I'm not a huge fan of Snow White, but I am a huge fan of Rachel Weisz—and I don't think I've ever seen her look more exquisite than in this Annie Liebovitz photo commissioned by Disney.
The woman is so ridiculously gorgeous that, despite some Photoshopping for stylistic purposes, she looks just as beautiful in the
candid shots.
Here's the whole photo, via Just Jared, which is trés stunning.
[Click to embiggen.]
How much I love Rachel Weisz, and her wonderfully mad partner, Darren Aronofsky, is that I paid money to see The Fountain, and I still love them anyway.
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One day, I'm going to write up my policy on the feebleness of allowing ourselves to held hostage by the dead legacy of any single word - the kind of haplessness that makes for vacuous non-stories just like this.
In the meantime, here's a tip: when someone calls you a nigger, the absolute, hands-down, best response is to laugh (or sneer, your choice) and say "So's your mother."
(Cross-posted.)
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President Whiny McPoopypants can blame the Congress all he wants for not "keeping America's promise" to the troops in harm's way, and he can pout through a nonillion pressers about how it would "be irresponsible to not give our troops the resources they need to get their job done because Congress was unable to get its job done," and all the rest of his belligerent bullshittery, but it doesn't change the fact that one of the most pressing issues facing the Army under Bitchy Moany Commander-in-Chiefy is a result of—what else?—corruption and incompetence.
The Army, stung by a contracting fraud scandal that has generated more than 80 criminal investigations, needs 1,400 more personnel to deal with the demands of supplying troops in combat, said U.S. officials familiar with a report by federal procurement experts.
…Collectively, higher numbers, better quality and more clout within the Army's contracting ranks are expected to reduce opportunities for fraud, waste and abuse as tens of billions of dollars continue to be spent on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, U.S. officials told The Associated Press.
…Since 2001, provisional offices have spring up in Iraq, Afghanistan, Kuwait and Qatar and other locations to buy items such as bottled water, laundry services, barracks, food, transportation, and warehouse services. But in certain places, such as Camp Arifjan in Kuwait, there were too few qualified people, too little oversight, high staff turnover, and poor record-keeping. In the midst of those shortcomings came a huge flow of dollars for the war, creating an environment ripe for misconduct and inefficiency.
A separate Army task force was assigned to examine a random sampling of the 6,000 contracts worth nearly $2.8 billion issued since 2003 by the Kuwait office in a search for rigged awards and sloppy work. That review is to be completed by the end of the year.
The Army Criminal Investigation Command already has 83 ongoing criminal investigations related to contract fraud in Iraq, Kuwait and Afghanistan. Nearly two dozen military and civilian Army personnel have been charged or indicted and more than $15 million in confirmed bribes has changed hands, according to the command.
Naturally, this is also a problem of the Bush administration's fervent belief in privatizing war as much as possible. It's not people to deliver basic supplies to the troops that we need, you see; it's people to oversee the people who we've contracted to deliver basic supplies to the troops that we need. Because, you know, private business does everything better than government, of course.
The report, "Urgent Reform Required: Army Expeditionary Contracting," proposes adding 400 military and 1,000 civilian personnel with contract-signing authority to an Army contracting work force that now has just over 10,000 people.
I'm no military expert or anything, but that sounds like it would have a job description of something like:
Job Level: Middle Management
Primary Responsibility: Oversee thieving incompetents to ensure delivery of necessary items to troops in the middle of a war zone
Notes: Urgent task with high expectations and almost zero chance of success
Yeah, good luck filling 1,400 open positions for what's pretty much got to be the shittiest job in the fucking world.
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Meanwhile, in other PseudoCelebrity Douchebag Why-the-Fuck-Do-I-Know-Who-You-Are News, 51-year-old Vincent Margera aka Don Vito, the uncle of Jackasser Bam Margera on whose show Viva La Bam Don Vito became "famous," has been found guilty of two counts of sexual assault on a child for groping the breasts of two girls, ages 12 and 14, during a promotional appearance at a mall.
When two female police officers arrived to arrest him after parents complained, Margera thought he was being "punked" and called the police officers "psycho lesbian bitches." And he pretty much never found the plot again after that, requiring two trips to the emergency room while in custody for a phantom broken arm and a phantom heart attack, breaking the conditions of his bond (for which he now faces 12 separate charges), and finally having a total breakdown when the guilty verdict was read in court. He collapsed to the floor in a sobbing, swearing heap as the first verdict was read, taking his defense attorney Pamela Mackey down with him and screaming: "Jesus! I can't spend the rest of my fucking life in jail! Just fucking kill me now!" When four deputies rushed to him "as he writhed on the floor," he began to wail: "I can't stand up! My legs! My legs! I can't move!"
The second verdict "triggered another episode of wailing with Margera still on the floor," and he began to shout once again: "I didn't fucking do nothing! You can rot in fucking hell!" and "I can't move! I can't move! I can't get up! My legs are broke! Help me! Help me!"
Eventually, four deputies dragged the sobbing Margera out of the courtroom in handcuffs.
Once he was gone, the only evidence of the pandemonium was a miniature Hershey's candy bar on the floor where Margera landed.
Oh dear.
Only the mini remained.
Incredibly, Don Vito's defense attorney "contended that her client may have been obnoxious and vulgar, but he was acting according to the character that his fans loved and expected to see." Really? I fucking doubt it. Even as cynical as I am about the appallingly generous margins of acceptable sexual aggression in our society, I don't remotely believe that the general audience of Viva La Bam loves Don Vito because he's a grody old boob-grabbing pedo and wants to see him fondling young girls at a skatepark.
Don Vito faces between two and six years for the two incidents, although "that sentence could be extended for up to life, if Margera fails to participate in sex offender programs while behind bars."
Have fun in the clink, creep.
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Okay, it was bad enough when, via some tragic misfire of cultural osmosis, I became vaguely cognizant of the existence of this skeevy mess, but now Duane "Dog the Bounty Hunter" Chapman—a subject deserving of my long-abandoned (and soon-to-be-resurrected) "I'm Mad at You Just Because I Know Who You Are" Series, if ever there was one—has wormed his way into the front of my consciousness, by, surprise!, behaving in a manner as loathsome as his noxious pelt.
First, the National Enquirer reported that it had "obtained tapes of two revolting phone conversations in which Duane 'Dog' Chapman unleashes a filthy bigoted attack, littered with the N-word and other disgusting racial insults. The star of the A&E reality show Dog, The Bounty Hunter directed his racist hatred at his son Tucker's girlfriend Monique Shinnery, who is black."
They also posted audio of the call (to which you can listen here), which, hilariously, is about Dog's concern that he'd be ruined if "America" found out he uses the N-word. D'oh!
A&E immediately suspended production on his series, "pending an investigation," and now "Dog" has apologized. Get your Celebrity Apology Bingo cards ready, Shakers!
In a statement, the 54-year-old Chapman said he has "utmost respect and aloha for black people who have suffered so much due to racial discrimination and acts of hatred."
"I did not mean to add yet another slap in the face to an entire race of people who have brought so many gifts to this world," he said. "I am ashamed of myself and I pledge to do whatever I can to repair this damage I have caused."
Chapman said, "My sincerest, heartfelt apologies go out to every person I have offended for my regrettable use of very inappropriate language. I am deeply disappointed in myself for speaking out of anger to my son and using such a hateful term in a private phone conversation."
Chapman said the clip was completely taken out of context.
"I was disappointed in his choice of a friend, not due to her race, but her character," he said. "However, I should have never used that term."
Chapman said he is meeting with his spiritual adviser, Rev. Tim Storey, who is black, and hope to meet with other black leaders, "so they can see who I really am and teach me the right thing to do to make things right, again."
"I know that all of my fans are deeply disappointed in me, as well, as I have tried to be a model for doing the right thing," he said. "I did not do the right thing this time, and hope you will forgive me."
Let's see—he's not really a racist but was just speaking in anger, the phone conversation was private and taken out of context, he's turning to Jesus, and he wants black people to help set him straight. Shit! If only he'd blamed booze or drugs, I woulda had Bingo!
No word yet from A&E whether this heartfelt apology, for doing something he identified even as he did it as so totally unacceptable that it would ruin his career, will keep the star of their #1 show on the air.
Anyone want to make a wager…?
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Okay, it's the obvious question: What was your favorite ever Halloween costume that you wore?
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Fred Phelps and his banshees lose in court.
A grieving father won a nearly $11 million verdict Wednesday against a fundamentalist Kansas church that pickets military funerals in the belief that the war in Iraq is a punishment for the nation's tolerance of homosexuality.
A member of Westboro Baptist Church protests outside a veteran's hospital in Maywood, Illinois, in April 2006.
Albert Snyder of York, Pennsylvania., sued the Westboro Baptist Church for unspecified damages after members demonstrated at the March 2006 funeral of his son, Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder, who was killed in Iraq.
The jury first awarded $2.9 million in compensatory damages. It returned later in the afternoon with its decision to award $6 million in punitive damages for invasion of privacy and $2 million for causing emotional distress.
It'll probably be knocked down on appeal, but it's good that someone stood up and fought back.
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by Blogenfreude
It's the last day of Cocktober and, well, it's raining men:
~ Conservative lawmaker who had sex with guy says "I have not had sex with a guy."
~ Sex sting nabs 20 (including a Catholic priest) at highway rest area.
~ Wonkette has a Larry Craig sex encounter exclusive.
and finally:
~ Is Larry Flynt about to amuse us with another Republican sex scandal?
Wow - what do you suppose Blowvember will bring?
UPDATE: Curtis resigned. What kind of Republican is he? He should have stayed, like Larry Craig and Bob Allen!
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It's Hallowe'en, so it's time to pull out the costumes and dress up, right? The South Florida Sun-Sentinel gets in the mood by presenting their list of great celebrity drag roles.
We’ve been told that drag is out this Halloween season. Bo-ring. If Halloween is the one night that women feel comfortable flaunting their slutty side, why shouldn’t men be able to flirt with their female side? It’s just dress-up!
To help inspire those daring guys who might enjoy putting on a bra just once in their life, or girls who want to experiment with machismo, we’ve put together a list of famous performances from Hollywood actors in drag. Some of these costumes could be re-created easily; others would take a team of five makeup artists a minimum of four hours to pull off.
But if Cate Blanchett and John Travolta can do it, why can’t you?
What a great idea! And just to show that the GOP is in a partying mood, State Representative Richard Curtis of Washington is already
joining in the fun.
Even without the make-up, he does bear a startling resemblance to Mrs. Doubtfire, don't you think? But wait... it gets better. A search warrant unsealed Tuesday morning disclosed that State Representative Richard Curtis (R - La Center) had sex in his room at the Davenport Tower with a man identified as Cody Castagna, 26, of Medical Lake, who he met at the Hollywood Erotic Boutique on October 26th.
Curtis, according to a search warrant unsealed Tuesday, went to the Hollywood Erotic Boutique on East Sprague on October 26th at approximately 12:45 a.m. The store clerk, who had talked with Curtis, referred to him as "The Cross-Dresser" and said that during their conversations he confirmed he was gay and was married with children at home.
During his visit to the video store Curtis was observed wearing women's lingerie while receiving oral sex from an unidentified man in one of the movie viewing booths inside the store.
True to Republican form, Mr. Curtis explains that he's "not gay" and that he was only giving Mr. Castagna money for gas, not to buy his silence. Oh, come on! What's Hallowe'en without a little trick or treat... emphasis on the "trick" part?
Update: As blogenfreude noted above, Mr. Curtis has resigned, presumably to spend more time with his family. Or his couturier.
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Remember that judge who filed (and lost) a law suit against a dry cleaning business for $54 million over a pair of pants? Well, guess who's not going to be a judge anymore:
Roy L. Pearson Jr., the administrative law judge who lost his $54 million lawsuit against a Northeast Washington dry cleaner, lost his job yesterday and was ordered to vacate his office, sources said.
Pearson, 57, who had served as a judge for two years, was up for a 10-year term at the Office of Administrative Hearings, but a judicial committee last week voted against reappointing him.
Payback's a bitch, Roy.
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The government has announced an 11th hour recall of $2 Chinese-made "ugly teeth" after a chemistry professor at Ohio's Ashland University tipped off CBS News to the exorbitant lead levels. CBS broadcast the story Monday; the Consumer Product Safety Commission, which knew about the danger last week, announced the recall this morning.
[The commission's acting head Nancy Nord] said the possible danger was not brought to the agency's attention until late last week. She said the commission then worked quickly to assess the problem and issue an announcement.
…Amscan Inc. of Elmsford, N.Y., imported the fake teeth.
…Millions of Chinese-made toys have been recalled in recent months. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., this week urged the commission's head, Nancy Nord, to resign. Pelosi said Nord has failed to see the gravity of the situation and continues to oppose legislation that would double her agency's dollars and give it more authority.
Nord said Wednesday she has no intention of resigning.
Fucking honestly! Typical Bush administration bullshit.
Grumble grumble.In any case, make sure your kids aren't sucking on those fake choppers, Shakers.
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Tim Russert suxxx.
And as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow morning, and set tomorrow night, Timmeh will still be sucking.
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In what was the complete opposite of the story from August in which neighbors ignored a rape occurring in their apartment hallway, five good Samaritans intervened in an alleged rape, the victim of which was a 22-year-old woman on crutches from a leg injury. The five—three men and two woman, all about 20 years old—tackled the alleged rapist, called 911, and detained him until police arrived on the scene to arrest him.
Katie Porter, 20, was among the five young adults traveling in a car that passed the crime scene outside an apartment complex. Both [37-year-old Paul Landingham]'s and the woman's pants were pulled down, Porter said. While she initially thought the two might just be "drunk lovers," the group became suspicious and collectively decided to turn around for a closer look.
As they approached the apartment complex for a second time, Porter said, Landingham began to get up and the woman screamed for help. At this point, Porter said, all five passengers knew something was wrong.
"He got off the girl and started running," Porter said. "The three guys ran out and went over and tackled him."
Landingham faces charges of first-degree rape charge, assault, and strangulation—which suggests the group of five may have saved a life because they were willing to get involved. Said Katie Porter: "I'm really glad that we went back." I can't even imagine how glad the woman they saved is.
This reminds me of
the story of the bartender and waitress—two women in their 20s—who saved a female patron of the bar in which they worked from her date, who made repeated attempts to drug her drink, as well as
the story of the three young college women who rescued an unconscious 17-year-old girl from a gang-rape at a party. I find it more encouraging than I can possibly convey when young people, especially young women, so fiercely and bravely intervene in these situations, simply refusing to abide this shit.
[Thanks to Shaker Christine for passing that along.]
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A: No.
The former girlfriend of television pundit Bill Maher spits fire at her ex in next month's Vibe. [Karrine Steffans] says, "Bill wants someone he can put down in an argument, tell you how ghetto you are, how big your butt is, and that you're an idiot."
Yeah. His issues are so obvious I can't believe anyone dates him. It's the dating equivalent of accepting a ride from a guy covered in blood who asks if you'll sit in the back seat because he likes his chainsaw to ride shotgun.
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Kucinich got off a good line in last night's debate, when Tim Russert asked him about having seen a UFO: "It was an unidentified flying object, OK? It's, like, it's unidentified. I saw something."
He then noted he would be moving his campaign office to Roswell, and asserted that more Americans have probably seen UFOs than approve of Bush's presidency. Ha.
Personally, I've never seen a UFO, although one of my aunts (whom I've mentioned before) had, in addition to being haunted by her dead husband's ghost, experienced a slew of other bizarre and/or supernatural events, including a near-death experience ("I was floatin' on a little white cloud!") and having seen what she swore was an alien spacecraft while milking the cows—"And them cows didn't even bat an eye!"
She was absolutely mad; naturally, I adored her and would beg to hear these stories repeatedly.
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