Shakesville

Fat Princess Greatest Hits

The Fat Princess Flypaper Post, aka Shakesville Trollwarz 2008, is still going strong at almost 2,000 comments. At least 24 hours ago, it reached the point where even the Disqus community page for the thread was becoming a browser-crasher if your computer is more than 5 minutes old, and I know there are some Shakers who're sad they're missing out on all the fun.

But you know I'm nothing if not accommodating, so here, for your amusement, amazement, and edification, are:

The Top 10 Fat Princess Troll Droppings
10. Why is heteronormativity part of your post? Why is there? I think I know why its there. Its there for reason and that reason is 'Intelligence'. […] Lady....who gave you permission to use the internet?

9. It's a fucking video game, are you going to complain anytime they have girls in videogames? If they're not fat, they're too sexy, if they're ugly, than their womanizing.

8. Gamers who buy games with racism (you could even mark Call of Duty 4 racist) are not racists. They just like racist jokes.

7. You have been programmed by the matriarchy to regard all gamers as anti-women and shallow.

6. With all pretence of being at all polite pushed aside everything said just comes across as pathetic anger bread of a dissatisfied life.

[Mmm…pathetic anger bread. Can we feature that recipe in Shaker Gourmet, Misty?—MM.]

5. You eat, you get fat. It's a good message.

4. It's people like you who ruin women.

3. lol your fat.

2. I decided anything I posted on this blog would be brushed off as me being a fat hating, homophobic misogynist, so I got my mom to post here instead. She is an overweight woman who has a different opinion than your own, and you call her a fuckneck and ban her.

1. Seriously, learn to logic.

* * *
Yeah, Shakers, seriously—learn to logic. And please drop your own faves from the thread of the damned into comments.

And, btw, Shakers—you're totally fooking awesome.

Patriotic Image of the Day

Friday Blogaround

Learn to logic, Shakers.

Recommended Reading:

Visit Kevin, Elle, and Renee to read their reviews of CNN's "Black in America" Special Report.

Katecontinued: Classroom Repression and Expression

Karnythia: The Audacity of Bodily Autonomy

Muhammad Cohen: America's Muslim Problem

Echidne: One Hundred

Jorge Garcia: The Day I Lost a Whole Outfit

Leave your links in comments...

Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime

Noozles

Question of the Day

With a nod to our Quote of the Day: What is your favorite film about aliens coming to Earth?

I loved loved loved Starman as a kid. I watched the fuck outta that film; the other day, Iain was flipping channels upstairs while I was walking below the loft downstairs, and I heard one note of the score and said, "Oh, was that Starman?" Iain's reply was that, yes, it was Starman, and also that I'm certifiable.

Loved E.T. when I was a kid, but it didn't hold up as well for me. I watched The Last Starfighter again recently; that was still pretty fun.

I also really like Contact and Signs, and, of course, Close Encounters. I'm sure there are loads I'm forgetting. I tend to like films where aliens and humans are mutually curious about each other, rather than the hostile invasion type stuff (although I rather embarrassingly adore Independence Day).

Me and My Teaspoon

by Shaker Shaminey

Hello Shakers! Liss, first a HUGE thanks for asking me to do this post. I'm a little intimidated by how much I admire this blog and all its readers, so forgive me if I'm a bit nervous.

That said; I'm thrilled. I just completed 2 sessions to get my new teaspoon tattoo! (For those of you who are regulars around here, you of course know of Liss' teaspoon thread. If not, here it is.)

Ever since my first tattoo 2 years ago, I was hooked. I wanted another one, but was apprehensive about getting another piece of art. I didn't want something pretty for pretty's sake; I did that with the first one. I was looking for something deeper, something to forever ground me in who I am and what I'm trying to do with this life. I had debated the traditional feminist iconography (the fist, etc.), but felt it pigeonholed me into a single movement. Liss' post provided the imagery I was looking for. I am eternally appreciative.

The piece itself took on many different manifestations in the creative process. My tattoo artist (Jason, see his stuff here) first asked me "What does your teaspoon look like?" (Deep, huh?) I originally was going to go with a shiny silver spoon. He suggested, based on my pasty white skin, I go with a warm brassy tone. Brassy? By definition the word means shamelessly bold: Hells yah!

I had pulled out some images of flatware off the interwebz to show him, then threw them out when I decided I didn't want something out of an Oneida catalog on my body. I designed the handle to be a single line drawing of a woman's form, and then had Jason take over. I told him: "Make her big and curvy, with hips for miles: the anti-Barbie."

The only thing left to decide was where to put it. Ugh. I cannot overstate how hard this is to work through. I had almost forgotten how much serious thought this required for tattoo #1—about what it means to put a tattoo on your body, how often the topic of tattoos come up, the inevitability of someone asking to see it. Not to mention what it means depending on the location you choose.

As an aspiring American Sign Language interpreter, there are only so many places I can put a tattoo. It can't be visible on my arms or hands. Right now I'm not that into leg tattoos (though that could change). It also seems that adorning the small of a woman's back has been tainted with the misogynistic terms "tramp stamp," "bulls-eye," or "landing pad," objectifying the body rather than celebrating it. After eliminating all these other options, I'm left with the torso. I decided to get it on my rib cage traveling down to my lower belly.

To be honest, I was stuck between dread and euphoria. I'm almost 30 and trying to come to terms with my "not 20 anymore" body. Generally I'm pretty happy with it. On a whole. But when I spend more than a minute looking at any specific area, I furrow my brow and want to head to the gym, stop getting sugar in my coffee or regret the feta in my salad that afternoon. I know how toxic this is. I know I'm holding myself to an unrealistic standard. I know, I know—you don't need to tell me. I had a hard time resisting the urge to do 300 sit-ups a night because someone was going to have his hands and face 6 inches from my belly.

I eventually came to terms with this body of mine and said eff-it. I embraced the me I have and knew that getting THIS tattoo was another step in the process.

To sum up…I love it. I love the curves it hugs. I'm thrilled with the artistry that I could never have conceived alone. Thank you both, again.

[Click to embiggen.]

Obama in Berlin

The speech.

Via TPM.

Meanwhile, as Chet notes below, jealousy rears its combed-over head.

(Cross-posted.)

Breaking News: Vaginas, Trigonometry Not Incompatible After All

I'm shocked, I tell you—shocked: Math study finds girls are just as good as boys. (Nice headline. Snort.)

Sixteen years after Barbie dolls declared, "Math class is tough!" girls are proving that when it comes to math they are just as tough as boys. In the largest study of its kind, girls measured up to boys in every grade, from second through 11th. The research was released Thursday in the journal Science.

Parents and teachers persist in thinking boys are simply better at math, said Janet Hyde, the University of Wisconsin-Madison researcher who led the study. And girls who grow up believing it wind up avoiding harder math classes.

"It keeps girls and women out of a lot of careers, particularly high-prestige, lucrative careers in science and technology," Hyde said.

Mmm. Yes, that—plus the "demeaning and condescending attitudes, lots of off-color jokes, sexual innuendo, arrogance; colleagues, particularly in the tech culture, who genuinely think women don't have what it takes—who see them as genetically inferior." Just off the top of my head, possibly there are so many men who see themselves as genetically superior because they've been erroneously told all their lives that they are.

I always tested higher on aptitude tests in math/science than I did in language. Now that I have official reassurance that proximity to a calculator won't detonate my vajayjay, I'm giving up the blogging biz and setting out to fulfill my dream of becoming a mad scientist-cum-evil genius who will hold the entire planet hostage to my every whim under constant threat of death by Doomsday Laser.

[H/T Oddjob.]

Fear Not, Shakesvillians!

Ahoy-hoy, Shakers! Who among you good people has summoned me to the fore...?

Shaker Jay in Oregon, I swear to the everloving fates above and below this earth upon which I stand in my dapper spats, that if you don't stop abusing the Grumbles Signal like some dastardly rapscallion with gruel for brains, there will be hell to pay! Hell. To. Pay.

Young man, I am the Head Detector of Potions, Elixirs, and Poisons for the US Government and Its Occupied Territories. My vocation is of vital importance to this fine nation, and I cannot spend my afternoons on a wild goose chase after the source of the Grumbles Signal because you fancy a snicker-doo at my expense!

So listen here and listen well, you roustabout: I am a competent and efficient fisticuffer, and I will not hesitate to box you or any other cheeky crumblebum about the ears until you beg for my mercy if you unleash the 'stache again for nothing more than a twiddle-dee-dee! Is that understood?

Good day!

Scenes from the Freedom-Spreading

Iain just sent me this article about two young gay men living in Iraq with the note: "By the way—a rape trigger warning would definitely apply here." In addition to his warning, I'm going to add a possible trigger re: LGBTQ violence, as well.

It's a truly upsetting piece, underlining once again the catastrophic damage we've wrought for so many Iraqis. It's certainly not the first time we've heard that the environment in Iraq has become more hostile to LGBTQ Iraqis since we invaded, but this story was especially blub-inducing for me. In particular, I was struck by two passages:

Since the fall of Saddam Hussein in 2003, the situation for gays and lesbians in Iraq has deteriorated. Ridiculed under Hussein, many now find themselves the targets of violence, according to humanitarian officials.

And:

Both men hope to escape Iraq. They say their ideal destination would be San Francisco, California.

I don't know if I can even put into words how profoundly the juxtaposition of those two excerpts breaks my heart, for the young men at their center and for my country. It is what I most disdain about this nation that led us into this war, that put the targets on these young men's backs. It is what I most love about this nation that makes them nonetheless want to live here, even in spite of our being the cause of their fear and their pain and their very desire to leave their homes.

We get some things so very right, and some things so very wrong, all at the same time—and damn if that doesn't make eyes burn and my chest hurt.

I'm so sorry, Kamal and Rami. I wish we'd brought more of San Francisco to you in the first place. I hope you find your way there.

[As an aside, please note CNN's unapologetic use of the word "rape" here and lack of victim-blaming. This is not a thread in which to discuss this, but it's something to note for next time we have an occasion to talk about their terrible reporting on the rape of a woman.]

Quote of the Day

"I thought I'd stumbled on some sort of astronaut humour but he was absolutely serious that aliens are definitely out there and there's no debating it."—Radio host Nick Margerrison, who was interviewing former astronaut and Apollo 14 moonwalker Edgar Mitchell when Mitchell claimed that aliens exist and "have visited Earth on several occasions—but the alien contact has been repeatedly covered up by governments for six decades."

SYTYCD!

I thought last night's show was very good overall. I liked a lot of the routines though none were particularly jaw-dropping WOW! to me. One highlight was Tyce DiOrio's broadway routine:

Twitch and Katee
I like Twitch and Katee together (and apparently they knew each other before the show too). Their other routine was one choreographed by Mia Michaels:

Anyone shocked that Mia choreographed something that included a "psycho ex-girlfriend"? I had to laugh when I watched the preview talking about what the routine was because I could almost hear what Liss would be saying at her tv far, far from my house, lol.

Chelsie and Joshua are paired up this week and I thought they did well with both of their routines. I enjoyed the Argentine tango:

Their disco routine seemed clunky in parts but I think that's just because there were eleventy-meeeellion lifts in it.

A favorite of the judges was Will and Courtney's slow hip-hop that was choreographed by Tabitha and Napoleon:

While it was definitely good and emotional, I don't think it's going to make the show history as Will predicted. I liked their samba better:

Comfort and Mark were paired this week and had one great routine--hip-hop:

But their fox trot was, well, not so good. It wasn't horrible or anything but I'm glad they had a really good routine with the hip-hop though.

Out of all the solos, I liked Will's James Brown one. I'm still not feeling Mark's solos. So, what who do you think will go?

Patriotic Image of the Day

This Day in History

In 1567: Mary, Queen of Scots, was deposed.

In 1701: The city of Detroit was founded as a fort by a French fur trader.

In 1866: Tennessee was readmitted to the Union.

In 1911: Hiram Bingham discovered the lost Inca settlement of Machu Picchu.

In 1969: The Apollo 11 astronauts splashed down in the Pacific after their historic mission.

In 1974: The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled that Nixon had to turn over White House tapes to the Watergate special prosecutor.

In 1999: We were married on a sweltering midwest summer day!

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." ~Antoine de Saint Exupéry

Gee Your Boob Smells Terrific

Or, U.S. Patent 7,255,627, a bra convertible to a facemask to protect wearers from contaminated air "as a result of biological or chemical warfare, poison-based weaponry, pollution or other environmental circumstances." Nice illustration:

By the way, I'm hoping this will change Liss' stance on bra wearing and boob freedom. Buckle up for safety, my friend!

(Via Harper's.)

Opinion vs. Reporting

There's an interesting article up at Politico.com regarding Republicans/Conservatives "losing the new media war." According to the author, the Right is losing the online political news battle, because so much of conservative "news" is opinion-based, and not actual news-breaking reporting.

I'm sure people on the right will complain, shouting about ground-breaking hot stories involving kerning and photoshopped smoke, but I find it difficult to argue with this:

Deploying writers with backgrounds grounded in journalism rather than politics, The Huffington Post and Talking Points Memo, in particular, have already become a persistent problem for McCain’s campaign, regularly posting negative opposition research and embarrassing videos in addition to advancing damaging story lines against the GOP nominee.

There is simply no equivalent on the right to these two liberal-leaning websites.

I'm sure Michelle Malkin would disagree, but feverishly, obsessively, crazily stalking the Frost Family isn't exactly "reporting," as much as it is despicable behavior.

What do you, the audience at home think? Discuss.

Lewis Black: End of an Empire Sale!

Everyone has a price, ladies and gentlemen. There's your real patriotism!

Hypo-Critical

So, the John Edwards Love Child story is back, after the National Enquirer wrote a new piece (and follow-up) about Edwards meeting with his alleged mistress, Rielle Hunter, in a hotel in LA. Edwards still denies he fathered Hunter's child; his long-time associate and friend Andrew Young still claims he (Young) is the father. Anonymous sources claim otherwise.

I've got no bloody idea; I hope that it isn't true and fear that it is.

My only interest in the story at the moment is the increasing complaint that the mainstream media isn't running with it. Over at Slate, Mickey Kaus apoplectically details everyone who isn't talking about it, while Jack Shafer asserts that the reason "the press" (excepting Slate, evidently) is "ignoring the Edwards 'love child' story" is because "a double standard is at work." Drawing a comparison between the press coverage of the Larry Craig restroom arrest and the Edwards story, Shafer says that hypocrisy was the difference—then proceeds to get the nature of said hypocrisy precisely wrong.

At one point, he notes, "Edwards, too, may be a sex hypocrite," as if the phrase "sex hypocrite" isn't nothing but hyperbole with no real meaning at all. Later, he asks, "Is he, like Craig, a public hypocrite?"—a phrase with potentially two meanings. Craig was a public hypocrite in the sense that he publicly represented himself as a straight husband who was both conservative and anti-gay, but he was also a public hypocrite in the sense that, in his official capacity as an elected Republican politician representing voters in the public (i.e. government) sphere, he endorsed anti-gay policy and advocated anti-gay legislation.

Edwards potentially shares in common with Craig only the first meaning of the term "public hypocrite," in that his alleged private failings as an adulterer may be publicly exposed—but it's really the second meaning that matters. Did he attempt to legislate against the very thing about himself he was hiding? No.

Shafer's conflation of the two meanings in an attempt to draw an equivalence is entirely disingenuous, even despite his casually ginormous caveat that the two situations "aren't completely analogous." Perhaps "the press" realizes that as well as anyone else with two brain cells knocking together would—and that's why they're ignoring the story.

OFFS

I know I've said a thousand times that our political system is populated by a bunch of spoiled, tantrum-prone six-year-olds, but this recent whining by McCain's followers really takes the cake.

McCain camp cries foul
Washington - In a campaign week dominated by Barack Obama's trip abroad, the pro-John McCain camp has made headlines by complaining about coverage of Senator Obama's trip abroad.

Waahh, waahh, waahh. Not to point out the obvious, but a Presidential candidate traveling abroad and being well-received is pretty damn big news these days. He's even managing to keep his hands to himself in Germany... wow! The article goes on to warn McCain that complaining about the media could hurt him more than help him, but this is the part that really got me:

"What you have here is a preemptive strike, a traditional tactic of politicians," says David Paletz, a political scientist at Duke University. "If you complain enough about media bias, journalists to some extent internalize it and think we have to be as tough, or maybe we're not being as tough on Obama as we are on McCain."

Tough? Tough? On McCain??

Don't make me fucking laugh.

Update: Don't make a big deal of it. This is the best they can do. I am convinced that this planet is being bombarded by Invisible Stupid Rays from Space.

Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime

The Rootie Kazootie Club