So there's this guy, and he killed his girlfriend—whose dismembered body parts were found scattered throughout his apartment—and he confessed to having boiled some of her flesh. And he is also now being investigated "in the mutilation killings of an unidentified prostitute in April and an ex-girlfriend whose body was found in 2004."
How would you describe him in a news story you were writing? "Confessed murderer Jose Luis Calva," maybe? "Possible serial killer Jose Luis Calva," perhaps? If you were feeling a little sensationalistic, writing for the Daily Mail or the NY Post, say, possibly you'd go with something like "Remorseless ripper Jose Luis Calva." All of those would be appropriate.
The AP, however, because the draft of a novel titled Cannibalistic Instincts was found in his apartment, leads with: "An aspiring horror novelist was arrested after police discovered his girlfriend's torso in his closet, a leg in the refrigerator and bones in a cereal box, the city prosecutor's spokesman said Thursday."
Aspiring horror novelist Jose Luis Calva.
Worse yet, by the time CNN sticks its headline on, he's a writer, full-stop. "Writer suspect in dismembering girlfriend." Because this fiend spent his downtime between butchering women feverishly recording for posterity his grotesque wank fantasies (which Judith Regan is probably trying to commission as we speak), we're going to turn him into a fucking artiste and shit.
Which, admittedly, is still an improvement on Yahoo's headline: "Mexican arrested in dismemberment case."
Yeesh.
Dear AP: WTF? Love, Liss
Watch It and Weep
Gore should have punched that smarmy little prick right in his smirking mug while he had the chance. "The difference is I can get it done." POW!
Of course things turned out exactly as The Goracle predicted. "If you want someone who will spin a lot of words describing a whole convoluted process and then end up supporting legislation that is supported by the big drug companies, this is your man." And so he was.
Just wait 'til I get my hands on Medicare.
The President In Miami
President Bush is speaking across the street from my office this afternoon, which explains why the traffic was clusterfucked when I walked down to the roach coach for lunch.
I found about his appearance via a conversation in the office:
Secretary: The president is speaking at the Radisson.Yeah, I'm the Jon Stewart of my office.
Me: The president of what?
Secretary: Of the United States.
Me: Al Gore is in town? Cool! Maybe I'll go congratulate him on his Nobel Prize.
Cross-posted from Bark Bark Woof Woof.
80s Robotz ROOL
While watching a recent Family Guy episode, I was stunned into a stupor of hilarity at a slice of 80's brilliance (of which the show has many). Stewie tries to cheer Brian up by presenting him the robot from Rocky IV. One can debate the film's cultural significance, or lack thereof (what child of the 80's doesn't remember the iconic line "I must break you"? - I still threaten my friends and family with that gem all the time!), but this pure camp moment was a stroke of genius as far as I'm concerned.
Family Guy version:
Rocky IV original:
Ya see, Paulie is just a regular Joe. He's not into all these new-fangled robots. But Rocky is trying to bring him into the futuristic 80s where robots rule. It will be an up-hill battle at best!
The robot's voice actually reminds me of the way Melissa and I greet each other over the phone - in traditional Robot-speak. I have no idea why. Perhaps all the kickass robots of the 80s programmed us into becoming robots ourselves!
The Dangerous Plans of John Edwards
Bill O'Reilly (via Glenn Greenwald) warns us of what our future holds if John Edwards becomes president:
Remember, no coerced interrogation, civilian lawyers in courts for captured overseas terrorists, no branding the Iranian guards terrorists, and no phone surveillance without a specific warrant.In other words, we run the terrible risk of becoming a constitutional
Wow; can't have that, now can we?
Cross-posted from Bark Bark Woof Woof.
Duh of the Day: Criminalizing Abortion Makes No Difference
Except, of course, to make the same number of abortions less safe for the women who get them.
After eight years of research tracing abortion trends, a Guttmacher Institute and World Health Organization study has found that "women are just as likely to get an abortion in countries where it is outlawed as they are in countries where it is legal."
In a study examining abortion trends from 1995 to 2003, experts also found that abortion rates are virtually equal in rich and poor countries, and that half of all abortions worldwide are unsafe.Given that the findings also include that the vast majority of abortions take place in the developing world and that almost 97 percent of all unsafe abortions take place in poor countries, one might reasonably conclude, as pro-choice advocates (and the Guttmacher Institute and the World Health Organization and the International Women's Health Coaltion et al) have been saying for years, that poverty and lack of access to proper healthcare are the most frequently responsible factors underlying the decision to seek abortions.
…"The legal status of abortion has never dissuaded women and couples, who, for whatever reason, seek to end pregnancy," Beth Fredrick of the International Women's Health Coalition in the U.S. said in an accompanying commentary.
As I've mentioned before, "Can't afford a baby now" is cited by 73% of women in the US as their reason for seeking an abortion.
In the qualitative sample, of women who stated that they could not afford to have a child now, the majority had children already. Financial difficulties included the absence of support from the father of either the current pregnancy or the woman’s other children, anticipating not being able to continue working or to find work while pregnant or caring for a newborn, not having the resources to support a child whose conception was not planned and lacking health insurance.Additionally, about one-fourth of participants in the qualitative sample cited her own health or possible health problems with the fetus as reasons for the abortion, citing concerns including "a lack of prenatal care."
Anti-choicers can continue barking their "perfect world" bullshit sanctimony about how no woman who can't have a baby should ever get pregnant, but that just isn't going to happen—and even if it did, it still wouldn't stop circumstances from changing; anti-choicers may have noticed their god likes to play a little trick sometimes in which he snatches Daddy to heaven before Baby's even born, for example.
This new study concludes that one in five pregnancies ends in abortion worldwide, and that every year around 70,000 women die and 5 million more are injured, some permanently, from unsafe abortions. We know that access to birth control, access to proper healthcare, access to proper nutrition, and reduced poverty are the best methods for reducing abortion. Anyone who looks at those numbers—one in five, seventy thousand, five million, every year—and still refuses to endorse anything but some abstinence-only, criminalized abortion, get-what-you-deserve bullshit has absolutely no damn business calling him/herself "pro-life." End of story.
Bring Miracle and Her Family Home to the Lower 9th Ward
By Scout Prime
Miracle's lost home on Dauphine in the Holy Cross District of the Ninth Ward)
Hi Shakers. Melissa has generously invited me to write a guest post. You may know me from First-Draft. Though I am not from New Orleans I have been blogging on the post Katrina recovery in that city the past 2 years. I have visited the city four times now and as I am sure you know, though the people of NOLA are working very hard to come back there is much yet to be done. In a city where nearly everyone struggles daily I am here to share the story of one family that has been hit hard...Twice....and to ask for your help.
Two weeks ago, the Joseph family lost their Lower 9th Ward home for the second time. Kellie Joseph and her 6 children lost their home to Katrina. The rebuilding of their home was nearly complete when it was tragically destroyed by a fire after someone abandoned a stolen car in their backyard and lit it aflame to destroy evidence. The flames engulfed the home.
A group of Tulane medical students who heard of this devastating news decided to help the family rebuild again and started a website called Hope in Grace for what is called Project: Bring Miracle. Recently the students contacted me. The online donation effort has reached a standstill after some initial local media attention. It is their hope to reach a wider audience through the Internet.
Here is where we can help. We as individuals and bloggers can not rebuild the great city of New Orleans but perhaps we can help to rebuild the home of one family that has now fallen through the cracks. The family had invested their Road Home grant of $138,000 to rebuild their home. That is now lost. Unfortunately the maximum they can receive from their insurance to rebuild their home a second time is $12,000. At this point, after donations and insurance, $132,000 is needed to rebuild the Joseph's family home. Donations can be made online to a rebuilding fund specifically restricted for use only in reconstruction.
You can go to the website Hope in Grace to read their story, make a donation or leave a message of hope. But here is just part of their story from the website...
Miracle, her mother Kellie, and six brothers and sisters have all called the historic Holy Cross neighborhood in New Orleans home for nearly ten years. Her mother had worked their way out of the St. Bernard Housing Project that the family had moved into following the loss of her husband in a motor cycle accident, to become a homeowner in this neighborhood. Determined to give her children the best possible options, she kept them out of trouble, in school and church-related activities, and close to home. After the storm, her children were having a hard time integrating into their new schools, and Kellie quickly realized the need to return her family to the place that defined their being, to New Orleans. This unsettling tragedy severely jeopardized this noble hope.What the Tulane students are doing is wonderful but they need our help. In a city where so many are struggling there is only so much help and hope to go around. We can help one family rebuild and also send a message to our fellow Americans in New Orleans that they are not forgotten and we care. I hope if you are able to make even a small donation that you will take the time to do so. You can also leave a message of hope for the family which is much needed as I am told Kellie's children have been losing hope that they will ever be able to return home.
All is not lost, however. A concerned group of family, friends, and public officials are determined not to let this family's self-evident courage and determination to return to their home base to be irreparably devastated, and plea for you to help them realize their dream of bringing Miracle home.
Thank you for reading and a big thanks to Melissa for allowing me to share this with you.
TO DONATE to Project: Bring Miracle
To read more about the Joseph family's story
To leave a message of hope
Quote of the Day
"I am deeply honored to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. We face a true planetary emergency. The climate crisis is not a political issue, it is a moral and spiritual challenge to all of humanity."—Al Gore, who also noted he will donate his portion of the $1.5 million prize to the Alliance for Climate Protection, a "bipartisan nonprofit organization devoted to conveying the urgency of solving the climate crisis."
GORE WINS!!!
In case you're keeping score, former Vice President Albert Gore has now: Won the popular vote, written several bestselling books, successfully launched a cable network, starred in the most successful documentary of all time, won two Oscars, won an Emmy, and won the Nobel Peace Prize:
Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore and the U.N.'s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change have won the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize for their work raising awareness about global warming.The official award ceremony will be held on December 10 in Oslo, where Gore and IPCC will each receive a gold medal, a diploma, and a share of $1.5 million.
The Nobel committee cited them "for their efforts to build up and disseminate greater knowledge about man-made climate change, and to lay the foundations for the measures that are needed to counteract such change."
...The Nobel committee praised Gore as being "one of the world's leading environmentalist politicians."
"He is probably the single individual who has done most to create greater worldwide understanding of the measures that need to be adopted," said [Ole Danbolt Mjoes, chairman of the Nobel committee].
As you can imagine, there is some serious blubbing going on over here.
Regular (long-suffering, indulgent) readers of Shakesville are all too familiar with my huge crush on Al Gore. Not the kind of crush that would, say, lead to his impeachment, ahem, should he ever find his way into the Oval Office, but a deep and enduring admiration which has spanned so many years, seen such dizzying thrills and disappointments, that it does, at this point, have the capacity to make me blush and babble endlessly about the object of my political affection, as if it were, indeed, a crush of another sort.
A tale I've told before comes from my 18th year—and my first opportunity to vote in the '92 election. I took the presidential campaign very seriously, convinced as I was that my measured contemplation of the issues would result in my casting not only a wise and discerning vote, but most assuredly the deciding vote that would singly hand the president to my chosen man. (Yes, ever the geek, I was more excited about voting for the first time than I had been about getting my driver's license.) I was discussing the campaign with my dad one day, very early on (maybe even as early as '91), and I said that I liked Al Gore. He looked at me with a knitted brow. "Al Gore?"
"Yes," I enthused. "He's a Senator from Tennessee, and he's very pro-environment and he's well into technology and—"
"Shouldn't you be going on dates or something?" my dad said, approximately.
Dates schmates. I had candidates to pay attention to.
When Clinton chose Gore as his running mate, I was on the moon. You see, I never found Gore to be the stiff, stuffy, robotic doofus that he was supposed to be (according to a lazy and hostile media). Okay, he was a bit shy and awkward, and kind of a nerd, but I never figured Lincoln or FDR to be the first on the dance floor, either. I liked him. I admired him. The entire Clinton presidency was, for me, about one thing—getting Gore into the White House. So you can imagine how I felt in November of 2000. Inconsolable is, perhaps, inadequate.
Nonetheless, I hoped we hadn't seen the last of Al Gore. And so we hadn't.
I would be lying if I said that his awesome emergence as the closest approximation to a real-life planet-saving superhero that we mortal Earthlings are ever going to see makes up for the fact that he was never our president. It doesn't. And there's no small irony in the fact that, thanks to Bush's energy and environmental policies over his two terms, there's even more need for the work Gore is doing and a longer, harder road for the people who are trying to fix this mess we're in.
But, despite all that, I'd also be less than totally forthcoming if I didn't admit that Gore winning the Nobel Prize also feels like a vindication, not just for him, but for me, and scientists and nerds and wonks everywhere, and all of us who have always adored him and mourned the loss of his presidency on behalf of a sleepy nation.
Roll your eyes, conservatives. Tell me it doesn't mean anything; it's just a symbol.
I know. And I don't bloody care.
In the words of the immortal Johnny Cash:
Question of the Day
Kate217 aptly suggested that, given yesterday's QotD about who should never make a movie again, today's should be: Who do you think is highly underrated in the film industry and would like to see more of?
Of actors with name recognition, I'd probably go with Catherine Keener, Illeana Douglas, Don Cheadle, and Liam Neeson—who I'm always surprised just isn't in more stuff. (I'm crazy looking forward to Lincoln, though!) I don't think any of them are underrated, in the sense that they're all considered good actors, but they generally don't get offered big leading roles (with the exception of Neeson).
Of actors with less name recognition (based on the fact that when I mention them in conversation, I usually get a blank look), I'd suggest Sophie Okonedo and Elias Koteas—who is just splendid and really deserves to be a leading man in a big film occasionally.
Winning Bombing Hearts and Minds
A U.S. attack killed 19 insurgents and 15 civilians, including nine children, northwest of the capital Thursday — one of the heaviest civilian death tolls in an American operation in recent months. The military said it was targeting senior leaders of al-Qaida in Iraq.The military has issued a statement, which says that they were "acting on intelligence reports about an al-Qaida meeting" in the region and that their own surveillance had confirmed "activity consistent with the reports and supporting aircraft engaged the time-sensitive target." According to the report, the first air assault killed "four terrorists," and when the subsequent ground assault came under fire, air support was called in, resulting in the injury of "two suspected al-Qaida members, a woman, and three children" and the deaths of "15 terrorists, six women, and nine children."
American forces have applied fierce and determined pressure on militants, especially al-Qaida in Iraq, since the full contingent of additional U.S. troops arrived June 15. But Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki has recently confronted top American commander Gen. David Petraeus about what he sees as overly aggressive U.S. tactics that harm innocent civilians, according to Iraqi officials.
Is it just me, or does it appear that the US military is just counting as "terrorists" or "suspected al-Qaida members" all the men they kill?
The statement also issued regret "that civilians are hurt or killed while Coalition forces search to rid Iraq of terrorism."An apology is always so much more heartfelt when phrased in the passive voice. "I regret that you died" is, like, totally way better than "I'm so sorry I killed you." And best yet is when it's in the passive-aggressive voice: "I regret that you died while I was trying to do something nice for you. Geez."
Dueling Quotes of the Day
"You say you have fallen out of love with politics, and you have every reason to feel that way. But we know you have not fallen out of love with your country. And your country needs you now—as do your party and the planet you are fighting so hard to save."—Draft Gore, in an open letter to Al Gore advert that ran in the New York Times yesterday.
"We truly appreciate all the enthusiasm out there for the former vice president, but he does not have any intention to run for President."—Gore spokeswoman Kalee Kreider.
Second Verse, Same as the First!
Chet's earlier post reminded me of something I wrote (almost three years ago now) during the Social Security reform debacle called Oh, So Now They Like Darwin, cheekily referencing that within the heads of Bush conservatives is generally found a co-existence of a firm aversion to evolution and a rabid support of the concepts underlying social Darwinism, i.e. survival of the fittest. I went back and dug out this post, and it's actually amazing how few tweaks were required to make it applicable to the debate over government-sponsored healthcare:
The Bush administration's primary argument for Social Security reform against SCHIP is an impending fiscal crisis the cost, but behind the (disputed) economic motivation, there lies an ideological impetus that drives the entirety of the president’s grand vision of an "Ownership Society." Stephen Moore, the author of Bullish on Bush: How George W. Bush’s Ownership Society Will Make America Stronger, describes the intent to reform Bush's economic philosophy, evident in such policy proposals as reforming Social Security by privatizing accounts, as a fundamental shift "from an entitlement society to an ownership society." In the Bushies' lexicon, ownership is good, and there's no dirtier word than entitlement.
…If the president has his way, that picture will be of a political landscape marked with the sign: Every man for himself. (Quite a peculiar position for a man whose entire life has been dictated by inherited privilege and family connections, one might dryly note, but that is a discussion for another day.) And it is, to be sure, not an unexplored position by the legions of conservatives advocating the dismantling of Social Security against universal healthcare who came before him. There is a sense among these privileged men that one gets what one deserves in life, and, looking at them, wishing them a fate as ugly as their politics, sometimes one can only hope that they are right—the pricks. But fate, or luck, is a very different thing than hard work, and they're happy to tell you that they believe with a little hard work, anyone can be a productive member of their magnificent Ownership Society.
Now, I don’t want to get into a whole Marxist discussion about the means of production here, but what these insufferable, fatcat, classist wankers seem never to grasp is that if you want to live in a capitalist society that gives you the opportunity to get insanely rich, then we can't all be wealthy. And if you want to be the kind of person who doesn't pump your own gas, or make your own sandwiches, or clean your own house, or manicure your own fingernails, or drain your own dog's anal pouches, then there are going to have to be people who fill all those jobs. Most of them are professional, hard-working people who put in at least 40 hours a week, or more, and even still, many of them won't earn enough money to save as much as they’ll need in their retirement have either employee-subsidized healthcare benefits or access to affordable private health insurance…
People who honorably dedicate their time, energy, and talents to jobs that might not pay well [or offer health insurance] are indeed entitled to something—to not have worked their whole lives only to find themselves poverty-stricken in old age live their whole lives on the edge of a precipice, hoping that nothing goes wrong, nothing happens to them or their kids that could result in a loss of absolutely everything for which they've worked in the blink of an eye, just to pay medical bills. I don't think that's asking for much, in exchange of a lifetime of providing able-bodied service to their chosen vocation.
They're entitled to that much, and I think we are all obligated to provide it. It's called a social conscience, and I know the concept isn't all that popular in the Beltway, but maybe someone could give the Prez a heads-up and see if maybe it doesn't sound to him kind of like the compassion junk his favorite philosopher was always yapping about.
--------------
That was originally published on January 18, 2005—and my feeling that blogging the Bush administration is like one interminable Mad Lib has never been stronger.
Caption This Photo
A Bitch Was on NPR…
Our very own Shark-fu, who of course is the mega-awesome proprietress of Angry Black Bitch, was recently invited to be a guest of Michel Martin to talk about "the B word" and reclamation and empowerment. You can listen to it here, and I have to tell you, you will not be disappointed—because a Bitch seriously rocked it. I can't decide if my favorite bit was her take on Imus or "Selfish isn't a bad thing."
Because we are both huge dorks, when Shark-fu sent me the link earlier, with the usual protestations about hating one's own voice, I was sending her emails about how great she was doing while listening, effectively liveblogging her to her. Even for Shakesville, that's just an insanely enormous amount of blog-related nerditude.
Go listen and cheer.
Random YouTubery: Arguably the Best Video on Teh Internetz
Via Michelle at Best Week Ever, who says: "There are many things that make the following video amazing. For starters, it’s called 'Star Wars Trumpet'—that should be enough right there. But no, it gets better. For the trumpeteer is a girl named Stacey Hedger who comes onto the stage wearing the finest black unitard with silver sparkle-fringed sleeves the 80's had to offer. And just when you think you're about to be blown away by her unbelievable horn skills… she proceeds to pump out the most cacophonous, ear-splitting rendition of the Star Wars theme imaginable. Thankfully, this doesn't stop her from using her trumpet as a deadly blaster! And doing a killer Charlie Chaplin impression!"
Truly, the only thing that could make me love this video more is if it were taken from Mama Shakes' collection of videos from my childhood and that were me on the stage making a complete arse of myself.
(Thanks, Petulant.)
Happy 50th Birthday, Dawn French!
You are hilarious. You are amazing.
You are inspiring. And I adore you.
In honor of Ms. French's birthday: French & Saunders do Lord of the Rings.
