This blogaround brought to you by Shaxco, makers of Lissie's Aerodynamic Meatball Subs. "They fly as awesome as they taste!"
Recommended Reading:
Echidne: Utterly Hilarious
Meloukhia: Avatar: The New York Times Has Found Itself Some Straw Feminists
Resistance: No … thank … you …
Tami: Is a diverse environment enough to innoculate against racism?
Angry Asian Man: The Game "Supports" Korean Pop Group
Andy: Report: Sex Tape Features Well-Endowed John Edwards
Leave your links in comments...
Monday Blogaround
What's in a Name?
Sometimes, everything.
Changing a name might seem like a minor matter for those who are changing their gender identities and, for some, facing challenges like finding knowledgeable doctors, trying hormones and experimenting with painful hair-removal procedures. But many who have gone through the switch say a name change sends an important message to the world, a message solidified and made official with a court's approval.I love when I see courts and common sense and compassion all in the same place. And what a refreshingly sensitive (if imperfect) article from the New York Times on a gender issue.
..."There is a long emotional, physical process that a lot of us have to go through," said Katherine Cross, 22, of the Bronx, who got her new name in July. She said her transition included learning how to force her voice into a higher register and the basics of shopping for women's clothing.
"For me," she said, "the centerpiece was the name change."
...The two recent rulings in New York courts helped clear the way for more such moments on Centre Street.
In one case, an appeals panel overruled a Manhattan civil court judge who had insisted on doctors' notes giving reasons for name changes in transgender cases. The panel said there was "no sound basis in law or policy" for the requirement and noted that the law generally permits people to change their names unless there is some fraudulent intent involved.
In the other decision, a Westchester judge made an exception to a general requirement that name changes and home addresses be advertised in newspapers, saying the safety issues for people in gender transition were obvious in a world that can be hostile.
[H/T to Shaker ASDKids2.]
Greetings and Salutations
by Shaker ninthpossibility
[Trigger warning.]
So the other day I was browsing for a birthday card, and I found one. It's the perfect card for anyone who wants to take time on their special day to celebrate violence against women in the classiest, most sentimental way. With Hallmark! Let me describe this card for you, since the picture I tried to take didn't turn out. On the front is a cartoon drawing of O.J. Simpson with his arms full of football memorabilia and a speech balloon that says "I didn't steal all this stuff, but if I did, this is how I would have done it." Which is a clever reference not only to the sports memorabilia he's currently serving time for stealing, but also – and this is the really funny part, people – also to that one time when he murdered two people, got away with it, and then wrote a book called If I Did it, Here's How it Happened.
The inside of the card reads: "Have all the birthday fun you can get away with."
Because murdering your wife? That is fun. I mean, who could argue with that?
Oh. Yes. I could. And I did!
I sent Hallmark a short email in which I admirably refrained from using a single profanity and quite clearly outlined what was wrong with the card. I also asked them to please not bother sending me a reply at all if said reply contained the words "I'm sorry if you were offended."
I'm not interesting in condescending lip service.
Which is just tough cookies, apparently, because Hallmark emailed me back:Thank you for contacting Hallmark.
That's a doozy, that is. I forwarded the response to my best friend and she said that her favorite part was how ''they reassure you that the 'offbeat' cards haven't replaced the 'traditional' cards. Because you are obviously just a traditionalist worried about the damn hippies screwing up your greeting card selection."
We have received your thoughtful comments expressing concern about some of the topics and images represented in our humor cards, and are happy to have the opportunity to respond.
You are right that some of our more recent humor cards incorporate more offbeat styles and topics than you've seen from Hallmark in the past. Greeting cards reflect the times - something we have learned over nearly 100 years of being in this business of helping people connect and nurture relationships. Nowhere is this more true than in the realm of humor, where "what's funny" is not only very individual to each person and relationship, but also constantly evolves over time. This is why we have extended our range of humor cards into some areas that may not be to everyone's taste, but please know that these are a narrow segment of the total humor card offering and have not replaced our more traditional humor cards.
Our goal with humor cards has always been, and remains, to appeal to a wide range of people and help them connect with one another through laughter. Occasionally we don't get it right, but we never intend our products to offend or be used in hurtful ways.
We appreciate your preference for Hallmark products and place a high value on your comments.
Please accept our apology for the unintended offense, and our appreciation for taking the time to let us know about that.
Thanks,
Hallmark Consumer Care
Yeah. That's a good part. I also like the part where they remind me that "what's funny is individual to each person and relationship." Because the relationship where one person murders the other person? Totally funny. And why shouldn't there be a greeting card for just such an occasion? Clearly I'm behind the times.
So I did a small bit of teaspooning against Hallmark, and my teaspoon did about exactly as much good as I thought it would. My concerns were waved away and the few dollars that I spend annually on greeting cards won't be missed. That's why I was hoping to bring this in front of some Shakers: Maybe a few more teaspoons will do the trick. What I'd like to see from Hallmark is a real apology and the card being pulled from stores.
Because the last place I'd expected to be sucker-punched with this kind of casual regard for violence and misogyny was in the freaking birthday card selection at Hallmark.
Contact Hallmark at 1-800-HALLMARK or go here for email links.
[Note from Liss: As always, please be polite if you decide to contact Hallmark.]
O Glorious Day!
US to lift 21-year ban on haggis:
Smuggled and bootlegged, it has been the cause of transatlantic tensions for more than two decades. But after 21 years in exile, the haggis is to be allowed back into the United States.LOL!
The "great chieftan o' the puddin-race" was one of earliest casualties of the BSE crisis of the 1980s-90s, banned on health grounds by the US authorities in 1989 because they feared its main ingredient ‑ minced sheep offal ‑ could prove lethal.
Some refined foodies might insist it always has been and always will be: in the words of Robert Burns, in his Ode to a Haggis, looking "down wi' sneering, scornfu' view on sic a dinner". But now, as millions of Scots around the world prepare to celebrate Burns's legacy tonight with an elaborate, whisky-fuelled pageant to a boiled bag of sheep innards, oatmeal, suet and pepper, its reputation has been restored, on health grounds at least.
Don't let anyone tell you different: Haggis may sound horrible, but (if you are a meat-eater), it is absolutely scrumptuous! Of course, it has to be prepared correctly, which, in my experience, means prepared by a Scottish butcher in fookin' Scotland. Hence my joy that the US will allow importation again.
Iain, who has not had a single wee bite o' the sneering, scornfu' stuff since he set foot in America eight years ago, will almost certainly put on his ghillies and break into a Highland Dance to celebrate.
Or not. There's a distinct possibility he will merely say, "Fank fook!"
Especially as this means Scotch Pie cannot be long behind...
Men Are Pigs!
So we are told in yet another round of "The Biggest Man-Haters in the World Are Not Feminists, But Misogynists."
I've said it before, and I'll no doubt have occasion to say it again: Anyone who serves up this sort of jaw-droppingly gender essentialist content under the pretense of being representative of how the average guy views himself, women, and the world, is profoundly contemptuous of any notion of a spectrum of manhood, and is thus a person who hates men in ways I can't even begin to contemplate.
[H/T to Megan.]
Stray Animals
[Trigger warning.]
According to South Carolina's lieutenant governor, there's no point in helping poor people because all it does is encourage them.
Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer is defending his comment which compared government assistance programs to "feeding stray animals."This is what they mean by "compassionate conservatives," huh?
Bauer made the comparison during a town hall meeting Friday in Fountain Inn. He was saying poor parents of students who eat free or reduced-price meals in school cafeterias should be required to attend parent-teacher conferences, or the students should go without.
"My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed," Bauer said, according to the Greenville News. "You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that. And so what you've got to do is you've got to curtail that type of behavior. They don't know any better."
Crossposted.
No More Words
A Menifee, California, school district has banned the Merriam-Webster dictionary. Because the book contains the words "oral sex." The school district is now "forming a committee to review whether dictionaries containing the definitions for sexual terms should be permanently banned." Of course they are.
The district will no doubt consider more age-appropriate dictionaries as replacements. Hopefully they'll check for the inclusion of these words before making a final decision: Pooh, coccyx, vagina, titular, penalize, asinine, hump, and Lake Titicaca.
[Cross-posted.]
Promises, Promises
Obama to Offer Aid for Families in State of the Union Address:
President Obama will propose in his State of the Union address a package of modest initiatives intended to help middle-class families, including tax credits for child care, caps on some student loan payments and a requirement that companies let workers save automatically for retirement, senior administration officials said Sunday.Despite being part of a middle-class family, I have no children, have no student loans, am self-employed, have no retirement savings, and am not caring for elderly relatives, so I'm awesomely excited about this!
...The proposals also include expanded tax credits for retirement savings and money for programs to help families care for elderly relatives.
In all seriousness, I am all for programs that support childcare, eldercare, education, and savings, but I am absolutely fed up to the teeth with "tax credits." Americans (who can't afford personal tax attorneys) already fail to claim many of the tax credits they could, because the American tax code is ridiculously overcomplicated. And many of the Americans who would be most helped by various tax credits don't actually make enough money to qualify.
If our government (our Democratic fucking government) wants to do something meaningful, they need to create a program and spend some money and be willing to take some goddamned flak for having principles. Instead, they're hiding "change" in the tax code, which, apart from being cowardly, cedes ground to Republican strategies. Awesome.
The address is still being written, but one senior official, describing it on the condition of anonymity, said its main themes would include "creating good jobs, addressing the deficit, helping the middle class and changing Washington."Oh for fuck's sake.
Open Thread
Hosted by James Lipton.
This week's open threads have been brought to you by the insides of things: filling empty spaces since 1972.
The Virtual Pub Is Open
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]
TFIF, Shakers!
Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!
News from Shakes Manor
So, I just got back from running a quick errand, and on my journey, I was behind a guy who was driving sort of slow and veeringly. Nothing terribly scary, but I could see that he was trying to do something while he drove; I always love being within wrecking distance of someone who enjoys multitasking while they're operating heavy machinery.
No sooner had "What's this a-hole up to?" crossed my mind than I saw a meatball sub come flying out the guy's window and land in the road with a saucy splat. I mean, this thing wasn't casually tossed, or dropped; it was launched with determined disgust.
As I drove past it, I saw it was missing a single bite, which just made me burst out laughing. It was like he took one bite and was all, "Fuck this sandwich!" and pitched it into the street.
(That is, in fact, not the vehicle that was in front of me today, but a vehicle of which I took a picture while stopped at a red light a couple of weeks ago, because its bumper sticker reads, "I never saw an American flag burned at a gun show.")
I'm very anti-litter (and food-wasting), but that was some hilarious shit. And the coyote who's been running about the neighborhood will have a special dinner tonight—if the raccoons don't get to it first.
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
Strips One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100. In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman and a biracial queerbait telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.
In Things a Fat Woman Could Have Told You Years Ago
The biggest risk to your health as a fat woman could be prejudice and ignorance in the medical community.
[H/T to Shaker Peter.]
Some of Scott Baio's Wife's Best Friends Are Black
Let me start off by saying sending death threats to Scott Baio is not cool. In fact, sending death threats to anyone is not cool. Threatening a person just because you disagree with them is actually quite shitty. Doubly shitty is threatening that person's family. I wish that went without saying, but it doesn't, apparently.
So, what prompted the threats? A recent Baio tweet (oh, how I hate that word, by the way) of a picture of Michelle Obama accompanied by the text "WOW He wakes up to this every morning."
Baio immediately found himself deflecting charges he's a racist. "I'm NOT racist for posting a pic of M.O. My WIFE'S BEST FRD IS BLACK, HELLO." Hey, I don't know if Baio is a racist, but I do know he's just taken the racist's most tired, empty tack to defend himself. Some of Baio's best friends are black, so he can't be racist! Yeah, okay.
I do, however, know that Baio is a privileged jackass:
If YOU are born in AMERICA, U ARE AN AMERICAN. I don't insist on being called Italian-American. Therefore Black Amer are not Afr-Amer. Or that would mean people (white or black) born in Africa would be called African-Africans ... Just a thought to think about...
Baio, an Italian-American, does not "insist" you refer to him as an Italian-American, so it follows that Black Americans are not African-Americans. I'll leave it to you to parse that bit of Baio Logic yourself.
I guess all those years on Bibleman have clouded his head just a bit.
I think it's time.
We need to talk. Yes, Apple Genius, I'm talking to you. I know I've been amused in the past when you've thrown in some totally strange and unrelated song into a mix/playlist. Like, say, a playlist based on Paolo Nutini's "Last Request" and getting Metallica in the mix.
However this "Brit Pop" mix you came up with...
See, I expected U2 would be there, even if they're pretty well known as an Irish band. The Kooks, Muse, The Thompson Twins, Radiohead...yes. I'll even give you a pass on Rufus Wainwright, even though he's Canadian-American. And maybe on Interpol too, just for their name. But this?
Satellite, The Dave Matthews Band
Just. No.
Yes, yes, I know there's probably some formula it uses to make the lists. Still. LOL
Um, Okay
Obama Seen as Anti-Business: "The global quarterly poll of investors and analysts who are Bloomberg subscribers finds that 77% of U.S. respondents believe Obama is too anti-business."
Iain and I just laughed about this on the phone for like 10 minutes.
You know, since the '90s (thanks, Bill Clinton!), the Dems have been cozying up to corporations as much as possible, and all that awesome strategy has accomplished is to provide space for the Republicans to get even cozier with them and not look like the absolutely ruthless and soulless scum they would appear to be if the Dems were serving working (or looking for work) Americans. Instead, the Republicans just look like the slightly-more-evil of two evils.
The Dems still don't get that they'll never be able to out-corporate the GOP.
And by making corporate cronyism mainstream, by turning every American into someone who hopelessly sighs that every politician is bought and sold by some corporation or other anyway, they're just hastening this country's slide into fascism.
That's not to absolve the Republicans of their dirty deeds, but they were never going to be the Good Guys in this game.
