Shakesville

Antiques with Deeks: The World's Most Unfortunately Named Boardgame

Part four in my miniseries (see parts one, two and three) on antiques. Because all us homos love antiques, right? Today, I've just one item. And I submit it without comment.

Annette's Secret Passage game. Yes, you read that right. A boardgame about America's Sweetheart's "secret passage." (I know I said I wasn't going to comment, but...) I don't know what knuckleheaded pervo came up with this name, but really, do we need to allude to the Mouseketeer's nether regions in 72 pt type?

And yes, I am twelve years old, why do you ask?

I came up with a few alternate names that wouldn't have been as ... unfortunate:

Annette and the Scrod Fishing Excursion Game

Annette's Shipwreck Survival Game

Annette on the Lido Deck Game

Annette's Smuggling Adventure Game

Annette vs. the Pirates Game

Annette's Cruise-wear Fashion Game

A Bunch of White Kids on a Boat Game

Thanks for reading. Next week: Deeky Goes To Church!

[Cross-posted.]

Personal Note

Just checking in to say, yes, I still exist. I'm sorry I missed B&T this week, Tuesday I was catching up my sleep debt from two brutal nights of insomnia. And that's kinda how the week's gone, really. It'll be back next week, but I'm officially taking the pressure off myself to get it done this week.

I'm also (and this is partly the reason I'm speaking up about this) suffering, as I do every year, from Seasonal Affective Disorder, which functions for me sort of like a superdepression (that is, a depression layer on top of the usual one). It's February in Canada, so it's dark, and cold, and everything is either white or grey. And working at home as I do, because of my disability, means I can literally go days without leaving the apartment, and without seeing anyone or hearing anything but my own voice or the TV/radio/CD player/whatever.

I'm going to try and get a NQDTR thread up today, and I've got a couple of articles I really want to write (like one on this appalling situation, sent to me by Unree, about a Canadian woman more or less interned in Saudi Arabia for the crime of being a woman, and another from MzBitca via Liss, here). But as with the old regular kind of depression, productivity in "Areas That Don't Contribute To Me Being Fed And Sheltered" is a real problem.

I mention this not because I seek sympathy (but thank you) - my life is what it is, my body is what it is, and it's my lot to live with them - but to be a visible person with an invisible disorder, in a sense. To say to those out there sharing these things with me that they're not alone, that even someone who may appear all successful and shit can turn out to be badly affected too, and that yes, it is possible to live with depression and/or SAD, for some folk (for some; I don't want this to become a lash to whack other sufferers with, just because they're not susceptible to the things that keep me functioning). I muddle through, with a little help from my friends, and a lot of love from those who love me, and with being gentle with myself when it gets heavy and I stop functioning a bit. And with knowing that only a couple more months will bring spring, warmer temps, longer days, less white-and-grey. It'll be more painful (rheumatic pain is no fun in the Days Of Cool And Damp), but it'll be a happier time nonetheless.

So yah. I still exist, and will be writing here again, and the NQDTR will be back, hopefully today. And I'm living with depression, and SAD, and that's just life. I know it sounds contradictory, but I'm really not unhappy; just suffering from depression. All the other depressives are now nodding, cause they get it, but yah, remember:

depression != unhappiness

Hope you all have a lovely day, or have had, if you're at your day's end.

* Note: I really, really don't need suggestions on how to deal with this. I've been doing so since I was a teen, in various ways, which is longer than some of you have been alive. I'm good for coping methods, such as they are, and of the ones I'm not using, you can safely assume that I have investigated them, and discovered they didn't work for me. If they did for you or your friend or your cousin's brother-in-law's hairdresser's mechanic, please know I'm very happy that they've been able to find relief. If someone asks in comments for help with coping strategies, that's on-topic; suggestions to me for how I could live my life differently with $STRATEGY aren't. Thanks. :)

Two Possible SCOTUS Vacancies?

ABC News reports that Justices John Paul Stevens and Ruth Bader Ginsburg might both be considering retirement from the Supreme Court. Unfortunately, Stevens and Ginsburg are both liberals, so the make-up of the court would retain a conservative majority. In fact, Stevens and Ginsburg are so reliably liberal, I question whether President Bipartisan's nominees will further balance the court rightward.

In any case, he won't nominate nutwits like John Roberts and Sam Alito, Bush's two appointments. The SCOTUS remains, IMO, the #1 place where party difference still matters.

Open Thread

Hosted by jellyfish, squid, and octopus water bottle buddies. Want.

Via. Cutest choking hazard ever.

Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime

Frankie Goes To Hollywood: "Two Tribes"

Question of the Day

What's the strangest item you've ever seen in an antique, resale, or second-hand shop?

Following up on the Antiques with Deeks miniseries, during one of my recent shopping excursions, I picked up this lovely item (left).

It's a bottle that once contained embalming fluid.

I've no idea how old it is, but it's pretty darn cool. Better than a Gabe Kaplan puzzle, that's for sure.

The bottle now sits next to the tub and stores bubble bath.

Today in Not Fat-Hating!

Take it away, Ellen DeGeneres:

Ellen DeGeneres is tired of women thinking beauty is synonymous with being super-skinny.

...The CoverGirl spokeswoman's biggest frustration? Airbrushing.

"Women are looking at bodies like that and going, 'My stomach doesn't look like that. I'm supposed to look like that?!'" the talk show host, 52, says. "So they starve themselves and they work out like crazy."

She adds: "It's not important. We put the wrong emphasis on what beauty is and what health is. Health is being vibrant and having energy and being happy. If you're healthy, it's got nothing to do with how much you weigh."

Look at that: No fat-hating, no thin-hating, no deeming a singular body type as "normal," no discussion of "real women," no demonization of one segment of women in order to prop up another. This is Doing It Right.

Daily Kitteh

Sophie.

Thank You for Being a Friend…

LOL: "[Rue McClanahan] is still recuperating in the hospital after her November stroke, but was 'tickled' when she received a card from Betty saying words to the effect of 'Dear Rue, I hope you hurry up and die so I can be the last Golden Girl left.'"

I absolutely love that. I know that sort of repartee doesn't suit everyone's sense of humor, but it hits me right where I live—or, perhaps more accurately, right where I love.

I adore being (affectionately) teased by my close friends—and OMG do I love being teased by Iain. He can send me into absolute gales of breathless, gasping laughter by mocking the hell out of me.

I like it because it makes me feel very known, which is not an easy thing for me to let myself be.

And I like giving as good as I get back to Iain, and my friends who enjoy it. Hence Deeky and I spending approximately 5% of every day calling each other assholes, for example.

That sort of friendly teasing creates such strong bonds—and it serves a pretty important purpose too: Part of the reason stuff like "fuck you fatso!" is so easy to laugh at is because I've got a handful of people who love me who say the same sort of ridiculous shit to me all the time, but with affection.

That's incomprehensible to people who don't share that sense of humor, among whom are also people I consider friends; I get that not everyone likes to be teased, because I don't like to be teased by just anyone. It really is a special sort of trust, shared by people who respect each other's consent to be subjected to the ribald ruthlessness that only a true friend who really knows you can brutally, beautifully, hilariously deliver.

Quote of the Day

"We were taken aback a little bit by a vocal minority. It was something we didn't anticipate. But this is a people-focused company, so we had to respond to those concerns."—David Droga, creative chairman at Droga5, who created the "Shiny Suds" Method advert. (Via.)

I am bitterly amused by the assertion that a "people-focused" company couldn't foresee any objection to the sexual assault of a ~~person~~ woman being treated like a joke to sell cleaning products.

[Previously on the Method Shiny Suds Ad: Today in Rape Culture, I Write Letters, I Get Letters, Hysterical Bitchez, Well, I Guess That's Us Told, Wow, What's Your Opinion on These Unstable Hysterics?]

Just When You Thought You'd Heard The Last of Duncan Sheik

Duncan Sheik, he of "Barely Breathing" fame, has returned to what he does best: annoying me.

Bret Easton Ellis' shittiest novel (no mean feat, that) is being adapted to the Broadway stage. Yes, Duncan Sheik is writing lyrics to American Psycho: The Musical.

Terrific.

Intelligence: New and Improved!

And 100% torture free!

The agents and key family members arrived in back in the US on January 17th. The family members met with officials from the Justice Department and the FBI to plan a way forward.

"One of the principal reasons why his family came back is because they had complete trust in the US system of justice and believed that Umar Farouq would be treated fairly and appropriately," the senior official said. "And that they would be as well."

The FBI and Abdulmuttalab's family approached the subject and "gained his cooperation. He has been cooperating for days," the official said.

LOST Snack-Plate Review

While the entire PortlyDyke household agreed that last night's LOST was OMG!-arific, my home-made onion dip also got rave reviews.

I thought I'd give you a partial picture of the snack layout for last night, (recipes below).

I'm thinking of renaming this onion dip recipe to:

What-A-Mind-Fuck Onion Dip

Portly's What-A-Mind-Fuck Onion Dip

1 cup sour cream (we use Nancy's Organic)
1/3 cup (or so) finely diced onion (coarser if you like it that way)
Pinch (or more to taste) Garlic powder
Salt and Pepper to taste (start with 1/8 teaspoon if you need a jumping off point -- I prefer lots of pepper)
Balsamic Vinegar

Brown the diced onions in a medium hot skillet (in butter or a dash of oil) -- be sure to brown them until they are quite tender and getting a little brown color throughout.

Blend with sour cream, add garlic powder, salt, pepper, and vinegar. (I usually blend the spices in first, then add the vinegar to taste dash by dash until the tart balances the sweetness of the cream. I also depend on the color to know if I've got the vinegar balance right (it gets that slight brownish creamy color).

(Note: Even better the next day)

Portly's Let's-Watch-It-Again Deviled Eggs

12 Eggs
1/4 cup very finely diced celery
1/4 cup very finely diced shallot
3 tablespoons Mayo or Vegenaise
1 tablespoon sweet pickle relish
salt and pepper (to taste)
chili oil
paprika

Hard-boil eggs (use whatever method you like, but make sure the yolks get hard enough to pop them out easily) -- cool eggs (I keep them in cold water for at least 30 minutes). Peel eggs and cut them in half. Pop the yolks out into a bowl.

Add celery, shallot, mayo, and relish to yolks, mix thoroughly until it's smooth and fluffy. Add salt and pepper to taste, then chili oil to taste (careful with that stuff -- a drop or three goes a long way -- but if you're daring, they're pretty good spicy!).

Fill the egg halves with the yolk filling, sprinkle with paprika. You can also garnish them with a sprig of fresh parsley or cilantro on top.

Before serving, wrap Dharma beer labels around drinking glasses.

Wednesday Blogaround

This bloground brought to you by Shaxco, distributors of Portly Dyke's Delicious Onion Dip.

Recommended Reading:

Shark-fu: Dearest Graydon...we need to talk.

Jaclyn: The Second Sex at the Super Bowl

Chris: US Baptists 'Knew Taking Children out of Haiti Was Wrong'

Jill: Do you live in the United States? Here are some stats that will make you want to move.

Tigtog: This is why the "it's just sci-fi, it shouldn't have to be PC" argument is crap.

SarahMC: Thinking in Pictures

A. Rahman Ford: Race, Disability, and Denial

Leave your links in comments...

Fact-Check on Abstinence-Only Sex Ed

It has been all over the news the past few days that a new study purportedly shows "found for the first time that abstinence-only education helped to delay [students'] sexual initiation."

Our friends at the Guttmacher Institute took a look at the study and noted something significant (pdf):

An abstinence-only intervention aimed at young, urban African-American adolescents successfully delayed sexual initiation among participants in the program, according to a well-designed new study, "Efficacy of a Theory-Based Abstinence-Only Intervention Over 24 Months," by John B. Jemmott and colleagues. While the evaluated program is the first abstinence-only intervention to demonstrate this positive impact in a randomized control trial, it was not a rigid "abstinence-only-until-marriage" program of the type that, until this year, received significant federal funding. The evaluation, therefore, adds important new information to the question of "what works" in sex education, but it essentially leaves intact the significant body of evidence (pdf) showing that abstinence-only-until-marriage programming that met previous federal guidelines is ineffective.

This is an important distinction, and it will be useful information to have at one's fingertips when the Jemmott study is used by abstinence-only until marriage advocates to argue that abstinence-only sex ed is effective.

This study isn't a game-changer. Reproductive rights advocates who have long championed comprehensive sex education have always been in favor of including information on abstinence. (That's what makes it comprehensive.) The difference is that feminists endorse making abstinence merely one part of a broader sex ed curriculum, and don't endorse linking abstinence to marriage.

So basically this study, if anything, reinforces the existing position of comprehensive sex ed advocates. It doesn't lend credibility to the resoundingly-debunked position of abstinence-only until marriage brigade.

If we had responsible media, that might have been clear.

My Turn to Spew

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-o_O) continues to baffle thinking mammals everywhere with yet another award winning theory that compares health care reform critics to blacklisted communists:

BACHMANN:He said that in Japan, to wait and get health care is almost impossible. You get on a list and you wait and you wait and you wait. But he said this is something people don’t know: in Japan, people have stopped voicing their opinion on health care. There are things that are wrong with Japanese health care, but people are afraid of voicing. 'Well why is that,' I asked. [He said], 'Because they know that would get on a list and they wouldn’t get health care. They wouldn’t get in. They wouldn’t get seen. And so people are afraid. They’re afraid to speak back to government. They’re afraid to say anything.' Is that what we want for our future? That takes us to gangster government at that point!

Never mind that there's absolutely no proof whatsoever that what Bachmann describes is even happening in Japan, she actually expects people to believe that any involvement of our government in health care would result in a patient-reject list being distributed to every hospital and medical professional in the entire country.

Since Bachmann can apparently say absolutely anything she wants without any fear of consequence, I think I can do better. Here goes:

Michele Bachmann is a well-known terrorist in certain circles, having terrorist ties going back before 9/11. While most people know her as a politician who makes a habit out of spewing nonsense, what most people don't know is that it's a clever diversionary tactic that contains secret coded messages for Al-Qaeda operatives. The more absurd the statement, the more important information is being transmitted. Investigations have found that as a result of Al-Qaeda's #2 and #3 operatives constantly getting killed or captured, Bachmann is now ranked in the organization at an all-time high of 105223. Bachmann is being monitored while questioning of the failed Christmas day bomber continues.

Hey - it's up to her to disprove it!

Lost Open Thread

OMFG. We have so much to talk about! When the new episode started last night, Iain and KBlogz were laughing their asses off at me, because I was so excited I literally had goosebumps up and down my arms and legs. They were probably both secretly thanking Maude I didn't piddle on the goddamn floor like a puppy. And I gotta say: The episode did not disappoint. It was, without question, my favorite season opener ever. I LOVE YOU, LOST!

[Recommended Reading: You may enjoy this interview with Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof, who shed a little bit of light of WTF is going on—but are careful, as always, to give us just enough to be tantalizing and not enough to spoil.]

This gasbag is still talking. Part 2.

This is the extended Limbaugh quote I referenced yesterday (emphasis mine):

Oh, I'm a huge supporter of women. What I'm not a supporter of is liberalism. Feminism is what I oppose, and feminism has led women astray. I love women. I don't know where all this got started. I love the women's movement — especially when walking behind it. This idea that I don't like women is absurd. This is Miss America. And if there's a Mr. America out there, it's me.

I love when Rush Limbaugh is walking behind the women's movement, too. All the better so he can kiss my fat ass.

Antiques with Deeks: Anthropomorphs

Part three of my trek through the antique mall. (See also parts one and two.) Today: A giant bunny.

I don't know if you can tell from the photo, but this fucking thing is probably three-and-a-half feet tall. I am going to guess this ragged, creepy bunny in a too-wide tie is some remnant of Easters bygone. I'm not sure why his legs are sans fur, other than some value engineering on the part of the manufacturer. Whatever. He wasn't worth the $200 price tag.

I also found a great showroom dummy. He was a little boy with fire orange hair painted upon his fiberglass skull. He had little curls on his brow that were much like flames one might paint on the front of their van to give the impression of great speed, as if the vehicle were a rocket reentering the atmosphere. There was glint in this boy's eye and a smirk on his face that was just not right. Frankly, he was kind of scary, and I tried to imagine what kind of store would want this in their window.

I can't really go into what happened to the photo, so please don't ask. Just trust me that it was pretty fucking awesome. But alas, I am unable to share it with you. But hey, I feel bad about that, so I'll repost something I saw on another visit:

Robocephus. A singing, dancing Hank Williams Jr. And no, there is no way this grotesquery qualifies as an antique. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

(Concludes tomorrow.)

[Cross-posted.]

Open Thread

Hosted by a Demon Squid Kaiju figure.