WTF, Dobbs?
So let me see if I have this straight: CNN anchor and professional xenophobic fucknut Lou Dobbs is considering a run for president, but only if billionaire Demorepublindependent Michael Bloomberg first enters the race as a third-party candidate, alongside the Dem and GOP nominees, because then and only then will Dobbs be able to fill the coveted "fourth-party candidate" slot, from which position he would then launch an offensive against all three other candidates as being "completely out of touch."
That's the craziest shit I've ever heard.
Okay, it's not the craziest shit I've ever heard, but it's the craziest shit I've heard in the last couple of hours, and that includes a half hour of Cops when I was too lazy to find something decent to watch before Ninja Warrior came on.
So, ya know, pretty crazy.
Question of the Day
I can't believe this, but I honestly don't think we've ever done this question before...
What's the most overrated film of all time?
I know there are probably people who will forever question my judgment after this, but I have to go with The Godfather. I saw it for the first time a couple of years ago, and, although I didn't think it was a terrible film or anything, it really, really, really didn't live up to the hype.
Not helped, I admit, by my having seen about three decades of parodies and bad Brando impersonations prior to first viewing. But still.
Good News on Telecom Immunity
Tentatively, of course:
This is pretty big. As some people have been speculating today, aides to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid have confirmed to me that the version of the FISA bill that was just reported out of the Judiciary Committee does not -- repeat, does not -- contain retroactive immunity for the telecom companies.If so, I think we all owe Chris Dodd a big thank-you, for a start.
And a source close to Reid says that this is "most likely" the version that the Majority Leader will file a motion to proceed on. The aide declined to comment when this might happen, however, saying that it could happen next month.
All in all, it looks like a big victory for opponents of telecom immunity.
So Long, Tyrannosaurus of Turpitude
Petulant's got the full transcript at the above link, but here's a quick summary: Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah.
Another PortlyDyke Simple Solution
Modern life is complicated -- and getting more complicated by the day -- but never fear -- Portly Dyke is here to help!
Today's tip is for the gals. Pandagon informs us that we could accidentally become murderers if a certain constitutional amendment passes in Colorado -- just by "ridin' the cotton pony"/"gettin' a visit from Aunt Flo"/"falling to the communists"/"takin' Carrie to the prom"/"holdin' Arts and Crafts Week at Panty Camp".
That's right -- "that time of the month" could become an actual "massacre at the Y".
It's unlikely that we're going to get women to stop menstruating, but there is an easy answer -- just keep that pesky sperm away from those slutty eggs!
This could be managed with a new law which would assure that Colorado women don't become felons, and Colorado men don't become accessories to a felony. The law would state:
- Every fertile woman residing in the state of Colorado shall, by order of the state, become a lesbian.
And In This Corner...
Earlier this week, Newsweek formally announced that Markos Moulitsas would be a contributor to the magazine and website for the 2008 campaign. As ThinkProgress noted, the folks on the right were all in a dither passing out on their fainting couches over the liberal bias in the media and blabbity-flibberty-floo.
Well, take a gander at who the other contributor will be to "balance" things out:
New York--Karl Rove, the former White House deputy chief of staff, will become a Newsweek contributor, offering occasional opinion pieces to the pages of the magazine and to Newsweek.com.Newsweek sure did figure out a way to bring in subscriptions. Too bad no one really needs to read either contributor's pieces to know what they would contain.
"Newsweek has a long tradition of asking practitioners and opinion-makers to offer our readers the benefits of their experience in occasional opinion essays," said Newsweek Editor Jon Meacham. "Whether one agrees or disagrees with Karl, there is no arguing that he has been a critical player in the political world with insights and experiences that we think will give our readers something unique. A great recent example is George Stephanopoulos, who did terrific work for us after he left the Clinton White House in the second term."
It's My Cake! I'm Having It! I'm Eating It, Too! The Cake is Mine! The Having and the Eating—Also Mine!
On the Writers' Strike and Unbelievable Greed
A full transcript is below.
Jason Ross: Hello and welcome to what is obviously not The Daily Show. I'm obviously not Jon Stewart. I'm Jason Ross, one of the show's fourteen writers.
Our top story—really, our only story—is the ongoing writers' strike, which began last Monday after talks broke down between writers, seen here working slavishly for your entertainment, and media company CEOs, captured here in their natural habitat.
It's about whether writers should get paid when media companies make money using their work online. Writers think they should get paid. Corporations think the writers should go BLEEP! until their BLEEP! herpes in their nasal passages.
Uh, and I gotta say they have a point. I mean, this is the internet. It's not about money. Online, ya know, intrinsic worth is measured in things like number of tears shed over Britney Spears by a heartbreakingly gay teenager.
Chris Crocker: LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!
Ross: And while we're sad over this state of affairs, we're clearly not that sad.
Besides, media conglomerates say it's too soon to put a dollar value on internet content. They say it's a—what's that? Viacom is suing YouTube for a billion dollars for using its content online? A billion?! That can't be right. In fact, I, I, I can't even believe it! Unless there's some sort of Daily Show-style montage…?
[Bunch of people posing as various cable news talking heads confirming it's, yes, a billion dollars.]
Ross:You can't put our stuff out there for free. That's, uh, that's a catchy phrase. You mind if we use that? And don't pay you?
But is there anyone much older and more personally identified with Viacom who could help us make our case?
Sumner Redstone: Say hypothetically someone files such a lawsuit, would they expect money? They would expect the protection of their rights for the future, and they might expect a deal that reflected the value of their content.
Ross: Ha ha ha! It may seem Redstone's YouTube stance contradicts his stance with the writers, but it's really quite simple: When you're not paying him, you owe him a billion dollars. When he's not paying you, he's not paying you.
Besides, it's just so confusing, I mean, the value of internet content…it's really impossible when you think about it, I mean, it's—Oh, come on.
VO: Three months ago, Viacom CEO Philippe Domon (sp) told investors his digital properties, like TheDailyShow.com, are worth half a billion a year in ad and download sales.
Ross: Half a billion dollars?! Pfft! Come on! To a pessimist, that's like half not a billion dollars, right?
…Rob Koetner wrote that joke.
Anyway, we've taken a page from Viacom's book and sold some ads right here. Huh? They're paying us a hundred bucks. And, just to be fair, we're going to send Viacom two dollars and fifty cents. After all, we are using their idea.
In other news, Pakistani President Pervez Musharref—
John Oliver: 'ELLO! I'm the president of Viacom! My name is John J. Viacom Jr. the Third. And I've come here to tell you to cease and desist! We own these jokes! And they're worth A BILLION DOLLARS!
Ross: Is that right?
Oliver: Indubitably!
Ross: Then can we have just a small percentage of that?
Oliver: No!
Ross: Why not?
Oliver: Because they're worthless!
Ross: Well, which is it? Are they worth a billion dollars, or worth nothing?
Oliver: Gah! [knocks over table; runs away]
Redstone: Getting paid is the name of the game.
Assvertising
Death is no excuse for not having great tits, ladies:
Transcript: None. Just funeral music. The coffin-busting breasts created by the Wonderbra speak for themselves.
What I find most interesting about this advert is how it's shot. The camera slowly pans up the length of the (dead) body from foot to head, the same format as the classic "sexy chick" reveal in countless films, videos, and adverts, which starts on the five-inch stilettos, crawls up the bare legs, past the hips, and over the torso, to settle on a shot composed of great tits and a smoldering gaze—which, as it turns out, appears to be incidental. Dead or alive, we get assessed by the same long look. Doesn't matter if we're looking back.
Via Erica.
[Part Sixteen in an ongoing series. Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen.]
Saudi Arabia to Punish Survivor of Gang Rape with 200 Lashes and Prison Term
Yes, you read that right. A woman who was raped by six armed men is being punished by our BFF Wahhabists in Saudi Arabia. Huzzah for our awesome ally!
The 19-year-old Shiite woman was originally sentenced to receive 90 lashes for "being in the car of an unrelated male at the time of the rape," but after the woman had the unmitigated temerity of not unquestioningly submitting to being tortured as punishment for "getting herself raped," judges on Saudi Arabia's Higher Judicial Council more than doubled her punishment for "her attempt to aggravate and influence the judiciary through the media."
Her lawyer, human rights activist Abdul Rahman al-Lahem, has been banned by the court from further working on her case, had his law license revoked, and been "summoned by the ministry of justice to appear before a disciplinary committee in December" after he appealed the original verdict—not only because his client was sentenced to receive lashes, but because her Sunni rapists were sentenced to shockingly paltry sentences of one to five years.
On appeal, the court increased their sentences to two to nine years. And they gave the women they raped 110 more lashes and a prison term.
This case is so horrendous, it makes any commentary about victim-blaming superfluous. If you don't get why it's heinous, I don't think anything I could say will convince you.
I will, however, note this: That's terrorism, plain and simple. When women are tortured in this way, it a threat to other women that they, too, will be tortured if they get the idea in their pretty little heads to vigorously pursue justice after being raped. They are being terrified so they will keep silent.
This is being done by one of our "allies."
But don't expect President George "W stands for Women" Bush to give a flying shit about this brand of terrorism in Saudi Arabia when he doesn't even care about misogynist terrorism in America.
[UPDATE: Ginmar's got another incident of domestic terrorism against women, in which the only battered womens' shelter on a South Dakota reservation was burgled, vandalized, and burned. They're now having to raise funds for a new building.]
Fore!
Representative Don Young (R-Alaska) is the latest elected official from the Last Frontier to get caught up in corruption. From CREW:
The latest revelation is that a Veco Corp. Executive is providing evidence about Rep. Don Young who has spent almost $500,000 from campaign funds on legal fees this year. The focus is on a scheme to funnel cash to the Congressman through golf tournaments. Yes, golf tournaments:The tip-off was all those guys in pink polo shirts and madras pants lined up outside Young's office.The contractor, Rick Smith, told investigators that Young personally received cash at the events. Once an important ally who helped raise tens of thousands of dollars for Young's election committee, Smith has become a key government informant.
The Gaydar Registers 99.72 gannons
Headline c/o Blogenfreude, who passed on this video currently making its way around teh Internetz of Iowa Federation of College Republicans chairman Benjamin Johnson talking about the aw3s0meness!!!11!!! of Bush's war on terra and how conservatism totally rulezzz and shit.
Mike Rogers says: "I have no scientific proof it works, but on a scale of 1 to 10, my gaydar tripped a 15!"
It's good to post this now, so when, after a meteoric rise in national politics as a GOP prodigy, Senator Benjamin Johnson is discovered blowing Senator George P. Bush in the Senate toilets while wearing a wetsuit with a condom-covered dildo up his ass, we can say we knew him when.
It's like a stroll up memory lane.
More Proof the War on Christmas Isn't Being Waged by Teh Heathenz
I mean, even if I wanted to wage a war on Christmas, what could I possibly do that the Jesus Tree Topper sold by the Christian Dollar Store hasn't already done?
Top your Christmas tree with this Jesus tree topper, and remember the real meaning of Christmas. If I be lifted up I will draw all men unto Me. It is truely beautiful. Top quality, real silk gown, made of resin, nail prints in hands, and 12" tall. Lights up when plugged in. King of Glory. Hollow in center. Not sold anywhere else, our own patented design. Can be used all year round, even Easter.Says Petulant, to whom goes the tip of my hat, "What says the holidays like a HOLLOW Jesus with nail prints and dressed in silk robes. He lights up too! Not to mention he is a year round Jesus for when I am feeling really heathen."
Spectacular!
While perusing my new favorite online store, I came across another product that I love almost as much as the Jesus Tree Topper, mostly for its service as a perfect example of why punctuation matters.
The "Smile, Jesus Loves You" Sucker, because Smile Jesus loves you, sucker.
Pass the Hat
Don't cry for me, oh Amer'ca,
The truth is I never left you.
Now after my wild lies,
My truth resistance,
I need mad dollahz—
Don't keep your distance!
Supporters of former attorney general Alberto R. Gonzales have created a trust fund to help pay for his legal expenses, which are mounting in the face of an ongoing Justice Department investigation into whether Gonzales committed perjury or improperly tampered with a congressional witness.Because he was just a poor civil servant, making a six-figure salary.
…"In the hyper-politicized atmosphere that has descended on Washington, an innocent man cannot simply trust that the truth will out," [David G. Leitch, a Gonzales friend and general counsel at the Ford Motor Co., wrote in an e-mail solicitation to potential contributors last month]. "He must engage highly competent legal counsel to represent him. That costs money, money that Al Gonzales doesn't have."
Please, won't somebody call the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaambulance for poor, broke, little Gonzo?
Hastert to Resign
Rep. Dennis Hastert to announce resignation Thursday: "Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert is expected to announce Thursday on the House floor that he is retiring from Congress, a senior aide to the congressman told CNN Wednesday."
Okay, for real this time?
Question of the Day
With regard to the "Progressive. And Proud Of It." campaign about which I posted earlier (and with an inspirational nod to Kenneth Quinnell's "Why I'm a Liberal" series), tonight's question is: Why are you proud to be a progressive?
(And if you're not a progressive, I kindly request you refrain from using this thread to shit all over progressives and/or progressivism. I really don't want this thread to turn into a hostile debate, and I hope that request, which I rarely make, will be respected.)
Mr. Shakes: The Rogue with The Brogue
Earlier this year, I was in a serious crisis. See, I like reading sci-fi/fantasy books so much that if I encounter a lunch or plane trip without a book at the ready, I get the willies. I was just about done with the series I was reading at the time when I asked Melissa if she knew where I should head next. She referred the question to Mr. Shakes, who told me to delve into the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett and not look back.
And I haven't. In fact, I got so hooked on this series that I keep buying the next three so there's never a gap in the reading (currently in the Death arc, which I consider my favorite at the moment). I'll probably need to start or join a support group when I'm actually done.
At some point along the way, I recognized that it was Mr. Shakes' job to lead me, not just to the dark side but all the counties therein.
After Mr. Shakes let me chew on Pratchett for a little while, he pulled out the next gem from his bag of tricks: MMORPGs.
First, Mr. Shakes recommended the newly released Lord of the Rings Online, which he was trying out and which I immediately purchased, because I couldn't say no. I mean, the dark side is so damn great. Problem is, LOTRO wasn't. It definitely had its moments as I tried playing a couple of different characters: a champion (cool psycho fighter guy) and a lore master (mystical spell casting dude). I was initially excited about all of the cool possibilities for the lore master, but that fizzled within a few weeks when I just wasn't feeling the LOTRO love anymore. Mr. Shakes sensed this, Jedi-like, and just told me to forget that crap and follow him immediately to the Bronzebeard server, back in the universe of his first MMORPG love, World of Warcraft. And so I did. A level-70 Rogue can command that kind of respect you know.
(Liss is, you may not know, a WoW widow. On certain days, the feeling could be shared by Mrs. Cowboy, though I'm more of a console gamer freak as opposed to PC.)
Anyway, OK. So I signed up for the 10-day trial and downloaded the game. I created a druid (awesome), warlock (nasty) and a hunter (sassy) in the much richer and compelling WoW world. I'm totally digging my warlock who can summon a demon, my hunter that's got a bitchin' shotgun (pet to follow), and my druid who's on his way to shapeshifting school (he's also got the coolest forward flip jump). But over the last few days I had been getting a little frustrated at not being able to complete quests with my druid because of his ass getting handed to him. Last night, Mr. Shakes offered to assist.
I was standing calmly in a field near the quest that needed to be completed. Out of nowhere, I see this huge red-faced rogue with bitchin' armor riding a huge tiger galloping towards me with the awesome majesty and power of god himself. The cavalry had arrived! And the tiger-mounted rogue gave me a jaunty wave to signal his arrival. "Och aye there, druid!" (he seemed to say). Such an entrance I can't even deal with. But wait, it gets better.
I follow him towards the cave entrance, where there are plenty of evil dudes that need-a-slayin'. Initially, Mr. Shakes goes for the 1-2 slash, as in 1) You're fucked and 2) You're dead. That's right. Two slashes, and dead. As opposed to my version of combat which usually means a nonillion number of strikes with my crappy level 7 wooden staff that ends in 1) I'm fucked and 2) I'm dead. So, we're running through this cave and I'm watching him get into a rhythm where he gets even more efficient and uses (his words) "an epic level 70 Night Blade" that basically obliterates any foe on contact. Imagine my hysterical laughter as I watch him run through our opponents without stopping - not something you get to see every day.
After the annihilation and subsequent gratitude, I thought I'd call it a night. Well, far be it for a level 70 Rogue to exit without flare. Mr. Shakes summons back his tiger mount, gets on, and proceeds to roar like a beast before he gallops off into the Azeroth sunset.
Now that is style.
It's All They've Got
If you can't come up with any new ideas, if your party's current leader is the most unpopular president in a generation, if you've backed a lost cause like a war in Iraq, and you've got sex and bribery scandals popping up like toadstools on the lawn, what else are you going to do?They mock her proposals, utter her name with a sneer and win standing ovations by ridiculing her ideas as un-American, even socialistic. She has become the one thing the Republican candidates for president can agree on.
Which is a polite way of saying that the Republicans are up Shit Creek, they know it, and so all they can do is distract attention away from their innumerable flaws and find someone else to blame and be afraid of.
Hillary Clinton.
[...]
Earlier this year, the senator from New York was the subject of an occasional laugh line from former New York mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani. Now, the trickle has become a torrent as the leading GOP candidates seek to one-up one another in a Clinton-bashing contest aimed at energizing their party faithful.
"The competition inside the GOP for who's the most anti-Hillary is going to pay dividends," said Greg Strimple, a GOP pollster and consultant who is not working with any presidential campaign. "Looking for that piece of anti-Hillary energy is what you're seeing right now."
[...]
But Strimple said Republicans should worry that the increasing focus on Clinton is simply an attempt to distract attention from their own flaws.
"The use of Hillary Clinton allows every candidate to overcome the imperfections in their own candidacies," Strimple said.
I used to think it was a bad idea for Hillary Clinton to run for just this reason; all we'd get would be years of this kind of crap. But watching the Republicans make complete fools of themselves, to see them outdo themselves with hypocrisy and lies -- an amazing feat in itself -- and to see the unfettered desperation wash over these stiffs is hilarious. I used to worry that it wouldn't be good; all it would do is focus the campaign on the trivial and none of the important issues like health care, education, and the economy would be brushed aside. But what the Republicans are showing with great aptitude and ability is that they have nothing to offer other than the same old fear and demagoguery, and in this kind of campaign, we see their true selves.
Cross-posted from Bark Bark Woof Woof.
WTP?
Shaker TS passed along this article with the note that it's a good example of how the US is losing the "war on terror" domestically as well as abroad, because of criminal incompetence.
And so not just a Bush II administration failure here. This one goes back all the way to Bush I through Clinton. Plenty of blame to go around for the former employee of the FBI and CIA who has now "pleaded guilty to charges of fraudulently obtaining U.S. citizenship and accessing a U.S. government computer system to unlawfully find information about her relatives and the Islamic organization Hizballah."
"This case highlights the importance of conducting stringent and thorough background investigations," said U.S. Attorney Stephen J. Murphy of the Eastern District of Michigan in a statement. "It's hard to imagine a greater threat than the situation where a foreign national uses fraud to attain citizenship and then, based on that fraud, insinuates herself into a sensitive position in the U.S. government."Ya think?
