Alright, Shakers large and small, here's the way I think we should run it.
Whenever I post a NQDTR, it will remain tightly-focused: teaspoons only. So anyone looking to just mainline on teaspoons, you're good to go.
However, I shall also post a NQDTR Discussion Thread, in which discussion of the teaspooning can happen. I'll post guidelines for that when I post the Discussion Thread. This will be where you can admire one another's teaspoon technique, gently offer constructive criticism, or just be encouraging, or whatever makes the discussants happy.
I'd thought, as suggested, that we might try a single Discussion Thread a week, but it occurred to me they could be fairly high-traffic, and it might be better to have one per NQDTR, to save on the load times when we get to the third NQDTR of the week. For now, then, we'll go with a Discussion thread alongside each NQDTR.
If anyone's got opinions on this decision, this is the post to register those opinions in. Let's all try to be nice to one another the way I know we can. :)
The NQDTR: A Decision
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
Strips One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76. In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman and a biracial queerbait telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.
Stay Classy, CBSA!
My friend Jessie of Gender Euphoria pointed this one out to me: USan journalist detained at border, grilled over intended reportage.
Let me spell this out in nice small words for you, CBSA.
This nice lady is a "reporter". They have note pads, and pencils, and their cars go vroom vroom vroom. "Reporters" are people who write stories, stories about real things that happen, not like your most very favouritest stories about Clifford the big red dog.
In this country, we have a silly little thing called the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. It's full of all kinds of big silly words and phrases, and some of them are very confusing, I know. Let's look at one of those phrases, shall we? Maybe some of them could be, you know, "relevant" to this reporter-lady, what do you say?
Here's a neat one. Say it with me now, "Freedom of the press". It's right here, under Section 2, with some very big words, like "fundamental" and "freedom".
Fundamental freedomsSo, I have to say, CBSA, I'm not sure I understand: Which section of that big ol' Charter of Rights and Freedoms says it's a good idea to detain people who are the press, given the whole "freedom of the press" thing they mention? And even if you think she isn't a good enough reporter to have your respect for her fundamental freedoms, I'm pretty sure that she counts as part of that "everybody" above.
2. Everyone has the following fundamental freedoms:
(b) freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication;
Of course, silly me, I had this weird idea that a reporter was part of the press, and therefore protected by the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Guess that was back in the days before the War on Terror (ooh, big scary words, let's throw away our rights so we can make the big scary words go away!).
Dear CBSA, could you please make a fix of this? Because just between us Canucks, you're really embarrassing me in front of ymay Mericanway riendsfay.
Thanks ever so,
Your snarky fellow Canuckian comrade,
CaitieCat the Aging Commie Dyke
What the...?!
How in name of Allen Funt did this happen?
The Secret Service is investigating how a couple aspiring to be reality-show celebrities managed to appear at President Obama's first state dinner without being on the guest list, provoking questions about security at the White House.Within hours of the event, the Salahis had posted images of the event on Facebook, where they were pictured posing with Vice President Joe Biden and "Ron" Emanuel.
The inquiry was begun after a Virginia couple, Michaele and Tareq Salahi, slipped past multiple layers of high-level White House security Tuesday night and managed to rub shoulders, literally, with Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. and the White House chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, among others, at Washington's most exclusive social event this year.
[H/T to Mama Shakes.]
Daily Kitteh and Puppeh
Cake Thieves Edition
The kids' kitten, Oron, not thirty minutes after hosing down an entire room of my parents' house with projectile coconut frosting vomit. Yeah, those cupcakes were for the kids, counter-jumper!
Dougie, AKA Sir Doug, who purloined an entire slice of Starbucks lemon pound cake from the coffee table while my father strained his tea.
Holiday Bonus photos below the fold:
Sir Doug-- Poet, Philosopher King, and Cake Thief Extraordinaire. Photo by The_Lady_Eve.
"Hand over the cupcakes, two-legs!"
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
Strips One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75. In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman and a biracial queerbait telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.
What Are We Really Giving Thanks For?
[This piece originally ran last year, but Renee has graciously permitted me to repost it again this year.—Liss]
by Shaker Renee, of Womanist Musings
Today families are going to gather across the nation to share a meal. (At least those who can afford to participate.) They will brave long lines, security at the airports, and lots of traffic to ensure that they are able to re-enact the national fable that we have come to understand as Thanksgiving Day. As the mashed potatoes and turkey are doled out, a few will stop to consider their bounty. Other than the 4th of July, could there be another day that is filled with more tradition, and pure Americana?
Hours of labour will have gone into preparing the feast. The stress of the travel will be forgotten as people begin to gorge themselves. It will be a day that will reach its climax when finally every stomach is filled beyond tolerance, and each face holds a smile. Satiated and relaxed, the family will retire to their respective couches to reflect upon a good time had by all.
Yes, it seems like a wonderful day of light hearted mirth and family bonding, until we begin to speak about the unmentionable; the suffering of the Indigenous community. The national myth includes happy compliant Native Americans, with no mention of the near genocide that occurred that makes them nearly invisible to this day in the social hierarchy.
We are further meant to believe that the pilgrims as people of God, held no prejudice, or ambition in their hearts. We are continually reminded of their persecution, as though that absolves them of the pleasure that they took in the near destruction of Native peoples. Only the truly God-fearing and tolerant kind, find happiness in small pox decimating a population.
John Winthrop, Governor of Massachusetts Bay Colony, called the plague "miraculous." To a friend in England in 1634, he wrote:"But for the natives in these parts, God hath so pursued them, as for 300 miles space the greatest part of them are swept away by the small pox which still continues among them. So as God hath thereby cleared our title to this place, those who remain in these parts, being in all not fifty, have put themselves under our protect."
This is not the only declaration that Winthrop would make. The thanksgiving that we partake in today is nothing more than the re-enactment of a celebration over the murder of over 700 Pequot people.'Thanksgiving' did not begin as a great loving relationship between the pilgrims and the Wampanoag, Pequot and Narragansett people. In fact, in October of 1621 when the 'pilgrim' survivors of their first winter in Turtle Island sat down to share the first unofficial 'Thanksgiving' meal, the Indians who were there were not even invited! There was no turkey, squash, cranberry sauce or pumpkin pie. A few days before this alleged feast took place, a company of 'pilgrims' led by Miles Standish actively sought the head of a local Indian leader, and an 11 foot high wall was erected around the entire Plymouth settlement for the very purpose of keeping Indians out! Officially, the holiday we know as 'Thanksgiving' actually came into existence in the year 1637. Governor Winthrop of the Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed this first official day of Thanksgiving and feasting to celebrate the return of the colony's men who had arrived safely from what is now Mystic, Connecticut. They had gone there to participate in the massacre of over 700 Pequot men, women and children, and Mr. Winthrop decided to dedicate an official day of thanksgiving complete with a feast to 'give thanks' for their great 'victory'....
The unspoken thanks for the near-genocide of a people is what we will all fail to reflect upon. In this way we are able to maintain a colonization that has gone on since Plymouth Rock landed on the Indigenous Peoples.
The lie is maintained from generation to generation. We use children's cartoons to inform the young that they are entitled to this privilege born of bloodshed. Schools use thanksgiving pageants, where the children are dressed as Pilgrims and Indians to re-enforce the national myth.
Though the Indigenous community has complained, time and time again about the obvious appropriation of culture, many refuse to acknowledge the legitimacy of the offense. They hold tightly to the idea that they have the right to their traditions. (Warning: Comment section is extremely offensive.)
In the name of tradition the colonization, exploitation, and marginalization continues. One would believe that after the breaking of over 350 treaties, the trail of tears, and the slaughter of untold millions, that we could socially decide that a tradition that is based in this is worth changing.
It is the denial of racial privilege to believe that one group has the right to so forcefully express their power in this manner. Though the Indigenous community represents the vanquished historically speaking, they are still a vibrant part of our society. The annual celebration of such cruelty is macabre to say the least.
If we must have a day when we gather together, it should not be in the celebration of a near genocide. There is nothing that evokes warmth and love about an earth that is filled with the blood of so many innocent people.
Today as the turkey and the ham are passed around, perhaps instead of the laughter and camaraderie, a moment of silence could be devoted to the cultures that have been forcibly destroyed, the languages lost, and the untold suffering of millions. The Indigenous Peoples of the Americas deserve at least that. If we can pause on Remembrance Day for a war that lasted four years; perhaps we can take a moments pause for a colonization that has lasted centuries.
A Little Old-Fashioned Fat-Hatred
This one from Alternet's Tara Lohan, a new set of health guidelines in Japan - backed up with big fines for companies who don't or can't force their employees to be all the same size - requires companies and local governments to measure the waist of every employee over 40.
I don't think I need to explain to anyone here how much wrong there is here.
Question of the Day
Inspired by Deeky's BFF Glenn Beck: What's the worst book you've ever read, so bad you couldn't believe it got published?
News from Shakes Manor
Iain just walked in with the most beautiful bunch of flowers. The picture doesn't do them justice. They also smell absolutely delicious!
I believe this is all part of his elaborate scheme to make sure that when I am obliged by tradition tomorrow to recount for what I'm thankful, his name is on the list.
It is a scheme so elaborate, in fact, that it appears to entail doing wonderful and thoughtful and generous things on a near-constant basis.
He's a fiendishly clever scoundrel, that one!
Thanksgiving, Conservative-Style
Shaker JMonkey emails:
I normally don't follow these idiots' videos, but someone just sent me the PJTV Thanksgiving video. Apparently, Thanksgiving for the PJTV conservatives is all about:Wow. Just...wow.
1) Denying that Native Americans had a culture
2) Denying that Europeans systematically engaged in genocide and ethnic cleansing
2) Murdering a liberal caricature
Really. Beyond belief.
[I haven't had an opportunity to do a transcript, and I'm not sure it's necessary, as JMonkey's paraphrase pretty much sums up the ugliness at the link.
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
Note: This strip is based on an actual conversation Deeky and I had earlier today after he saw a copy of Glenn Beck's The Christmas Sweater at the store and texted a picture to me. It sounds fantastic:
In Beck's debut novel, the conservative radio and TV host (An Inconvenient Book) makes a weak attempt at a holiday classic in the vein of It's a Wonderful Life. Despite his single mother's financial hardships, 12-year-old Eddie is certain this Christmas he will receive his much-desired Huffy bike. To his dismay, what he finds under the tree is "a stupid, handmade, ugly sweater" that his mother carefully modeled after those she can't afford at Sears (one of four places she keeps part-time jobs). Eddie tosses the sweater and insults his mother before the two go visit his grandparents at their farmouse. On the drive home, though, Eddie's exhausted mother falls asleep at the wheel and crashes, dying instantly. Sent to live with his grandparents, an increasingly bitter and angry Eddie lashes out at his accommodating guardians, engages in typical teenage angst and grapples with belief in God.Awesome.
Strips One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74. In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman and a biracial queerbait telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.
"Leave Room for the Holy Spirit"
On the off chance you haven't actually seen this yet:
Because there is nothing more sinful than two people hugging with their genitals... ummm... face to face.
Look, I don't know what you fundagelicals are all on about with your purity ballz and your New Rebellion and your appropriation of hip-hop culture, but I'll give you one thing. This song is catchy. I mean, it cleared "MMM-Bop" right out of my head, so that's saying something. (Can I get a "hallelujah"? Okay, maybe not.)
Tim Foreman provides a transcript here. Which provides more questions than answers. Like, what's the difference between a Christian side hug and, say, a Shinto side hug? What is inherently sinful about the front hug, other than two people's crotches lining up? What if one person is a lot shorter than the other? Can they "front hug" then? If it's okay to "front hug" after marriage, is it okay if two married men "front hug"? Or is that totally gay?
And why the fuck is everything all about sex with you?
See also Feministe and Feministing and just about everyone else on the internet.
[H/T to my pal Lena, who side hugs like a motherfucker.]
Perino: "No Terrorism on Bush's Watch"
Via Media Matters, here's former White House Press Secretary Dana Perino claiming on Sean Hannity's Fox News show yesterday that "we did not have a terrorist attack on our country during President Bush's term."
Sean Hannity: I still wonder, does [President Obama] really understand national security and that we really do have a war on terror, which they have been hesitant to use? Even the term.Even giving Perino's statement the most charitable interpretation—that we didn't have another terrorist attack after 9/11 (which was the standard Bush administration line)—it's still bullshit.
Dana Perino: Well, I, I— There is one thing that I would say about Fort Hood that I feel very strongly about, which is—and I don't say this to be political—I think it matters a lot what we call it. And we had a terrorist attack on our country, and we should call it what it is, because we need to face up to it, so that we can prevent it from happening again.
Hannity: I agree with you. And you know why won't they say what you just so simply said?
Perino: It's prob— They wanna do all of their investigations; I don't know all of their thinking that goes into it, but— You know, we did not have a terrorist attack on our country during President Bush's term. I hope they're not looking at this politically; I do think that we owe it to the American people to call it what it is.
Hannity: If you, if you say "Allahu Akbar" before the, before the shooting, and you reached out to Al-Qaeda twenty times, it's a pretty good indication you're a terrorist, terrorist sympathizer.
Stuart Varney: What is it—you're not a terrorist unless you've got an Al-Qaeda button right on there?! [Hannity laughs] I mean, good heavens, what's going on?
And in case the Obama administration hasn't delivered enough fail yet this month to make your head spin off its axis: "Dana M. Perino, Mr. Bush's fourth and final press secretary, was nominated Thursday by President Obama to serve on the Broadcasting Board of Governors, an independent agency responsible for overseeing the Voice of America, Radio Free Europe and other non-military broadcasts sponsored by the federal government." [Via Andy.]
The board is required to be nonpartisan ("by law, it must consist of no more than four members of the same political party"), but I cannot imagine there was not a single Republican more suited for a media oversight position than the last person in charge of packaging Bush administration lies for the media.
Hell, even the McClellatron and his time-release conscience would have been better.
