Mr. Gaiman:
In regard to your post, I first want to tell you that I am sorry about Zoe. I know you don't know me from Eve, but I write in a house with three cats, whom most of my regular readers probably know by name, and my sympathy for your pain over Zoe is genuine and deep.
I have no interest in protracting my original point, and will respond only to your assertion that "having used that phrase undid all the good I'd ever done by writing positive women, supporting RAINN etc." That is not a claim I made, nor something I believe.
The truth is, Mr. Gaiman, if I didn't consider you someone who has done a lot of good, if I didn't respect that you've written positive female characters and supported RAINN, if I didn't regard you as someone who I thought might be receptive to the concern, I wouldn't have bothered writing the post. I'm not in the habit of wasting my time on lost causes. It was, in fact, because you had shown yourself, to me and many other women, to be someone who might take such an issue seriously that I wrote the post at all.
If you're still keen to render that plague on my house, I prefer frogs to locusts, if it's all the same to you.
Warmest regards,
Melissa McEwan
I Write Letters
In Which I Substitute an Email Conversation with Deeky for an Actual Post
Liss: Okay, it's totes awesome that Cindy and Meghan McCain are pro-same sex marriage, but why the eff does Cindy have a piece of duct tape over her mouth in a NOH8 campaign image?
I mean, I get that it's obviously supposed to be implying that NOH8 (no hate) will come out of her mouth, but doesn't that mean that nothing in support of same-sex marriage can come out, either? (Hard to be an ally that way. Whatever happened to "silence = death"?) And isn't it a vaguely disturbing message b/c of the association with violence against women? Or am I missing something?
Deeky: No. In fact, it is reminds me of those creepy anti-choice protesters:
Liss: OMG. Well recalled. And, in other news, Cindy McCain is not allowed to look like the 55-year-old woman she is, but is instead consigned to the fate of the Impossibly Beautiful.
Is this story stylish, or fashionable?
It's great to see a story in the New York Times about the children of same-sex couples speaking out about how marriage bans affect them.
It's disappointing, however, that the story is filed in the "Fashion & Style" section.
It has been previously discussed here that serious stories—like those about, say, domestic violence, multigenerational parenting, gender bias and sexual harassment, stalking, and rape—frequently end up in the NYT "Fashion & Style" section (and the fashion/style/life/living/etc. sections of various other papers) because "style" sections are disproportionately staffed by female writers, who use whatever platform they've got to write serious stories. So I want to make it clear I'm not knocking the writer of this piece (who is, indeed, a woman).
This is an editing failure. It's a failure of relegating women disproportionately to the "style" sections in the first place, and it's a failure of letting pieces that are demonstrably not "style" content run under that header, which ultimately has the effect of marginalizing the content. Stories about women, or gay couples, are "special interest" stories only in cultures where privileged classes are not expected to treat members of those populations as their equals.
Quickly, I'll just note that I find publishing a story about the children of gay parents in the "Fashion & Style" section additionally problematic because of the unavoidable suggestion that being a gay parent is hip and trendy, or that families headed by same-sex parents are a fad. There is also the unintentional subtext of children being treated like accessories, which I patently detest. Fail all around, basically.
[H/T to Shaker EastSideKate.]
The Mind Reels
According to this story in the NY Post (super-relevant headline: "Club Paddles Stripper Suit")*, a strip club owner is claiming that two of his former employees lack "sufficient moral character" to sue him for lost wages. You know, because they're strippers. The turpitude!
The backstory: More than 200 current and former employees of Rick's Cabaret in Manhattan are suing the company's owner for $5 million, claiming that the club charged patrons $24 for each lap dance but only paid the dancers $18. Additionally, the employees charge that Rick's charged them $50 a shift for the use of its poles and stages—a common practice known as the "stage fee" or "house fee," a nightly fee for the right to work the floor.
It's hard to ignore the irony of a man who peddles women's flesh for a living chastising two of those women for lacking sufficient "moral character." In a statement to the Post, the women's attorney called the charges "evidence of the defendant's desperation in the face of overwhelming case law holding that their practices are unlawful."
It's still unclear whether the case will move forward.
* As you might guess, the comments at the link are not recommended.
Scary Rotter and the Pontificator's Drone
Shaker Crissy emails (which I am sharing with her permission):
I was browsing my Amazon recommendations, and one of them was Glenn Beck's "The Christmas Sweater." I clicked on the "fix this recommendation" button to ask it to kindly remove this crap from my recommendation list, and, funnily enough, it had recommended the book to me because I told it I owned "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" and rated another Harry Potter book.
Needless to say, the many possibilities of this find have struck me as incredible. The irony! Or, perhaps Amazon has come to the same conclusion as me: Glenn Beck is Voldemort.
Dems React to SCOTUS Decision
The Dems are not happy about the Supreme Court's decision to ease restrictions on corporate campaign donations. The Hill reports that Senator Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.), who chairs the Senate Rules Committee, plans to "hold hearings to explore ways to limit corporate spending on elections," and the Senate hopes to pass legislation before mid-term elections this year.
Meanwhile, the White House released a statement condemning the decision and vowing to work with Congressional Dems to pass legislation to undercut the change:
With its ruling today, the Supreme Court has given a green light to a new stampede of special interest money in our politics. It is a major victory for big oil, Wall Street banks, health insurance companies and the other powerful interests that marshal their power every day in Washington to drown out the voices of everyday Americans. This ruling gives the special interests and their lobbyists even more power in Washington--while undermining the influence of average Americans who make small contributions to support their preferred candidates. That's why I am instructing my Administration to get to work immediately with Congress on this issue. We are going to talk with bipartisan Congressional leaders to develop a forceful response to this decision. The public interest requires nothing less.Call me cynical, but I imagine the real principle at work here is not some heartfelt concern for average Americans but the fact that corporate donations generally go to Republicans—and if new regulations aren't put in place to halt the impending windfall into GOP coffers, the Democrats are going to struggle mightily to get (re)elected.
Nonetheless, this is still good news.
Thursday Theremin
Pekkanini plays his original composition "Fat Theremin" and delights viewers with some totally awesome visual effects.
[Cross-posted.]
lolsob
President Obama signaled on Wednesday that he might be willing to scale back his proposed health care overhaul to a version that could attract bipartisan support, as the White House and Congressional Democrats grappled with a political landscape transformed by the Republican victory in the Massachusetts Senate race.Someone get me Olympia Snowe's head on the spacephone, stat!!!
"I would advise that we try to move quickly to coalesce around those elements of the package that people agree on," Mr. Obama said in an interview on ABC News, notably leaving near-universal insurance coverage off his list of core goals.
Criminy.
You know, I never thought the Democrats' pusillanimous, craven, pathetic spinelessness could reach a profundity still capable of surprising me, but throwing in the towel on their (admittedly disappointing) healthcare reform bill because they lost one goddamn special election is quite genuinely gobsmacking.
While Obama blathers on about sacrificing yet more at the glorious altar of bipartisanship, Pelosi has announced she now lacks the votes to pass the Senate bill, but hopes she might in the future.
So, the House needs the bill to be more progressive for it to pass, but the President is talking about making it more appealing to Republicans. Lordy begordy.
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
Strips One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99. In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman and a biracial queerbait telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.
Have I Mentioned Lately...
...that I don't like Jay Leno and think he's a bully? Hmm, I think I might have. Well, let me mention it one more time: Jay Leno is a contemptible bully.
Dave Letterman teed off on Jay Leno earlier this week in relation to the NBC 'Tonight' mess, and now Leno is fighting back directly at his nemesis -- only this time, it's personal instead of business. While Letterman generally kept his Leno insults showbiz-related, Leno fired off a marriage joke on Wednesday night that will surely hit close to home -- literally -- for Letterman, who last year admitted to having extramarital affairs.This joke shows you exactly what kind of misogynist asshole Leno is. He takes a swipe at Letterman's marriage that, in trying to hit Letterman, sprays collateral buckshot all over Regina Lasko, who is married to Letterman. And that's not a bug of the joke; it's a feature. Leno's the kind of nasty bully who will take aim at another guy in a way that hits his wife, too.
During his monologue, Leno admitted that "Letterman has been hammering me every night," addressing the attacks to his crowd and band leader Kevin Eubanks. Leno continued, asking Eubanks: "Hey Kev, you know the best way to get Letterman to ignore you? Marry him. He will not bother you. He won't look you in the eye."
It's a construction that treats Lasko like Letterman's property, which is why this jibe has the same cowardly feel as a guy who keys another guy's car in the dark parking lot of a bar, instead of taking a swing at him.
I have no love for David Letterman, but that is some low-ass shit, right there.
This is Very Bad News.
Very bad news (emphases mine):
The Supreme Court has given big business, unions and nonprofits more power to spend freely in federal elections, a major turnaround that threatens a century of government efforts to regulate the power of corporations to bankroll American politics.This decision absolutely makes my blood run cold. It is not hyperbole to say this decision is paving the way for America to become a fully-fledged corporatocracy, which, depending on your perspective, is a sibling to fascism or a version of it.
In a 5-4 ruling, the court's conservative majority crafted a narrow overhaul of federal campaign spending Thursday that could have an immediate effect on next year's congressional midterm elections.
"Our nation's speech dynamic is changing, and informative voices should not have to circumvent onerous restrictions to exercise their First Amendment rights," Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote for the majority.
The conservative-led opinion radically alters the election calculus, offering greater spending flexibility for a broader range of for-profit and nonprofit groups seeking a voice in the crowded national political debate.
In dissent, Justice John Paul Stevens wrote, "In a democratic society, the long-standing consensus on the need to limit corporate campaign spending should outweigh the wooden applications of judge-made rules."
When we look at the two major parties and see that there is so little difference between them that a stream of sunlight can barely eke through, when we see the GOP gleefully and unapologetically doing the business of corporations, watch with horror Democrats enthusiastically voting for massive hand-outs to Big Pharma and funding the adventures of the military-industrial complex and turning healthcare reform into a giant gift to the insurance industry and approaching environmental issues with the sort of shrugging trepidation that makes Big Energy grin, that is because the majority of Congress is already held in the thrall of corporate donors.
That was their power before the Supreme Court further eased restrictions on corporate campaign spending.
And, yes, unions and progressive non-profits are getting the same benefit, but I don't guess I need to note that unions and progressive non-profits aren't flush with cash the way corporations are. Even without government bail-outs.
This decision further diminishes any voice that isn't backed with a fuckload of money.
Someday, we may look back on this day and realize it was the day our democracy died.
Edwards Confirms What We Already Knew
Under the subject header "Good Christian," and with the attached note, "I hope the corrupting influence of your salty language isn't to blame for this," Iain emailed me about John Edwards finally admitting he fathered a child with a woman other than his wife:
In a written statement provided exclusively to NBC News, the former North Carolina senator and Democratic presidential candidate says he's taking responsibility for the child, Frances Quinn Hunter:To quote Deeky, "this is the same douchenozzle who had the temerity to lecture Liss on ethics." When I recall that phone call, in which Edwards explained to me how my Big Girl Language about religious misogyny and homophobia (used totally before I was in his employ and totally unrelated to the campaign) wasn't the sort of thing that he would say and wasn't appropriate and blah blah blah, my teeth clench together so hard I feel like I may spontaneously generate a new universe between my molars.
"I am Quinn's father. I will do everything in my power to provide her with the love and support she deserves. I have been able to spend time with her during the past year and trust that future efforts to show her the love and affection she deserves can be done privately and in peace.
It was wrong for me ever to deny she was my daughter and hopefully one day, when she understands, she will forgive me. I have been providing financial support for Quinn and have reached an agreement with her mother to continue providing support in the future.
To all those I have disappointed and hurt these words will never be enough, but I am truly sorry."
What. A. Wanker.
Question of the Day
Who is your least favorite comedian?
There are a lot of comedians I absolutely cannot stand, about many of whom I've written before (Dane Cook, Jeff Dunham, etc.), but for his unique combination of being totes horrible and having such a massive platform, I've got to cast my vote for Jay Leno.
HORRIBLE!
The Wanker King (Literally)
In case you'd forgotten in the last two seconds that John Mayer is a huge dipshit who emits a constant stream of fuckery from his squalid mouth, he's Rolling Stone's latest coverboy, and there's plenty in the accompanying article to recharge the pistons of contempt. I've seen a bunch of excerpts 'round the internetz today, and there are some real gems—like his search for "the Joshua Tree of vaginas" and how he'll "be happy when I close out this life-partner thing. It's been a long time since I've felt attached. Think of how much mental capacity I'm using to meet the right person so I can stop giving a fuck about it."—but nothing is quite as priceless as his treatise on masturbation:
I am the new generation of masturbator. I've seen it all. Before I make coffee, I've seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week. I mean, I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. The phone doesn't pick up because I'm masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion. First of all, I don't jerk off because I'm horny. I'm sort of half-chick. It's like District 9. I can fire alien weapons. I can insert a tampon. No, I do it because I want to take a brain bath. It's like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100 percent agreeable with itself.Brilliant. All hail the Wanker King.
[Related Reading: John Mayer Thinks Rape Is Hilarious.]
Panic Attack
I have recently discovered that thrashing through Dream Theater's "Panic Attack" on Rock Band 2 in hard mode, requiring my fingers to move faster than I thought possible and leaving me breathless and exhilarated, is a good way to avoid having an actual panic attack, as it engages my PTSD-riddled brain so thoroughly that an otherwise inexorable crescendo of anxiety is left no option but silent retreat in the void of my attention.
There is no such thing as an infallible "good trigger" for me—not even Eddie Izzard, my most faithful companion for crawling out of a spiral; I am covered in bees!—but "Panic Attack" is quickly becoming one of my most reliable distractions, an irony I find quite amusing and delightful.
[Lyrics below.]
All wound up
On the edge
Terrified
Sleep disturbed
Restless mind
Petrified
Bouts of fear
Permeate
All I see
Heightening
Nervousness
Threatens me
I am paralyzed
So afraid to die
Caught off guard
Warning signs
Never show
Tension strikes
Choking me
Worries grow
Why do I feel so numb
Is it something to do with where I come from
Should this be fight or flight
I don't know why I'm constantly so uptight
Rapid heartbeat pounding through my chest
Agitated body in distress
I feel like I'm in danger
Daily life is strangled by my stress
A stifling surge
Shooting through all my veins
Extreme apprehension
Suddenly I'm insane
Lost all hope for redemption
A grave situation desperate at best
Why do I feel so numb
Is it something to do with where I come from
Should this be fight or flight
I don't know why I'm constantly reeling
Helpless hysteria
A false sense of urgency
Trapped in my phobia
Possessed by anxiety
Run
Try to hide
Overwhelmed by this complex delirium
Helpless hysteria
A false sense of urgency
Trapped in my phobia
Possessed by anxiety
Run
Try to hide
Overwhelmed by this complex delirium
Vloggin' with Blogginz, Episode 10
[Episodes One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine.]
In which we discuss the late-night talkshow wars. The password is: horrible.
[Also available at Daily Motion. Full transcript below.]
Title Card: Vloggin' with Blogginz
Liss: Hello!
KBlogz: Hey!
Liss: How's it goin'?
KBlogz: Pretty great.
Liss: We haven't done a vlog in a really long time.
KBlogz: I knooooow!
Liss: It's been far too long.
KBlogz: It really has.
Liss: Um, I see that Olivia is joining you this evening, as is Sophie.
KBlogz: Hi, Olivia! Hi, Sophie!
[KBlogz reaches out to pet Olivia, who's next to him on the couch; she turns and hisses at him. Liss and KBlogz both laugh.]
Liss: Oh no! A little bit of an attitude problem from Olivia. That was not very nice of her!
[KBlogz grins and shakes his head, because he's used to it.]
Liss: It's weird how sometimes she's like your best friend [KBlogz nods], and sometimes she's like that.
KBlogz: I know; she turns on a dime.
Liss: [sighs] Yeah, she's a little, um, mercurial. [KBlogz nods] Sophie, on the other hand, is your BFF.
KBlogz: [nods and points at Sophie] It's true.
Liss: There she is. [KBlogz laughs] So, I was wondering if you could give me your take on the late-night talkshow wars at NBC, which have been raging lately…?
KBlogz: Okay. [edit] Um, this just feels like the new, you know, war between Team Jacob and Team Edward, so, it's like— [Liss laughs] It's, you know, it's like the new Twilight.
Liss: Yeah. Whose team are you on there?
KBlogz: Um, ooh. Jacob…? I dunno. I don't like to take sides. It's just—I, I enjoy both sides in that debate.
Liss: I agree with you.
KBlogz: Very difficult.
Liss: I mean, how can you choose between glitter and snarl? They're both sexy.
KBlogz: Two very hot dudes.
Liss: Yeah, exactly.
KBlogz: Who are monsters.
Liss: Which is actually the same thing that you can say about Leno and Conan.
KBlogz: Yeah, they're both monsters…but, it's like, Coco is kind of like Frankenstein, in that he—his intentions may be good…?
Liss: Mm-hmm.
KBlogz: But he still causes harm.
Liss: Mm-hmm.
KBlogz: Whereas Jay Leno is more like just an evil, horrible beast [Liss laughs] that just destroys all good things.
Liss: He really is. As you may recall, I actually, uh, organized a campaign of people flipping him off because I hate him so much.
KBlogz: I regret that he never addressed that on his show. Although, that would be kind of weird for you.
Liss: Well, he did say in an interview at one point that, you know, people on the internet are crazy and stupid or something; I don't know. [KBlogz laughs] You know, it was one of those defenses like, you don't have to take it seriously 'cause it's the internet, which isn't…"real."
KBlogz: Right. Well, you should say that teevee isn't real.
Liss: Yeah! Yeah, Leno!
KBlogz: Leno, nobody watches teevee anymore! [Liss laughs] You d-bag.
Liss: [laughing] He really is a d-bag; I can't stand him. I don't understand why he has, like, this likable guy reputation, because I think he seems like such a bully, and there's a really mean undertone to everything he says and does.
KBlogz: He's a horrible, despicable asshole. [laughs]
Liss: Yeah. And his show sucks, let's be honest.
KBlogz: He's not funny.
Liss: No.
[edit]
KBlogz: He has a really horrible delivery—
Liss: Mm-hmm.
KBlogz: —and, um, he will just— It's just so aggressively formulaic and so—
Liss: [laughs] Yeah!
KBlogz: —horrible, and you've got your lowest common denominator business going on—
Liss: Yeah.
KBlogz: He'll just go: [in Jay Leno voice and cadence] "Hey, did you guys hear about Paris Hilton this weekend? Yeah, meh meh meh, apparently, a slut!"
Liss: [bursts out laughing] That's totally right! That's it! He always says apparently, and then says the most "obvious," ridiculous thing ever—that's exactly right. Have you also noticed that he always repeats his punchlines like 50 times?
KBlogz: Yeah. [as Leno] "Meh, slut! Kevin! [as if looking at bandleader/sidekick Kevin Eubanks] Kevin, a slut!"
Liss: [bursts out laughing] That's right! And that's the joke.
KBlogz: Yeah, it is. [shakes head] And people can't get enough of it apparently.
Liss: [laughs] I know; it's horrible. He's so horrible.
[KBlogz laughs; edit]
KBlogz: [as Leno] "Yeah, so, this weekend I was driving around in my classic car, and I came up behind Tim Allen, and he went 'Arugh arugh arugh' and we high-fived each other! Meh meh! [edit] Yeah so, uh, Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer stopped by my house the other day, and, uh, they told me they were going to start filming for the next season of, uh, Two and a Half Men. And, uh, I don't have any joke for that; I'm just really excited. [edit] I was watching TMZ this weekend with my daughters, and, uh—"
Liss: He doesn't have any daughters.
KBlogz: Oh.
Liss: With his wife, Mavis.
KBlogz: [as Leno] "I was watching TMZ by myself in my giant airplane hangar full of cars [Liss laughs] and saw a news story about, uh, you know, Denise Richards, and she's a dumb idiot! Meh meh meh meh! [giggles as Leno] She doesn't know nothin'! [edit] Feh feh feh feh! Meh meh meh meh meh! Meh! Heh heh heh heh heh! [edit] Anyways, uh, you know, living in California is just crazy. Uh, you get to see a lot of Hollywood stars, and they're all dummies, and sometimes I like to call it Hollyweird! [edit] You know, I'm America's Sweetheart! I'm a really nice guy, I'm the nice guy of late night, I'm Jay Leno, everybody loves me, I got so many cars, I wear blue jeans, and a blue jeans shirt—it looks like a jumpsuit! I'm so nice!" [makes mean face]
[edit]
Liss: If his show were, like, a comic strip, what comic strip would it be?
KBlogz: It would be like a lot of comic strips, actually. [Liss laughs] Like, Marmaduke, and—
Liss: Ziggy.
KBlogz: Crack—Crankshaft, and Ziggy. Cathy—except Cathy's a woman, so yeah.
Liss: ACK! ACK!
Title Card: The End!!!
Quote of the Day
"Women are psychos."—Professional wankstain Glenn Beck, on his radio show earlier today.
What makes this quote particularly amusing is the context in which he made it, which was a discussion of how newly-elected Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown used the occasion of his acceptance speech to announce that both of his daughters are "available." And the commentary is that there's something wrong with women. Okay.
You know, if women are "psychos" (nice disablism there, buddy), maybe there's a reason for it. Like the fact that it's still considered acceptable for their fathers to treat them like chattel on a national stage. Just sayin'.
Last night, after the victory speech, [Brown's] family is up next to him, and his daughters were there. Now, I have three daughters, so I have a little bit of experience of saying and doing the wrong thing, with my— Every dad has done stupid things that, you get home, and your wife says [puts on cartoonish nagging female voice and babbles incoherently]. 'Cause guys just—I mean, you cannot figure women out. You can't, you don't know the psychosis that is chickdom. Psychosis! Guys, you can figure out. Food, sex—that's it. Feed me, make love to me, let me sleep. That's pretty much it. We're simple.[Commenting Guidelines: Disablist comments musing about Beck's psychological state or outright calling him crazy, nuts, deranged, delusional, unstable, a lunatic, in need of commitment, etc. are both unwelcome and not on-topic. I have a mental disorder, for example. It doesn't make me a lying rightwing dipshit.]
Women are psychos. I can't— There are times that I just walk into, uh, you know, um, you know what? I feel like, you know in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and he's running out and he's got the, um, you know, he's got the statue— "Throw me the statue!" "Throw me the whip!" And he throws the statue and the guy doesn't throw the whip…? And then he goes underneath the door and he sees the other guy impaled, you know what I mean? And he's like, "Oh, yeah. He shoulda thrown me the whip." Um, that's the way I think dads feel once in awhile if you have daughters—that you'll just all of a sudden step into it and just like whoosh! And you're impaled on the side of the cave. Am I right?
So, as a guy who has experienced that before, I understand. But I don't understand the thinking of Scott Brown last night, with his two daughters, and national TV audience, when he says this:[audio of Brown speaking] Just in case anybody who's watching throughout the country, yes, they're both available.Speaking of his daughters here.
