Commenting Policy


Required Reading Before Commenting: Everything in the Feminism 101 section, all links below, and "More." Please familiarize yourself with Shakesville's Email Policy before emailing. See also: Cookies and Data Notice.

Short Rules: Be kind. Be thoughtful. Be open to correction in response to unintentional expressions of privilege. No downvoting. No using the reply function. Respect the mods. Hold yourself to the same standards you hold the contributors and other commenters. Have fun. And expect to get whatever you give: If you respect the guidelines and the community culture, you'll get the same in return.

Commenters should read the entirety of any post and existing comments before commenting. We make this request because clarifications about the post and moderation regarding what is on- or off-topic is done in-thread, and commenters who value the safe space provided by the moderation here must play their part in making sure they're not increasing moderation demands by entering a thread with concerns which have already been addressed or in a way that has already been set off-limits.

The Long Rules, below, are not optional reading. Make sure you read and understand them before commenting.



Commenter Safety: Please know that we do everything we can to respect and maintain commenters' privacy and safety in this space. Your comments will never be posted to the main page without your express permission, and any personal information visible to moderators will never be shared. We are happy to help if you want to provide your email address with an explicit request to be connected with another amenable commenter. (Occasionally, for example, Shakers in the same area will both contact the blogmistress in order to facilitate a meeting.) The moderator account is clearly marked.

Please also be advised that this is a public space, and we cannot control external exploitation of comments. Sometimes, the people who harass Melissa McEwan and/or the other contributors and moderators will screen cap comments and repost them in other spaces. We deeply regret that affiliation with this space and the people who create and manage it may expose other people to abuse, but we want to make clear that this is a possibility.



Culture: This is an advanced feminist space. We don't do newbie education on demand here, and we don't do flamewars with people who treat discussion of progressive feminist ideals as an abstract academic exercise or want to play "devil's advocate." If you have a question, ask it in the daily Open Thread, with the hope but not expectation that someone will be around who has the time and inclination to answer it and engage in discussion with you.

Participation here requires that you respect and remember that this space is built and its content authored by individual people. In a space dedicated to social justice, we believe it is important to center the humanity of both its users and its architects.

Moderators are members of this community. Every single person who serves as a moderator for Shakesville (besides Melissa McEwan) started out as a commenter — a commenter who valued this community so much that they're willing to volunteer no small amount of their time to maintain it. Respecting the individual humanity of the contributors and moderators at Shakesville, as well as their right to participate as community members as well as gatekeepers, is not optional. The people who invest the most in this community are not required to withdraw from personal participation as a cost of their investment.

These are important pieces to read to understand the culture and expectations of the community: One. Two. Three. Four. Five.



Content Notes: Content Notes, indicating where potentially troubling or triggering material may be found in a post, will be provided where applicable. We make a good faith effort to identify content associated with common triggers, e.g. violent imagery or slurs, and sensitive subject matter, but please be advised that we cannot predict every reader's individual needs.

Content Notes are provided to give readers the option to assess whether they've got the spoons (pdf) to process material that is potentially triggering to them. The provision of Content Notes is an exchange in which readers must participate: We communicate the information, and readers must assess their own immediate capacity to process content in the noted categories, then proceed accordingly.

Commenters are also asked to make a similar good faith effort to note potentially troubling or triggering content in comments, as has become community habit.



Disqus Commenting at Shakesville: The latest iteration of the Disqus system (2013) has some features which are not very compatible with the community format for this space. In response, members of the community are requested to be aware of and observe the following:

1. Vote Up, Not Down. Upvotes are encouraged so that community members can see that their comments were valuable to others. Downvotes, however, are prohibited, as we share a lot of personal stuff here and downvoting will, in many cases, serve as negative policing of someone else's lived experiences. Thus, we do not allow downvoting.

(If you accidentally downvote someone else's comment, you can undo it by clicking the down arrow a second time.)

Naturally, because there are always people who willfully disregard the rules of this space, sometimes comments will get downvotes by people deliberately trying to stir trouble. This would definitely be a problem if we were the humorless feminists we are oft accused of being — but we are not! We are and always have been stronger, wittier, and more creative than anyone who tries to get us down!

So, in recognizing that the only people doing downvoting are misogynist heapshits who flagrantly violate our commenting guidelines, we recognize downvotes as Feminist Experience Points! "Congratulations — you said something so awesome that a pathetic wreck with nothing better to do expended energy on giving you a Feminist Experience Point!" No need to feel bad about a downvote, Shakers — it's just evidence that you're LEVELING UP!

2. Sort Comments by Oldest. To ensure that you're reading comments in chronological order, which is necessary to follow the conversation and understand in-thread moderation, make sure you sort comments "by Oldest," using the sorting drop-down box under the Disqus response box.

3. Don't Use the Reply Function. The new Disqus "nests" (or indents) comment replies rather than sending replies down to the bottom of the page. Nested comments can be difficult to navigate for people with visual processing disorders and makes moderation more difficult. For that reason, in order to maintain flat threads, we ask that people avoid using the reply function. Instead, you can use the @[handle] alternative. If you are on a mobile device and the @ notification doesn't automatically work, you can create it manually using @[handle]:disqus.

4. Read Before Commenting. Even though Disqus has moved and fixed the comment composition box at the top of comments, as always, please read any thread in its entirety before commenting, so you are aware of any in-thread moderation.

5. No GIFs. Some GIFs can trigger tonic clonic (convulsive) seizures in people with photosensitive epilepsy. They can also make threads difficult to navigate for people with visual processing disorders. For these reasons, please do not post GIFs in comments.



Guidelines: Comments are open to anyone as long as they don't troll and/or traffic in racist, misogynist, homophobic, transphobic, gender essentialist, ableist, ageist, sizeist, or otherwise objectionable commentary based on people's intrinsic characteristics and/or identities.

There are some extremely common ableist words that are routinely used as part of our discourse, including but not limited to: Idiot, moron, crazy, insane, lunatic, batshit, lame, dumb, fuckwit, derp, and all variations on -tard. Please do not use these words in comments. Instead, say what you mean.

Also off-limits: Hate speech, slurs, rape apologia, rape jokes and metaphors, violent imagery and rhetoric, threats, trolling, concern trolling, derailing, playing the Oppression Olympics, pointless belligerence, sockpuppeting, silencing tactics, accusations of bad faith, disrespecting the mods, including ignoring them, telling contributors what they should be writing about or how they should be writing about it, and/or invoking the [CN: disablism, self-harm, and sexual violence] blogmistress' personal experience to use against her, or doing the same to any of the contributors, mods, or other commenters.

Engaging in these behaviors could result in any of the following: Your comment edited to remove offending material, your comment replaced with an incredibly sophomoric paraphrase, your comment deleted, and/or your commenting privileges revoked.

(Wondering why your comment was deleted? This primer may be useful: "Hey, Why Was My Comment Deleted?")

If you leave a comment that obliges a response from the moderators and/or other commenters, and then delete that comment, it may be republished to provide context. Contributors are accountable for every word we leave in this space. Commenters should hold themselves to the same standard. That means we all must be thoughtful about what we're posting and must be willing to be accountable for those words. If the mods are to be trusted to remove comments that keep other people unsafe, we must be allowed to restore comments to keep ourselves safe.

Differences of opinion and criticism are welcome; no one has ever been nor will ever be banned on a difference of opinion alone, and criticism happens all the time here.

However, bad faith masked as disagreement or criticism is not allowed.

It is eminently possible to bring a mistake to my attention, or the attention of another contributor or commenter, and/or to register a disagreement, without engaging in ad hominem attacks, using silencing tactics, jumping to unfounded conclusions about allegedly reprehensible motives, or in some other way accusing me (or anyone else) of acting in bad faith. Failing explicit evidence I have acted to the contrary, I expect to be afforded the benefit of the doubt that I move and act in this space with good faith — which does not mean treating me as though I never fuck up, but treating me as someone who has and has positively responded to criticism in that event. I believe I have earned that after nine years.

The other contributors have earned it, too.

If you are unwilling to extend good faith to the contributors to this space, you make it an unsafe space for us, and your commenting privileges will be revoked as a result.

Being banned from Shakesville is not an invitation to take your issues to the email inbox of Liss and/or any of the other contributors or mods.

Whether you can comment at Shakesville is ultimately at our discretion — and plaintive, angry, or accusatory wailing about free speech will be met with yawning indifference. This isn't a public square. This is a safe space. At least as safe as we can make it.

Disagreement is absolutely allowed in this space — even the other contributors/mods and I don't always agree on everything! However, disagreement must still abide by the policies laid out in this document. If a comment including disagreement is deleted, it is because the comment does not meet the standards for commenting. This may be because it contains something obvious, like a slur, or it may be because it employs narratives of oppression or silencing tropes or some other content that isn't allowed.

Please note that, if you do register disagreement with a contributor, moderator, or other commenter, we may disagree back! That doesn't mean disagreement isn't allowed. It means that we don't have any obligation to greet disagreement with passive acquiescence.

Also note: Challenging another person's lived experiences is not "disagreement." Auditing other people's lived experiences through a validity prism is oppression, not disagreement.

This blog is meant to be a refuge from the entire rest of the world where people who deviate in some way from arbitrary norms are ridiculed, marginalized, turned into punchlines, silenced, targeted, treated as less than, made to feel not good enough, put at real risk of physical harm, and denied rights, opportunities, access, equal pay, friendships, votes, equality.

We're all going to make mistakes occasionally — and for that, we need to make allowances. Everyone trips up now and then, even with the best of intentions, which is why we are resolved to endeavor always to be aware of our privilege, and, in moments of failure, remain open to criticisms and suggestions, think twice before responding defensively, and apologize when we fuck up.

We also expect the same of those who want membership in the community — which includes addressing others' mistakes in a productive and considered way, because no one is expected to be perfect. Everyone is expected to be willing to self-examine and learn, and therefore everyone must be willing to provide the space, the room to breathe, in which that reflection and growth can happen. A failure to support the provision of room to fail is a failure to respect the rules of the safe space.

And everyone is expected to respect the rules.

If you take issue with a blogmistress who wants her teensy weensy part of the world to be a sanctuary from the oppressions of the kyriarchy, if you feel that impinges on your freedoms, then off you go. You've got an entire world waiting who won't hold you to the same standard.

We expect more.



Final Note: Commenters are asked to remember that the blog looks very different from "the front" (commentariat) than it does from "the back" (contributors and moderators). We have an entirely different perspective, by virtue of having a view of the big picture of commenting.

We see all the filtered and deleted comments; we see when banned commenters are sock-puppeting; we see when traffic is arriving from other sites in a coordinated shit-stirring attack; we know the patterns of commenters who will be trouble; we can access commenters' whole commenting history; we are often aware that commenters who would appear to other commenters to be a solid community member are viciously trashing Shakesville or specific person(s) in other spaces and/or on social media; we have often had personal email exchanges with commenters; etc.

The way we interact with certain commenters may not always seem fair, because the view from comments doesn't fully inform all our interactions with commenters. I ask you to bear in mind that what might look "unfair" to you is almost certainly a necessary bit of moderation to maintain the safe space.

We deeply value our commenters. Usually, what looks the most like our being "mean" is our fiercely protecting this community.

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Contributors

Melissa McEwan is the founder and editor-in-chief of Shakesville, which she launched as Shakespeare's Sister in October 2004 because George Bush was pissing her off. She is the very model of a modern major misandrist. You can find her on Twitter at @shakestweetz.

Email Liss. Before contacting Liss, please familiarize yourself with Shakesville's Email Policy.


Aphra Behn is a feminist, gardener, historian, dog lover, and casual runner. Her roots are in the U.S. Midwest and Canadian Maritimes. She is not a dead 17th century playwright, although she enjoys a good breeches role every now and again.


Fannie Wolfe has been writing about feminism, politics, LGBT issues, and pop culture since 2007, most often at Fannie's Room, but also at several sites now in blog heaven, including Grace the Spot, Our Big Gayborhood, and Family Scholars Blog. When not writing, she can be found plotting the intersectional feminist takeover of the universe, jumping into volcanoes, and coordinating the recruitment effort of the lesbian branch of the Gay Mafia. She Twitters at @fanniesroom.


Kate Forbes, aka eastsidekate, lives on the north side. After getting a PhD in Zoology, she spent three years as an assistant professor of environmental science before ending up in IT. In addition to writing at Shakesville, she fails to maintain two personal blogs, A Cunt of One's Own, and Duck, Duck, Gay Duck. She is an unrepentant evangelist of stale coffee, Jell-O salad, and pickled everything.


Maud, whose real name was Mary Quinn, is a former contributor to Shakesville who died in November of 2010. Maud was a gifted writer, and a spectacular moderator, who had a way of conveying the principles of the space, and defending its boundaries, with fierceness, eloquence, and wit. Her posts and comments routinely made us weep with laughter, and invigorated everyone who had the privilege of reading them with their reverberating insight. We will miss her always.


Mustang Bobby is a writer and blogger who looks at the world with dry bemusement and tries to get through life without bumping into the furniture. In addition to Shakesville, his work can be read at his own blogs, Bark Bark Woof Woof and Bobby Cramer, and at the literary group blog The Practical Press.


Teh Portly Dyke is 50-something, 5 ft. (in shoes), 155 lbs. Pretty handy with a thesaurus, says "fuck" a lot. A founding Member of the Lesbian Grand Council and licensed distributor for Titty-Wrap Hugs, Inc.[twh]., her super-power is Occasional Fits of Pique and her aliases include Chatty Cathy, Troll-Bane, Ms. Deity, The Right Reverend, and Kwisatz Fatterach.


Guest Blogger: Shakesville regularly features guest posts by a variety of bloggers. If you're interested in guest blogging at Shakesville, please email Liss with your request.

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Happy New Year!

Well, 2009 was a helluva year, wasn't it? I can't say I'm sad to see the back of it. But you know what I always say: Onward, Shakers! We must always remember that when our teaspooning arms start to hurt, it's just the muscles gettin' bigger!



The Radical Gay Secular Feminazi Cooter Agenda isn't going to promulgate itself, people.

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Open Thread



Hosted by a Space Pod.

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime

ABBA: Happy New Year

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2010

Welcome to the Year of the Giant Space Baby, Shakers.

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The New Year's Eve Virtual Pub Is Open



Thanks for a great year, Shakers.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o' auld lang syne

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely ye'll be your pint-stoup!
And surely I'll be mine!
And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

We twa hae run about the braes,
and pou'd the gowans fine;
But we've wander'd mony a weary fit,
Sin' auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl'd in the burn,
frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar'd
Sin' auld lang syne.

And there's a hand, my trusty fiere!
And gies a hand o' thine!
And we'll tak a right gude-willie-waught,
for auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

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WTF

[Trigger warning.]

Father and 12-year-old daughter booked after fake kidnapping prank:

A Lacombe man and his daughter hatched an unusual practical joke to entertain themselves as they drove down Interstate 12: tie the girl's hands, duct-tape her mouth and watch the startled expressions as their fellow drivers noticed the apparent kidnapping in progress.

...Tim Williams, 45, was returning to St. Tammany Parish with his 12-year-old daughter after picking her up from his ex-wife at the Texas state line Wednesday afternoon when the two came up with the idea, St. Tammany Parish Sheriff's Office spokesman Cpl. Sean Beavers said. During the stunt, duct-tape was used to bind the girl's hands and cover her mouth, Beaver said.

...It's unclear when the two first started the stunt, but at least three motorists called 9-1-1 to report an abduction after seeing the girl bound and gagged in the front seat of the pickup about 3:50 p.m. as the vehicle passed the Louisiana 1077 exit on I-12, Beavers said. Deputies rushed to the highway as several motorists surrounded the truck in an attempt to keep the supposed kidnapper from getting away, he said.

The patrol cars caught up with Williams at the Louisiana 59 exit and learned it was all a prank when they pulled Williams over, Beavers said.

Because of the severity of the situation, Williams was booked into the St. Tammany Parish jail in Covington with criminal mischief and contributing to the delinquency of a minor before being released later in the day on a $3,000 bond. His daughter, who was not identified because she is a juvenile, was cited for criminal mischief and released to the care of an uncle, Beavers said.

"Their lives were put in danger as well as the lives of the general public," Beavers said. "Anything could have happened over that prank. That's why we felt he needed to go to jail for that, too many lives were put in danger to let him go on his way."
First, the good news: Multiple people called police, and some of them risked their own safety (or thought they were, anyway) by boxing in the vehicle in which they thought a real kidnapping was taking place. That's the kind of thing that restores one's faith in humanity, you know?

And I don't know about anyone else, but my faith sure as shit needs restoring when I read about a father who thinks faking a kidnapping with his daughter to fool unsuspecting motorists is a fun idea. Lordy begordy.

I'm also curious as to how it was ascertained that the situation was a prank. I mean, I'm sure the guy wasn't actually kidnapping his daughter (because that's easily confirmed), but how do they know for sure the kidnapping prank story wasn't created to explain something actually nefarious going on, like Dad punishing his daughter in a seriously fucked-up way? How do they know for sure they didn't merely interrupt an elaborate sexual assault...?

I guess they'd say because the daughter assured them otherwise, but that's the same daughter whose dad, at best, conceived of a kidnapping game in which she was bound and gagged. So maybe she has reason to lie, or maybe was coerced into lying, is all I'm saying. I really hope that the investigation is ongoing, and fear that it's not.

[H/T to Shaker Anitanola.]

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Convo Me

Deeky: Can you explain this to me?

Liss: Isn't that just a scene from The Last Starfighter? It looks like a Last Starfighter storyboard or something.

Deeky: LOL! WTF? The Last Starfighter? How would I know? I ain't seen that since I was twelve!

Liss: OMG how can you not remember EVERY FRAME of The Last Starfighter?! Jesus, you're an embarrassment to Generation X.

Deeky: I'm an embarrassment to everyone and everything.

Liss: "I'm going to go sit in the corner and eat wet cigarette butts."

Deeky: LOLOLOLOL!!! Yes, I am!

Liss: I think I've told you this before, but one of the funniest things KBlogz ever said was when he was like 4 years old, and his grandmother was yelling at him about some absurd abomination against god or another, and he replied, "I'm going to throw myself in the GARBAGE!" LOL. We still say that to this day.

Deeky: Yeah, that's an awesome story. I was just thinking about him last night. What's he? 19? Jebus, was he really born in 19fucking90? I feel so old. LOL!

Liss: He turned 20 this year. Born in '89. And yeah, that makes me feel ancient. Like a JUSTIFIED ANCIENT OF MU-MU!!!

Deeky: LOL! If it were anyone else, I'd say I couldn't believe you just made a Justified Ancients reference.

Liss: LOL! ROCK.

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Blog Note

Just a quick heads-up: I've got family coming in from out of town tomorrow, so posting will be light from me. There will, of course, be an open thread and some other little bits and pieces.

And, yes, there will be a virtual pub tonight for anyone who wants to ring in the New Year with other Shakers!

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Daily Kitteh

The Cats of Shakes Manor prepare for New Year's Eve:

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Quote of the Day

"I think we have got to get serious about catching terrorists, not just catching weapons. I'm waiting for the terrorist who knows kung fu or something that gets on an airplane without a weapon. God knows what that is going to be like."Chris Matthews, being uniquely, utterly absurd in his inimitable way.

Put this guy on the terrorist watch list immediately:


[Via John Cole, who gets the runner-up Quote of the Day with: "I hope you and your loved ones have a Happy New Year, even though we live under the grave threat of KUNG FU FIGHTING TERRORISTS!"]

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Today in Rape Culture

[Trigger warning.]

I have but one question for MTV about their decision to cast on the newest installment of The Real World an aspiring cartoonist whose preferred motif is sexual assault, frequently casting himself as a rapist: Did you never stop to consider that such "humor" could be a red flag, or were you actively hoping he'd rape one of his female roommates, because, like, that would be exactly the sort of controversy that totes awesome for your ratings...?

Once upon a time, I might have considered that an unfair question. But that was before you promoted another show with footage of one of its female participants getting punched in the face.

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Assvertising

Shaker Sho sends along the following example of Assvertising with the note, "I saw this on the subway today."


[If you can't view the image, it's a pair of subway posters for a new SpikeTV scripted comedy series about college football called "Blue Mountain State." One has an image of a blond white woman in crop-top and short-shorts "riding" a giant football, accompanied by the text: "It's all about the scoring." The other has an image of a giant upside-down football helmet with the disembodied legs of a white woman coming out of it, accompanied by the text: "College football's never been dirtier."]

The show is highlighted on Spike's website with the image of a naked white woman from behind, covering her ass cheeks with pompons.

Spike (also home to the KBlogz-reviewed "MANswers") bills itself as "TV for Men." If I were a man, I do believe I'd sue for defamation of character.

[Assvertising: Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Twenty-One, Twenty-Two, Twenty-Three, Twenty-Four, Twenty-Five, Twenty-Six, Twenty-Seven, Twenty-Eight, Twenty-Nine, Thirty, Thirty-One, Thirty-Two, Thirty-Three, Thirty-Four, Thirty-Five, Thirty-Six, Thirty-Seven, Thirty-Eight, Thirty-Nine, Forty, Forty-One, Forty-Two, Forty-Three, Forty-Four, Forty-Five, Forty-Six, Forty-Seven, Forty-Eight, Forty-Nine, Fifty, Fifty-One, Fifty-Two, Fifty-Three, Fifty-Four, Fifty-Five, Fifty-Six, Fifty-Seven, Fifty-Eight, Fifty-Nine, Sixty, Sixty-One, Sixty-Two, Sixty-Three, Sixty-Four, Sixty-Five, Sixty-Six, Sixty-Seven, Sixty-Eight, Sixty-Nine, Seventy, Seventy-One, Seventy-Two, Seventy-Three, Seventy-Four, Seventy-Five, Seventy-Six, Seventy-Seven, Seventy-Eight, Seventy-Nine, Eighty, Eighty-One, Eighty-Two, Eighty-Three, Eighty-Four, Eighty-Five, Eighty-Six, Eighty-Seven, Eighty-Eight, Eighty-Nine, Ninety, Ninety-One, Ninety-Two, Ninety-Three, Ninety-Four, Ninety-Five.]

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Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"



Blank

Strips One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95. In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman and a biracial queerbait telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.

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Everything Will Flow

For Deeks.

Watch the early morning sun
Drip like blood from the day
See the crazy people run
So many games to play
See the blue suburban dream
Under the jet plane sky
Sleep away and dream a dream
Life is just a lullaby

Ah hah oh
And everything will flow
Ah hah oh
You know everything will flow
Ah hah oh

Watch the day begin again
Whispering into the night
See the crazy people play
Hurrying under the light
A million cars, a million trains
Under the jet plane sky
Nothing lost and nothing gained
Life is just a lullaby

Ah hah oh
And everything will flow
Ah hah oh
I said everything will flow
Ah hah oh
You know everything will flow
Ah hah oh

[instrumental break]

Ah hah oh
And everything will flow
Ah hah oh
You know everything will flow

The neon lights in the night tonight will say
Everything will flow
The stars that shine in the open sky will say
Everything will flow
The lovers kissed with an openness will say
Everything will flow
The cars parked in the hypermarket know
Everything will flow...

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How Not To Help

This won't surprise those friends of mine who use wheelchairs, or whose partners or relatives do, but man it pissed me off.

We get to the airport yesterday, and I'm sore already. So my partner grabs a wheelchair when we arrive, and we go to the Southwest line to check in. I ask the woman what I need to do to check in, and she looks at me, then looks at my partner, and says to her, "Does she need to check in?"

I said "Excuse me, yes, I need to check in, where do I go?"

First time I've encountered the "crips are incompetent idiots" meme IRL. Not fun. I'm thinking of making an amusing t-shirt in response (silhouette of a person pushing another in a chair, with an arrow to the chair-user's head, saying "Decision-making apparatus found here").

Grr. Caitie smash. Rawr.

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Hmm

What do you suppose it is that makes Hawaii seem like a "foreign" and "exotic" place to the dodos inhabiting the cable news?

Do you think it's the almost other-worldly quality of its breathtakingly beautiful landscapes?


Or do you think it has more to do with the fact that Hawaii has a non-white majority, the highest percentage of Asian Americans and the highest percentage of multiracial individuals in any state, and a visible indigenous population, whom many white continental Americans cannot picture outside of a grass skirt?


It's a mystery.

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Selective Anger and Small Numbers

[Trigger warning.]

Two local (to me) stories in the news today about sexual assaults, which I happened to read almost back-to-back while just browsing the news last night:

1. Gary Man Charged with Molesting Girl, Fathering Her Children: "A Gary man charged Thursday for repeatedly molesting his underage blood relative and fathering her two children was allowed to adopt the girl despite being a convicted felon, Lake Criminal Court records show."

2. Man Charged with Rape of Woman with Cerebral Palsy: "A Southwest Side man was ordered held on $1 million bond Tuesday after being charged with the Christmas Day rape of a teenage cerebral palsy victim—the visiting relative of his girlfriend."

My heart shatters into a thousand pieces every time I read something like either one of these stories.

And I get angry.

Most people will share my anger about these two stories in particular. People who will contort themselves into impossible shapes to dismiss and deny rape in almost every conceivable circumstances will nonetheless be angry about children and young adults (especially disabled children and young adults) being raped by men meant to care about and protect them, because they (quite rightly) perceive such victims as vulnerable—and there's something uniquely despicable about raping someone vulnerable.

But here's the thing: Rapists always prey on the vulnerable. Victims are targeted specifically because they're vulnerable—whether because of youth, a physical disability, intoxication, isolation, incapacitation, a betrayable trust born of familiarity.

And we should be angry for all of them.

Instead we collectively have this selective anger, anger only on behalf of those who we can find no reason to blame for their own victimization, in our ongoing endeavor to deflect responsibility for the rape culture. We reserve our anger strictly for those who can't be scolded for "getting themselves into the situation," who can't be questioned about why they didn't "fight back," who can't be dismissed by one of the ready-made victim-blaming narratives about not drinking, not "dressing slutty," not being alone on a dark street, not trusting strangers...

And thus having failed utterly to pay any attention at all to their rapists—all those Great Guys left to be "great" to another victim, and another—we see only the rapists for whom we can find no excuse.

Which is a very small number indeed.

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What the Hell?



Shaker gogobooty.

Way to violate Leviticus 11:12.

[See also: Deeky, Liss, evilsciencechick, katecontinued, ClumsyKisses, Mistress Sparkletoes, Liiiz, Reedme, Mama Shakes, Mustang Bobby, RedSonja, MomTFH, Portly Dyke, SteffaB, Icca, Christina, Orangelion03, Car, Siobhan, InfamousQBert, Maud, Rikibeth, MishaRN, CLD, Cheezwiz, MamaCarrie, Temeraire, somebodyoranother, goldengirl, Liss (again), summerwing, yeomanpip, Susan811, bbl, Deeky (Part II), A Daily Shakesville Fan, Sami_J, liberalandproud, Temeraire: Redux, Mama Shakes II, Bonus Deeky, OuyangDan, J.Goff, Iain, Talonas, The Great Indoors, gogobooty, kiwi_a, em_and_ink, Tik_bev, phdintraining, Deeky Freakhands, busydani, Jenny Anne, rowmyboat, DesertRose, Steve/Pido, Anne Onymous, phredrika, The Last of the Famous International Deekys, Iain, Another Mustang Bobby, mkp-hearts-nyc, Arvan, Norbizness, Electrasteph, SteffaB, molliecat, Aestas, catvoncat, Filthy Grandeur, Shelly, Mighty Doll, IraeNicole, sevenhelz, the Shaker Halloween Special, Mistress Sparkletoes, Neilleast, NapalmNacey, Rowan_Bristol, ChelseaWantsOut, Phyllis, PlusSizedFeminist, Carleigh, SaltyKipper, and Quixotess.]

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