Shakesville

Boo!

GOP presidential candidate Tom Tancredo reminds us what this election should really be about: Xenophobic scapegoating and exploiting Teh Fear of teh Brown Peoplez.

Tancredo: Hi, I'm Tom Tancredo, and I approve this message, because someone needs to say it.

VO: Mothers killed. Children executed. The tactics of vicious Central American gangs now on US soil. Pushing Drugs. Raping Kids. Destroying Lives. Thanks to gutless politicians, who refuse to defend our borders. One man dares say what must be done. Secure the borders. Deport those who don't belong. Make sure they never come back.

Oy. Dave Neiwert has the lowdown on why this a load of poppycock in practical terms (e.g. deporting members of drugs gangs is "how authorities have been handling these gangs. And, well, it hasn't exactly had the best results")—to which I've got nothing to add, except making the obvious point that the vast majority of rapes and murders committed against women and children in America is done by American citizens.

Which doesn't mean I think we shouldn't care about illegal immigrants who commit such crimes; it just means I think we shouldn't pretend they're the only ones who do.

Chalk it up to my usual aversion to disingenuous horseshit.

Cheney's Psychic Hotline

Cheney said that by the middle of January 2009, it will be clear that “we have in fact achieved our objective in terms of having a self-governing Iraq that’s capable for the most part of defending themselves, a democracy in the heart of the Middle East, a nation that will be a positive force in influencing the world around it in the future.”

Cheney went on to say that by the middle of January, it will be clear that Iraq would then be someone else's problem for the foreseeable future.

[H/T to Oddjob]

In Which I Take a Look at How Absurdly Stupid Huckabee's "Reasonable-Sounding" Position on Same-Sex Marriage Really Is

I know, more Huckabee—but it's not my fault that his tiresome ass is all over the news today. Blame the media and their inexplicable fascination with promoting yet another aw-shucksing god-botherer, 'cuz that crush panned out great the last time around.

Anyway, GQ has published an interview with the man o' the hour, and while it is a virtual treasure trove of material (his wanting to give Keith Richards "a full pardon before God for all the things he’s done" was interesting; since when is that his job?), I'm going to stick to his asinine rant about same-sex marriage. In fact, I'm going to stick to only two lines of it.

You have to have a basic family structure.

Huckabee insists it's not that he's against same-sex marriage as much as it is that he's for "traditional marriage," because civilization would collapse (seriously—we'll get to that in a minute) without its basic family structure.

Which leaves me with just one question: Is this guy really unaware of the fact that there's no such thing as a "basic family structure" in America?!

There are two-parent homes with parents of the opposite sex; there are two-parent homes with parents of the same sex. There are single mom homes and single dad homes. Some kids are raised by one or both grandparents. Some kids are raised by a parent and grandparent, or a parent and aunt/uncle, or some combination thereof. Some kids are raised by much-older siblings. Some kids are raised in communities in which all the parents parent all the kids. Some families don't include kids at all. I have known families in all of these combinations—and there is absolutely nothing to suggest that one manifestation of family is inherently superior to the others.

People like Huckabee like to say more "reasonable-sounding" things in response to that, like, "We recognize that there are variations on the traditional family, but we think the traditional family is the best model." And you know what? That's bunk, too. Because it's just not the best model for everyone. Let's take the example of a straight, married couple I met in which the wife had a severe physical disability. His insurance covered her healthcare needs, so he could not be a stay-at-home parent; she could, but needed help, so his recently-widowed mother moved in with them to help with childcare. They affectionately called themselves a "three-parent home," and it worked brilliantly for them.

Naturally, Huckabee et. al. wouldn't object to this set-up, even though it resembles no more and no less their "traditional family" than a two-parent household with parents of the same sex. Some deviations (ahem) are more bothersome than others, I guess. They can dress it up in whatever load of "reasonable-sounding" malarkey they want, but underneath it's still the same naked bigotry.

There’s never been a civilization that has rewritten what marriage and family means and survived.

What total rubbish. I'd really love Mr. History to point to one example—just one—of a civilization that did rewrite "what marriage and family means" but didn't survive, specifically because of that decision.

…crickets…

Yeah, that's what I thought.

When you unpack Huckabee's defense of his position against same-sex marriage from its "reasonable-sounding" mooring, it's nothing but wholesale preposterous claptrap. And I'm totally bloody exhausted of seeing this abject stupidity repeatedly intoned in defense of a nonexistent tradition, as if it's profound.

Profoundly daft, maybe.

Suffer Little Children

From the I’m-Not-Making-This-Shit-Up Files comes this story.

The Catholic Church in NYC has begun distributing a coloring book called "Being Friends, Being Safe, Being Catholic" which warns kids of the dangers of pedophile priests.

I don’t know if this is a bad idea, but I’m pretty sure it’s not a good one.

One image in the book features a guardian angel hovering over an altar boy with a priest lurking in the background.

"For safety's sake, a child and an adult shouldn't be alone in a closed room together," the angel counsels. In another, the angel warns of a sexual predator attempting to chat with a child over the Internet.

It's interesting that the guardian angel is only there to offer advice. Why can't the angel do something more effective? You know, like making Father Wanky's hands fall off, or smiting him with a lightning bolt? I guess it's up to the kids to not get themselves molested. Angels have other things on their plates. So does the Church.

No word on what kind of coloring book has been distributed to the clergy. Maybe something about why it’s so very, very bad to touch altar boys. Of course, that should be obvious, as should be why it’s wrong for Archbishops to shelter child molesters, even those who are good at coloring inside the lines.

A Tale of Two Stories

Nov. 26: Bush pushes for more abstinence-only sex ed funding despite mountains of evidence that abstinence-only sex ed doesn't work.

Today: The nation's teen birth rate increased 3% between 2005 and 2006, rising for the first time in 14 years following a slowdown in recent years of the steady decline that began in 1991. "The birth data for 2006 also showed births to unmarried mothers hit a new record high, and the overall birth rate has climbed to its highest level since 1971."

Huh.

Caption This Photo

"The podling is developing nicely."

"Xenu will be pleased."

[Via Michael K.]

Prove It

The people who believe in the fundamentalist interpretation of the bible say that God created the world in six days and that he did it about 6,000 years ago. Period, the end, that's it, and anything else is heresy. Others less rigid have granted that the biblical definition of a "day" is fluid and that it could have been longer than our 24-hour day, and that there is room for interpretation of fables and mythology. However, they still think that the Creation story as depicted in the book of Genesis should be taught in schools and given the same weight as the theories that were first postulated by Charles Darwin and followed up by other scientists.

Frankly, I don't have a problem with teaching the biblical story of Creation in the public schools. However, I do have a problem with teaching it along side evolution in a science curriculum because it doesn't belong there any more than the warp theories of Zefram Cochrane. It isn't because I'm anti-religion...or anti-Star Trek. It doesn't belong in a science curriculum for one very simple reason: science deals in provable facts, and so far, no one has been able to provide any factual, evidentiary proof that the Genesis story of the creation of the universe took place. When they can do that, then we'll talk about teaching about Adam and Eve in Biology. (The same goes for Cochrane's theories in Physics.)

The argument from the fundamentalists is that there's no real scientific proof of Darwin's theories, either. Actually, there is a lot (and PZ Myers has a lot of fun proving it), but that's just a diversion from the real point: can anyone scientifically prove the story in Genesis? They also come up with a lot of circumstantial evidence (and unintentionally hilarious bits of humor) and they call it "Intelligent Design," but in the end, they say you have to fill in the yawning gaps in their theories with faith in God. That's fine for theology, but it's not science.

Scientists will debate the finer points of evolution and come up with ideas about the origin of life and the universe. Some may say that Darwin was wrong. That doesn't prove Genesis or "intelligent design" right. Even if they scientifically eliminated every plausible explanation for how life began and evolved, it doesn't mean that fables and legends are right.

It's not hard to understand why humans crave a simple, supernatural explanation for the origins of the world and life. It's comforting to think that we are nestled in the loving arms of an infinite creator and that he provides all the answers for the unknowable things, all the disturbing realities, and that there is something solid in this world that can be relied on. Frankly, I envy people who can be so sure in their faith that it overrides their natural human curiosity to discover what lies beyond Genesis. It's one less thing to think about in this crazy world.

But I think that the fundamentalists who are demanding that creationism be taught in a science curriculum are doing a disservice to their faith. The stories of Creation in many cultures are a rich and telling testimony to the people and the civilizations that create them. Listen to the fascinating tales of adventure and character in the Apache or Australian aboriginal histories and you are swept up in the intricacies of their imagination; you wish you were there when it happened. To subject the Genesis story to the cold and harsh light of scientific analysis takes away the wonder and the teachings of how our culture, for lack of a better word, evolved. It should be examined not for its scientific merit but for its beauty and the revelations it contains about the wonderfully complex and maddening Creation that is humanity. And until someone can prove that God truly did create this universe in six days, leave Genesis as proof of humanity's greatest ability: the power to wonder where we came from. You can't do that in a laboratory.

Cross-posted from Bark Bark Woof Woof.

Quote of the Day

"To understand what is really being fought over when we fight over the IQ gap between blacks and whites, its authors explain, you must think through an analogy. Imagine two wheat fields. Now imagine two genetically identical sets of seeds. (The analogy was first made famous by the Harvard evolutionary biologist and geneticist Richard Lewontin.) Now imagine each field is planted with these two identical seed stocks. Field No. 1 is given the best possible inputs: sunshine intensity, rain, soil nitrates, etc. Field No. 2 is given much less of all of the above. Within each field, inputs are kept uniform. Inevitably, the first field grows a healthier supply of grain than the second. But here is the rub: Within each field, the variation in outcomes is entirely hereditary. Between the two fields, the variation in outcomes in entirely environmental."

— Stephen Metcalf, in "Dissecting the IQ Debate: A response to William Saletan's series on race and IQ." The whole article is worth a read. [H/T Ezra.]

Warning: Taser May Cause Ineptitude

Via esteemed frost mage John Cole, comes this story about a group of police officers who feel it's proper procedure to apply electricity to someone who just got out of a bath:

Donnell Williams had just gotten out of the bath tub, wearing only a towel around his waist, when he turned the corner to see guns pointing right at him.

"I ain't never been so scared," says Williams.

Police forced entry into Williams home while responding to a shooting, but it turned out to be a false call. They had no idea at the time the call wasn't real and that Williams is hearing impaired. Without his hearing aid he is basically deaf.

"I kept going to my ear yelling that I was scared. I can't hear! I can't hear!"

Officers were worried about their own safety because at the time it appeared Williams was refusing to obey their commands to show his hands. That's when they shot him with a Taser.

Deputy Chief Robert Lee of the Wichita Police Department says, "This one occurred on the worst of calls, that being a shooting. The first few minutes getting control of the scene are very, very important."

Once the facts were all sorted out, officers repeatedly apologized to Williams. Police wish it never happened, but with the information they had at the time, their choices were limited.

I'm having trouble reconciling the fact that multiple officers were not able to overpower a single man wearing a bath towel. I guess if this happened 40 years ago, their "limited choices" would've forced them to simply shoot the guy in the head.

Huckabee and the Released Serial Rapist Who Moved on to Murder

When it rains Huckabee, it pours…

A lot of people are linking to Murray Waas' piece in the Huffington Post, Documents Expose Huckabee's Role In Serial Rapist's Release, which I highly encourage you to read (as well as Waas' 2002 article in the Arkansas Times about the case, to which I linked back in May)—because Huckabee's role as governor in getting Wayne Dumond released is not just some trumped-up bulllshit. It's extremely important, not only because it is indicative of his increasingly obvious contempt for women, but because it illustrative of an unwillingness to accept responsibility or hold himself (or his people) accountable. (Sound familiar?)

While on the campaign trail, Huckabee has claimed that he supported the 1999 release of Wayne Dumond because, at the time, he had no good reason to believe that the man represented a further threat to the public. Thanks to Huckabee's intervention, conducted in concert with a right-wing tabloid campaign on Dumond's behalf, Dumond was let out of prison 25 years before his sentence would have ended.

"There's nothing any of us could ever do," Huckabee said Sunday on CNN when asked to reflect on the horrific outcome caused by the prisoner's release. "None of us could've predicted what [Dumond] could've done when he got out."

But the confidential files obtained by the Huffington Post show that Huckabee was provided letters from several women who had been sexually assaulted by Dumond and who indeed predicted that he would rape again - and perhaps murder - if released.

In a letter that has never before been made public, one of Dumond's victims warned: "I feel that if he is released it is only a matter of time before he commits another crime and fear that he will not leave a witness to testify against him the next time." Before Dumond was granted parole at Huckabee's urging, records show that Huckabee's office received a copy of this letter from Arkansas' parole board.

No one could have predicted. The GOP should make that their new party slogan.

I'll also again recommend this piece in the Arkansas Democrat Gazette by Gene Lyons, which describes Huckabee as "rash, devious, incapable of admitting error, a crybaby and definitely not…presidential material."

Huckabee: On Top of the News

Yes, this presidential candidate is all over the NIE report:

Reporter: I don’t know to what extent you have been briefed or been able to take a look at the NIE report that came out yesterday ...

Huckabee: I’m sorry?

Reporter: The NIE report, the National Intelligence Estimate on Iran. Have you been briefed or been able to take a look at it —

Huckabee: No.

Reporter: Have you heard of the finding?

Huckabee: No.

Reporter: Douchehoundsayszuh?

Huckabee: Zuh?

[H/T to ThinkProgress]

Huckabee's Really Getting on My Last Good Nerve Now

Gomer Pyle is all testy, because people have the gall to keep asking him about his religious beliefs all the time:

[Huckabee] bristled Tuesday when asked if creationism should be taught in public schools.

Huckabee — who raised his hand at a debate last May when asked which candidates disbelieved the theory of evolution — asked this time why there is such a fascination with his beliefs.

Because you want to legislate them, dipshit. That makes them kind of a need-to-know issue for the rest of us.

The former Arkansas governor pointed out he has advocated for broad public school course lists that include the creative arts and math and science. Why, then, he asked, is evolution such a fascination?

Because you passed a dinner in Des Moines pontificating about "intelligent design" and advocating its being taught in schools. We want to make sure you still support science being taught in science classes, too.

Et cetera. And, by the way, if you don't want your faith to be a BFD on the campaign trail, perhaps you ought to stop compulsively reminding people that you're a Southern Baptist preacher. It's really pathetic to whinge about questions regarding your religious beliefs when you've made them the centerpiece of your campaign. Just saying.

It Was Merely "Self-Harm" to Discredit Us, Not a Desperate Attempt at Suicide

I heard this story on the BBC International morning news, which is the only place any Americans are likely to hear about it, despite the fact that it has been authenticated by US officials:

An inmate at the US detention centre in Guantanamo Bay slashed his throat with a sharpened fingernail, US officials have confirmed.

The prisoner, described by his lawyer as an Algerian held for six years, required several stitches and spent a week under psychiatric observation.

US officials characterised the incident as an act of "self-harm" rather than a suicide attempt.

…US Navy Cmdr Andrew Haynes said there was "an impressive effusion of blood" but the prisoner was treated by guards and taken to the prison clinic.

Officials would give no details of the man but lawyer Zachary Katznelson said the inmate had been held without charge for nearly six years.

Cmdr Haynes said "self-harm" incidents were a tactic to discredit US forces.

Right. Because it's impossible to imagine why someone left to rot in a prison for six years without charges, doomed to indefinite despair, would have any legitimate reason to want to end his life—except to make the people holding him look bad.

I've got a hot tip for you, Commander Haynes: You already looked bad to anyone who fondly remembers an America of not so long ago where lettres de cachet were not issued by the king to render souls sans trial to the modern-day cachots of the Bastille.

Maybe this man is a terrorist. Maybe he is not. He hasn't been charged, no less tried and found guilty. His alleged crimes have not been listed, yet he has served a six-year sentence already, with neither glimmer nor shadow of the rule of law meant to govern this nation in sight. To have the full weight of the American justice system brought down on him would be a gift; at least it would remind him he is human. Instead we have abandoned him to hopelessness, where in its gloomy bowels he knelt upon the floor, and sharpened his fingernail against stone, and plunged it into his own throat.

And then his wish to die was denied him, too.

In a final blow, our government has buried his dignity and agency beneath the accusation that he is a cunning propagandist, not merely a desperate, miserable fool at the end of his tether—because we have, for the convenience of justifying this black mark on our collective soul, turned alleged terrorists into supermen. Ignoring all evidence of human capacity to the contrary, including our own protracted grief at a thing a man like this is meant to have done, we have made him capable of resisting the utter collapse that the wretched vacuity of hope wreaks upon every other person.

We have forgotten he is human. He is trying to remind us.

Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime

Bat Masterson

What an exciting intro!

Question of the Day

The List at the Washington Post came up with the ten Christmas movies that "stink, stank, stunk."

1. “Bad Santa.” Worse movie.

2. “Silent Night, Deadly Night.” Santa slays.

3. “Jingle All the Way.” Jingle bell shlock.

4. “It Nearly Wasn’t Christmas.” If only.

5. “Jack Frost.” Brain freeze.

6. “The Ice Harvest.” Christmas in Wichita.

7. “A Very Brady Christmas.” Very. Brady. Nuff said.

8. “The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause.” Watch it and wish you had one.

9. “Fred Claus.” Ho, ho, horrible.

10. “Home Alone 4.” Please, we’re begging. Leave the kid alone.

What's your nomination for the Worst Christmas Movie Ever?

Quote of the Day

"It wouldn't quite be fair to say September 11, like, made my career. I've had a very varied career and I've done a lot of things."—Rudy Giuliani. It would, however, be fair to say that his casual diminishment of a national tragedy by equating it to his 'big break' does, like, make me puke.

W Stands for Women: Just When You Thought You Had No More Contempt Left for Bush...

Last month, I wrote about the Saudi woman who had been gang-raped and then sentenced to six months in prison and 200 lashes for appealing the verdict in the case (which originally sentenced her to 90 lashes for the crime of "being in the car of an unrelated male at the time of the rape"). At the time I noted:

That's terrorism, plain and simple. When women are tortured in this way, it a threat to other women that they, too, will be tortured if they get the idea in their pretty little heads to vigorously pursue justice after being raped. They are being terrified so they will keep silent.

This is being done by one of our "allies."

But don't expect President George "W stands for Women" Bush to give a flying shit about this brand of terrorism in Saudi Arabia when he doesn't even care about misogynist terrorism in America.

Today, CNN's Ed Henry (bless him!) asked Bush whether he raised concerns about the case during any of his recent conversations with Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah. Bush's response is a total disgrace—even for him.

Henry: On another issue of credibility in the Mid East—At the Annapolis Summit you used your influence to get Saudi Arabia to the table but I wonder whether now you will use you influence to do something about the Saudi rape case that has gotten so much international attention? What goes through your mind when you hear about a 19 year old Saudi woman getting gang raped by seven men and basically a Saudi court blames the victim and sentences her to 200 lashes? You spoke to King Abdullah by telephone in the last couple of weeks. Did you press him on this case? If so what did you say and if not, are you giving him a pass?

Bush: My first thoughts were these. What happens if this happened to my daughter? How would I react? And I would have been—I would have been very emotional, of course. I'd have been angry at those who committed the crime, and I would be angry at the state that didn't support the victim, and our opinions were expressed by Dana Perino from the pul—podium.

Henry: Did you press King Abdullah about it personally?

Bush: I talked to King Abdullah about the Middle eastern peace. I don't remember if that subject came up.

Henry: If it was that important to you why wouldn't you at that level bring it directly up to King Abdullah?

Bush: There's plenty of time. He knows our position loud and clear.

The reality, however, as noted by Think Progress, is that when Perino was asked about the case last month, she merely noted that the case is "very discouraging and outrageous" and that the White House had "hope that the verdict [will change]" with the appeals process. And if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. So what about actually doing something about it? State Department spokesperson Sean McCormack magnanimously acquiesced that "most people would find [this case] relatively astonishing" but insisted the US State Department couldn't do anything.

But, in fairness, probably no one at the State Department considers King Abdullah a personal family friend, unlike the president.

Maybe next time these two assholes go for a romantic stroll together, they could find some time to talk about the pesky issue of state-sponsored terrorism against the state's own women.

That is, if Bush can remember and all.

[More at The Carpetbagger Report and C&L.]

Newsflash: Patriarchy Still Bad for Everyone

PZ points to a tragic story about a man with a horribly disfiguring and life-restrictive tumor on his face, for which he has avoided treatment in large part because he is a Jehovah's Witness—and ergo is refusing procedures necessitating a blood transfusion (despite the fact that JW's do not universally embrace this doctrine).

PZ makes the obvious point about the callous recklessness of a religion recommending against life-saving procedures, but I'd also like to note that the indulgence of this man's adherence to a patriarchal religion has only been possible because of women (mother, sister) who have sacrificed themselves on his behalf. And it's interesting that the article notes he can't become independent because he is "unable to find work or a girlfriend," signaling the expectation of yet another woman to continue to afford him the dubious luxury of his beliefs at the expense of her own independence.

His mother did so willingly, in the sense that her religion told her to do it and so she did—but that is, after all, what she was told to do by the church elders, who naturally claim to be speaking on behalf of the Überpatriarch. It was via these earthly representatives of teh biggest daddy of all the daddies that she indoctrinated her son into his suffering—as well as her daughter, the patient's sister, now his primary caregiver since their mother's death, a woman who does not even share these beliefs but loves her brother.

In other words, another good example of how patriarchal institutions can screw everyone. Except, as ever, the patriarchs.

(And, no, I'm not saying that religion is inherently patriarchal, though organized religion, particularly associated with monotheism, almost always is.)

The View: No Host Left Behind

Although, it's pretty clear that Sherri Shepherd is so far behind that her two-year-old son has already eclipsed her. You may recall back in September when Shepherd, who is anti-evolution, simply didn't know if the world is flat or round. That one was great on its own merits, but we have a great follow-up for you.

Shepherd believes that nothing pre-dates Jesus. As Michael K noted, we've already been using B.C. date notation for quite some time, so Sherri's got some splainin' to do. I guess this also means that everything in the Old Testament really took place on or after the New Testament, which would make the New Testament the Old Testament and the Old Testament the Newish Testament ("Are you Newish? You don't look Newish."). So here's your evidence of how shitty our education system is.

The more I watch this clip, the more I question whether Sherri's really just an actress who was planted by the producers to get everyone to tune in to see someone who's as dumb as a rock, though certainly not an aggregate of minerals formed 100,000 years ago. Maybe as dumb as a pop-rock.

Transcript below the fold (thanks Arlen!)

WHOOPI: … Probably when he [Epicurus] was around, there was no
Jesus Christ stuff going on.

SHERRI: No, no, they still had Christians back then, they–

WHOOPI: [Crosstalk] No, they had their gods.

JOY: I’m doing the Al Sharpton thing, one at a time here!

SHERRI: They had Christians, and they had, they threw ‘em to the
lions!

WHOOPI: I think this might pre-date that, I think this might pre-
date that.

SHERRI: I don’t think anything pre-dated Christians.

JOY: No, no, no, the Romans– the Greeks came first!

WHOOPI: Yeah.

JOY: The Greeks came first. Then the Romans, then the Christians.

SHERRI: Jesus came first before them, so I– I– I… All right, all
right.

WHOOPI: Not on paper.

Major Malfunction

Despite Chris Matthews' insistence that Mike Huckabee looks like Kevin Spacey (via Wonkette, with the photographic evidence), I honestly don't see how anyone can look at the guy and not think "Gomer Pyle." He's a Jim Nabors doppelganger, I tells ya.

See?
Of course, while Nabors sang songs like "My Woman, My Woman, My Wife" and "Amazing Grace," Huckabee's greatest hits include "My Woman, My Incubator, My Forced Birth Machine" and "Ignorant Bigotry."

Anyway, I will take this as just more evidence that Chris Matthews doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about.

(The post title, of course, references yet another movie line I quote pretty often: "What is your major malfunction, [Private Pyle]?! Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?!" from Full Metal Jacket.)