A number of people have emailed me with questions like: "Is Liss OK?!" "What can I do to help?"
In response to one person, I basically said: "Yes, Liss is OK -- she's taking time to feel and think and consider what she needs in order to keep her role at Shakesville healthy and sustainable for her, while also creating a community that is healthy and sustainable."
I suggested to the person inquiring, and want to suggest to the entire Shakesville community, that there may be a very good way to "help" both Melissa and the community in general.
If this community feels like "yours" too -- if it matters to you, and benefits you, and moves you forward, or inspires you -- if you've already donated and you want to know what more to do, or you're not able to donate money but you want to know what you can do -- I'd like to suggest that, during this time while things are quiet at Shakesville, that those of us who consider ourselves a part of this community do what Melissa is doing right now -- that we consider our roles here, and how to play them in ways that are healthy for us and healthy for the community -- that we think about what we are bringing to the community, and what we take away, and whether that's in balance.
For me, that's a great exercise even if (horrors!) Shakesville didn't continue -- to mine the wealth of my experience here, and understand what works and what doesn't, what moves me forward or holds me back when I enter into something that I dearly desire -- a sense of a broader, more diverse, and progressing community.
Just a suggestion.
(Note: If you've emailed me and I haven't responded, please give me a nudge. I'm not ignoring you -- I've been extremely busy the past couple of days.)
Turning the Teaspoon Inward
Post Prop. 8 protest reflection…
Crossposted from AngryBlackBitch.com.
A bitch joined 1,400 of my fellow activists in support of equality and in protest against passage of Prop. 8 in California. It was cold as hell but people showed up and added their voices to the chorus for equality and social justice.
Fantabulous!
I was inspired to see so many young people and student activists in the crowd. These youth are fired up and ready to get active…and they give me hope for the future. This bitch hopes that folks will stick with this and organize.
We stand on the side of justice, y’all.
And the one thing we did right was the day we started to fight.
Keep your eyes on the prize.
Hold on!
The Virtual Pub Is Open
In honor of our own QCoFM -- Sorry I'm late with this, Shakers -- I just got off work, and I'm headed for more work in a half-hour.
A Day in the Life of QCoFM
Earlier today, I was talking to Melissa -- we spoke about the unique entity that is Shakesville, and how the community that so many of us feel here (I communicate more frequently with some Shakers than I do with some of my real-world friends) does not spring magiclly from pixie-dust -- it's the product of lots of work.
'Liss was saying that she felt exhausted, because she believed that she had expressed this to people many times, and made repeated requests for support and donations, and that she thought that people did have a good idea of how much she puts into it, so if they weren't donating, it was probably because they didn't value what she put in.
I noted in the thread for Petulant's post that many people said that they don't get to, or don't choose to, read all the comment threads, and since that's were I've mostly see Melissa talk about what she does every day to keep Shakesville going (and those comments have usually been highly underplayed, in my opinion), I thought I'd put this up right on the main page (IMHFO, it probably should be on one of the info pages, too).
I told her that I wasn't sure that people really did understand the extent of the work that she does every day to maintain and nurture this community -- and I asked her to do me a favor -- to just write up a brief factual description of her average day as the blogmistress of Shakesville. I told her that I wanted to post it here, and I'm doing so with her permission.
Day in the Life of the QCoFM
1. Check overnight email. Sort each into one of seven places: people needing immediate help, issues that need immediate attention, topics that I'd like/feel obliged to write about but aren't as time-sensitive, people who would like to be included in the blogaround or write a guest post, emails that just require a reply, threats, trash.
2. Research and respond to people needing immediate attention. As an example, I might get an email from a woman who's recently been sexually assaulted and needs help locating a survivor's advocate or an email from a man who's partner was sexually assaulted and is seeking advice on how to best support her.
3. Check overnight comments. Moderate and/or intervene as required.
4.Post Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime.Deeky does that now.
5. Reply to most time-sensitive emails that just require a reply.
6. Read morning headlines and sort out big stories that need attention.
7. Post any time-sensitive action alerts.
8. Spend several hours researching and writing either one long or several shorter posts, periodically moderating comments and checking email for things needing immediate response, which could be breaking news-related, blog functionality-related (e.g. "I can't comment" or "feed stopped working"), contributor related (e.g. help with coding post, second set of eyes to look for triggering language or holes in argument), a short-notice interview request, someone needing help locating local shelter or advocacy services, etc.
9. If it's a Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, spend between 1-2 hours finding items for the blogaround, periodically doing rounds of comment moderation and email maintenance.
10. Time permitting, send emails to those who got linked in the blogaround or who have been hat-tipped in earlier posts to say thank you and link to the relevant post.
11. Spend some time in comments, facilitating conversation and just generally trying to be present and participatory.
12. More writing, moderating, email maintenance. Make any minor edits necessary to contributor posts for stylistic consistency.
13. Sometime during the day, work with guest bloggers as required to make posts Shakes-ready, i.e. edit submissions for style, coding, and potentially triggering language. Post submissions. Email authors to say thank you and link to the relevant post.
14. Look for a Quote of the Day, look for a Photo of the Day, post the Daily Dose of Cute, and/or coordinate posting of same with other contributors.
15. Assess mood of blog. Do we need something funny? Escapist? Something around which to corral unfocused anger? Something moving? Inspirational? Try to find something to meet that need.
16. Sometime during the day, email Shakers who I haven't seen around for awhile to make sure they're okay. Try to provide what support and help I can to those who aren't.
17. Spend time on phone with at least one contributor and usually more, talking them off the ledge or with them talking me off the ledge—frequently both.
18. Work with Space Cowboy to sort out technical problems and try to learn how to fix shit myself so I don't have to constantly bother him, not that he ever complains.
19. More writing, moderating, email maintenance, etc. I'm kind of like a shark, swimming in the same circles all day.
20. Post the Top Five at some point during the day.
21. If there are any requests from contributors for graphics, or if I write a post requiring a graphic, spend some time designing. Provide updates to graphics I've done for other bloggers when requested.
22. If there are any requests for additional services (e.g. ShakesQuill, a Shaker meet-up blog, book club, etc.), spend some time working to make those happen.
23. If I have been triggered by writing about sexual assault, or by a particularly vicious thread, or whatever, I take some time to try to recenter by pulling up some music I like on YouTube or watching a bit of Eddie Izzard.
24. Promote contributors' posts with emails to other bloggers and news outlets. Send contributors emails if their posts are favorably linked somewhere else. Spend time promoting on Twitter.
25. Compare IPs of any newly banned commenters against those on the threat list.
26. Post the Question of the Day.
27. Spend the rest of the evening modding periodically and responding to as much email as possible. If it's an evening where there's an event that needs coverage, e.g. presidential debates, I spend the evening liveblogging/live-Tweeting.
28. Make a list of everything I didn't get done that day, and hope I'll get to it tomorrow.
An average day is 10-12 hours of work, and around 10,000 words written.
~Melissa McEwan
Make a contribution to Melissa McEwan -- Click the Donate Button, scroll down, right sidebar.
No Excuses
Mark Foley, the former congressman from Florida who resigned in 2006 after it was revealed he was hitting on male teenage pages at the Capitol, gave his first interview in two years. After reading it and hearing excerpts, I sincerely wish he had kept his silence.
In an interview with The Associated Press' Brian Skoloff, Foley spoke of his "extraordinarily stupid" and "profoundly regrettable" behavior and acknowledged a drinking problem that caused his life to spiral out of control.If he had stopped right there, I would have been okay with it. After all, he's admitted to his fault and he's done his rehab for his alcoholism. But no; he had to make an attempt to justify his behavior, clinging to the thin reed that hitting on a seventeen year old boy is somehow acceptable because "he's months away from being a man," and he got his tail all puffed up when he was accused of being a pedophile, pulling out the clinical definition pedophilia -- sex with a prepubescent -- and saying with passionate high dudgeon, "I'm not one of those."
"There was never anywhere in those conversations where someone said, 'Stop,' or 'I'm not enjoying this,' or 'This is inappropriate' ... but again, I'm the adult here, I'm the congressman," Foley said. "The fact is I allowed it to happen. That's where my responsibility lies."
Wrong. Whatever the dictionary or legal definition of pedophilia is or regardless of the age of consent, hitting on a teenager when you're both three times his age and in a position of power over him is just wrong no matter how you try to parse it or justify it. If Mr. Foley was a teacher he'd have been fired and prosecuted, and if he was an employer, he could have been sued for sexual harassment. Not only that, it just feeds the stereotype of gay men being nothing but predators out there trying to "convert" boys over to homosexuality.
Mr. Foley blames his behavior on his addiction, his molestation as a child by a priest, and his inability to be openly gay as he grew up. I have no doubt that he is struggling, but one of the first things you learn in recovery from addiction is not to use it as your universal excuse for all your sins. You take responsibility for them, you atone for them, you make amends, and you work as hard as you can to never do it again. You don't make excuses. Second, someone else's sin doesn't become your justification for your own. What that anonymous priest may have done to Mr. Foley is horrible, no doubt, but again, it's not a rationalization to turn around and visit it on some kid forty-five years later.
I understand what he's talking about when he says that being unable to be openly gay in our society is harmful. Kids pretty much figure out their sexual orientation by the time they're teenagers -- at least I did -- just in time to face the world of dating and the social expectations of going to the prom or the spring dance or just Friday night date night with the socially acceptable partner. Gays and lesbians, however, don't get the opportunity to do those sorts of things with the person of their true choice; they have to fake it, and by the time they're old enough to either come out of the closet or not worry about being hazed for having a date with a same-sex partner, it's too late. They've lost that chance to learn how to be comfortable with their sexuality and their social skills at the time when conformity and peer acceptance is paramount. This means that they have a lot of maturing to do when they should be well along with their lives. It's a challenge, but it's not an excuse for inappropriate or destructive behavior, and for Mr. Foley to haul it out as one of his justifications means that he still has a lot of growing up to do, and in the meantime, he's not doing the rest of us in the LGBTQ community any favors.
I honestly do wish Mr. Foley well in his recovery. But it's clear from this interview that he's not done with it yet and he has a long way to go. As for his future, I hope he and his partner can find peace and quiet -- especially the quiet part.
(Cross-posted.)
Shaker Gourmet: Pasta with Goat Cheese Pesto
Our recipe comes from Shaker Sarah the Librarian:
Sounds delicious!Pasta with Goat Cheese Pesto
Serves 2
Ingredients:
2 servings of fusili or bowtie pasta
1/2 cup lightly packed basil leaves
1/4 cup packed cilantro or mint leaves (or 1 TB dried)
1/2 cup steamed fresh spinach, well drained
1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
1 tablespoon butter, softened
1-2 cloves of garlic, coarsely chopped
3/4 teaspoons sea salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
dash nutmeg (optional)
4-6 ounces goat cheese
Directions:
Bring a large pot of salted water to boil and cook the pasta to your liking. While the pasta is cooking, steam the spinach then combine the basil, cilantro, spinach, Parmesan, nutmeg, butter, garlic, salt and pepper in a food processor and process until smooth. Add the goat cheese and pulse until well mixed with the other ingredients.
When the pasta is cooked, drain, but reserve 1 or 2 tablespoons of the cooking water. Combine the hot pasta with the processed ingredients and the cooking water in a large bowl. Mix until the pasta is coated well. Serve and enjoy the tastiness!
Tuesday Kitteh
Step 1:
When the human settles in bed to read, jump up on pillow. Take up as much of the pillow as possible while wrapping yourself around the human's head. Purr as loud as possible. This should last approximately half an hour or until the human's head starts to become uncomfortably hot. Flexing of claws into back of head optional.
Step 2:
When the human has had enough of the heat and decides to shift position, inch forward onto rest of pillow. When the human looks at you exasperatedly, lick the human's face until human laughs.
Step 3:
When the human says "fine, have the pillow while I read", get up and move. Snuggle into a ball behind the human's bent knees. Be in position to attack feet whenever they might move, especially in the middle of the night after human has fallen asleep.
An Excellent Model
Never let it be said that folks like Power Line's John Hinderacker don't have a sense of the ironic. At least I hope so.
Obama thinks he is a good talker, but he is often undisciplined when he speaks. He needs to understand that as President, his words will be scrutinized and will have impact whether he intends it or not. In this regard, President Bush is an excellent model; Obama should take a lesson from his example. Bush never gets sloppy when he is speaking publicly. He chooses his words with care and precision, which is why his style sometimes seems halting. In the eight years he has been President, it is remarkable how few gaffes or verbal blunders he has committed. If Obama doesn't raise his standards, he will exceed Bush's total before he is inaugurated.I checked; this is not from The Onion.
HT to TPM.
(Cross-posted.)
Veterans Day
Today marks the 90th anniversary of the signing of the armistice that brought an end to the fighting in World War I. That day, once called Armistice Day, is now Veterans Day.
It's become my tradition to mark the day with the poem In Flanders Field by John McCrae.
In Flanders fields the poppies growI honor my father, two uncles, a cousin, a great uncle, many friends and colleagues, and the millions known and unknown who served our country in the armed forces.
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
— John McCrae (1872-1918)
(Cross-posted.)
Quote of the Day
I can't believe Obama is already sitting down with an unpopular, aggressive world leader without preconditions. - DG at Talking Points Memo.
Heh.
Sunday Book Club
"I was born twice: first, as a baby girl, on a remarkably smogless Detroit day in January of 1960; and then again, as a teenage boy, in an emergency room near Petoskey, Michigan, in August of 1974."
Today is Week One of our discussion of Jeffrey Eugenides' Middlesex.
(Purchase a copy from the official bookstore of Shakesville here.)
Great Expectations
This is music to my ears. Please, Maude, let it be so:
Transition advisers to President-elect Barack Obama have compiled a list of about 200 Bush administration actions and executive orders that could be swiftly undone to reverse White House policies on climate change, stem cell research, reproductive rights and other issues, according to congressional Democrats, campaign aides and experts working with the transition team.There's way more, including a reported plan to make some quick hits on Bush's environmental fiats. This similar New York Times article suggests that "a major expansion of the State Children's Health Insurance Program" (SCHIP) might be quickly forthcoming, too (which I am very pleased to see, given that he missed the last reauthorization vote, to my profound disappointment).
...Obama himself has signaled, for example, that he intends to reverse Bush's controversial limit on federal funding of embryonic stem cell research, a decision that scientists say has restrained research into some of the most promising avenues for defeating a wide array of diseases, such as Parkinson's.
...The new president is also expected to lift a so-called global gag rule barring international family planning groups that receive U.S. aid from counseling women about the availability of abortion, even in countries where the procedure is legal, said Cecile Richards, the president of Planned Parenthood Federation of America. When Bill Clinton took office in 1993, he rescinded the Reagan-era regulation, known as the Mexico City policy, but Bush reimposed it.
"We have been communicating with his transition staff" almost daily, Richards said. "We expect to see a real change."
All of this sounds very good.
As I've said before, democracy at its best is unlimited optimism shot through with a cold streak of cynicism—and I can't remember a time where I more pointedly felt that balance working itself in seemingly every molecule of which I am composed. I have endless hopefulness that Obama will be great, will do great things for this country (and tangentially for everyone who is affected by this country and its policies and its decisions). And I will expect that greatness, because he needs a progressive base with expectations to which he must answer. And if he disappoints, it will not crush me, because my cynicism protects me; I will criticize him and demand more, as I always have.
But now is the time for great expectations.
Of him and of ourselves.
Wednesday, the day after the election, the Space Cowpokes, Iain, and I were in Chicago all day, and something incredible had happened. (The same thing was happening in New York, too, as noted by Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, and I've gotten emails from people saying they found the same thing.) It was, like, Crazyhappyland. Everyone was laughing and smiling and being extra nice—spontaneous conversations about music, art, food, life, the election with strangers in elevators, in restaurants, in cabs, on the sidewalk. It was like every single person in Chicago had been told they had 100 years to live. Black, white, gay, straight, woman, man, everybody. People were happy and inspired and excited. A cloud had lifted. In one of the most politically cynical cities in the world, where the people know better than most that policians are fallible beings who often fail to deliver and fuck up in myriad ways, there was still a tangible, beautiful sense of the possible. The entire city was enveloped in great expectations.
Right now, let's believe we can do this.
And because, as I've said no fewer than a nonillion times now, this election is not just about Barack Obama, and his presidency will not be just about Barack Obama, but about us all, there's just this huge chance for something big in that optimism blanketing Chicago on Wednesday.
You see, the solutions to shit like the institutionalized homophobia that fueled Prop 8, or institutionalized misogyny that plagued this election, or any of the other crushing bigotries that poison our culture and its people, don't lie exclusively in Barack Obama the person, nor Obama the president, nor the Obama administration, nor a Democratic Congress—even though all those things have the potential to make big changes in the right (or left, ahem) direction. The solutions are in us, are in our great expectations and our determination to see them realized.
The best option for the people who populate this blog at this point is to provide as much progressive support to Obama, to be his base, so that he has the clear and public mandate to pursue a progressive (and necessarily feminist) agenda. That does not mean giving him a pass or holding back criticism. In fact, it means putting on as much public pressure as possible and making public criticism when he falls short, because blind and blanket fealty doesn't get us anything.
Neither does unadultered despair and pessimism. Teaspoons, after all, are fueled by the belief that people can change.
And this blog is not about reserving the right to say "I told you so" when people fuck up, as they inevitably do. This blog is about teaspoons.
Shakesville's charter dictates that no one is expected to be perfect; everyone is expected to be willing to self-examine and learn. I'd like us to extend the same generosity to our new president. I'd like us to grant him the benefit of our willingness to view him as complex and flawed, but capable of learning, just as we do each other, rather than regarding every disappointment as evidence of his being not worth our time and energy. I'd like us to give him the support to succeed, with the fragile hope that he'll accept it and make good use of it.
We must do it because we are generous, and because we are selfish—no one else will make our demands for us.
We must do it because we are optimistic, and because we are cynical—no one else can provide the clarion call that we can.
It is a risky business indeed to have high hopes for a president. The temptation to expect nothing, in the hopes of being pleasantly surprised, is very enticing, precisely because nothing is so frequently all that we get. But great presidents are forged in part in the fiery bellies of the people who demand greatness of them. There was a need and a desire for Lincoln's greatness. There was a need and a desire for FDR's greatness. Circumstances demanded it—and so did the people, despite no guarantee that greatness would be forthcoming.
Of course, without the people's belief in that greatness being possible, it really might not have been.
We must hold our teaspoons firmly, with generosity and selfishness, and with optimism and cynicism.
And we must have great expectations.
Young Man With a Gift
Connor Gifford is a unique historian.
What happens when a 26-year-old man with Down syndrome meets a soon-to-be grandmother close to four decades older than him? In the case of Nantucket residents Connor Gifford and Victoria Harris, a beautiful friendship was born that ultimately changed both their life paths and led to the publication of a book about our nation's history, "America According to Connor Gifford."
In the prologue to the book, Gifford thanks God for giving him the gift of Down syndrome, and he explains that after he was born doctors diagnosed him with mosaic Down syndrome.
"I was so blessed, and that's why I thank God for my gift," Gifford says. "I am sensitive to things like you don't mistreat somebody who is, let's say, black, or Indian, or Mexican. We all have something in ourselves that we can say to the world, 'Look out world, here I come.'"
That sentiment is certainly coming true for Gifford. "The World According to Connor Gifford" [sic] was released on Nantucket in June and is making its New England debut on this Fourth of July weekend. It already is selling well and getting attention from the national news media. Tim Russert wrote an endorsement of the book and planned to have Gifford on "Meet the Press" before his untimely death. Chris Matthews (a part-time Nantucket resident) of MSNBC's "Hardball With Chris Matthews" met Gifford and loved the book.
Gifford is a native of Perrysburg, Ohio, where he graduated from high school in 2002. His parents pushed to have him take mainstream classes, and he fell in love with history in the eighth grade. He now lives year-round on Nantucket.Since that article was published in July, Connor's book has taken off and he's on a book tour, including a trip back to his hometown of Perrysburg. (See video here.) Full disclosure: I've known Connor's father, Chuck Gifford, since I was five years old, and his family lived next door to me as I was growing up. I see that Connor has inherited his dad's sense of humor and love of history, and I admire him for his accomplishment. What a great story.
Harris' background is in documentary filmmaking, and she's the founder of the Harris Group, which creates Fortune 500 branding campaigns. She was working on a first novel when she met Gifford.
In a telephone interview, Harris and Gifford, each on a different extension, explained how the book came to be.
The two met at Harris' daughter's house on Nantucket in January of 2007.
"Connor and I just really liked each other right off the bat," Harris says. "We got talking about history, and I realized there was this very profound sense of the essence of who we are as a nation in this young man's mind."
Harris went home to Rochester, N.Y., but she could not stop thinking about the conversation. By summer, she knew she wanted Gifford to write a book, and she created the concept of "America According to Connor Gifford." She didn't have any idea what the book would look like, or even be about, but she called his parents, Julie and Chuck Gifford, and asked if she could interview their son about his thoughts on history.
"I felt deeply that the knowledge that was in Connor's mind, that he couldn't necessarily express in the traditional way that somebody sits down and writes a book, could be released if I could interview him," Harris says.
The interviews continued through the fall, and as Harris transcribed hundreds of hours of interviews she began to see patterns in Connor's thinking. What emerged was a profound sense of civil rights. She also realized that Connor could express history best through people and events that he thought we all should know, such as Anne Hutchinson, Benjamin Franklin, the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, our westward expansion and Jim Crow laws. It was a natural development of Gifford's personal feelings about history.
"My love for history started in eighth grade," Gifford says, "and as I went through history, I realized that what these people were doing was touching my heart."
SNTDBIDW -- "Lay" the Blame
I'm a firm believer in keeping Power and Responsibility in the same place. I think they are so closely intertwined that it is, in reality, impossible to truly separate them. You can try, of course (and many people do).
"Blame", on the other hand? Well . . . . .
In the bare few days since the election, there's been a whole lot of . . . . . what's the word I'm looking for . . . . . .Coverage? No -- wait, I've nearly got it . . . . . . Media Exposure? No, that's not quite right, either . . . . Oh, here it is -- Shit! -- Yes, there's been a whole lot of Shit going around about how Teh Blacks are to blame for Proposition 8's passage.
I'm going to take this as the example in this installment of Shit Not To Do Because It Doesn't Work.
Let's start with a few basic principles:
Principle #1: "Laying", or "Placing" Blame may look quick and easy when you first go to it, but in fact, it usually takes quite a bit of mental gymnastics and twisting of logic in the end.
Principle #2: Finding where the Responsibility rests (as opposed to Laying/Placing Blame) requires very little mental energy -- because it already has a location -- you just have to look and see where the Power is.
Anyway -- my point is that, in this society, $$ = Power -- and as I said before, Power and Responsibility are inseparable.
Now, obviously, individual responsibility for each person's vote rests with the individual -- because that person had the power to pull the lever, press the button, or pencil-in the oval. So if you want to get mad at your neighbor, your mother, your friend, etc., who voted Yes on 8, go right ahead -- but get mad at them for their vote.
If you want to start placing responsibility at a more meta-level, better look for the ultimate source of collective power. (Clue words: Conservative, Wealthy, Patriarchal, Religious, and Predominantly White). Individuals who voted Yes on 8 may be like the cells in a body, but they would never have gotten to the polls without The Brain that was saturated in issues of control, repression, fear-mongering and intolerance.
Proponents of Prop 8 will be using this phrase a lot in the coming days, I imagine: "The People Have Spoken!!!!!!"
Well, not exactly. Since CA has a population of 36.5 million, registered voters of 17.3 mill, and a 62.5% turnout, actually only 29.6% of the people have spoken -- and 14.1% of them said "No".
Think of that. If California were a room full of 17 people (we'll just take the registered voters here), and they took a vote to do something important that would affect all of them in the future, and 6 of those people didn't vote at all (maybe they had a headache, were too busy at the canape tray, or were one of those "I hate meetings" people), and the remaining 11 voted 6-5 -- well, that's hardly a sweeping mandate, is it?
When the headache is over and canapes are gone, you've now got a group of people who are collectively responsible for a project that only 35% of them have clearly said they want to do, 30% of them clearly don't want to do it, and 35% of them don't seem to care. (BTW -- this is why I don't like our current democratic system.)
But back to the topic at hand: It seems to me that there's a tricksy-falseness going on with the whole thing in the aftermath of Prop 8 -- an odd, simultaneous --"THEY did it!" living side by side with "The people have spoken!"-- which I believe is all about an attempt to lay blame (shift responsibility) while retaining power.
Which doesn't, ultimately, work -- for the following reason: The neat thing about responsibility is that if you actually have it, it means that you also have power.
Which means if you don't like the consequences of your actions, when you take responsibility for them, you can change them. Cool, huh?
Of course, the bummer is that if you do shit that you can't really stand behind (I am so sick of hearing the phrase "I don't hate gay people, but . . . . . "), you are still responsible for your action, because you had the power to take it.
(And this post is not even touching on the intricacies of how The Brain probably courted and played quite intentionally on existing homophobia within populations that they normally don't give a shit about.)
Let's take this to a more mundane and familiar example: Teenagers.
Raising adolescents is widely reported to be a total bitch (I would confirm this). I think it's a power and responsibility thing.
Teenagers are all about coming into their power as adults. However, in our society, they are considered kids (for whom the parents have responsibility) until they are 18.
Ask a parent of a teen -- they will probably admit to you that they realize that they can't actually control their kid. The dance of teens and parents in this culture usually relies on a tacit agreement that we're not going to say out loud what we all know:
That we can't control them, and they know we can't control them, and we know they know we can't control them, and they know we know this.
Legally, the kid can't be completely responsible until they're 18 (unless they emancipate early) -- and so ensues the awful struggle for them to somehow wrest little bits of power away where they can. Shutting us out of their rooms. Sneaking out at night. Standing in the middle of an argument and speaking in the broad light of day the dirty little secret that is so carefully avoided when cooler heads prevail: "You can't make me!"
On the parental side, we are frustrated by our kid's insistence on increasing power while attempting to avoid responsibility. We chafe at the unfairness of being held responsible for the actions of someone else over whom we really do not have power.
I am intentionally using both a collective and an individual example of what happens when responsibility and power do not dwell firmly together, because I believe that this is an issue which runs from top to bottom in our culture.
I also find the second example a bit amusing, in light of the LDS' statement yesterday:"The Church calls on those involved in the debate over same-sex marriage to act in a spirit of mutual respect and civility towards each other. No one on either side of the question should be vilified, intimidated, harassed or subject to erroneous information."
-- which, in this case -- since the Yes on 8 relied so heavily on erroneous information, is like a parent saying "Do as I say, not as I do".
Which will drive your teenager crazy.
But I digress.
This statement from the LDS came in response to protests which have been brought right to their doorstep -- and I believe that is an extremely effective tactic -- it indicates that protesters have located the site of responsibility -- right where the power is.
The LDS is squirming under this. LDS Spokesman Scott Trotter said Friday:"Millions of others from every faith, ethnicity and political affiliation who voted for Proposition 8 exercised the most sacrosanct and individual rights in the United States - that of free expression and voting,"
Well, yeah, but no other faith group that represents only 2% of the CA population provided 47% of the funding for Prop 8. No other faith group (that we know of) issued letters from the highest elders of their church designed to directly influence the vote, or broadcasted messages encouraging their members to "go viral". Whether this activity violates the 501(c)3 requirements of the LDS is yet to be seen -- but the wielding of power is undeniable.
It's kind of funny (in an "ouch" way) isn't it -- the LDS wants to be a bad parent (Do as I say . . . . ) and a bad teenager (You're so mean! All the others kids were doing it!) -- all at the same time.
You want the Power? Guess what comes with it.
[/end homo rant portion]
To apply this lesson more generally: If you're ever wonder whether you're "laying" Blame rather than letting Responsibility "rest" where it belongs, notice how much effort is involved -- and where the Power is.
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Part IV in an ongoing series. SNTDBIDW -- Part One, Two & Three Here
Happy Blogiversary...
...to our own Mustang Bobby, who is celebrating FIVE YEARS of barking and woofing at his home blog, Bark Bark Woof Woof.
I can't remember when I first read BBWW, although it wasn't long after I started blogging myself. It went immediately on my blogroll and my Bloglines, and MB found his way shortly thereafter to Shakesville as a regular commenter.
Later, of course, he became a contributor here, and, beyond that, we became friends. He (and his lovely and tech-savvy brother) have been awesomely generous allies to Shakesville, particularly during the time we had an insane DOS attack, that I never could have managed on my own. That's just the kind of guys they are.
Thanks for everything, MB. And congratulations on five years of brilliant blogging. The blogosphere wouldn't be the same without ya. I'm glad, and proud, to know ya, doll.
(((hug)))
P.S. lol your gayer than a pink pair of shoes
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like YEEEEAAARRRGGHHH
Fucking hell.
As most long-time readers know, one of my biggest pet peeves is the completely fabricated "War on Christmas." A big part of it is that it's one of my favorite holidays, and I fucking hate being told by douchebags that simply because I'm a progressive, I hate Christmas and want to see it destroyed. Douchebags like Bill O'Reilly. Which leads to my next reason for loathing this hollow lie; it could not be more obvious that O'Reilly created the WoC out of mistletoe dreams and reindeer farts simply to sell more shit from his website.No time of the year is more merry for Bill O’Reilly than the “Christmas season,” because he can then go to war with his nemeses, the so-called “secular progressives.” Last year, he kicked off the season on Nov. 9, with a story on a decision by the Fort Collins, Colorado City Council to forgo traditional Christmas decorations. Though he hasn’t found his first outrage of the year yet, he’s getting ready.
Case in point: It's a few fucking days after Halloween, so O'Reilly has to wave his Kringle in our faces and claim that somehow the WoC has already begun, even though no one's thinking about this shit other than him. And what's his big idea this year, you ask? He's breaking out the big guns, folks. A sticker. Great horny toads, we're toast; how will we ever stop Christmas when faced with this?
And how do you get one of these fucking ugly cheerful signs of the season, you ask? Why, spend money on Bill's website, of course!For the past two nights, O’Reilly has been offering bumper stickers reading “We Say Merry Christmas” to anyone who orders his book off his website:
Yes, in order to get one of these fifty cent stickers (And by the way, who wants a Christmas sticker on their car year round? And who, for the luvva Maude, is we?), you have to spend twenty dollars or more. There is not enough muscle in my skull to roll my eyes as much as I want to right now.
"We say Merry Christmas." Jebus. Hey Bill, I say "Go fuck yourself sideways, you greedy, moneygrubbing douchetacular fuckneck."
