It's tiring being an adorable fuzzmonster.
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
Strips One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54. In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman and a biracial queerbait telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.
News from Shakes Manor
Last night, Iain asked me to suggest something to watch that wouldn't involve too much brain power, i.e. none of the (enlightening but emotionally draining) documentaries I favor about subjects frequently described by other people as "depressing," and no long-ass dramas one might reasonably expect to co-star Tom Wilkinson.
So I suggested Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus.
About five minutes into it, Iain said, "I thought this was gonnae be a documentary!"
Which: A) Made me laugh for nine bajillion years; and B) Shows you how totally SHIT the Discovery Channel and its associated brands have really become that it's actually totally reasonable, upon consideration, that there might be a documentary called "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus."
This Sighting Is for You, Liss
So, knowing how Liss loves miraculous sightings, I had to post the one that appeared to me over the weekend when I visited a Guantanamera in NYC...
There, in a fortuitous combination of tomato salsa and (possibly) empanada grease, a vision of the Eiffel Tower appeared to me.
What did this mean, I wondered. Here I am, a southerner, in the heart of what many of my fellow southerners like to consider the center-of-iniquity-and-liberal-foolishness, and an image of that other, godforsaken, "anti-American" place--Paris, France--comes to me? My mind... it is boggled.
I cannot figure out the message, Shakers (though, I must admit, my clarity of mind was impaired by the absolutely delicious coconut mojitos).
Help me!
Monday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by Shaxco, makers of Spudsy Brand William Castle Wall Posters.
Recommended Reading:
Liz: Disability Blog Carnival #59: Disability and Work
Pizza Diavola: Your Body, Your Perspective
Macon: Stuff White People Do: Enjoy Racially Segregated Bars and Restaurants
Melissa: This Type of Shitty Reporting PISSES ME OFF
Angry Asian Man: More Oriental Hooker-y for Halloween
Julianne: If Dr. Seuss Designed Produce…
Chris: Leaping Wolf Snatches Photo Prize
Leave your links in comments...
Today in "Comedy"
[Trigger warning.]
You know how over half a million women every year experience violent victimization at the hands of an intimate partner, ten times that of men, and how a lot of those women are straight women held hostage by their husbands or boyfriends, estranged husbands or estranged boyfriends, ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends, and how a lot of those women end up dead...?
Wouldn't it be just totally hilarious if there was a movie that turned all that on its head and cast America's Sweetheart Meg Ryan as a deranged woman who holds her husband, Oscar Winner Timothy Hutton, hostage in a desperate bid to stop him from leaving her for a younger woman?! HA HA!
ZANY ROMP!!!
[H/T to Shaker Julia. Stalking is Hilarious: Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight.]
Wow
I read some real woman-hating shit every goddamn day, but this just about takes the cake.
Talk about can't win. Can't win if you're fat. Can't win if you're too thin. Can't win if you're ugly. Can't win if you're merely cute. Can't win if you're beautiful and have the temerity to age. Can't win if you try to stay looking young artificially. Can't win if you age naturally. Can't win if you're a woman of any description, really. Can't win. Can't. Fucking. Win.
And don't even exist if you're not a (predominantly) straight, white, cis, able-bodied, thin, typically-statured woman.
Btw, I'd like to point out to the Shaker men that Spike.com describes itself as "the premier online destination for Men!" and note, once again, that it is not feminists who are the real man-haters in this world. Any outfit that serves up the sort of jaw-droppingly misogynist content under the pretense of being representative of how the average guy views women hates men, and is profoundly contemptuous of any notion of a spectrum of manhood, in ways I can't even begin to contemplate.
[H/T to Shaker Tracee.]
Today in WTF?
Hotel owner tells Hispanic workers to change names:
Larry Whitten marched into this northern New Mexico town in late July on a mission: resurrect a failing hotel.I'm just doing what I've always done—be a colossal bully using oppressive racism to scare people whose fates I hold in my hands into doing whatever I say! What's the big deal? Sheesh!
The tough-talking former Marine immediately laid down some new rules. Among them, he forbade the Hispanic workers at the run-down, Southwestern adobe-style hotel from speaking Spanish in his presence (he thought they'd be talking about him), and ordered some to Anglicize their names.
No more Martin (Mahr-TEEN). It was plain-old Martin. No more Marcos. Now it would be Mark.
Whitten's management style had worked for him as he's turned around other distressed hotels he bought in recent years across the country.
The 63-year-old Texan, however, wasn't prepared for what followed.
His rules and his firing of several Hispanic employees angered his employees and many in this liberal enclave of 5,000 residents at the base of the Sangre de Cristo mountains, where the most alternative of lifestyles can find a home and where Spanish language, culture and traditions have a long and revered history.
"I came into this landmine of Anglos versus Spanish versus Mexicans versus Indians versus everybody up here. I'm just doing what I've always done," he says.
I honestly cannot. even. deal. with the perspective that if some xenophobic gring@ can't handle the ZOMG OVERWHELMING LATIN MINDFUCK!!eleventy! of the name Marcos, it's somehow incumbent upon Marcos to accommodate that incomprehensibly off-the-charts insularity by changing his name.
[H/T to Shaker Molliecat.]
Transness, Class, and Assertiveness: A Personal Case Study
Just a quick starting note - I can't remember whether I've mentioned in a post here at Shakesville, I know I have in comments, but I'm dealing with a bout of fairly intense depression lately, which is why you regulars will have noticed my increased and unwonted (and, yes, unwanted) quietude. This is part of my attempt to return to my previous position astride the proverbial equine.
I got a contract offer on Saturday night, from a company I worked for before, nearly two years' worth, in fact. When I left that position, I started my own business, doing translation and writing (and I can't resist: if you have need of either of those services, I am definitely available, contact me for details).
One of the major issues I'd had with the company that made me feel exploited was that I was being seriously underpaid, somewhat voluntarily. It was a startup, and I knew that, and was willing to take a low wage in the hopes that their product would turn out to be a smash, and we'd all get to be stinking rich. Despite the low wage - and I'm talking barely the minimum wage, here, for a professional linguist and translator, also doing tech writing and graphic design and web design - I enjoyed the work.
But the other major issues kept interfering: they not only wanted me full-time, they continually called me at the weekend, in the evening, no boundaries. Since I worked at home 95% of the time, and they could call me there during business hours, they kept calling outside of those hours.
And here's where things got bad for me, and this part's my fault.
See, I didn't stand up for myself. And it's taken me a while, but I now know why that was, and it's helping me a lot in being a lot more assertive this time.
First, I go back: we were poor growing up. Very poor. We moved to Canada as economic migrants from the UK. So I go through the world resting on that base: I do not have middle-class privilege, and this is one place it shows. I began to notice it when I had a long relationship with a partner from a prosperous farming family - church elders, council members, that sort of people. And noticed our different approaches to situations. My partner moved in a world which was, to some extent, made easier by a set of assumptions that said, "The government and its various arms work for me."
I'd grown up with the set of assumptions that said, "The government and its various arms do their best to keep us from getting anywhere we aren't already." I'm partially disabled. Once when we were travelling, there was a huge lineup for customs examination, a good hour's wait, all of which was to be standing. This was very challenging for me. I asked someone whether I'd be able to go in the line for PWD, and was refused when I pointed out that my family would come with me. I meekly turned back and stood in line again. My partner went over and said, "We're going in this line, alright, my partner can hardly stand, and won't make it through this line."
And we went in the short line. This is one of those little insidious ways that privilege works so that people don't even see it: that feeling that the world is predisposed to treat you at worst decently.
I couldn't have done it, then. I can now. I couldn't have turned back and insisted on my right to be in the line to which I clearly had a right. Now, I can. Oh, yes I can.
The other piece that went into my meekness was transition. Before transition, I played sports, I was in the military, I had all the confidence and privilege you'd expect for someone perceived to be a man, who was also white and relatively educated.
And transition? It just shattered that shit, smacked it into a thousand busted little pieces. Many of them fell out of the frame - not all, though, and I still find a few little shards of old privilege poking me now and then, as unpleasant as ever.
Everything I'd ever known about how to move in the world, how to walk, talk, stand, sit, answer the phone, get home late at night, how to meet people as friends, as lovers, how to find work, how to cope with a 30% wage cut...all of it smashed into little pieces.
I couldn't get references from old employers; in 1992, no one was being kind to transitioners, believe me. They said they'd give me references, but only in my old name. I could have a reference if I wanted to out myself to every potential employer. You can imagine the likelihood of finding work...so I went without.
This, as well as a thousand other things, "taught me my place", as they say: don't insist, freak, or we'll out you to everyone, and you know how that'll go.
And so I added a "please don't mess with me, I'll give you what you need" attitude to show to the world.
Any wonder, then, that when my boss would phone me at 9pm on a Friday night, and tell me he wanted $PROJECT to $STATE by Monday morning, I'd say, "Okay, I guess," instead of not picking up the phone?
So...here we are, Monday morning. Saturday I got the offer. And I'm going to negotiate. Because though I do need the contract, I'm not going to tell them that, and I'm not going to make myself vulnerable to that kind of exploitation anymore.
I'm setting a limit for the hours I'll work for them in a month; I'm setting a limit on how many weekend or evening hours I'll work out of that lot. Neither will be anywhere near as high as they'd like them to be. And I'm not budging.
I may not have much power, but if there's one thing Shakesville has taught me, it's that small power wielded confidently looks a lot more like big power.
Have teaspoon, will travel.
Healthcare Open Thread
Fineman—Obama's pointless bipartisanship: "[T]he pursuit of [Republican Senator Olympia Snowe] is pretty close to obsessive, which is not a good thing either for Democrats or for the prospects of health-care reform worthy of the name. First, Snowe's exaggerated prominence is both the result and symbol of Obama's quixotic and ultimately time—wasting pursuit of 'bipartisanship.' In case the White House hasn't noticed, Republicans in Congress are engaged in what amounts to a sitdown strike. They don't like anything about Obama or his policies; they have no interest in seeing him succeed. Despite the occasional protestation to the contrary, the GOP has no intention of helping him pass any legislation. Snowe may very well end up voting for whatever she and Democrats craft, but that won't make the outcome bipartisan any more than dancing shoes made Tom DeLay Fred Astaire. Nor would Snowe's vote mollify the GOP grassroots: they don't think of her as a Republican anyway."
Digby:
I keep imagining conversations in the White House right now, where Obama turns to Rahm and says, "You promised that if made these deals with the industry we'd get at least 15 Republicans on board. Now our whole bipartisan argument depends on Olympia Snowe?"CNN—Aide: Reid likely to include public option in Senate health care bill: "Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is poised to proceed with plans to introduce a Senate health care bill with a public health insurance option that would allow states to opt out, a senior aide to Reid told CNN on Sunday."
Rahm replies, "I know Mr President. But no matter how much money the industry gave them, the Republicans refused to go along. They won't give us any cover for this no matter how much it costs them.
Obama: So maybe we should just pass the bill with the public option and get it over with ...
Rahm: But, sir. That would mean breaking our word to the industry.
Obama: What about our supporters?
Rahm: You never promised them a public option, remember?
Obama: Right, right. Thank God for that, eh?
Jon—Senate Dems to Obama: Um, a Little Help Here?: "After a weekend of furious activity, Democratic leaders in the Senate think they are close to getting the votes they need in order to pass an "opt-out" version of the public option. But they feel like President Obama could be doing more to help them, with one senior staffer telling TNR on Sunday that the leadership would like, but has yet to receive, a clear 'signal' of support for their effort."
Steve—White House 'Completely Supports' Reid's Efforts: "The main story on health care reform over the last few days is that the White House and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid aren't quite on the same page. Reid, by all accounts, is prepared to move forward with a reform bill that includes a public option and a state opt-out compromise. President Obama, according to several reports, is skeptical that this bill will generate the necessary support, and sees a 'trigger' approach as the path of least resistance. Last night, Deputy White House Communications Director Dan Pfeiffer posted an item intended to knock down talk about differences between the leaders."
BTD: "Certainly this makes it tougher for Obama to publically support triggers. That's a good thing. His earlier dithering has done plenty of damage to the public option cause, not just in the Senate, as Jon Cohn reports, but in the House, as Roll Call reports. Hopefully this will stop the bleeding. At least until Obama and his team try to gut the public option again."
See also:
Maha: Public Option News
Paul: Ridgelines and River Bottoms
This is...
...the dumbest fucking thing I've read in weeks.
I'm endlessly fascinated amused by conservatives' obsessive need to consume nothing but conservative media. It's not good enough to listen to music or watch a movie or whatever, they're constantly seeking conservative music. It's only worthwhile to watch a conservative movie. I MUST HAVE MY POLITICAL OPINIONS REFLECTED BACK TO ME AT ALL TIMES RAR.* While their little "Top 10 Conservative Songs" lists are always good for a hearty bwa-ha-ha, it's really hilarious to see them swing at fences when it comes to Hollywood.
But this? This is something special. This is a whole new level of fucking stupid. Hawkins completely abandons the entire purpose of his post with half of his ridiculous list; he doesn't even bother stating what makes them "conservative" horror movies at all. When he does bother supporting his title with an explanation as to why these DVDs are totes in Karl Rove's collection, it's just seriously all kinds of dumb. Why is Cloverfield conservative? Because... uh... the military is in it! Yay, military! Yay, troops! Why is The Exorcist conservative? Well, because the priests in it are doing good things, and those commie liberal Hollywood pinkos always otherwise show priests as sleazebags.
Also, Quarantine is conservative because it shows how sloppy and ineffectual the government is in a crisis. Sort of. And The Mist is conservative because... well... there's this government experiment... and, sure, the "Christian" in the movie is totally trucknutz, but... the military shows up at the end... and... well... because shut up that's why!
But really, it's the last flick in his list, The Tripper, that tips all the cards. Why is this such a wonderful movie for conservatives to watch?This movie is meant to be a slap at Ronald Reagan and conservatives. In a couple of spots near the end of the movie, it does manage to grate conservative sensibilities. However, that mild annoyance does not to detract from the sweet, sweet joy of watching a guy in a Ronald Reagan mask taking an ax to dirty, drug addled hippies throughout the movie. If a conservative had made this movie, instead of David Arquette, liberals would be calling it a "hate crime."
"Dirty, drug-addled hippies?" Hate crime jokes? Really?
This bozo gets paid to write this crap? I'm just mind-boggled every time I read one of these posts, gloriously dizzy with déjà vu. What is it like to be a conservative, where everything you read is the same, and you've been hearing the same goddamn jokes since the sixties? Doesn't it get old?
It's lousy, shitty writing like this that makes me wish I had presented myself to the world as a dumbfuck conservative as soon as I was able to hold an opinion on anything, so I could land a gig at one of these wingnut welfare jobs. I could write endlessly about how 300 rocked my conservative ass because war is teh most awesum of conservative values, try to hide the tent in my Dockers, and collect my check.
"Dirty, drug-addled hippies." Pulled that one right out of the Elephant's ass.
----------------------
*While it's totally understandable to choose your entertainment based on personal politics, I think it's a little ridiculous to parse everything you watch to ensure it parrots back your political ideology, even if you have to stand on your head and cross your eyes to see it. And hey, it's okay to enjoy something that doesn't completely adhere to your worldview. For example, I know Liss can't not watch Armageddon every time it shows up on cable, even though she calls it a "totes conservative wankfest."
(Energy dome tip to Tintin.)
Podcast Transcript
Earlier this month, I was invited to join Renee of Womanist Musings and Monica of TransGriot on the Womanist Musings Blog Talk Radio Show, where, with their other guest, Cara of The Curvature, we discussed the rape culture.
Shaker Maud made the extremely generous offer to transcribe the podcast of the discussion, and her transcript is now available here.
Thank you, so much, Maud, for all your hard work. I am so deeply appreciative!
In Which Bronson Pinchot Makes Me LOL
After his quickly-becoming-infamous Onion AV Club interview in which he revealed that Tom Cruise was wildly homophobic on the set of Risky Business, and that Denzel Washington, with whom he worked on Courage Under Fire, was "one of the most unpleasant human beings I've ever met in my life," actor Bronson Pinchot was asked by the Wall Street Journal if he'd been serious. The follow-up interview is almost as good as the original, and this is just priceless:
What about the remark that Denzel Washington is one of the most unpleasant people you've met?Damn! LOL.
I regret my choice of words there, and would like to amend my statement by saying I found his willingness to be ungenerous, unkind, knowingly hurtful both mentally and physically to myself and the crew to be the saddest misuse of stardom I have ever experienced or hope to experience.
Shakers, this is one of the most embarrassing admissions I will ever make on these pages, so listen closely: At age 12, I loved the show Perfect Strangers so much, and had such a crush on Bronson Pinchot, that when I got a puppy that year, I named it Balki, after his character Balki Bartokomous.
For realz.
Daily Kitteh
Hmm, who could have done such a dastardly deed, I wonder...?
Mystery solved!
Quote of the Day
"I am confident that I made decisions based on principle, that I made calls as best I could, and I did not sell my soul."—Former President George W. Bush, at a speech in Montreal to their Board of Trade, where he was greeted by about 300 protesters who "blew plastic horns, tossed shoes and burned [him] in effigy."
This is even better:
While Bush's speech was mostly eloquent and free of the language gaffes he admits he is famous for, he said he regretted appearing in front of a "Mission Impossible" sign during a televised address in 2003. The controversial banner referring to the U.S. mission in Iraq, actually said "Mission Accomplished."LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! Sob.
