After Sady drank some Very Manly Vodka and turned into a sexy private eye with facial hair that makes Butch Pornstache quiver with envy right down to the tips of his truck nutz, I had to see what kind of man I'd be after partaking of some Very Manly Vodka myself.
After:
ROCK. And all my clothes still fit, too!
Boozing My Way to Manliness
Friday Blogaround
This blogaround brought to you by Shaxco, shameless purveyors of the Radical Gay Feminazi Cooter Agenda.
Recommended Reading:
Kevin: Ruling-Class Gays Close Ranks With Obama
Clio Bluestocking: Daddy Issues
The Rotund: Ron Reagan as Concern Troll
Cara: UK Officials Assigned to Fight Rape Actually Promote Rape Myths
The Red Queen: A Fetus By Any Other Name
Tigtog: 64 Birthday Words for Aung San Suu Kyi
Renee: A Study in Ableism
Leave your links in comments...
Losing One of the Family
I'm sad to have to pass on the news that Andante, the keeper of the blog Collective Sigh, passed away on Tuesday, June 16, 2009.
Although I never met her in person, Andante was a bright spot in my blogging life. She was one of the first to link to my site back in 2003 and she was a charter member of the Liberal Coalition. She had a wit and charm that made me laugh out loud, and even when she was facing her illness, she did it with the type of humor and courage that showed a resolve of steel and a heart of gold. She described herself as "a white, middle-aged, Southern Belle Don't-Wannabe. Watch me and my hooped-skirt give new meaning to the act of 'mooning'."
And if she brightened the lives of so many people who never met her, I can only imagine the love and wonder she gave those who knew her in person and in their lives. My thoughts are with her family. If you like, please stop by her site and pass on your thoughts and wishes to her daughter Mary (Andantette) and her family.
Go in peace, Andante.
(The photo is from the sidebar of her blog with the following caption: "Never mess with a woman brave enough to put up her third grade picture.")
Cross-posted.
I Write Letters
Dear Trent Reznor,
I can't be your boyfriend now.
We're through.
Hey, look, you know I've bought every one of your albums, even the shitty ones. Even the one you gave away free, because I just have to have a tangible, physical copy of my music; call me old-fashioned if you want.
And even though I may be old-fashioned, there are some things I am so not cool with: Like misogyny. Like calling women fat cunts.
(I do find it interesting, in its own weird way, that you seem to regard calling someone a cunt better than calling them fat. But I think that says more about you than it does me.)
I understand these people said some pretty vile things.
And I also understand you're a rock star and are therefore expected to be all edgy and in-yer-face and whatnot, and because of said rock stardom most people will give you a pass for your boorish behavior. But I'm not most people, and I expect the men in my life to act like men, to act like grown-ups, not petulant little name-calling children. Not petulant little name-calling, misogynist children
So, that's it. We're through.
No Longer Yours,
Deeky
Disturbing Study on Sexual Assault in South Africa
[Strong trigger warning.]
To say that South Africa has a rape problem is insufficient. South Africa has a rape problem of gargantuan proportions, where woman are raped on live television, where a man will use as his defense for raping his granddaughters the excuse that he could no longer afford to pay prostitutes, where gangs of men engage in "corrective rape" of lesbians, where the highest incidence of reported rape in the world meets with one of the lowest conviction rates.
And now a study done by South Africa's Medical Research Council, in which a representative sample of 1,738 men in South Africa's Eastern Cape and KwaZulu-Natal provinces were interviewed, has found that a shocking one in four South African men admit to having raped, frequently more than once.The study into rape and HIV, by the country's Medical Research Council (MRC), asked men to tap their answers into a Palm Pilot device to guarantee anonymity. The method appears to have produced some unusually frank responses.
Professor Rachel Jewkes of the MRC, who led the research team, attributes the prevalence of rape in South Africa "to ideas about masculinity based on gender hierarchy and the sexual entitlement of men. It's rooted in an African ideal of manhood." Dean Peacock, co-director of the Sonke Gender Justice project, pointed to South Africa's current president, Jacob Zuma, who, before his election, was tried for rape but eventually acquitted, and is a polygamist and unapologetic misogynist: "We hear men saying, 'If Jacob Zuma can have many wives, I can have many girlfriends.' The hyper-masculine rhetoric of the Zuma campaign is going to set back our work in challenging the old model of masculinity."
…Of those surveyed, 28% said they had raped a woman or girl, and 3% said they had raped a man or boy. Almost half who said they had carried out a rape admitted they had done so more than once, with 73% saying they had carried out their first assault before the age of 20. … One in 20 men said they had raped a woman or girl in the last year.
There is also a persistent myth in South Africa (among other places on the continent) that having sex with a virgin will cure HIV, which may help contexualize this part of the study's findings:The study, which had British funding, also found that men who are physically violent towards women are twice as likely to be HIV-positive. They are also more likely to pay for sex and to not use condoms.
Sometimes it feels like there aren't enough teaspoons in the world.
Any woman raped by a man over the age of 25 has a one in four chance of her attacker being HIV-positive.
If you'd like to get involved, check out these organizations engaged in the fight for gender justice in South Africa: Womans Legal Centre, Women's Net, Athena Network. Please add your recommendations in comments.
UPDATE: Also see: One in Nine Campaign Aimed at Improving Rape Survivors' Access to Justice in South Africa.
Uppity Bitch
Senator Barbara Boxer: Well, why has it been delayed?This is a scene from the Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works earlier this week, at which was being discussed the restoration of New Orleans' still-damaged levee system. Though it might look to untrained eyes to be video of a woman asking to be addressed by the appropriate title in a professional space (or even a clever little bit of gameswomanship), it is actually hilarious evidence of what an uppity bitch Senator Boxer is (and, by extension, liberal/womanist/feminist women are).
Brigadier General Michael Walsh: Uh, ma'am, at the LACPR—
Boxer: You know, do me a favor, could you say "Senator" instead of "ma'am"? It's just a thing—
Walsh: Yes, Senator.
Boxer: —I worked so hard to get that title, so I'd appreciate it. [giggles and mumbling in background] Yes, thank you.
Walsh: Yes, Senator.
Jimmy Orr, at the Christian Science Monitor, asks: "Ever wonder what Eric Cartman might sound like if he was in Congress? Wonder no more…" Cartman, for those who don't know, is an inhabitant of South Park—an adolescent sociopath who routinely demands in abject futility: "Respect mah authoritay!" Animated asshole Eric Cartman and respected Senator Barbara Boxer: Like two peas in a pod.
The visceral reactions to this in various threads have been extremely informative. Echidne calls her post (recommended reading) "Senator Cuntface," an epithet she snagged from the YouTube comments on this video. Along with every other variation on "Senator + Misogynist Slur," I've seen her called "Barb," "Barbara," "Mrs. Boxer," "Senator Dirtbag," "Madame Dingbat," and dozens of other monikers that are not Senator Boxer—which illustrates precisely why a woman in her position might insist on being called by her proper title: Because not using it is often a sign of deliberate disrespect.
Ultimately, the exchange was nothing more than a woman politely asking a man to treat her respectfully, and that man politely agreeing to do so. There's absolutely nothing controversial about it, aside from the fact that it still drives lots of people bonkers to see a woman stand up for herself in public and demand the respect she's earned.
In Things That Exhaust Me
Being told I "don't know how things work"—like the government, or corporate America, or the entertainment industry, or any other lumbering institution corrupt with institutional prejudices, glad-handing nepotism, and ferocious gatekeeping that veritably requires checking probity at the door in exchange for access—when, it fact, I absolutely do know they work, but think it's total bullshit.
Expecting integrity is not naïve. It is merely a refusal to settle for the same old shit.
Question of the Day
We haven't done this one in awhile... And it's a two-parter:
1. Which movie that you loved as a kid still holds up when you watch it now?
2. Which one doesn't?
Leaving aside more obvious favies like the original Star Wars trilogy and the Indiana Jones movies for more esoteric shores, I'll answer part 1 with Dragonslayer, which still looks pretty damn good effects-wise and has a female lead who isn't laughably shameful. Iain had never seen it when we met, so I got it on DVD, and he really liked it. I also recently loaned it to Kenny Blogginz, who'd also never seen it, and liked it, too. They both wondered why they'd never even heard of it before; I don't know why it's not more widely considered a classic fantasy film.
I'll answer part 2 with The Dark Crystal. Don't get me wrong; I still adore TDC (Aughra, I love you), but what were fantastic and scary creatures when I was 8 are now obviously dudez in costumes on stilts (or wev). But the realistic movement and lifefulness of the dudez on stilts is what made it so wonderful when I was a kid and lacked the capacity to see it as I do now, so I'm not complaining.
For outright "OMG this movie is so bad" after thinking it was good when I was a kid, I offer Solarbabies. Wow.
Virtually Criminal
As you may recall, the Bush administration had what can be charitably called "email problems," as in many of its members claimed not to use government email while using outside domains, which was, by all appearances, a violation of the Presidential Records Act.
So, two years ago, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) "sued the Bush White House for both its refusal to restore the millions of missing White House emails and its failure to put in place an effective electronic record keeping system," and now the Obama White House has, following a series of negotiations, released documents which, unfortunately, hardly provide a clear picture, as they "represent only a small percentage of the promised records, and appear to be part of a set of documents already provided to the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee in 2007 and 2008," and contain prolific redactions. Even still, the documents appear to support CREW's allegations:
These documents confirm Bush White House officials knew they were failing to properly archive records and made several attempts to develop an email archiving system. Although some officials described the development of such a system as a "number 1 priority," the efforts were either unsuccessful or abandoned for unexplained reasons. The documents make clear some administration officials were aware of the problem as early as February 2004, when the White House was attempting to respond to an unidentified grand jury subpoena from the Justice Department.Meet the new boss...oh, you know.
The documents confirm that in October 2005, the White House discovered millions of emails had disappeared. The documents also show that emails Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald had subpoenaed in connection with the Valerie Plame Wilson leak investigation were missing from Vice President Cheney’s office.
In providing these documents to CREW and the National Security Archive (which brought a separate lawsuit now consolidated with CREW's), the Obama administration marked some of the documents "sensitive," and therefore not subject to public disclosure, and redacted the identities and contact information of virtually all individuals named in the documents.
Many questions remain and the White House has promised to release more documents shortly. For example, there are approximately 38 boxes of documents the administration plans to review for disclosure. These boxes contain records related to the White House's discovery of the missing email problem as well as proposals to address the issue and implement effective electronic recordkeeping. CREW is also awaiting documents regarding the limited effort to restore some of the missing emails that was begun by the Bush White House and is continuing. CREW anticipates these additional documents will fill in more of the blanks and will inform the public whether the White House is finally on the right track with its electronic record keeping practices.Sigh.
Breaking News: Beth Ditto Is Fat
The Daily Mail manages to point out that Beth Ditto is fat three times in one headline: "Fashion's big fat lie about Kate Moss's big fat friend: Size zero brigade embrace a token chubby-chops." Big, fat, and chubby? I still think they could do better.
"Fashion's big fat lie about Kate Moss's big fat chunky lardass of a friend, the potbellied porcine Beth Ditto, zaftig frontwoman of The Gossip: Size zero brigade embrace, but can barely fit their arms around the rotund curves of, a token corpulent chubby-chops. And did we mention she's a fatty-fat-fat? FAT!"
Come on, Daily Mail. You're barely trying.
[H/T to Shaker Jessika, who notes: "The magazine cover and the picture of her smiling in the silver dress are great. Just ignore the words," a recommendation I second.]
Get Well Soon, Hils!
Ouch:
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton fell down on her way to the White House late Wednesday afternoon, fracturing her right elbow, her Counselor and Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills said in a statement issued shortly before midnight.The fall is just a cover story. It's really a repetitive strain injury sustained from four decades of nudging dudez in the ribs to get shit done or get the hell out of her way. Feminist elbow.
Clinton was treated at The George Washington University Hospital before going home.
She will undergo surgery to repair the damage next week, the statement said.
"Secretary Clinton appreciates the professionalism and kindness she received from the medical team who treated her this evening and looks forward to resuming her full schedule soon," Mills said.
Today in Bad Ideas and Good Ideas
Bad Idea: Former President George W. Bush firing "a salvo at President Obama on Wednesday, asserting his administration's interrogation policies were within the law, declaring the private sector—not government—will fix the economy and rejecting the nationalization of health care."
Good Idea: Former President George W. Bush shutting the fuck up.
Quote of the Day
"The white Christian heterosexual married male is the epitome of everything right with America, and yet it is the white Christian heterosexual married male who has been made the beast of America."—Michael Savage, who, like most conservatives, doesn't understand that it's not being white that's bad, but privileging whiteness, and it's not being Christian that's bad, but privileging Christianity, and it's not being straight that's bad, but privileging straightness, and it's not being married that's bad, but privileging marriage, and it's not being male that's bad, but privileging men and maleness. What's bad is not being these things, but benefiting from the undeserved privilege conferred upon them. The beast is not the white Christian heterosexual married male, but the white person, or the Christian person, or the heterosexual person, or the married person, or the man who sits on hir laurels not challenging the institutions that grant them a birthright of unearned privilege, access, and opportunity.
Grow Up
I've read a lot of dire stuff written about the dudebro misogycom The Hangover, not least of which reports of its box office receipts (sob), but this piece by Marc Hirsh may well take the cake:
The Hangover, you see, is a raunchy, R-rated boy comedy that ends at a wedding. So was I Love You, Man. And Wedding Crashers. And The 40-Year-Old Virgin. And American Wedding (the third movie in the venerable American Pie franchise.)No, how you get 27 Dresses, Made of Honor, and Bride Wars is a bunch of lazy, misogynist execs who run the lazy, misogynist film studios in the lazy, misogynist town called Hollywood that's the epicenter of our lazy, misogynist mainstream pop culture in which substituting eleventy million lazy, misogynist variations on the princess-finds-her-prince tale for real stories about women is considered the best possibly strategy to try to attract that consternating Woman demographic which—inexplicably!—doesn't spend as much at the movies as their (straight, white) male counterpart, whose lives have been told on film in every infinitesimal aspect from the Earth to the Moon and back again.
That should be surprising, considering that weddings are, in moviethink, the exclusive province of women. That's how you get 27 Dresses, Made Of Honor and Bride Wars.
But I digress. We were talking about The Hangover.
Hirsh's piece essentially boils down to his contention that "raunchy, R-rated boy comedies" can't be all bad if they end in a wedding!
[T]here's something to the fact that all the debauchery, all of the bad behavior, all of the boys-will-be-boys-ness ultimately leads to simple connubial bliss in the end.And once again, here's where a little dose of feminism might be useful for the blokes: Consenting to one's "domestication"—obligingly, reluctantly—is a terrible idea. It's a commitment to a concept, rather than a person, from which only a slow erosion of one's personhood and ambition will result, a betrayal of self. And it's no gift to your partner, or your kid, either.
…As much as their experiences in the movie change [the dudez of The Hangover], it turns them into better husbands and fathers. It's the same message that can be gleaned from the conclusions of so many other raunchy, R-rated boy comedies. They might as well be saying, "See? Give us enough time and we'll still do the right thing! What are you so worried about, ladies?" As it turns out, The Hangover isn't about men gone wild, it's about their domestication.
We are meant to grow up before we promise ourselves to anyone else, instead of expecting marriage, or parenthood, to magically turn us into adults who want those things, after the fact. We are not meant to ask our partners and kids to patiently wait for us (or, worse yet, help us) to grow into the person we promised them we already were—someone ready, someone who wanted them.
That is not an argument against marriage, nor parenting. It is an argument against axiomatically regarding marriage and/or parenting as the best choice(s) for everyone. It isn't "doing the right thing" to agree to become a husband, or a father, if you don't want it, deeply and unequivocally.
This is also not a treatise that leaves no room for making mistakes, for the follies of youth and the unintentional pain we all have the capacity to inflict on others, for unavoidable broken hearts. Sometimes what starts out right, goes wrong.
But if you're still a selfish, immature asshole who thinks blackout bachelor parties in Vegas are awesome, and you treat getting married or being a father like it's doing someone else a favor, just being a stand-up guy, then you're not doing the right thing. Not even close. You're doing the expected thing.
And there is a vast chasm of difference.
No one benefits, no one, from talking about entering marriage, or taking on parenthood, as getting domesticated and doing the right thing. Marriage and parenthood entail obligations, but we are not obliged to embark on either journey in the first place.
We have choices. Watching arrested adolescents make the wrong ones like some rite of passage into an adulthood they aren't even sure they want is sorrowful, and hardly cause for huzzahs.
Fierce Advocate, My Fat Ass
I've got a new piece up at The Guardian's Comment is free America about Obama's failure to serve his LGBTQI constituency:
It doesn't really come as a surprise that President Barack Obama, he of the Donnie McClurkin campaign concert and Rick Warren inaugural invocation, isn't the fierce advocate he once promised to be for the LGBTQI community. But even though it's not a surprise, it's still a disappointment.Read the whole thing here.
Although some might say that campaign promises are made to be broken, surely he knows that not all campaign promises are equal. Some cannot be made casually, like promises to end a war. A promise to be an ally, no less a fierce ally, to marginalised people who suffer institutional discrimination, whose inequality is codified into our very laws, who live at disproportionate risk for hate crimes because of the violent prejudice woven into our national fabric, is the kind of promise that cannot be made casually.
...I am well aware of the arguments against his truly leading on this important civil rights issue and pressing the Democratic majority in Congress to get things rolling. I know there are people who say it's politically risky. But so is sweeping healthcare reform. The only difference is that Obama is willing to take the stand that healthcare reform is both necessary and the right thing to do.
Oy
DDay on the emerging healthcare fiasco:
This just perfectly captures the fact that there's an America inside the Village and one outside. Outside the Beltway, more than 3/4 of all Americans believe "it's important for Americans to have a choice between a public/government insurance plan and a private one." Inside the Beltway, Republicans and insurance companies don't like it, so we should just scrap it. Daschle is essentially saying that the prospect of reform is too important to actually include reform.Go read the whole thing.
...Tom Daschle has been folding like a cheap suit since before I was born. And he's no longer in Congress or the White House. But this is the kind of bipartisan Village elder circle jerk that gets all the ink in Washington.
Also see: Ezra.
Important Announcement
My internet is made of suck this week.
My provider, who we'll call Cromcrast, is punishing my ass for spending too much quality time with the Instant Queue at Netflix. "TOO MUCH BANDWIDTH FOR YOU! NOW YOU GO SLOW LIKE 26K MODEM FOR A WEEK!" I'm glad I pay through the wazoo for top-of-the-line service from 1994.
I ask you: Is it my fault my husband is addicted to Meerkat Manor?
No. It is not.
Zack at 16
by Shaker Caitiecat, who really was the boy who got her period, when she was 10, and it wasn't anywhere near as low-key, amusing, or easy to deal with as this...(intersexed ftw!) She's much-pleased by Melissa's request to write to this topic, and hopes that her writing her might someday allow her to aspire to the name of Pretty Princess Cunt of Fuck Mountain.
[Be sure to read the first installment of Shaker alexmac's excellent series on Trans 101 Chez Shakesville.]
Liss sent me a link to this site, which shows a series of "viral videos" released by Tampax. And yes, that's really odd. The video purports to follow a kid named Zack, a 16-year-old boy, who wakes up one day with "girl parts down there." So I went to watch it, and grabbed a sheet of paper to keep some notes on.
My first note I can only read part of, but I think it says "version of trans experience," and "safe—when you're only visiting." I stopped trying to take notes after that, because I couldn't write fast enough to write down all the stuff that came to me. So here's me trying to remember it all.
I think this series has some things that could have gone really, really well, and I do give them a bit of credit for that. But I think this is an important point: this is a bit like grabbing some shoe polish, and after a day of blackface, declaring you understand the black experience. Some of the dysphoria that Zack's experiencing definitely sounds familiar. But he's only visiting: He's dropping in as a teenager, and finding that having a body that doesn't agree with one's mental construct of oneself is, in short, sucktacular. Welcome to my world, dudebro.
But he gets to do the power version: Because he's an "innocent," in a way (he didn't want this, it just happened to him, and he can show all kinds of proof that he's really a boy despite his genitalia; compare to the reactions people had to people living with HIV, who would go out of their way to make the point that they weren't some dirty drug addict or homosexual, y'know, they'd gotten it like nice people do, by having a blood transfusion). He has many, many ways of asserting his male identity, despite his female genitals, and he really doesn't even need to assert it: No one's calling him by the wrong pronouns, no one's denying his identity, no one's calling him by the wrong name or forcing him to wear clothes that don't match his gender, he still goes to the prom and has a girlfriend and so on and so on and so on).
And before it's mentioned that this is a subtle trans-positive video, let me point out a few things:
1) He refers repeatedly to his inability to be a "real boyfriend" to his girlfriend anymore (because, as we all know, Real Men Have Flesh Penises As Original Equipment, and Trans Men Don't Exist). This is about as anti-feminist as you can get: pure, 100% weapons-grade genital-essentialism, right there: You are what you have in your pants.
2) In that very first commercial, we see him talking with his best friend, whom he characterizes as an idiot—but whose friendship he retains anyway, casting some doubt on that declaration, I'd say. This friend, by way of an insult, calls him "a little girl." The insult is unremarked upon, and Zack doesn't even disagree: In fact, he's willing to be labeled that because, hey, genital-essentialism—he's got girl bits, so of course it's appropriate to deride him by calling him a girl. It's not insulting to women at all! By his acceptance of it, the campaign tacitly agrees: Being a little girl is a bad thing.
3) There's a subtext when he talks about his penis: He says it "disappeared," and it certainly gave me the impression that we're to think of male genitalia as a positive, and female as the absence of that positive.
4) There's a not-at-all subtle thread of "girls are inherently weepy, emotional, chick-flick-loving people."
But I think what bothers me the most about it is how easy it all is for him. He's not depressed, or suicidal, or self-hating, or raging at the world for its unfairness, or many of the other reactions I've seen from a huge number of trans folk I've known over the years. Because of his unassailable masculinity, his "problem" is, for him, more of an opportunity. Not like some lazy woman, y'know, who wouldn't know how to properly exploit her girl-bits. He's not uncertain, not self-doubting, not self-harming, he's not drinking or doing drugs or any other type of escapism to get away from his body.
It sort of frames the trans experience as one of a bunch of whiny drama-seekers: Look, if a white straight man got into this situation, he'd just use his innate superiority to handle it perfectly, and be sure that it wouldn't affect his life, not like those whiny freaks who actually choose this life. Hell, he'd probably do it while tossing back shots of Chivas Regal or bottles of Dos Equis and feeling up sexually assaulting pageant-winners.
If this were more like real life, when he changed, everyone would know he'd changed. And they'd all refuse to use masculine pronouns or her boy-name. And her family would throw her out, calling her names. She'd be refused housing, and employment, and maybe even treatment as she lay dying from a car accident. Or beaten up waiting for a bus. And they'd all be insisting she didn't know what she was doing, and aren't women stupid to think they can be men, and she'd get no dates from all the cool kids, and some guys would try to show her how much she wasn't a guy by raping her.
Cause, y'see, that is a lot more like what trans people live with. And it's not making our lives any easier by dismissing our experience, trivializing it, showing us how a good strong white straight man could deal with it so much better than all us whiny pervs.
Throw in the various grimly misogynist elements, and this is...well, kinda what we've come to expect from the industry which brought us "Have a Happy Period."
I think one other thing needs to be looked at, and here I'm asking questions, rather than answering them:
What's the point here? Why are they trying this to sell us their over-processed, possibly-toxic-shock-inducing products?
Why did it seem to be a good idea to use a 16-year-old boy to sell tampons to women?
In some ways, I think this is one of those things where the sexism is just like smog: We don't see it, cause we're breathing it. Because the only ways I can see any value to them in choosing this path are these:
1) Bog-standard sexism path: "Ah, a man endorses this brand, it must be good."
2) Hipster: "I'm down with transgenderedist folk, some of my best friends are..."
3) Humour: "Ha ha, it's funny because it's not a penis!"
Can anyone see a reason why this might have seemed like a good idea? I admit, I'm stumped. I can't figure out how someone looked at this pitch and thought, "Yes, that's it! Exactly what we need to sell tampons: We'll get the teenage girls to identify with a teenage boy ridiculing their bodies! Surely that'll boost our sales!"
Anyone?*
-------------------------------
* Being a geek, this feels like an urgent moment to use the old trope: "Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?" And before I found out what a douchebag fuckneck retrojackhole turd Ben Stein is, I probably would have used it. Now it makes me think of the aforementioned d.b.f.n.r.j.h.turd, and that makes me annoyed, so it's taken all the fun out of it.
