Suggested by Shaker Xiaolongnu: What books/movies/other narratives do you think do a good job of representing the real experience of adult relationships and sexuality (of any flavor or orientation) in a positive way? What did you see/read and think: They really get it? There are so many weird and twisted* models of sexuality out there: What are the good ones?
* As in skirting (or disregarding) enthusiastic consent, for example, not as in merely "outside the mainstream."
Question of the Day
Blogginz Semi-Daily Dumpus
I will be getting a replica of this tattoo on my back, and it will have an inscription under it that says, "Wolves! Wolves! Wolves!"
Once I get the tat, on the rare occasions when I remove my Three Wolf Moon Shirt, like to take my weekly gentleman's bubble bath, I won't have to worry about being wolfless and vulnerable against the elements.
Rape Reports Hit Two-Decade Low
[Trigger warning.]
Shaker Koach emails about USA Today's front-paged article, "Reported rapes hit 20-year low (which I post with her permission):
That seems like good news. The actual reporting, however, certainly leaves a lot to be desired:The emphasis on DNA evidence is indeed disheartening, particularly when coupled with claims like this:Rape prosecutions have improved dramatically over the past two decades because of advances in DNA testing to pinpoint a rapist rather than forcing prosecutors to rely solely on a victim's identification of her attacker, says Kim Gandy, past president of the National Organization for Women and a former prosecutor.Oh yes, god forbid we have to rely on the testimony of a victim, of a woman. No wonder conviction rates were so low! Thank god we have rational science now instead of hysterical, over-accusing women!
"You don't see the nightmarish trials of the 1960s where a woman's reputation would be brought into question and people would conclude she deserved it," [Michael Males, senior researcher for the Center on Juvenile & Criminal Justice in San Francisco] says.Excuse me?! I can't even imagine the number of posts I've written about victim-blaming in the media and during rape trials over the last five years, no less the posts about rape survivors being threatened with prosecution or threatened with contempt of court. Males is living on another planet if he thinks women's reputations—along with what they were wearing, how they were wearing it, how they were carrying themselves, where they were, when they were there, why they were there, with whom they were there, what they were doing, why they were doing it, with whom they were doing it, what they were drinking, how much they were drinking, whether they made eye contact, whether they talked, whether they flirted, whether they danced, whether they spoke, whether they breathed, and every other conceivable question designed to tease out how being raped is YOUR fault—doesn't happen anymore. It sure as shit does, brootha.
Meanwhile, at the top of the associated content ("You might be interested in") box at the end of this article, linking to related stories, is this—1-year rape sentence raises concerns:
Two state lawmakers are questioning a plea agreement that will allow a man to serve only one year in jail on a conviction for raping a 4-year-old girl.Which only underlines the point that lower reported rapes is a small part of the vast, ugly picture that is the rape culture.
Nineteen of the 20 years of a sentence against 64-year-old David Harold Earls were suspended as part of a plea agreement reached with Pittsburg County prosecutors.
…District Attorney Jim Bob Miller says prosecutors did not have any DNA evidence and determined after two days of working with Earls' accuser that the girl — who is now 5 years old — was not able to testify.
"She was not mature enough or able to sit still long enough," Miller said. "We had a real risk of losing at trial and him walking out scot-free."
I guess fake, or incomplete, good news about rape is great front-page news, though. Especially if you leave out of it any examination of whether increasing emphasis on physical evidence as a requisite for a prosecution can be a strong deterrent to victims of rape with nothing but their word and will and longing for justice.
[I encourage every survivor of sexual assault to report any and all crimes against them, irrespective of the presence of physical evidence, if they feel comfortable and safe doing so. If you are discouraged by police or prosecutors, I will be happy to help you try to locate a victim's advocate in your area.]
New Flaming Lips
First Listen: The Flaming Lips, Embryonic. Via Ta-Nehisi.
I love the Lips, especially Wayne. I've rung in several New Years with the Lips, and spent a few other delightful evenings with them and about 2,000 other folks. Sometimes only 200. One on weird occasion, about 12. I've listened to The Soft Bulletin more times than I can count, and "Waitin' for a Superman" still makes me cry every time I hear it live.
Daily Kitteh
Monitor Cat is sleepy.
Someone always asks when I post pix of Sophs curled up on top of my monitor, "Isn't that a flat screen?!" Why, yes it is...
But it doesn't stop her!
She is in my way constantly; I have to lift her legs out of the way just to get to my menus all the time. If I remove her, she just jumps right back up again. When Iain's home and sees the annoying routine, he asks me every time how the hell it doesn't drive me totally trucknutz. Honestly, I don't know. It sure seems like it should. I'm just used to it now, I guess, lol!
[Previously in Monitor Cat: One, Two, Three.]
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
Strips One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44. In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman and a biracial queerbait telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.
Funktionide
So, I'm watching this video for the Funktionide [via]:
—and there's a part of me thinking that this could be incredibly useful in some forms of touch therapy for people with certain neurological disabilities or survivors of abuse or anyone who's dealing with a challenge that makes physical intimacy difficult...and then there's this other part of me going, "Lordy begordy. I'm looking at the future of Real Dolls."
The designer, Stefan Ulrich, says that the Funktionide
is an amorph object whose intention is to provide the owner with an atmosphere of presence thus counteracting the feeling of loneliness. In the visions future people are lonely and with all the new dimensions products offer, humans will eventually turn to "robots" for emotional satisfaction.Very interesting. Given that I was torn between feeling compelled and disturbed at the possibilities, I'd say that Ulrich's attempt to provoke multiple reactions was a success. At least for me.
This gives rise to a number of questions: What happens if products that were proposed as a relief against social isolation begin to become the solution?
...In this way the works intention is to create a provocative picture for discussion, which enables us to question how much we want technological products to satisfy our emotional needs. To ask these questions will become part of the responsibility of future product design.
The ambiguity of this scenario is, that it could be understood as a solution to a wide range of different kinds of loneliness. But it might as well be understood as a scenario which should be avoided by all means possible.
Discuss.
[You can visit Ulrich here.]
Glenn Beck: Superstar
It turns out that, among his many other delightful qualities, Glenn Beck is also an unapologetic sexist!
Some of those nasty liberal types will surely suggest this is further evidence that Glenn Beck is bad for America. But I ask you: How can a man who looks so good in a patriotic sweater be bad for America?
Answer me that!
Go, Senator Franken!
[Trigger warning.]
Jamie Leigh Jones, the Halliburton/KBR employee who reported being gang-raped by her co-workers, only to then be held hostage by her employer, has been denied anything even resembling justice ever since because her employment contract stipulated that sexual assault allegations could only be addressed by private arbitration. That absurd (and implicitly rape-minimizing) contractual agreement was recently rendered irrelevant to her case, helping clear what will still likely be a very long path to justice.
As a result of Jones' case, Senator Al Franken proposed
an amendment to the 2010 Defense Appropriations bill that would withhold defense contracts from companies like KBR "if they restrict their employees from taking workplace sexual assault, battery and discrimination cases to court." Speaking on the Senate floor yesterday, Franken said:Jones, who appeared with Franken after the vote, said: "It means the world to me. It means that every tear shed to go public and repeat my story over and over again to make a difference for other women was worth it." Blub.
The constitution gives everybody the right to due process of law … And today, defense contractors are using fine print in their contracts do deny women like Jamie Leigh Jones their day in court. … The victims of rape and discrimination deserve their day in court [and] Congress plainly has the constitutional power to make that happen....On the Senate floor, Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL) spoke against the amendment, calling it "a political attack directed at Halliburton." Franken responded, "This amendment does not single out a single contractor. This amendment would defund any contractor that refuses to give a victim of rape their day in court."
In the end, Franken won the debate. His amendment passed by a 68-30 vote.
[H/Ts to Shakers Constant Comment and Ivyceltress.]
Random YouTubery: What Cats Are Really Thinking
[Transcript below.]
My cats don't think it's funny at all. Matilda was all, "Nice documentary. Hey, Two-Legs, you could learn something from that, you know."
Person [off-camera dude, speaking in the baby voice frequently used to speak to pets]: Hi, kitteeeeeeee!
Cat [speaking in a dude voice: Hey. 'Sup?
Person: Hi!
Cat: What's goin' on?
Person: Were you having a nap?!
Cat: Yeah.
Person: And what did my kitty do today?!
Cat: Eh, nothin' much.
Person: Who's my kitty?! Who's my kitty?!
Cat: Don't do that.
Person: Who's my kitty?! Who's my kitty?!
Cat: Stop it.
Person: Who's my kitty with the pink little nose?! Who's my kitty?!
Cat: Urrgghh.
Person: Who's my sweet little white fluffy little ball?!
Cat [long-sufferingly]: I am.
Person: That's right! That's right! You're my sweet little KITTEEEEEEE!!!
Cat: [sighs; mutters] You'd better not put this on YouTube.
Person: What did you say? What did my kitty say?! Hmm?
Cat: Nothing!
Person: I think you said something!
Cat: Mmmph.
Person: I think my cute little kitty said something!
Cat: [mutters] Leave me aloooooone!
Quote of the Day
[Trigger warning.]
"If you're oriented toward animals, bestiality, then, you know, that's not something that can be used, held against you or any bias be held against you for that. Which means you'd have to strike any laws against bestiality, if you're oriented toward corpses, toward children, you know, there are all kinds of perversions, [...] pedophiles or necrophiliacs or what most would say is perverse sexual orientations but the trouble is, we made amendments to eliminate pedophiles from being included in the definition. [...] But people have always been willing to give up their liberties, their freedoms in order to gain economic stability. It happened in 1920 and 1930's. Germany gave up their liberties to gain economic stability and they got a little guy with a mustache, who was the ultimate hate monger. And this is scary stuff we're doing here when we take away what has traditionally been an important aspect of moral teaching in America. - Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) speaking out last night on the floor of the United States House of Representatives against the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell.
Yeah, someone has issues.
Polanski Business: In Which Emma Thompson Breaks My Heart
[Trigger warning.]
Last week, when Shaker Mathilde emailed me about more heartbreaking signatories on Bernard-Henri Lévy's pro-Polanski petition, she said, "Perhaps tomorrow Emma Thompson and Ang Lee will pop up on the list. Then the nightmare will be complete."
To which I replied, "That gave me an enormous, cathartic lolsob." Because, of course, the idea that Emma or Ang would ever sign such a thing was absurd!
Today, Mathilde emailed: "Hello, it's me again, ready to ruin your day. Just in case you didn't know: Emma Thompson signed [the] petition. And the nightmare is coming true!"
And so she has.
I really don't understand what the hell is going on in these signatories' heads; I really don't. Although... Last Saturday, I asked Kenny Blogginz if he'd happened to watch the previous night's episode of Real Time, on which Janeane Garofalo was a panelist. He said he had—and immediately knew about what I was going to ask him, because it was so weird. And it may be a clue.
Maher has been one of the few celebrities to speak out about Polanski, the hypocrite that he is; in fact, I tuned in just to see if he'd make a rape joke in the same week he lambasted Polanski, and of course he did. In his New Rules segment, he actually did a child rape joke, comparing putting a "smart choice" healthy label on Froot Loops cereal to "a creep in the park carrying a puppy so kids will know he's friendly." Yes, eating Froot Loops and being raped as a child—exactly the same.
But I digress.
In the segment he dedicated to Polanski on the episode [that link comes with its own trigger warning], he says that the widespread support for Polanski in Hollywood is "why Hollywood gets a bad rap," which prompts Garofalo to jump in and point out Hollywood is not a monolith, and then it gets wacky from there [starting at 0:50]:Maher: I mean, this is why Hollywood gets a bad rap—
Richard Dawkins then jumps in with a rape joke wrapped in a blanket statement about Muslims, and then the segment ends, so there was no follow-up on Garofalo's evident misunderstanding of the facts in the case.
Garofalo: It isn't Hollywood! You're talking about people who are supporting him— Hollywood's not this monolith of like-minded people—
Maher: A lot of people signed that petition.
Garofalo: Yeah, and a lot of people didn't. It's a—you know, Hollywood, like I said, it's not this entity that moves with one mind. You're talking about Roman Polanski and a bunch of people who, I guess, know him or admire his work. I, uh, you know, would, would I sign it? But, you know, a pedophile—I'm not gonna sign a piece of paper supporting this guy. But I guess they feel that he has been, you know, paying for this for years—
Maher: Paying for this? He lived in France!
Garofalo: Well, he couldn't come back here, right? Isn't it that he could not, he couldn't—
Maher: [snorts] Where he's from. Oh, what a—
Garofalo: Yeah, but Roman Polanski has been not allowed to work in certain places. That's what I was led to believe.
So I was left wondering who it was, exactly, that led her to believe Polanski has been "not allowed to work in certain places." I mean, technically, that's accurate—but it's because he's been a fucking fugitive, not, as it's made to sound here, because he's been "banned" from working in America in some sort of extralegal punishment unique to him.
I said to KBlogz, "Did you get the impression we were getting a glimpse behind the curtain at the narrative that's being circulated about Polanski among his industry peers?" And he said that was exactly the same impression he got when he watched it.
Which is certainly no excuse whatsoever for anyone who's put their name to that despicable petition. The facts of the case are incredibly accessible—practically unavoidable for anyone who wants to find them. It's just an observation about how deeply insulated from reality a lot of celebrities really are if they're being told and unquestioningly believe that "Free Polanski" is merely about allowing a guy to work where he's been banned by virtue of some exorbitant and extraordinary retributive gesture by the provincial and puritanical US.
I suspect that a good number of the people whose names are on that list would be utterly mortified if they learned the actual facts of the case. As well they should be. By both their public support for an unapologetic rapist, and the idiocy or ignorance that landed them in that position.
It's a sickening ledger of conscious rape apologists and the easily led fools who jumped on their mendacious bandwagon.
Clinton: Guinea's Military Leaders Should Step Down
[Strong trigger warning.]
Last week, in a rampage that got next to no media coverage in the US, Guinean soldiers in Conakry went completely haywire at a protest rally formed in opposition to Guinea's military government led by Captain Moussa Dadis Camara, who seized power in a coup last December. Dozens of people were killed in the brutally violent melee, and hundreds were wounded.
And women were particularly targeted for torture and humiliation, their clothes torn off, their bodies violated with fingers, hands, penises, rifles, gang-raped in the streets by marauding soldiers. I was, quite honestly, sobbing as I read the accounts of what happened there.
I was all set to recommend emailing our Secretary of State to urge action—but she is already on the case. (Emphasis mine.)
U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said on Tuesday Guinea's military leaders should quit after soldiers went on a rampage at a protest rally, killing more than 150 people and raping women.Clinton noted that the US will take action against Camara's regime if he does not abide by the African Union's demand that he stay out of a January election or face sanctions. Additionally, Assistant Secretary of State for African Affairs Johnnie Carson and Deputy Assistant Secretary of State William Fitzgerald have "urged Camara to restore order, control his troops, and allow an international investigation."
"We were appalled and outraged by the recent violence in Guinea," Clinton said during a news conference with Pakistan's foreign minister. "The indiscriminate killing and raping ... by government troops was a vile violation of the rights of the people of that country."
…"The leadership of Guinea owe a profound apology to the people, who had gathered in peaceful protest against the military takeover," she said. "They owe not only that apology in words, but in a recognition that they cannot remain in power, that they must turn back to the people the right to choose their own leaders."
Clinton said U.S. diplomats had spoken to Guinea's leaders in the "strongest possible terms." The State Department said U.S. officials had expressed "deep outrage" and "condemned the massacre and egregious human rights violations."
…Clinton said she was particularly appalled by the violence against women.
"In broad daylight in a stadium, it was criminality to the greatest degree," she said. "Those who committed such acts should not be given any reason to expect that they will escape justice."
Because I just need to do something when I read about a situation like this, and because I know there are other Shakers who feel the same, I am recommending making a donation to Doctors Without Borders, who are treating rape victims of the attack in Guinea.A note of thanks to our Secretary of State may be in order, too.
Guess What?
Jonah Goldberg has written the finest column ever written in the history of column-writing. It's called "In defense of Glenn Beck," and I defy you to locate a better example of writerings in America today.
I do note one wee problem in his intro, though.
For a self-described rodeo clown who frequently admits he isn't that bright, Glenn Beck must be doing something right. A de facto leader of the populist backlash against President Obama, he made the cover of Time magazine, with his tongue sticking out no less. His books are immediate best-sellers. His radio and TV shows have stratospheric ratings. His one-man comedy performances draw packed audiences, and the proceeds from his numerous ventures have him making north of $20 million a year.By Goldberg's own measure—popularity, media attention, wealth, magazine covers—I can think of a few other people who "must be doing something right," too: Al Gore, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, President Barack Obama, First Lady Michelle Obama...
Goldberg, being the free marketeer he is, might begrudgingly admit I've got a point. If the market's buying, you must be doing something right!
Except, of course, there's always the possibility you're doing something wrong, too. Just sayin'.
The rest of the column's flawless, though. Ahem.
What the Hell?
Shaker Electrasteph
With her hand, literally, in the cookie jar.
(If you've a ridiculous and/or embarrassing photo of yourself from your youth, please send it to shakerwhatthehell_at_yahoo_dot_com. I'll post them up as part of our series called What The Hell? so everyone can laugh
[See also: Deeky, Liss, evilsciencechick, katecontinued, ClumsyKisses, Mistress Sparkletoes, Liiiz, Reedme, Mama Shakes, Mustang Bobby, RedSonja, MomTFH, Portly Dyke, SteffaB, Icca, Christina, Orangelion03, Car, Siobhan, InfamousQBert, Maud, Rikibeth, MishaRN, CLD, Cheezwiz, MamaCarrie, Temeraire, somebodyoranother, goldengirl, Liss (again), summerwing, yeomanpip, Susan811, bbl, Deeky (Part II), A Daily Shakesville Fan, Sami_J, liberalandproud Temeraire: Redux, Mama Shakes II, Bonus Deeky, OuyangDan, J.Goff, Iain, Talonas, The Great Indoors, gogo, kiwi_a, em_and_ink, Tik_bev, phdintraining, Deeky Freakhands, busydani, Jenny Anne, rowmyboat, DesertRose, Steve/Pido, Anne Onymous, phredrika, The Last of the Famous International Deekys, Iain, Another Mustang Bobby, mkp-hearts-nyc, Arvan, and Norbizness.]
Question of the Day
So the other day, Deeky was bringing up the song "MacArthur Park," and it got me to thinking of another 60's/70's era song that, for whatever reason, seems to be a bit of a joke to many people (even though they were both huge hits), "The Windmills of Your Mind." It's a nice tune; I particularly like the Petula Clark version. But there's one lyric in the song that I really like; I even geekily made it my Facebook update quote the other day:
Past the minutes on its face
And the world is like an apple
Whirling silently in space
It has nothing to do with the meaning of the words; I just love the sounds the words make; these words, arranged just this way, are lovely to me. Even saying those words together I find incredibly pleasurable. Those lyrics are my "cellar door."
So, Shakers, what phrase, lyric, stanza, wev are you completely enamored with simply by the sounds they create, regardless of meaning?
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
Strips One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43. In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman and a biracial queerbait telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.
