This blogaround brought to you by Shaxco, makers of Liss' Broken Records about the Rape Culture. Which make terrible stocking stuffers.
Recommended Reading:
Marcella: Carnival Against Sexual Violence 83
Meloukhia: Accommodation is Not "Special Treatment"
Kevin: Wisdom from Our Moral Betters in Washington
Wendi: Shopping with Squaws: Irregular Choice Gives Itself a Bad Name
Renee: The Washington Times Runs Another Racist Birther Ad
Tobes: Mad as Hell
Melissa: Crap Headline of the Day
Andy: Simone Bell is First Black Lesbian State Legislator Elected in Georgia and Evan Low Becomes Country's Youngest Openly Gay Mayor
Leave your links in comments...
Wednesday Blogaround
Today in Rape Culture
[Trigger warning.]
So, singer-songwriter Jason Mraz has a blog. It's a blog called "Freshness Factor Five Thousand," but its title is less relevant to this post than its subtitle, which is: "A Socially Conscious Site Swimmingly Serviced by Jason Mraz."
Mraz identifies himself and his blog space as "socially conscious" because he's an environmentalist and a vegan and a supporter of legalized weed.
His social consciousness does not, however, extend to refusing to participate in the rape culture, nor to being remotely concerned about triggering survivors among his readership as he waxes poetic about the French language:
Here in Paris, espresso is my pot, a chocolate croissant my ecstasy. The language itself is like a massage to my virgin ears, every twist of the tongue a temptation. The words are like whores luring me away to crave bad things. Even the common phrase from a man manages to rape my brain. Yet, it is all those things without the trauma or the drama. It's more like an interpretive dance. Yet, it is simply France. And being here feels as though the rest of the world never existed.The fact that he notes rape is inherently traumatic makes his casual use as a metaphor even worse than some ignorant fuck who's never stopped to consider what he's actually saying. Here, Mraz acknowledges the gravity of rape, but then suggests nonetheless that rape can exist as something pleasant and pleasurable, "without the trauma or the drama."
Mr. Mraz, let me explain to you what rape is, at least for me: Rape is nearly tearing out your fingernails by the roots trying to crawl away from someone who's pulling your pants down, and you can't decide if you should keep trying to get away or stop and pull your pants up. Rape is getting your face smashed against a stone fireplace, and leaving a piece of a tooth behind. Rape is being held down and feeling tears slip out the corners of your eyes and concentrating on that, the sensation of the cool tear trails, because you're being torn apart at your other end and it hurts, oh god how it hurts, but the pain is nothing compared to the indignity, the humiliation, the stupid and inexplicable embarrassment about what's happening to you.
Rape is struggling and resisting and succumbing and blaming yourself for not having escaped this fate, this feeling that your insides are being ripped out. Rape is desperately trying to stay inside your own head as your consciousness tries to flee from the horror of what's happening, is being aware of something severing and disassociating between your mind and your body and being unable (and worse, unwilling) to stop it, is feeling like the intangible thing that makes you a person is being irreparably broken.
Rape is being left in a pool of your own blood, thinking that death would be a relief from the pain and the shame and the utter, wretched brokenness of self you feel.
Rape is having lived longer as a survivor than I had a chance to live not as one. Rape is 20 years of post-traumatic stress disorder and counting. Rape is an indelible mark on my person that I struggle every day to give reason to, because letting it remain a senseless act is unbearable, and because pretending it didn't change me isn't honest.
That's what rape is to me, Mr. Mraz. It's different for different people, as you'd expect. The only thing I imagine all of us have in common among our stories is that none of us would compare being raped to listening to someone speak French.
So do us all a favor and don't make the comparison the other way 'round.
[H/T to Shaker Greta.]
------------------------------
Commenting Note: This thread is not a referendum on Mraz's work or popularity, and comments dismissing him on the basis of his talent—"He's a shitty singer, anyway."—or on the basis that he's not famous enough—"Who?"—are irrelevant, unhelpful, and will be considered off-topic. Comments about being a disappointed fan, or quoting lyrics, interviews, etc. reflecting a similar tone, are on-topic.
National Day of Action Against Stupak-Pitts
Today is the No Abortion Ban Day of National Action. Pro-choice organizations are working this week to remove Stupak-Pitts's (pdf) further reductions in reproductive health care access from the health care reform bill.
Here is an excerpt from Stop Stupak dot com's press release:
Broad Coalition Comes Together to Stop the Abortion Coverage Ban in Health Care ReformEmphasis mine.
Washington, DC -- Hundreds of women and men, patients, health care providers, students, religious and progressive leaders and Latina and African American advocates joined members of Congress at a Stop Stupak! event on Capitol Hill on Wednesday December 2. The event was part of the Coalition to Pass Health Care Reform and Stop Stupak! DC Lobby Day. The coalition, representing a broad group of advocacy organizations from the progressive and women's health communities, is sending a strong message to Congress that the anti-choice Stupak amendment and others like it must not be included in the final health care reform legislation. Specifically, the coalition is working to ensure that health care reform is passed and that it does not restrict women's ability to purchase private health insurance that covers comprehensive reproductive health care, including abortion care. The DC Lobby Day is part of the coalition's National Week of Action, from Monday November 30-Sunday, December 6.
The timing of the DC Lobby Day coincides with news that Senators Ben Nelson (D-NE) and Orrin Hatch (R-UT) are planning to introduce an amendment on the Senate floor that is nearly identical to the Stupak amendment, which goes beyond the provisions of Hyde and would effectively ban private health insurance coverage of abortion for millions of women. .
The National Organization of Women has a list of rallies happening across the country this week. The same link also has a grassroots petition, handouts, and tips for organizing your own protest.
If you can't get to D.C. or one of the other rallies across the nation this week, Planned Parenthood has a list of actions you can take online or by phone.
And here is NARAL's page of action items.
The ACLU has a press release out as well.
Happy teaspooning!
H/T Dr. Violet Socks
Today in Rape Culture
[Trigger warning.]
From the Nov. 27 edition of advice column Ask Amy:
Dear Amy: I recently attended a frat party, got drunk and made some bad decisions.Dear Amy: Rape culture is refusing to acknowledge that the only thing that the victim of every rapist shares in common is bad fucking luck. Rape culture is refusing to acknowledge that the only thing a person can do to avoid being raped is never be in the same room as a rapist. Rape culture is avoiding talking about what an absurdly unreasonable expectation that is, since rapists don't announce themselves or wear signs or glow purple.
I let a guy take me to "his" room because he promised that he wouldn't do anything I wasn't comfortable with. Many times, I clearly said I didn't want to have sex, and he promised to my face that he wouldn't. Then he quickly proceeded to go against what he "promised." I was shocked, and maybe being intoxicated made my reaction time a bit slow in realizing what was happening. We were soon kicked out of the room by the guy who lived there, who was pretty angry.
I guess my question is, if I wasn't kicking and fighting him off, is it still rape? I feel like calling it that is a bit extreme, but I haven't felt the same since it happened. Am I a victim?
-- Victim? in Virginia
Dear Victim?: First of all, thank you. I hope your letter will be posted on college bulletin boards everywhere.
Were you a victim? Yes.
First, you were a victim of your own awful judgment. Getting drunk at a frat house is a hazardous choice for anyone to make because of the risk (some might say a likelihood) that you will engage in unwise or unwanted sexual contact.
You don't say whether the guy was also drunk. If so, his judgment was also impaired.
...Go to your college's health department to be tested for STDs and pregnancy. See a counselor to determine how you want to approach this. You must involve the guy in question in order to determine what happened and because he absolutely must take responsibility and face the consequences for his actions, just as you are prepared to do. He may have done this before.
Rape culture is telling victims they were conspirators in their own rapes.
Rape culture is suggesting that rapists must be "involved" in determining whether they sexually assaulted their victims, as if rapists are not scheming predators but good guys who will totes be honest about having heard no...no...no...stop, as if hearing that and continuing to try to fuck someone could just be some kind of zany misunderstanding.
Rape culture is telling victims they must "face the consequences" of their actions, thus suggesting there may be a context in which rape is justifiable.
Rape culture is the fact that you still have a fucking job after unloading that heap of victim-blaming horseshit.
Contemptuously,
Liss
P.S. Also see Athenae.
[H/T to Shakers Socchan and Lauren.]
What the Hell?
Shaker Carleigh.
Deer meet headlights.
[See also: Deeky, Liss, evilsciencechick, katecontinued, ClumsyKisses, Mistress Sparkletoes, Liiiz, Reedme, Mama Shakes, Mustang Bobby, RedSonja, MomTFH, Portly Dyke, SteffaB, Icca, Christina, Orangelion03, Car, Siobhan, InfamousQBert, Maud, Rikibeth, MishaRN, CLD, Cheezwiz, MamaCarrie, Temeraire, somebodyoranother, goldengirl, Liss (again), summerwing, yeomanpip, Susan811, bbl, Deeky (Part II), A Daily Shakesville Fan, Sami_J, liberalandproud, Temeraire: Redux, Mama Shakes II, Bonus Deeky, OuyangDan, J.Goff, Iain, Talonas, The Great Indoors, gogo, kiwi_a, em_and_ink, Tik_bev, phdintraining, Deeky Freakhands, busydani, Jenny Anne, rowmyboat, DesertRose, Steve/Pido, Anne Onymous, phredrika, The Last of the Famous International Deekys, Iain, Another Mustang Bobby, mkp-hearts-nyc, Arvan, Norbizness, Electrasteph, SteffaB, molliecat, Aestas, catvoncat, Filthy Grandeur, Shelly, Mighty Doll, IraeNicole, sevenhelz, the Shaker Halloween Special, Mistress Sparkletoes, Neilleast, NapalmNacey, Rowan_Bristol, ChelseaWantsOut, Phyllis, and PlusSizedFeminist.]
Quote of the Day
"Who the hell does this president think he is?"- Your buddy and mine, Lou Dobbs, all a-splutter over President Obama, convinced he is trying to turn the United States into a Monarchy. Because he might "commit ourselves" to emission standards. Really.
I think you answered your own question, Lou.
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
Strips One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79. In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman and a biracial queerbait telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.
This is a real thing in the world.
The REO Speedwagon video game.
Out today, REO Speedwagon: Find Your Own Way Home, a game that is "intended to promote the band in general." Why, you ask? Why not, I guess?
The downloadable interactive game features avatar versions of the five band members and a make-believe reporter for an entertainment TV show. The plot is centered on the disappearance of Kevin Cronin, the lead vocalist for REO Speedwagon.Sounds thrilling. The game "will cost computer users about $8 to play for each session, which can last as long as 10 hours." Imagine that, 10 hours of Speedwagon's greatest hits. Maybe "thrilling" ain't exactly the right word.
[Cross-posted.]
SYTYCD Open Thread
Another interesting night. None of the performances were bad (and several of them were incredibly good), and yet I really got bored with the show. Somewhere around the beginning of the second round of partnered performances, there needed to be a paso doble or a tango or a Doriana Sanchez disco number to get my blood pumping again.
The low point in the show was unquestionably the Dave Scott-choreographed vampire-devil (?!) hip-hop routine with which Ashleigh and Legacy got stuck. What a pile of cheesy rubbish.
Best of the night, on the other hand, was Ellenore's and Jakob's Sonya-choreographed contemporary piece, which I just adored (and which got a standing ovation from the judges to boot).
I can't imagine who I'd send home, and I don't know what to expect with regard to expulsions (which become singularly votes-driven this week). Even Nathan, whose personality I can't stand, had a good night (I will begrudgingly admit). I don't think Ashleigh had a real star moment last night, unfortunately, and I'm worried for her. I'm also hoping desperately that Ellenore and Jakob don't fall victim to the "they-were-so-good-everyone-else-will-vote-for-them" kiss of death, after that judges' standing O.
Kudos to Basil Rathboner for only making me vomit once with his commentary to Noelle about how she's so much sexier this week. I'm sure he said other objectionable stuff, too, but I tuned it out.
What'd you think?
[Thank you to Vance for the video.]
And So the President Gave a Speech...
The full transcript of the speech is here.
What I was most struck by while watching the speech last night is that it sounded shockingly like a Bush speech (though competently delivered), from the meat of the policy even down to turns of phrase like "promote our values" and "spread hope." Shiver.
Iain moaned bitterly about America making the same mistakes as had the British empire: "We were building trains in India while British children didn't have decent public schools to attend." And now his adopted country is doing the same thing, as if there isn't a history to clearly underline the foolhardiness of this plan.
We were both shocked as well by Obama, who typically doesn't shy away from nuance and details, continually speaking about Afghanistan as if it is a nation in the same manner as the US or UK: But Afghanistan is, of course, not the same. The reason nation-building hasn't worked there (and will continue to not work) is because there is not a national identity to hold together the disparate tribes that comprise its population. It was strange to see such a glaring omission of so basic a fact from Obama's address, although I suppose its inclusion would elicit precisely the sort of questions that Obama hopes to avoid.
Like: Why?
Question of the Day
The open threads this week have been hosted by bands I adored as a kid. Yes, much to my chagrin, I actually thought Sigue Sigue Sputnik were hot shit back in 1986. It's kind of embarrassing now. But hey, I can blame it on youth. I also loved the fuck out of Buckaroo Banzai, The Insiders, and Adrian Mole.
What bits of your childhood that you loved way back when kind of embarrass you now?
Feel the Homomentum!
The D.C. Council has voted to legalize same-sex marriage in the District of Columbia. The measure passed by an 11-2 margin.
Suck on that, Pennsylvania Avenue!
Afghanistan Open Thread
New York Times—Pullout From Afghanistan to Begin in 2011, Officials Say: "President Obama plans to announce Tuesday night that he will begin to transition American forces out of Afghanistan beginning in July 2011, setting the first time frame to wind down the war there nearly a decade after the United States first sent troops in to topple the Taliban government, senior administration officials said."
CNN—Obama wants Afghan war over in 3 years, officials say: "President Obama is sending 30,000 additional troops to Afghanistan but has a goal of concluding the war and withdrawing most U.S. service members within three years, senior administration officials told CNN Tuesday."
ABC News—MoveOn Mobilizes Against Obama on Afghanistan: "The liberal drumbeat against President Obama's new Afghanistan policy is about to get a whole lot louder. MoveOn.org, the liberal advocacy group that claims 5 million members, today sent an e-mail blast urging members to contact the White House to register displeasure with the forthcoming announcement."
Discuss.
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
Strips One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78. In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman and a biracial queerbait telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.
Discussion Thread: The Reverberating Effects of Bigotry
[Trigger warning; minor spoiler warning re: Precious.]
I saw Precious this weekend, and I'm currently in the midst of reading the novel on which the film is based. One of the most resonant ideas from the story for me is how humans so casually and cruelly make life more difficult for one another, without any thought at all about what burdens their targets already carry. Of all the extremely difficult and triggering scenes in Precious, the one I can't even think about without feeling hot tears begin to burn my eyes is the one in which Precious is walking down the street, minding her own business, and she is shoved to the ground by a group of bullies—for no reason other than because she's a fat, poor, black girl who happened to walk by. She lies in the dirt, face down, imagining she is somewhere else.
Bullying and bigotry cause victims to dissociate from their emotions, or internalize their emotions, or lash out in a continuation of the abuse. It can take monumental effort for humans to learn to successfully process such victimizations in real time and in a healthy way. Most of us, I suspect, never really learn how to do it. Don't let it get to you, the call of the privileged, is really not the same as recognizing that bullying and bigotry are intended to hurt you, acknowledging how fucked up it really is, letting that ugliness touch you, and rejecting the effort nonetheless.
I also suspect that most of us never look too closely at the bullying and bigotry we perpetrate against others, for flipsided reasons of self-protection and shame.
When was the last time someone, in the meat world, discriminated against you, stereotyped you, demeaned you, or otherwise negatively singled you out right to your face on the basis of your sex, gender, sexuality, race, ability, stature, shape, etc.? And how did it make you feel when it happened?
When was the last time you, in the meat world, discriminated against someone, stereotyped someone, demeaned someone, or otherwise negatively singled someone out right to hir face on the basis of hir sex, gender, sexuality, race, ability, stature, shape, etc.? And how did it make you feel when it happened? Did you make amends?
Actual Headline
In praise of George W. Bush.
For what, you might be wondering, is James Fallows praising the generally unpraiseworthy George W. Bush? Well, for not being Dick Cheney. And for keeping shtum on current political affairs—which, as far as I can tell, is merely a continuation of his ongoing habit of being totally out to lunch, just like when he was president.
Way to go, Georgie.
Quote of the Day
"Do not mistreat or abuse foreigners who live among you. Remember, you were foreigners in Egypt" — God, Exodus 22:21, responding to some not-so-charitable bullshit in Houston.
