Hosted by Woodsy.
Question of the Day
What's your favorite snack food?
I'm not a very "snacky" person, but when I do get the urge to munch on something between meals, I prefer savory to sweet. Gimmie pumpkin seeds, or Pringles. (Especially salt & vinegar.)
Support for Death Penalty Waning
Just a quick one because I'm totes snowed under with work just now, but this put a happy smile on my face: American Law Institute drops support for capital punishment.
It's about time the US joined the rest of the Western democracies in dropping this barbaric practice from its justice system, and brought a little more justice into the system. It has far too long been used against society's marginalized people, in the US most notably black Americans and Americans with cognitive impairments and/or mental health issues. Illinois' governor imposed a moratorium on further executions in his state because he had come to believe there were insufficient safeguards to ensure an innocent person wasn't subjected to this irrevocable and most cruel punishment. It's good to see important legal bodies coming to the same conclusion.
My own opposition comes from this simple axiom: "It is better that ten guilty persons should go free, than that a single innocent should be falsely convicted." It seems to me this can only be more true for a punishment which can never be revoked, by its very nature. Until we achieve perfect wisdom, I cannot see how we can ever feel certain enough that a given human has done what they are accused of having done to impose a penalty which can never be undone. Bad enough to jail someone; inadequate though it is, compensation can be offered for a false imprisonment. How much blood money will we have to pay when we find out irrefutably that a person has been killed who simply did not do the crime?
Have at it, but be nice to one another in comments, or verily the mods will spank thee most righteously. That doesn't mean don't disagree. Shakesville has never been about silencing dissent. It means disagree respectfully. And don't feed the inevitable trolls, kthxbye.
Bread and Teaspoons Nineteen
Good morning (unless it isn't where you are, in which case I wish you Good $TIME_PERIOD), and welcome to this week's installment of Shakesville's networking post, Bread and Teaspoons*. My apologies for missing a couple of weeks - I ran into rather a fierce painstorm, which is now past, so I'm working on tidying up and rebuilding out of the wreckage.
This is a weekly post, usually Tuesdays, providing a spot for Shakers to network a little with one another, see if we can help each other out some.
Also remember, if you’re running or part of a small business, you’re encouraged to drop links here for that. I’m happy to see Shakers makin’ their own way in whatever manner that is.
Here's how it works: There should be four sorts of comments here.
1) You comment here with any details of work you're seeking: where, what, that sort of thing. You give an e-mail address at which you can be reached - feel free to set up a special e-mail for it, if you don't want to post your regular one for the world to spam - and if another Shaker has a lead, they can contact you directly to pass it along.
A work-seeking comment should include:
Please do NOT include information such as your full name or telephone number, as this is and will remain a public post, and once posted, there's no taking it back (because it'll be spidered by a search engine, not because we don't want you to).
It is explicitly alright to comment to this each week with similar info.
For example, I might post a comment saying:
I'm a professional translator of French, German and Russian, with nearly 17 years of experience. I'm looking for basically any translation job, academic, commercial, personal, genealogical, you name it, with one exception: I do not currently have certification, so if you need a certified translator (usually for legal docs: birth certificates, divorce decrees, wills), you need someone else.
I am also available as a writer or editor, for academic, journalistic, creative, marketing-oriented or any other type of written communication. Basically, if you'll pay me, I'll write or edit it. My company website is found here.
You can contact me for business purposes through my business address, cait@cogitantes.net.
2) The second type of comment would be task offering: if you've got a job you think might suit someone here, consider posting it as a comment. Use the same guidelines as above: give general information here, and specific information when you exchange e-mails. An offered task might look something like this:
I have a doctoral thesis which needs proofing and editing by Thursday, is anyone available? You can reach me at ABDShaker@shakesville.miskatonic.edu.
3) The third kind of comment I'd love to see is success stories! We’d love to know when this works out, and people actually find some employment through our efforts. If you feel like sharing, tell us how it worked out for you. :)
**NEW CATEGORY ADDED**
4) If you’re a progressive working for or running a small business and would like to include a pointer to your business, you may do so. If you’ve never otherwise posted before here (i.e., you’re a lurker), I may check in with you to be certain you’re a Shaker and not a spammer. If it turns into a spamfest, or we start getting businesses that are of dubious progressive credentials, we may need to revisit this one, but let’s give it a try.
So, that's what we'd like to see.
What we do NOT want to see:
So there. Have at it, Shakers, for Bread and Teaspoons!
Important disclaimers: Shakesville makes no endorsement or claim as to the capabilities of anyone commenting to this post, and anyone considering hiring someone should be prepared to treat it like any other business situation: DO YOUR DUE DILIGENCE. We're not doing any screening of this, so you'll want to make sure you check references, use safe-payment procedures (e.g., ask for a deposit), all the things you'd do when working with any stranger on the Internet. While this is intended for Shakers in general, remember that there is no real obstacle to being able to comment here, and do the things you need to do to keep yourself safe.
* As might be evident, this is an intentional reference to Bread and Roses, a longtime slogan of the left. In this case, though, my hope is that if we achieve steady bread, we will use it to power our teaspoon use.
The last several Bread and Teaspoons: Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen.
Blog Note
I'm taking a personal day. Nothing serious; just call it a restoring equilibrium day. See you tomorrow.
Question of the Day
Was there ever a time when you were a kid that your parent(s) got a totally—and hilariously—wrong idea of you or something you were up to? Like, say, having teh sex (when you totes weren't) or worshiping the debil?
This question arises from a conversation Deeky and I were having earlier today about times our parents got the wrong idea for various reasons. Mama Shakes loves to tell the story (and has in comments here before) about the time she found a baggie containing some pills tucked between the cushions of the sofa in the basement area that my friends and I hung out in while I was in high school. And instead of just asking me what it was—presumably because if I were a druggie I'd be a liar, too (lol)—she drove to another town (lol) where there would be no chance of being recognized (lol) to ask a pharmacist if zie could identify the pills. And she was perplexedly informed that she was in possession of a dose of over-the-counter anti-diarrheal meds. Scandalous!
Jesus Makes Another Fabulous Appearance
[Content Note: Image of bruise below.]
Sure, Jesus could play the Palladium, as they say, but why lower himself to such a gauche public venue when he can book the very exclusive engagement of a bruise on some lady's arm?
"The Lord works in mysterious ways." I'll say!
Male Anchor: A South Florida woman says she went to the doctor and came home with something she says really strengthens her faith.[Holy folks Gone Wild: Weeping and bleeding and appearing in Cheetos, more Cheetos, pretzels, fire and on pancakes, baking sheets, pizza pans, doggy doors, ice, peanuts, x-rays, turtles, ultrasounds, chocolate, dying plants, sheet metal, trees, more trees, more trees, more trees, more trees, more trees, wardrobes, water stains, plates of pasta, drywall, fish, grilled cheese sandwiches, potato chips, a bathroom door, and a banana.]
Female Anchor: Mary Massa had a routine blood test, and after two needle sticks, she says, the bruise in [sic] her arm looks like the face of Jesus Christ. [Male anchor laughs.] Take a look at that—you be the judge. Pictures of that bruise are now posted throughout the doctor's office.
Male Anchor: Mary is a Christian—surprise—who's [female anchor laughs] so devout she has pictures of Jesus already hanging at home, and she once shook hands with the Pope.
Female Anchor: Now, in her defense, Mary did not want to say anything about it [Edit and note from Liss: This is not literal; it's that Mary didn't want to make a big deal out of it. But in the video, there is a clip of Mary, being happily interviewed, and showing where the bruise was and showing pictures of it.]; it was the people at the doctor's office who were so convinced it looked like Jesus Christ. I have to say, I can kinda see a face in that bruise. Could you see it?
Male Anchor: You can always see something in there! But—
Female Anchor: Yeah.
Male Anchor: —there's so many things out there. Potato chips and waffles and—
Female Anchor: Maybe it's a New Year's miracle!
Male Anchor: I, you know, you can see something there. I didn't mean to make fun, but—
And I Was Worried About Being Grounded at the Airport...
I spent last week in Ohio visiting my parents. As a Christmas present, my brother had sent Mom Windows 7 for her computer, and my mission, should I choose to accept it, was to install it for her. I was going to do it in the afternoon, but I decided to put it off until after we got back from the movies and dinner. So when we got home around 9:00, I started doing it, and it ground away, telling me that the upgrade would take “several hours.” I was in Mom’s little study, and after a while my folks went to bed. I was writing away on my own computer, checking occasionally as her computer re-booted every so often. Around 11 Dad came out of their bedroom in his pajamas and said, “When are you going to bed?” I had an immediate flashback to being 15 and being busted for sneaking down to watch “Mission: Impossible” on Sunday nights.
You are always 15 to your parents, even when the three of you go to the movies and you all get senior citizen discounts.
Film Corner!
Today's selection is Remember Me. Or, as I like to call it, The Emo Prince and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Existential Crisis.
Emo Prince (aka Robert Pattinson) in pictured on elevated train, looking mardy. He says in voiceover: "Gandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant." Emo Prince sees street fight and jumps in to help victim. "But it's very important that you do it." Emo Prince and his friend are getting arrested and a girl says, "Officer, those two were just trying to stop it." Grumpy Cop (aka Chris Cooper) says, "Go home!" Emo Prince says, "Hey!" and grabs at Grumpy Cop for some undiscernible reason, and Grumpy Cop throws Emo Prince to the pavement. Fascist! Emo Prince says in voiceover: "I tend to agree with the first part." Emo Prince is tres emo.
Emo Prince is bailed out of jail by his dad, Pompous Suit Guy (aka Pierce Brosnan). Pompous Suit Guy says in raspy New York (?) accent: "You could do worse than to have a father who bails you outta jail." Emo Prince says, "I don't want to be bailed out of anything!" Emo Prince turns to leave. Emo Prince is tres emo.
Emo Prince is in the park with his little sister, as emo guitar music begins to play. The Emo Princess says: "Why do you think Dad doesn't want to spend time with me?" Pompous Suit Guy says, "She knows I'll take care of her. That's all there is, Tyler." Emo Prince says, "That's all there is? Not enough!" Emo Prince turns to leave. Emo Prince is tres emo.
Text onscreen: "He broke the rules."
Emo Prince is in the corporate waiting room of Pompous Suit Guy, Inc. Receptionist Lady tells him, "You know you can't smoke in here." Emo Prince gestures to a square glass bowl. "Why, why do you have an ashtray?" Receptionist Lady tells him, "It's a bowl! It completes the room!" Emo Prince stubs out his cigarette in the bowl. Emo Prince says, "I guess it was just here to tease me." Emo Prince pats the bowl and turns to leave. Emo Prince is tres emo.
Text onscreen: "He had lost his way."
Emo Prince stares out a dirty window. (No, I am not shitting you.) Comic Relief Pal says, "You've been a ghost the past couple of weeks. You don't want to go out anymore. I've had enough of this introvert stuff, okay?! I'm ready to set up an intervention here!" Emo Prince snort-laughs.
Text onscreen: "Until the moment."
Manic Pixie Dream Girl (aka Emilie de Ravin) gets out of a truck. "He has got A DAUGHTER!" declares Comic Relief Pal. "Who's got a daughter?" asks Emo Prince, not even looking up from his journal in which he's writing on his bed. (No, I am not shitting you.) "The cop that busted your face all up!" explains Comic Relief Pal, as we see images of Manic Pixie Dream Girl and Grumpy Cop at home, all domestic and shit. "He's got a daughter." Cut to Emo Prince and Comic Relief Pal checking out Manic Pixie Dream Girl on campus. "I know her, " says Emo Prince. "She's in my global politics class." Comic Relief Pal tells Emo Prince, "Go get 'er!" Emo Prince walks toward her table; cut to Manic Pixie Dream Girl telling him, "I don't date sociology majors." Emo Prince says, "Lucky for you, I'm, I'm undecided." Manic Pixie Dream Girl asks, incredibly, "About what?" despite the fact she just mentioned majors. Emo Prince replies, "Everything." Manic Pixie Dream Girl licks her lips and grins. (No, I am not shitting you.)
Text onscreen: "He let someone in."
Emo Prince and Manic Pixie Dream Girl are in a restaurant. Manic Pixie Dream Girl asks the server, "What desserts do you have?" Emo Prince looks all emo. Manic Pixie Dream Girl explains, "I have my dessert first." OMG, you guys, that is so Manic Pixie Dream Girl!
Back at Emo Prince's shitty apartment, Manic Pixie Dream Girl does some vague cute thing and Emo Prince smiles. He pulls out something covered by a lampshade for her. "What is that?" asks Manic Pixie Dream Girl. "This," says Emo Prince, pulling off the lampshade to reveal a cake with "In case of Asteroids" written on it in icing, "is our appetizer." Manic Pixie Dream Girl looks swoonful. Cut to Comic Relief Pal commenting, "That's why chicks dig you, man. They love this freaky, poetic crap." Oh, Comic Relief Pal! What an unsentimental card you are!
Pompous Suit Guy is told, "Charles, it's your son," and he puts him on speaker. Emo Prince, on the other end of the phone, says, "Yeah, I was wondering if you want to have dinner." Pompous Suit Guy asks, "How many?" Emo Prince, staring at Manic Pixie Dream Girl looking all manically pixie-ish in an apartment window totes not noticing Emo Prince staring up at her, replies, "Three." Cut to the restaurant where Emo Prince and Manic Pixie Dream Girl are at an otherwise empty table. "He can stand me up, but he can't stand you up," says Emo Prince.
One gets the impression Pompous Suit Guy may have stood them both up, as the next scene is of Emo Prince throwing a huge metal canister through a window.
Cut to Pompous Suit Guy shouting, "You've gotta take care of NOTHING! You're responsible for NO ONE! You're a kid!" Emo Prince looks emo.
Text onscreen: "Summit Entertainment Presents."
Manic Pixie Dream Girl tells Grumpy Cop, "I'm going out." Grumpy Cop asks her who's she going out with. Manic Pixie Dream Girl tells him, "A boy from school." Cut to Emo Prince in their house, and Grumpy Cop telling him he's kinda lost. Emo Prince says (I shit you not), "You think you know me. You don't." Grumpy Cop runs at him and pins him to the wall. Cut to Manic Pixie Dream Girl telling Emo Prince, "My dad doesn't know what's going on right now." Emo Prince asks, "What's going on right now?"
Various scenes of kissing, doors slamming, Emo Prince riding a bike, Emo Prince blowing out candles on a cake saying "22," close-ups of Emo Prince, Manic Pixie Dream Girl, Grumpy Cop, and Pompous Suit Guy, more making out, and Emo Prince (I shit you not) making a hand butterfly in the sunshine.
Emo Prince says in voiceover: "Someone's been trying to tell me something. Make her yours forever. I'm working on the forever part."
Text onscreen: "Remember Me. Coming Soon."
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
Strips One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96. In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman and a biracial queerbait telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.
News from Shakes Manor
Email edition.
Iain: If a rockabilly named 'Rocky' was seated in a rocking chair atop a giant rocket playing classic rock anthems on Rock Band while toking on a giant rock, this person would not rock as much as you!
Liss: LOL! I'm totes posting that.
If Iain were authoring a book called, approximately, Secrets to a Happy Partnership, I'm pretty sure Chapter One would be "Find new and funny and creative ways to say 'I love you' all the time." And it wouldn't be bad advice at all.
Monday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by Shaxco, makers of the Deeky Brand Buttplug, for huge assholes.
Recommended Reading:
Marcella: Carnival Against Sexual Violence 85
Anonymous Afghan Woman: I Am For Sale, Who Will Buy Me?
Sean: Being Polite and Being Right
Andy: HIV Travel Ban Lifted; First Traveler to Arrive at JFK Today
Renee: Obama Effigy Hung In Jimmy Carter's Hometown
Kathy: Church to Spend $232K to Build Giant Cross
Anna: Happy World Braille Day!
Echidne's got three that are a matched set: The New York Times Hates Women, Part I; The New York Times Hates Women, Part II; TRIGGER WARNING: Just A Crime Of Passion. TRIGGER WARNING.
Leave your links in comments...
Holy Crap
It takes a certain amount of guts -- or chutzpah -- to go on national television and lecture someone about how to turn their life around, but that's what Brit Hume did yesterday to Tiger Woods on Fox News.
Brit Hume: Tiger Woods will recover as a golfer. Whether he can recover as a person, I think is a very open question, and it's a tragic situation, in my—he's lost his family; it's not clear to me that, whether he'll be able to have a relationship with his children. But the, but the Tiger Woods that emerges, once the news value dies outta this scandal, uh, the extent to which he can recover, it seems to me, depends on his faith. He's said to be a Buddhist. I don't think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. So my message to Tiger would be, "Tiger, turn your faith—turn to the Christian faith, and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world."I suspect that Mr. Hume is going to find out a great deal about Buddhism in the next few days. And when you can visibly embarrass William Kristol, the conversation is officially over.
Bill Kristol: Well, Brit's concerned about Tiger's soul, which is admirable; I just made a more straightforward sports prediction [laughter] which is that he'll come back and win the Masters. Because, you know, he's still an awfully good golfer, despite the chaos and, uh, um, bad news about his personal life. [Transcript via Liss.]
Today in Intersectional Bigotry
So, one of the things I don't like about our Xbox 360 is that I can't make my avatar look like me, because, like most avatar generators, it won't actually allow me to make my avatar as fat as I am. The idea being, I guess, that people who look like me are meant to be ashamed of themselves, so self-loathing they don't want to look like themselves in real life, no less in a virtual world, and that no one who looks like me would be content with how they look or confident enough to represent themselves accurately or something.
Anyway, so I've always wanted Microsoft to give me the ability to make a fat avatar that really looks like me.
But this is not what I had in mind:
Microsoft has shown a keen interest in boosting the Xbox 360's status as a community hub. Leading this initiative has been Xbox Live Avatars, which offer a 3D representation of their owners on the online service. Now, Microsoft is contemplating tying real-world health and psychological data to said avatars in an effort to discourage many-a-gamer's sedentary lifestyle.Okay, let's stop right there. Aside from fat-hating, I would like to note how gob-smackingly disablist this has the potential to be. Just on the most cursory, simplistic level, this has the "I assume every fat, disabled person I see is disabled because they're fat, and don't consider the possibility they're fat because they're disabled" problem about which I've written before. (Which I stress is only the tip of the iceberg as concerns disablism here.)
Last week, Microsoft's patent application titled "Avatar Individualized by Physical Characteristic" popped up in the US Patent and Trademark Offices' online database. The filing details a way in which Microsoft can introduce a heightened degree of reality into the appearance of gamers' avatars by utilizing a third-party health-care data repository (Microsoft gives Health Vault as an example) or a Wii Vitality Sensor-like device.
To incentivize people to improve their physical well-being, Microsoft's filing notes that gamers will be locked out of certain components of a game or a chat room until the proper health parameters are met.
"Physical data that reflects a degree of health of the real person can be linked to rewards of capabilities of a gaming avatar, an amount of time budgeted to play, or a visible indication," the filing reads. "Thereby, people are encouraged to exercise."
"For example, a locally executed video game on a game console or other device capable of interactive play rewards players that have achieved a degree of health or athletic skill in real life, even if played in a solitary fashion," the filing reads. "Alternatively or in addition, the degree of health can unlock additional playing time or can unlock certain aspects of a game, such as additional levels."
Naturally, it gets worse:
Microsoft's filing goes on to note that it wouldn't just be physical characteristics that could be refined. "The physical characteristics can be further extended to psychological traits associated with the physical person, including intelligence, religious beliefs, political affiliations, and hobbies that affect the rendering of an avatar," the application reads.So, if you're looking for me online, put out an APB for a fatty with a giant brain, two feminist fists, and a Jesus-shaped hole in her heart (as my conservative Christian correspondents are fond of telling me I have), wielding a pink laptop emblazoned with a feminazi cooter. I'll probably be playing Peggle.
[H/T to Shaker Napalmnacey.]
