Olivia's secretly Queen of the Jungle.
And Sophie's actually a sleepy wee hamster, I think.
"All the pizza boxes were taken."
Friday Cat Blogging
Olivia's secretly Queen of the Jungle.
And Sophie's actually a sleepy wee hamster, I think.
"All the pizza boxes were taken."
Nights in the Vomitorium
Can we just talk for a moment about how much I want to barf every time I see the trailer for Nights in Rodanthe?
If you don't want to watch the whole thing, just watch this bit at 1:11:
"I made that. It's to keep special things safe."
"Who keeps you safe?"
HUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I seriously cannot even TELL you how profoundly I am compelled to laugh maniacally and pretend to blow chucks every single time Iain and I have the misfortune to see that advert. Iain now waits with glee on the edge of his seat every time it comes on, staring at me with an evil little expectant grin on his face, just to watch my reaction.
By the time they get to, "We saved each other," I am practically on the floor, writhing in pain. It's literally like someone made this trailer just to irritate me.
So, basically, I laughed my tits off last night when Stephen Colbert ripped it a new one. "I love loving!" Ha!
Friday Reunion YouTubery
I'm sitting at the airport waiting for my flight out to go back to Ohio for my high school reunion. Good times. So, for fun, a random sample of big hits (as per Billboard) from that fantabulous year of 1998:
Friday Blogaround
lol your blogaround
Recommended Reading:
Jack: Announcing the Launch of the Voter Suppression Wiki—Learn, Report, Act
David: Prop. 8: The Relay Fast
Sarah in Chicago: Vote No on Prop. 8
Christopher: Has the McCain Campaign Broken Sarah Palin?
Pizza Diavola: I Write Letters: $700Bn Bailout Proposal
Resistance: Understatement of the Year Award
Leave your links in comments...
Lockbox
In the middle of the night last night, I awoke from a dream about Al Gore. It wasn't really a dream in the traditional sense, so much as it was a memory. I was recalling, from somewhere deep in my subconscious, one of his debates against Bush in 2000, during which Gore was talking about how he was going to take the budgetary surplus created during the Clinton presidency and put it in a lockbox to protect our social safety net.
And Bush was sneering at him.
When I woke up, I remembered how Al Gore was viciously mocked for his "lockbox" campaign theme, everywhere from SNL skits to mainstream debate coverage: "He must have used the word 'lockbox' about 20 times." Even after he'd lost, the media harangued him about his lockbox: "Well, maybe the beard should go into the lockbox!"
Al Gore's lockbox was routinely treated like the butt of a joke. Silly, nerdy, wonky Al Gore with his dorky lockbox!The Gross National Debt
###
Iraq War Cost
Reuters: "Economy Rapidly Weakening"
Today's New York Times:
Today's Washington Post:
Today's Wall Street Journal:
Just sayin'.
Did I describe that as a dream, the thing I had last night? No—it was a nightmare.
Sarah Palin Sexism Watch, #21
Why, Daily Show, why?
[Transcript below. H/T to Shaker and Hoyden Lauredhel.]
(And, no, I don't give a shit that the line was delivered as a Catskills comic or some shit—Colbert is the ironic character; Stewart plays it straight, and, yes, that context matters.)
It's bad enough when women are said to have balls as a compliment, but this is just beyond the beyond. There are people who have both male and female reproductive organs, and they're not called flowers or hockey moms; they're called intersex. (Though not everyone who is intersex has both male and female reproductive organs.) Perhaps if Stewart is unfamiliar with the concept, someone could give him a copy of this beautiful, brilliant, bestselling, and Pulitzer Prize-winning book to enlighten him, which happens to be one of my favorite books. Or any one of these.
And perhaps then he could explain to us why that joke was so important he felt compelled to mock and marginalize people often already rendered vulnerable by their culture's undue hostility and ignorance.
I'm just literally totally fucking sick of alleged progressives—and everyone else, for that matter—making jokes that unnecessarily and unjustifiably smear people who have fuck-all to do with their target, but are somehow hilarious just by virtue of having an intrinsic nature that deviates from the kyriarchal norm—ha ha you're a girl ha ha you're gay ha ha you're brown ha ha you're trans ha ha you're disabled ha ha you're fat ha ha you're a dwarf ha ha you're DIFFERENT. Fuck. What a pathetically immature and just bloody impolite and mean society we are.
Some days I just want to vomit on the world and never stop.
Jon Stewart: Of course, [in some weird Spanish Tarzan? accent] no access make media angry.[Sarah Palin Sexism Watch: Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty. We defend Sarah Palin against misogynist smears not because we endorse her or her politics, but because that's how feminism works.]
Rachel Maddow: This isn't North Korea. We don't do just pure photo ops with no questions.
Anderson Cooper: They are trying to protect her from something which I don't quite understand; this is not how things normally work.
Paul Begala: Don't exclude the press; don't coddle her.
Campbell Brown: Stop treating Sarah Palin like she is a delicate flower that will wilt at any moment.
Stewart: She can kill a moose with her bare hands! Rip its heart out—and show it to the moose! She will rip its heart out and show it to the moose before eating it in front of the moose! Delicate flower. Y'ever hear the old joke about the difference between a flower and a hockey mom? One has both male and female reproductive organs, and the other one's a flower! BOOM! BOOM!
My Apologies
I haven't even read comments yet this morning, so I don't know if anyone's brought it up yet, but when I opened Shakesville this morning, the despicable ad about which I blogged here was running in our sidebar. I nearly had a fucking heart attack, because I absolutely did not approve that ad. I immediately checked my email, and the ad submission for approval arrived in my inbox last night at 8:24pm. I wasn't online after that time last night, so I never got the email—but, nonetheless, the ad was running this morning, by 8:24am.
I have gone to my ad account and turned off the ad, and I have emailed BlogAds requesting an explanation for how that happened. I know that ads which are neither explicitly approved or rejected are considered to be tacitly approved and eventually run, but never has an ad run without my explicit approval after 12 fucking hours—and if BlogAds' policy suddenly requires that I need to be online late in the evening, just to make sure an advertiser can't sneak in an ad that runs counter to everything Shakesville advocates, then I will cancel the blogstrip altogether.
I'm waiting for some sort of response, and I'll let you know if I get one. In the meantime, I just want to sincerely apologize to anyone who saw the ad. It was completely unacceptable that it ran here, and I am extremely unhappy that Shakesville and myself were associated with this advertisement in any way. My deepest apologies.
No Deal
Negotiations between the White House and the Congress collapsed after they apparently reached a deal to end the financial crisis on Wall Street.
When Congressional leaders and Senators John McCain and Barack Obama, the two major party presidential candidates, trooped to the White House on Thursday afternoon, most signs pointed toward a bipartisan agreement on a grand compromise that could be accepted by all sides and signed into law by the weekend. It was intended to pump billions of dollars into the financial system, restoring liquidity and keeping credit flowing to businesses and consumers.The main sticking point within the Republican caucus seemed to be a lack of agreement on how to blame this whole thing on the Democrats.
“We’re in a serious economic crisis,” Mr. Bush told reporters as the meeting began shortly before 4 p.m. in the Cabinet Room, adding, “My hope is we can reach an agreement very shortly.”
But once the doors closed, the smooth-talking House Republican leader, John A. Boehner of Ohio, surprised many in the room by declaring that his caucus could not support the plan to allow the government to buy distressed mortgage assets from ailing financial companies.
Mr. Boehner pressed an alternative that involved a smaller role for the government, and Mr. McCain, whose support of the deal is critical if fellow Republicans are to sign on, declined to take a stand.
The talks broke up in angry recriminations, according to accounts provided by a participant and others who were briefed on the session, and were followed by dueling news conferences and interviews rife with partisan finger-pointing.
In the Roosevelt Room after the session, the Treasury secretary, Henry M. Paulson Jr., literally bent down on one knee as he pleaded with Nancy Pelosi, the House Speaker, not to “blow it up” by withdrawing her party’s support for the package over what Ms. Pelosi derided as a Republican betrayal.
“I didn’t know you were Catholic,” Ms. Pelosi said, a wry reference to Mr. Paulson’s kneeling, according to someone who observed the exchange. She went on: “It’s not me blowing this up, it’s the Republicans.”
Mr. Paulson sighed. “I know. I know.”
(Cross-posted.)
Question of the Day
What are the best and worst nicknames you've ever had?
I've had a million nicknames, at least 999,000 of which Iain alone has given me, but my favorite, quite honestly (and rather boringly, I guess) is Lissa. I especially liked being called Lissa by my maternal grandparents, whose Queens accent turned it into "Lisser." My Londoner Andy turns it into "Lisser," too.
The worst nickname I've ever had was Hickster. I have no solid memory of how that nickname came about—and I may well have anointed myself with it—although I've a dim recollection that it had something to do with wearing overalls or a plaid shirt or something vaguely hillbillyish, and was part of a triad of nicks, the other two of which, belonging to my two girlfriends, were Chickster (for extreme girliness) and Slickster (for over-moussed hair). Who knows which moniker came first, but the other two immediately followed. Ahh, high school cleverosity. We thought we were awesome. Good times.
Q: Why have I given Sophie's face ten gajillion smooches today?
And how can anyone look at that, and not immediately snorgle it senseless?!
(Btw, blogging takes a lot longer one-handed.)
Totally Incoherent
I just don't even know what to say anymore. Katie Couric asks Sarah Palin about the bailout, specifically why it's preferable to give that money to the financial firms who created this clusterfucktastrophe instead of to direct relief for struggling American families—and Palin's answer is just a rambling mess of jumbled talking points haphazardly strung together in a way that makes no sense, while she glances down at her notes. "Not ready for primetime" doesn't begin to cover it.
[Transcript below.]
As Shark-fu might say: Blink.
I mean, there are pieces of identifiable conservative policies there, to be sure, bits of familiar ideas, but none of them seem to be particularly familiar to her, even though this is basic Republican doctrine, so threadbare from overuse that I could have convincingly answered that question as a Republican imposter off the top of my head. It's not that she's a bad speaker—she did quite well at the Republican convention—and I don't think she's stupid. I really think she just doesn't know policy at all.
And if this example of her anxious attempt to keep on-message doesn't put to bed once and for all the idea that this is a ticket of free-wheeling, straight-talking "mavericks," I don't know what would. Because, clearly, at least part of the problem is that she's never had to be a doctrinaire Republican. Until now.
(I can't say I feel she did any better on defending how being next door to Russia bolsters her foreign policy credentials. That's another one where you really want to watch the video in addition to reading the transcript, if possible.)
Couric: She's not always responsive when she's asked questions, and sometimes does slip back to her talking points, um, so it was a really interesting experience for me to interview her yesterday.
Rodriguez: Let's see if that's the case here; we have an excerpt where you ask her about her opinion on the bailout.
Couric: Okay.
Couric [on tape]: Why isn't it better, Governor Palin, to spend $700 billion helping middle-class families who are struggling with healthcare, housing, gas, and groceries—allow them to spend more and put more money into the economy—instead of helping these big financial institutions that played a role in creating this mess?
Palin [on tape]: That's why I say, I, like every American I'm speaking with, we're ill about this position that we have been put in where it is the taxpayers looking to bailout. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are [glances down] concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed [glances down] to help shore up our economy. [glances down] Helping the—oh, it's got to be about job creation, too, shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track. So healthcare reform [glances down] and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief [glances down] for Americans, and trade we've—we've got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, um, scary thing, but 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector today. We've got to look at that as more opportunity. All those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout [is a part of that].
Caption This Photo
It was neither the first, nor the last, time
the president turned his back on liberty.
U.S. President George W. Bush meets with dissidents on Governors Island in New York September 23, 2008. REUTERS/Jim Young (UNITED STATES)
I Didn't Like This Shit the First Time I Heard It
Mark your calendars—Sarah Palin actually talked to the press today! She made a trip to the former site of the World Trade Center, made a statement, and then answered four questions (and dodged one) from a small pool of traveling press. First, her statement about visiting Ground Zero:
Every American student needs to come through this area so that, especially this younger generation of Americans is, to be in a position of never forgetting what happened here and never repeating, never allowing a repeat of what happened here. I wish every American would come through here. I wish every world leader would come through here, and understand what it is that took place here and more importantly how America came together and united to commit to never allowing this to happen again. And just to hear and from and see these good New Yorkers who are rebuilding not just this are but helping to rebuild America has been very, very inspiring and encouraging. These are the good Americans who are committed to peace and security and its been an absolute honor getting to meet these folks today.Barf. She sounds so much like Bush—the garbled phrasing, the egocentric belief that "every world leader" has something to learn from gawking in person at American tragedy, the simplistic prattle about unity and rebuilding proffered as spunky optimism, the praise for "the good Americans who are committed to peace and security" that invokes and condemns the strawman of the "bad American" who is committed to, I don't know, war and insecurity, I guess. Absurd. Revolting. Terrifyingly familiar.
And then there was the briefest of Q&As.
CNN: On the topic of never letting this happen again, do you agree with the way the Bush administration has handled the war on terrorism, is there anything you would do differently?Is anyone else appalled by her reflexive use of the "never again" phrase, which is typically associated with genocide and most closely with the Holocaust? I don't think it minimizes the gravity of what happened on September 11 to point out its scope is not remotely proximate to the systematic slaughter of six million people. I also don't think it serves any purpose to try to elevate 9/11 into a tragedy of that magnitude, or lose sight of the fact that it was not the attack itself which threatened to destroy our democracy but our collective response to it (but one mere part of which is conflating it with the Holocaust, just for a start).
A: I agree with the Bush administration that we take the fight to them. We never again let them come onto our soil and try to destroy not only our democracy, but communities like the community of New York. Never again. So yes, I do agree with taking the fight to the terrorists and stopping them over there.
POLITICO: Do you think our presence in Iraq and afghan and our continued presence there is inflaming islamic extremists?More "never again"—ugh. But moving on: No, our presence in Iraq and Afghanistan, as currently defined and managed, will not lead to " further security of our nation," and, in fact, has not, which has been a well-known fact for over two years.
A: I think our presence in Iraq and Afghanistan will lead to further security of our nation, again, because the mission is to take the fight over there. do not let them come over here and attempt again what they accomplished here, and that was some destruction. terrible destruction on that day. but since September 11, Americans uniting and rebuilding and committing to never letting that happen again.
In September of 2006, the National Intelligence Estimate assessed "that the Iraq jihad is shaping a new generation of terrorist leaders and operatives; perceived jihadist success there would inspire more fighters to continue the struggle elsewhere. The Iraq conflict has become the 'cause celebre' for jihadists, breeding a deep resentment of US involvement in the Muslim world and cultivating supporters for the global jihadist movement," a finding which was supported by a report prepared for Britain's Ministry of Defense, which noted that the Iraq War "has acted as a recruiting sergeant for extremists across the Muslim world. Iraq has served to radicalise an already disillusioned youth and al-Qaeda has given them the will, intent, purpose and ideology to act."
Meanwhile, Afghanistan is totally fucked, the Taliban is reconstituting, and last year a suicide bomber tried to kill Cheney when he visited.
I couldn't be more exhausted with Republican leadership who believe if you think of pretty colors when you sit on the pot, you'll actually shit rainbows. I'd be ever so grateful if, at some point, they'd start putting people on their national tickets who have a passing familiarity with reality.
POLITICO: Do you support the reelection bids of embattled Alaska Republicans, Rep. Don Young and Sen. Ted Stevens?But, gee, wasn't Walt Monegan fired in July for making a trip to Washington to secure funds for a sex crimes initiative, because it might have "put a strain on the evolving relationship between the Governor and Sen. (Ted) Stevens," even though Palin had previously publicly criticized the corrupt senator? And now they're not friends anymore already? Huh. That's one complicated relationship she's got with the Tedster.
A: Ted Stevens trial started a couple days ago. We’ll see where that goes.
POLITICO: Are you gong to vote for them?
[no answer.]
JERSEY JOURNAL: What do you think of bailout package before congress?Well, that's the most reasonable answer she gave—and it's still made of FAIL, because McCain doesn't know his ass from his elbow on the economy. Just ask him.
A: I don't support that until the provisions that Sen. McCain has offered are implemented in Paulson's proposals.
Goofus and Gallant, #3
Goofus, despite being an economics supergenius, didn't see the financial crisis coming and did not introduce a single banking or housing bill during the 110th Congress.
Gallant spent the 110th Congress, in part, introducing five banking and/or housing bills, including one to amend "the Securities and Exchange Act of 1934 to provide shareholders with an advisory vote on executive compensation" and another to halt "mortgage transactions that promote fraud."
[Goofus and Gallant: Parts One, Two.]
Bailout Agreement Tentatively Reached
And I'm getting that slightly nauseated feeling I get every time I hear the phrase "bipartisan consensus."
Warned that time was running short to bolster the distressed economy, congressional Republicans and Democrats reported agreement in principle Thursday on a $700 billion bailout of the financial industry, and said they would present it to the Bush administration in hopes of a vote within days.Zoinks. That just can't be good.
Emerging from a two-hour negotiating session, Sen. Chris Dodd, D-Conn., said, "We are very confident that we can act expeditiously."
"I now expect that we will indeed have a plan that can pass the House, pass the Senate (and) be signed by the president," said Sen. Bob Bennett, R-Utah.
Meanwhile, John McCain has suggested that Friday's debate be postponed to throw a big party to celebrate.
Quote of the Day
"The Democrats are going to change everything. We're going to have gay parents marrying their own gay babies. Obama's gonna be sworn in on a gay baby. The oath is gonna end 'So help me, gay baby'."—Stephen Colbert, on what will happen if the Democrats control the White House and both houses of Congress after the election.
Sarah Palin Sexism Watch, #20
Wow, There's Another World Leader As Inappropriate As Bush Edition:
Sarah Palin and the foreign leaders she has met with in New York have said very little to reporters over the last two days, but the press happened to be in the room on Wednesday for one eyebrow-raising exchange, as the new president of Pakistan lavished praise on Palin's looks.Well, she handled herself as well as could be expected in that situation, although I am of the opinion that it should not be considered impolite to say, "Kindly fuck yourself" to anyone who engages in belittling sexism, as long as you do it with a smile.
…Pakistan's recently-elected president, Asif Ali Zardari, entered the room seconds later. Palin rose to shake his hand, saying she was "honored" to meet him. Zardari then called her "gorgeous" and said: "Now I know why the whole of America is crazy about you."
"You are so nice," Palin said, smiling. "Thank you."
A handler from Zardari's entourage then told the two politicians to keep shaking hands for the cameras. "If he's insisting, I might hug," Zardari said. Palin smiled politely.
[H/T to Shaker SamanthaB. Sarah Palin Sexism Watch: Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen. We defend Sarah Palin against misogynist smears not because we endorse her or her politics, but because that's how feminism works.]
Congratulations…
…to Shakesville contributor Shark-fu, proprietor of Angry Black Bitch, which has just been named Best Blog in St. Louis by the alt-weekly Riverfront Times. Woot!
(And thanks to another one of St. Louis' finest bloggers, my friend Phil Barron of Waveflux, for the heads-up.)
Wanda Sykes on Sarah Palin (and Other Political Stuff)
[Transcript below.]
Shaker rrp sent this to me [via Corrente] with the label: "How to be funny about Sarah Palin without being a sexist asshole." Now, I adore Wanda Sykes to itty bitty teensy weensy pieces anyway (her bit about how different the world would be for women if our vaginas were detachable is insanely brilliant and agonizingly funny), but I just want to give her eight thousand hugs for this. Let's break down the awesomeness:
1. Calls herself a feminist right on the freaking Tonight Show.
2. Flatly says it's sexist to talk about how many kids Sarah Palin has.
3. Never says a word about Palin's appearance, her daughter's pregnancy, or any other irrelevant shit.
4. While being funny, sticks totally to legitimate issues: Palin's relative lack of experience, her dubious foreign policy credentials, her being kept from the press, and her résumé's frightening similarity to Bush's when he took office.
5. And then, in the coup de grace, she turns utterly on its head both the sexist charge that Palin's got too many kids for the job and the diametrically sexist claim that she'll be a rightwing supermom who takes care of her kids on the job—and points out that neither one are true because Palin will, like anyone else in that position, hire help as required. She utterly mocks both stupid assumptions by affecting Palin on the phone with a foreign leader: "Hold on, Vladimir, my baby wants to say hi. Say hi to Vladimir! Hi, Vladimir! Say hi!" It isn't a sexist attack on Palin—it's a direct hit on the sexist presumptions about her.
It's extremely clever, classic Sykes, and spot-on. And, yeah, it is indeed how to be funny about Sarah Palin without being a sexist asshole. Thanks, Wanda.
Transcript:
Jay Leno: Welcome back—talking with Wanda Sykes. We got the presidential race there, McCain, Obama, whaddaya think? Where you at here?
Wanda Sykes: Well, you know, I watched the conventions, and, you know, watching the Democratic convention, it felt like America, you know? It looked like America. It was hopeful and it was positive and, you know, everybody holding hands. And then I watched the Republican convention—it was like watching a meeting at Dr. Evil's lair. It was like the old—it's like old, evil people got together and they were having their evil board meeting, and—
Leno: Really?
Sykes: —and each of 'em at the board meeting got up, and each one would tell their plan of how they're gonna, what they're gonna do with the evil.
Leno: Yeah.
Sykes: And it was just so tense and scary. 'Cuz you know those Dr. Evil board meetings, somebody gets it, you know—
Leno: Yeah, somebody presses the button—
Sykes: They press a button—
Leno: —go through the floor—
Sykes: —and you go through the floor to the pile of alligators or something.
Leno: Right, right.
Sykes: And I was tense, and I was—it's usually the weakest one, and I figured that's why Bush didn't show up. He knew.
Leno: Oh, I see, sure.
Sykes: Bush is like, "I'm doing this via satellite." 'Cuz, you know, he was scared. He was like—next thing you know, Giuliani runs up behind him with a baseball bat and [mimes swinging bat].
Leno: Wow. Wow.
Sykes: He walks out on the stage, and he's like, "Why is there plastic on the floor? What's going on?" Like the scene from Goodfellas, you know, he's like [mimes confused look].
Leno: Well, you seem to know all these movies. Now, what are you expecting of the debate Friday? You gonna watch? It should be interesting.
Sykes: I'm gonna watch. And please, everybody, please—Jay, this is the most important election, I know in my lifetime—
Leno: Yeah.
Sykes: —it's the most important—I'm not saying, I'm sure your lifetime, too, Jay, I'm not saying, you know, you old…
Leno: Well, to me, of course, Howard Taft—that was my president.
Sykes: But, it's very—and I can't believe there's still people who aren't registered.
Leno: Right.
Sykes: There's still people out there, and I'm like—I think that there should be a list of people who don't vote; we should make a big list, and anything that bad happens, they should get it first. You know? Years from now, when we driving around in our electric cars, we should still make them pay twelve dollars for gas.
Leno: Oh, I see. Yeah.
Sykes: They should get it, I mean, it's—it's very important. But, yeah, so I'm gonna watch the debates. Well, of course, you know, I'm for Obama, man, come on.
Leno: Really? Now I'm surprised.
Sykes: You're shocked?!
Leno: I'm shocked; I thought—
Sykes: You're shocked! You're shocked.
Leno: —I had you pegged for a Republican. I'm stunned.
Sykes: You pegged me for a Republican? Yeah, maybe it's all my conservative views.
Leno: Yeah, that could be it.
Sykes: [makes sarcastic face]
Leno: Now, of course, McCain is—
Sykes: Or my love for the elderly. Maybe that's it.
Leno: Yeah, that could be. Now, McCain has picked Sarah Palin. As a woman, I imagine you're beaming with pride, that she's, uh, this seems exactly like what you would want, so excited that a fellow member of your sex has now risen to this lofty— [looks at Sykes' grim expression and laughs]. Am I wrong?
Sykes: Jay, I'm a feminist, but, I'm sorry, that woman's crazy. That's a crazy, scary lady right there. Gun-totin', you know, and shooting caribou, and—she, I mean, I mean, come on, Jay—this, and, you ask me what do I think about her? There's really nothing to think about, I mean, she—we don't know anything about her. They don't let her talk. Today, they say, "Oh, she's meeting with the world leaders," but there's no reporters. I'm like, "Is she meeting with the world leaders, or did ya'll take her to the Epcot Center and let her 'drink around the world'?" You know, 'cuz I've done that!
Leno: Yeah.
Sykes: Maybe I should be Secretary of State! I have more foreign—you know, the woman, she just got a passport last year.
Leno: Right.
Sykes: She has been to Mexico. Does this ring a bell? George W. Bush? Come on. This is—he hadn't been anywhere! She like, "I can see Russia from my backyard." What what what what?! What—while you were delivering letters to Santy Claus at the North Pole? I mean, are we stupid? You know, and I hate when they say, "Well, you know"—and it is sexist to ask people, you know, "How can she be president or maybe vice president, vice president or maybe president, with five kids?" That is sexist. You would never ask a man that. But for ya'll who have these visions of, she's gonna be some mom and also V.P., get that outcha head; she's gonna do what every—what all the other people do: She will pay somebody to take care of those damn kids! She ain't gonna be in the White House changing diapers in the Oval Office! She better not be—I hope she never sees those kids when she's in office. If she—she got stuff to handle. She better not be on the phone talking about "Hold on, Vladimir, my baby wants to say hi. Say hi to Vladimir! Hi, Vladimir! Say hi!" Outta they damn minds. I'm sorry, I just don't buy it. She is—there's nothing there. Absolutely nothing there.
Leno: Well, you shouldn't hold back like this. I wanna know how you feel!
Sykes: [laughs]
