"What?"
"You got your picture? Good. Now give me scratches, Two-Legs!"
Fat Acceptance: A Realization
by Shaker Siobhan
Today I found myself nearly in tears because I am so unhappy with my body.
And I backtracked over the last year:
I discovered the whole concept of fat acceptance via Shakesville and then Shapely Prose.
I read all the readings. I did all the research as suggested.
I leaped onto the bandwagon. I spoke up, I informed, I lectured, I gave away copies of "Lessons from the Fat-O-Sphere."
I stopped being able to have lunch with my co-workers because I couldn't handle the diet talk.
I convinced my husband we were not at death's doorstep. I convinced my mother that weight is not a scoreboard for health.
And I nearly broke down today because, after all that effort, I'm still not thin.
Back to work.
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
Strips One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41. In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman and a biracial queerbait telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.
Obligatory Polanski Thread
[TRIGGER WARNING]
Ms. Dorothy Snarker forwarded to me this post authored by filmmaker Allison Anders, "Art Is Not Enough." Not everyone in Hollywood shares the view that rapists should be given a get-out-of-jail-free card by virtue of their talent.
The Feminist Majority Foundation puts out a statement noting that the wildly misguided Peg Yorkin does not speak for them.
LeMew takes on another round of unmitigated horseshit care of Anne Applebaum.
[STRONG TRIGGER WARNING] And via Chris comes a quote from an old interview that ought to send a shiver down the spine of every single person who supports Polanski, as it reveals the depth of his contempt for the idea that he ever did anything wrong, not to mention the depth of his contempt for girls and women (emphasis original):
"If I had killed somebody, it wouldn't have had so much appeal to the press, you see? But...fucking, you see, and the young girls. Judges want to fuck young girls. Juries want to fuck young girls. Everyone wants to fuck young girls!"Shame on anyone who reads that and still supports him.
Friday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by Shaxco, whose official workplace policy discourages making a habit of sleeping with subordinates.
Recommended Reading:
Marcella: Carnival Against Sexual Violence 79
Bao Phi: Fong Lee, and Violence
Renee: Bird Feces Used to Scare Away Homeless
Audacia Ray: New Female Condoms Are For Sale in the US
Matt: Feminism at Work
Andy: Haven't North Carolina Gays Waited Long Enough for Marriage?
Leave your links in comments...
Geez, I Was Just Trying to Be Nice to Make Myself Feel Good
So, Iain bought the most recent issue of Esquire, because Matt Damon is on the cover and we are a very pro-Damon household. The Damon cover story, which is about his charity work with Water.org, is very good. The rest of the content, as is typical of Esquire, is total shit.
Which does, in fairness, make it perfect bathroom reading.
This morning, I read this article, which is about a dude's personal crusade to find out how to deliver the perfect compliment. It's sort of like climbing Everest, except with more shouting at people on the street.
And—wouldn't you know it?—some people are ingrates who don't accept his compliments. And some people give him a case of the sads, like the guy whose complimented-on jacket turned out to be his dead brother's.
But learning to give the perfect compliment is still an endeavor worth pursuing—because giving the perfect compliment (or even a pretty good one) makes the person feel good, which makes him feel good, and isn't making yourself feel good really what giving compliments is all about?
You'll no doubt be happy to hear—spoiler alert!—that our intrepid reporter finally manages to deliver a real zinger. And if you guessed that it was from One Man to Another About Important Manly Things, give yourself 1,000 points.
I encourage you to read the whole thing. Raise your hand when you find the heterocentrism, and just blurt out to the whole class any patterns you notice in his compliments (hint: keep your eyes peeled for sexism and classism!).
This? Would be the sort of thing I'm talking about when I say stuff like this doesn't exist in a cultural void.
Discuss.
Helen Thomas Rules
I so want to be Helen Thomas when I grow up:
On Thursday afternoon, Thomas gave a clinic in fortitude to President Obama's spokesman, Robert Gibbs, during the briefing. "Has the president given up on the public option?" she inquired from her front-row-middle seat.He also responded, "Wow!" Yeah, it's shocking to see a journalist actually care about something other than access, isn't it?! Like, whoa!
The press secretary laughed at this repetition of a common Thomas inquiry, but this questioner, who has covered every president since Kennedy, wasn't about to be silenced. "I ask it day after day because it has great meaning in this country, and you never answer it," she said.
"Well, I -- I -- I apparently don't answer it to your satisfaction," Gibbs stammered.
"That's right," Thomas snarled.
"I -- I'll -- I'll give you the same answer that I gave you unsatisfactorily for many of those other days," Gibbs offered. "It's what the president believes in --"
"Is he going to fight for it or not?" Thomas snapped.
"We're going to work to get choice and competition into health-care reform" was Gibbs's vague response.
Thomas took that as a no. "You're not going to get it," she advised.
"Then why do you keep asking me?" Gibbs inquired.
"Because I want your conscience to bother you," Thomas replied. The room erupted; Gibbs reddened.
By the way, video of the exchange shows that Thomas asked her devastating questions in her usual matter-of-fact and nigh-cheerful demeanor; she neither "snarled" nor "snapped" at Gibbs. But that's what you get when a misogynist asshole covers the news. Perhaps we need to ask the WaPo's ombudsman why they are ignoring obvious evidence that Dana Milbank's sexism is spilling into and compromising the accuracy of his reporting.
[Previously in Helen rocking: Here and here.]
Letterman Admits Extortion Plot; Sexual Liaisons With Staffers
[Trigger warning.]
Last night on his show, David Letterman took ten minutes to share with his audience the story of an extortion plot—including the writing of a fake $2 million check, his testimony in front of a grand jury, and the arrest yesterday afternoon of the extortionist—and also confessed, without details like when or why, to having had sex with female employees of the show.
Despite the idiotic headline, this piece very accurately summarizes the segment, which I found to be profoundly uncomfortable to watch, even knowing the content of what he was going to say. Throughout the story, he refers obliquely to the "creepy stuff" he'd done, over which he was being extorted, and the moment where he at last reveals what the "creepy stuff" was (at 7:40), the reaction from the studio audience is, well, rather creepy itself—even given all the relevant excuses for nervous responses, etc.
[Starting at 7:40]Part of the reaction is discernibly "Way to go, Dave!" from people who think it's great he's had loads of HOT SEXXX WITH CHICKS, but part of the reaction is palpable relief that the "creepy stuff" wasn't worse: At least he's no Polanski.
Now, of course, we get to: What was it, what was all the creepy stuff [audience laughs] that he was going to put into the screenplay and the [book], and, uh, the creepy stuff was that I have had sex with women who work for me on this show. [audience murmurs] Now, my response to that is: Yes, I have. [audience laughs] I have had sex with women who worked on this show. [audience applauds] And, and would it be embarrassing if it were made public? Perhaps it would. Perhaps it would. [audience laughs] Especially for the women! [audience laughs and applauds]
No. Not according to him, anyway. According to him, it was just some consensual sex with some ladies who happen to work for him—as if that's incidental and not a major ethical problem, even if they weren't coerced by virtue of their employment.
I suppose such questions are easily drowned out by laughter at self-deprecating jokes about "Lutheran Midwestern guilt" and how embarrassing it would be for his conquests for people to know they had sex with him. Har har.
Jesus. I'm so done with this fucking week.
Iain Does Not Have Olympic Fever
He and his coworkers in downtown Chicago are listening to President Obama on the radio, speechifying about the city's Olympic bid. He emails:
He's blowing on about Chicago, the Olympics, hopes, dreams, achievement, etc, etc. His voice is starting to irritate me almost as much as Bush's did. All I can think is 'I don't give a shit about dreaming; just get a good fucking health care bill passed.' Playtime is over.
Feel the Homomentum!
In a first for Texas, a judge ruled Thursday that two men married in another state can divorce here and that the state's ban on gay marriage violates the U.S. Constitution.It's not so much that this case brings Texas to the brink of legalized same-sex marriage, because it doesn't. It's that the decision reflects changing attitudes across the country toward same-sex marriage; this decision wouldn't have happened 10 years ago.
Both a voter-approved state constitutional amendment and the Texas Family Code prohibit same-sex marriages or civil unions.
Although the case is far from settled, and the state's constitutional ban on gay marriage is a long way from being thrown out, Dallas state District Judge Tena Callahan's ruling says the state prohibition of same-sex marriage violates the federal constitutional right to equal protection.
Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott had intervened in the two men's divorce case, arguing that because a gay marriage isn't recognized in Texas, a Texas court can't dissolve one through divorce.
Callahan, a Democrat, denied the attorney general's intervention and said her court "has jurisdiction to hear a suit for divorce filed by persons legally married in another jurisdiction."
And then there's this: Every challenge that arises because of legal marriage in one state, which another state then refuses to recognize, exposes DOMA for the folly it is, and once DOMA's gone, the days of states banning same-sex marriage are numbered.
[H/Ts to Shakers bhastronomer and InfamousQBert.]
Half of These Things Are Not Like the Others
The Seattle Post-Intelligencer—a local paper, now online-only, that's always looking for new ways to create eyeball-generating galleries of half-naked women—is currently featuring a gallery of "sexiest female sports personalities." There's also a sub-gallery of "sexiest male sports personalities," but separate doesn't exactly mean equal.
Let's look at a typical example: Seattle's second-"sexiest" women in sports, lingerie football team member Jenna Bloczynski:
... and one of the "sexiest" men, Seattle Seahawk Matt Hasselbeck:
Needless to say, all of the guys in the male photo essay are fully clothed. Unlike the women, who include two sportscasters, they also all play actual sports (cheerleading as sport may be debatable, but lingerie "football" is about as much a sport as lingerie Jello wrestling). And all of them are praised either for their sports prowess or the "hotness" of the women they've bagged (Seattle Sounder Freddie Lgungberg has dated "beautiful babes"; Patrick Kerney "up-chicked" by shacking up with the No. 1-ranking "sexiest" woman, newscaster Lisa Gangel).
The women, in contrast, are universally described in terms of their looks, not their abilities (two are sportscasters; one's a cheerleader): For example, Gangel is "the hottest ticket in town"; Bloczynski is a "sassy brunette"; Seattle Storm center Lauren Jackson is a "swimsuit model" who once appeared nude in a magazine; and University of Washington softball pitcher Danielle Lawrie "can't decide if she wants to be a blonde or a brunette." Which is relevant to her pitching... how?
Incidentally, the reason I stumbled across the photo spread is that KING-5—the TV station for which Gangel works—put the story on their official Twitter feed, encouraging readers to comment. Wonder how Gangel feels about that?
Awesome. Totally Awesome.
…the universe is awesome using the original version, the meaning, of the word "awesome," yeah? Not the new one, which is sort of for socks and hotdogs. [puts on American accent; points down, as if at socks] "Hey, red and yellow—awesome! You got red and yellow socks? They're awesome!" [back to English accent] You know, and—but, if they were, you wouldn't be [makes regular face]—you'd be [makes awed face and gasps three times].'Cuz, you know, I thought we could all use a little Eddie.
I saw an advert for awesome hotdogs [puts on American accent], only two-ninety-nine. [back to English accent] If they were awesome, you'd be going [hyperventilating], "I cannot…breathe…for the…way the sausage is held by the bun…it is…it is…speaking to me…it is saying…we are lips and thighs…of a donkey…please eat us…but do not think that we are lips when you eat us…otherwise you'll…throw up." [laughs] Which is true.
It's awesome—and America needs the old version of awesome, because you're the only ones going into space. You've got a bitta cash. And you go up there—and you need awesome, because you're gonna be going to the next sun to ours, and your president's going to be on the line saying [mimes speaking into headset; puts on American accent], "Can you tell me, Astronaut, tell me what it's like."
"It's, uh, it's awesome, sir."
"What—like a hotdog?"
"It's like a hundred billion hotdogs, sir. Sir, it's the dog's bollocks, that's what it is."
Winner: Stupid Things Said About Polanski Today Contest
Peg Yorkin, founder of the Feminist Majority Foundation (!!!):
My personal thoughts are let the guy go. It's bad a person was raped. But that was so many years ago. The guy has been through so much in his life. It's crazy to arrest him now. Let it go. The government could spend its money on other things.Yeah, let it go, ya stinking puritans. Sheesh.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go hit myself in the head with a tack hammer just so I can focus on something other than how much I want to SMASH THINGS!!!!!
[Previous Winners: Peter Fonda.]
Hey, Here's Something That Isn't Incidental
You know that revoltingly-titled documentary-whitewash, Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired, which many people are citing as evidence that he couldn't have gotten a fair trial blah blah yawn…?
Turns out one of the key pieces of "evidence" that Polanski had reason to run was based on a total fucking lie:
Former Los Angeles prosecutor David Wells said he lied to the makers of the 2008 documentary "Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired" about his role in the sentencing of Polanski on charges of having sex with a minor.Oh, well, that's all right then.
The statement became part of the basis for a move by Polanski's attorneys to dismiss the case because of prosecutorial misconduct.
"I'm a guy who cuts to the chase - I lied," Wells said Wednesday.
Wells said he embellished his role because he was told the documentary would air in France, not the United States.
All of which is, you know, still beside the point—much like the argument that the incident was "consensual sex" (it wasn't) as if that's some kind of mitigating factor. But I thought I'd note nonetheless that the rape apologists' horseshit is based not merely on tissue-thin reasoning and nonexistent ethics; it's also based on a web of lies.
News from Shakes Manor
Iain [by email]: The Smiths' Johnny Marr: 'Morrissey and I email'—Cribs guitarist says he's in contact with singer again.
Liss: *clit explodes*
Iain: Work email, lol.
[Previously.]
Today's Edition of "Conniving and Sinister"
Strips One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40. In which Liss reimagines the long-running comic "Frank & Ernest," about two old straight white guys "telling it like it is," as a fat feminist white woman and a biracial queerbait telling it like it actually is from their perspectives. Hilarity ensues.
