Cutest Shit Evah!



Transcript: Lots of people saying, "Aww, that's so cute!"
and "Look they're holding hands!" over and over.

Via NewMexiKen.

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Let the Rudy Smackdown Begin

Jill's got an excellent post looking at the first visible cracks in the halo bestowed on St. Rudy by a media previously unwilling to question his reputation as "America's Mayor." There's a lot of information there—and none of it's going to bode well for Rudy if it seeps into his "public bio," that ethereal collection of bits and pieces and random factoids that hover around every presidential candidate.

More at MyDD.

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Piss Off, Inhofe


This guy, Inhofe, is really starting to get my (pet) goat. It's one thing if he simply disagrees with the scientific proof that global warming is underway, perhaps thinking that God will just take care of everything. For some reason, this issue, with Al Gore as its champion, has created a mutant bug that has crawled up Inhofe's ass. We got a taste of this when he was taking cheap shots during Gore's testimony, at which Barbara Boxer slammed his whinging ass back down.

In true super-villain fashion, Inhofe waited for the right moment to strike back again at his nemesis for revenge:

Al Gore may have to face another inconvenient truth — his highly touted Live Earth concert is no match for Senate procedural tactics.

On Wednesday, concert organizers pulled the plug on Washington as a venue for raising money and awareness on climate change, thanks in part to global warming skeptic James M. Inhofe.

The Oklahoma senator and a handful of other Republicans refused to sign off on a resolution (S Con Res 24) sponsored by Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., and Olympia J. Snowe, R-Maine, that would have authorized use of the Capitol grounds for the July 7 concert.
Here's the deal, Inhofe: The concert is still going to happen, the issue will still be front and center, and you'll still be a cranky dick. Please stop crying about this being a partisan issue. Caring about the future of this planet, our home, is for all of us, even the cranky dicks.

(Cross-posted at Pure and Easy)

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Gee, You're an Idiot

Watch House Minority Leader John Boehner mispronounce Tuskegee (saying "Tuskejee") like a zillion times during the presentation of the Congressional Gold Medal to the Tuskegee Airmen.

Come on, Boehner! Didn't you ever see The Tuskegee Airmen? Laurence Fishburne, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Andre Braugher, Courtney Vance…? The story of America's first black fighter pilots? Is this ringing any bells at all, dude?

You'd think a guy with a name spelled b-o-e-h-n-e-r, but said bayner, would be a little more sensitive to proper pronunciations.

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Marines Ban Tattoos

You've got to be kidding me: "The Marines are banning any new, extra-large tattoos below the elbow or the knee, saying such body art is harmful to the Corps' spit-and-polish image."

Marine Corps Commandant Gen. James T. Conway announced the policy change last week.

"Some Marines have taken the liberty of tattooing themselves to a point that is contrary to our professional demeanor and the high standards America has come to expect from us," he said. "I believe tattoos of an excessive nature do not represent our traditional values."
Of the list of things I expect from members of our armed forces, being highly tattooed is not among them. Don't wantonly massacre dozens of civilians, don't rape a child and set her on fire and murder her family, don't brutalize detainees. These are the sorts of things on my list. As for tattoos, frankly, I don't give a flying fuck if a wo/man who's served his/her country well wants to look like Leopard Man:



(A veteran of 28 years of service in the British armed forces, btw.)

Anyone caught with a new tattoo on the banned bits "could be barred from re-enlistment or face disciplinary action." So…stop-lossed but aching to go home? Just get some fresh ink! And it's obviously not lost on these wo/men that they're fighting to "spread freedom" but are having their freedom taken away:

"This is something I love to do," said Cpl. David Nadrchal, 20, of Pomona, who made an appointment to get an Iraqi flag and his deployment dates etched onto his lower leg. "The fact I can't put something on my body that I want it's a big thing to tell me I can't do that."

Nadrchal said he is unsure whether he will re-enlist: "There's all these little things. They are slowly chipping away at us."

…Tattoo artist Jerry Layton at the Body Temple Tattoo Studio in Oceanside said he was booked up with Marines rushing to beat the deadline.

"These are guys that are dying in the war," Layton said. "They can fight, but they can't get a tattoo? It's ridiculous."
Totally. The ban strikes me as preventing what's a very important rite of passage for many soldiers, too—all in the pursuit of an "image" that masks the ugly, messy, and generally hardcore nature of war while we're at war. It's like the marines are being told: "Don't remind Joe and Jane America back home that we're at war. Let them sleepwalk through their precious, insulated little lives without any unnecessary wake-up calls." Does that convey a message these wo/men are doing something honorable? Yeesh.

My father-in-law was a sailor for many years. It wasn't an easy life; for much of his childhood, Mr. Shakes wouldn't see him for months at a time. Hard men did the job he did.

He used to be a hard man—hard-working, hard-drinking, hard-tempered. Hard-living. It's difficult for me to reconcile that with the man I met long after that part of his life was over, who won't even show me his plentiful tattoos, accumulated over years of service, because they're "noot fit foor a yoong lady's eyes." I know what they are, though, because Mr. Shakes has told me, and they tell a story about the life he lived. They tell the story about what it meant to be a sailor. It marked him, that hard life. Our soldiers, who will be indelibly marked by their service whether with ink or without, should be able to tell their stories across their skins, too. That strikes me as the very least we owe them.

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime

Super Chicken



For Oddjob.

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Question of the Day

What's your favorite political song?

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Quote of the Day

"In my emails, by referring to 'loyal Bushies,' or loyalty to the president and the attorney general, what I meant was, uh, loyalty to their policies and to the priorities that they had laid out for US attorneys." — Kyle Sampson, attempting to explain (away) what a 'loyal Bushie' is.

Here's the bullshit captured on tape:

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Yarrr, matey!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
We find out via The All Spin Zone that a student in North Buncombe, NC, exercised his Pastafarianism and found himself suspended:

A North Buncombe student is suspended for wearing pirate attire to class. The school says he created a disturbance. But Bryan Killian says costume is part of his religion, Pastafarianism, and that the suspension is the school’s way of violating his first amendment rights.

[...]

Officials at North Buncombe say their decision to suspend Killian for one day had nothing to do with religion or religious beliefs. In a statement, Buncombe County Schools say, “…clothes and items that are deemed to be inappropriate or disruptive to classroom instruction are prohibited.” School administrators also say he ignored repeated warnings about his attire, and they had no choice but suspend him.
Yo ho, baby. Yo ho.

ASZ also points us to a local news poll (that you can vote in) that asks if you think the school district did the right thing regarding the suspension. Interestingly enough, most people are saying no.

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Email Problems

I seem to be having some issues with my email. I'm not sure if Comcast has upgraded its spam filters to outrageously silly levels or what, but Spudsy's emails to me keep getting bounced back as spam, and my inbox is mysteriously empty, compared to its usual nine gazillion messages a day.

So, if you've tried to email me, and you've gotten no response, or got a bounceback, it's not because I'm ignoring or blocking you, I promise.

Try me at melissamcewan-at-yahoo-dot-com if you're having problems or suspect I'm not getting your emails.

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Sampson Testimony

CNN's got a pretty good summary, for anyone who couldn't watch/listen this morning. And of course the invaluable Josh Marshall has the play-by-play.

Also, Think Progress has the scoop on Republicans trying to shut down the hearing.

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Blair Won't Negotiate

Minster of Mulishness:

Prime Minister Tony Blair said Thursday that Britain would not negotiate over British sailors and marines held hostage by Iran. In an interview with ITV News, Blair again called for the unconditional return of the 15 Royal Navy personnel who were seized by Iranian authorities last week.

"The important thing for us is to get them back safe and sound, but we can't enter into some basis of bargaining," Blair said. "What you have to do when you are engaged with people like the Iranian regime, you have to keep explaining to them, very patiently, what it is necessary to do and at the same time make them fully aware there are further measures that will be taken if they're not prepared to be reasonable.

"What you can't do is end up negotiating over hostages; end up saying there's some quid pro quo or tit for tat; that's not acceptable," he said.
He speaks more and more like Bush with every passing day (although I grant that Bush probably thinks quid pro quo is the name of a sports deodorant for men).

Today, Britain took its case to the UN Security Council, in spite of Iran's warnings against doing so, accusing Britain of "miscalculating this issue." Britain requested the support of the Security Council on a statement deploring Tehran's action and demanding the immediate release of the 15 soldiers. "But Security Council diplomats said the statement circulated by Britain's UN Mission is likely to face problems from Russia and others because it says the Britons were 'operating in Iraqi waters'—a point that Iran contests." And now, in retaliation, Iran has rescinded its promise to release Leading Seaman Faye Turney, the only female soldier being held.

Britain's position is: "We are not seeking to put Iran in a corner. We are simply saying: Please release the personnel who should not have been seized in the first place." Iran doesn't share their view that the personnel should not have been seized. Nonetheless, I've got to agree with Chet when he says: "There's no need for this to go any further unless Iran wants it to. … If the Iranians had any kind of point to make, they've made it." Cernig is also right when he says it's always easier to escalate.

It's truly disappointing that another casualty of the war on terror seems to have been British diplomacy.

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Caption This Photo

"I swear I can't remember..."


Kyle Sampson, former chief of staff to U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, testifies at a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on Capitol Hill in Washington March 29, 2007. The hearing is being held to investigate whether politics motivated the firing of U.S. attorneys. REUTERS/Jason Reed

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Be Nice to the Scots

Or you may not like what you find in the mail!

A Scottish company has been slammed for inviting customers to "send a poo" to an Englishman on St George's Day.

Edinburgh-based firm PostaPoo.com is selling plastic "realistic poo" to send to "your favourite (or least favourite) Englishman" to mark April 23.

Customers are given the choice between human or dog-style excrement, wrapped in tissue paper along with a personal message set beside the English flag.

The company sells their poo (I can't believe I just typed that) year-round, and say the prank is popular with disgruntled customers and "revenge seekers." The St. George's Day gimmick is a new angle to peddle their wares. St. George, for those of you that might not know, is the patron saint of England. So basically, this novelty poo company is taking advantage of hundreds of years of animosity and oppression to sell fake poo. But at least they're being light-hearted about it; it does all seem to be in good fun, and the company claims they've received no complaints from customers or recipients.

Members of the English Democrats Party, however, are not amused.

But members of the English Democrats Party, which is campaigning for an English Parliament, questioned the stunt's legality.

Robin Tilbrook, the party's national chairman, said: "The company's website says they will not send this so-called 'practical joke' if the message is deemed threatening, racist, homophobic, or displays religious bigotry.

"It appears to me to be threatening, possibly racist and without question bigoted. It's certainly offensive and possibly an offence."
It's a little difficult for me to take this seriously when they're talking about fake poo. Hell, just the fact that they're calling it "poo," and not a "turd" or anything else is hilarious to me. Well, we'll just leave them to squabble over their plastic poo. In the meantime, I will remind Mr. Shakes that while I once threatened to send him a pair of The World's Most Awesome Pants, I'm still a nice guy and do not deserve poo in the post.

Please.

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Someone Call the Waaaaaaaahhhmbulance!


Wal-Mart's CEO is just so darned mad at the people of NYC! Those meanies! They're such bullies! He wants to come in and put up some of his big shiny stores, and they just won't let him, darn it!

First, a little bit from the Retail, Wholesale and Department Store Union, then the money quote:

Wal-Mart May Never Enter Manhattan

Still, Stuart Applebaum, president of The Retail, Wholesale and Department Store Union, which is leading the charge against Wal-Mart in New York, said Scott's comments were good news for the union. The union represents 100,000 workers throughout the U.S. and Canada, including 45,000 workers in New York.

"They are going to find that no matter where they are in New York City, the response is going to be the same," Applebaum said. "New Yorkers will not tolerate their way of operating. Their promises of low prices come at too high of a cost."

Applebaum said that if Wal-Mart were able open in New York -- the nation's largest city -- it would mean that there "would be no place that would be off limits."
After the way Wal-Mart elbowed their way into Chicago recently, I'm admitting to a heaping spoonful of schadenfreude here. Wal-Mart's not getting what they want for once. Hah! And this made me grin:
In an interview with The New York Times, published Wednesday, Lee Scott, Wal-Mart chief executive and chairman, said that trying to conduct business in New York was so expensive that "I don't think it is worth the effort. I don't care if we are ever here," he told The New York Times at a meeting with editors and reporters on Tuesday.
You don't want me? Fine! I don't care! I don't want to be in your stinky 'ol city, anyway! I'm taking my exploited workers and going home!

Of course, it's high costs, not the strong campaign against Wal-Mart that caused this tantrum.

Ahem.

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Attorneygate Hearing

Kyle Sampson about to be grilled. You can watch live on C-SPAN3.

Chuck Schumer just made his opening statement, and now they're taking a brief recess while the Senators leave for a vote. Shortly, they'll be coming back, and there won't be any more interruptions during the hearing, thanks to Reid's scheduling.

Open thread for discussion on the hearing when it resumes…

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Le Maverique L'âne

Hee Haw:

Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) was close to leaving the Republican Party in 2001, weeks before then-Sen. Jim Jeffords (Vt.) famously announced his decision to become an Independent, according to former Democratic lawmakers who say they were involved in the discussions.

In interviews with The Hill this month, former Sen. Tom Daschle (D-S.D.) and ex-Rep. Tom Downey (D-N.Y.) said there were nearly two months of talks with the maverick lawmaker following an approach by John Weaver, McCain’s chief political strategist.

Democrats had contacted Jeffords and then-Sen. Lincoln Chafee (R-R.I.) in the early months of 2001 about switching parties, but in McCain’s case, they said, it was McCain’s top strategist who came to them.
Big surprise, McCain's campaign is strenuously denying the accuracy of this report. But why on earth would Daschle and Downey make this shit up, particularly now, when McCain's losing ground faster than the slutty girl in a slasher flick? And, by the way, Weaver doesn't even deny the talk took place; he just accuses Downey of mischaracterizing it: "We certainly didn’t discuss in any detail about the senator’s political plans and any discussion about party-switchers, generically, would have been limited to the idle gossip which was all around the city about the [Democrats'] aggressive approach about getting any GOP senator to switch in order to gain the majority. Nothing more or less than that."

Downey says Weaver's full of shit, and, reading between the lines of the article, it sounds to me like McCain was fishing to find out how hard the Dems were willing to fellate him—"if the right people asked him"; Daschle and McCain "had meetings and conversations on the floor and in his office, I think in mine as well, about how we would do it, what the conditions would be. We talked about committees and his seniority … [A lot of issues] were on the table"—then flirted with the idea of going Independent, and eventually took a pass.

But reading between the lines isn't even necessary—this story reeks of McCain, the horrific, stumbling zombie corpse of a once-credible man, whose ambition has eclipsed any hint of integrity, the merest shred of decency. Hopelessly disingenuous, abidingly opportunistic, and incorrigibly cynical, he would sell out his every last heartfelt conviction, if only he had any in the first place.

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Stand-Up President

Unfortunately, I mean stand-up as in "comedian," not as in "full o' integrity." But I hardly have to tell you that, do I, Shakers? Anyway, here's Preznit Haha himself, doing his schtick at last night's Correspondents' Dinner. From mom jokes to lawyer jokes, this cat's got it all. (I transcribed the video, so the transcript is below for anyone who can't view or hear it.)


Thank you, Brian. Laura and I are happy to be here. I'd like to thank the Radio and TV Correspondents Association for providing dinner tonight, and I'd like to thank Senator Webb for providing security. [laughter & applause] I'm glad to see everyone here is enjoying themselves; don't think I haven't noticed all the drinking that's been going on. In my State of the Union address, I said we needed to increase the use of ethanol. [laughter] Well, where should I start? A year ago, my approval rating was in the 30s, my nominee for the Supreme Court had just withdrawn, and my vice president had shot someone. [laughter & applause] Ahh, those were the good old days. [laughter & applause] Sorry the vice president couldn't be here. He's had a rough few weeks. To be honest, his feelings are kinda hurt. He said he was going on vacation to Afghanistan where people like him. [laughter] You in the press certainly have had a lot to report lately. Take the current controversy—I have to admit, we really blew the way we let those attorneys go. You know you've botched it when people sympathize with lawyers. [laughter & applause] Speaking of subpoenas, it's good to see Speaker Pelosi tonight, heh heh heh heh. [laughter & applause] Now some have wondered how the two of us would get along—some say she's bossy, she's opinionated, she's not to be crossed. Hey, I get along with my mother! [laughter & wooos] But between the Congress and the press, there is a lot of scrutiny in this job. Not a day goes by that I don't get scrutineered one way or the other. [laughter & applause] The press is a lot tougher the second term. It's reached the point I sometimes call on Helen Thomas just to hear a friendly voice. [laughter] No matter how tough it gets, however, I have no intention of becoming a lame duck president. Unless, of course, Cheney accidentally shoots me in the leg. [laughter & applause] Hey, I have 664 days left in the White House. So technically I'm a temporary guest worker. [laughter & applause] Now I'm considering what's next. President Clinton, of course, wrote a very successful presidential memoirs with 10,000 pages or sumpin'. [laughter] I'm thinking of something really fun and creative for mine—y'know, maybe a pop-up book? [laughter & applause] Consider a number of titles—which do you like? How Dubya Got His Groove Back? [laughter] Who Moved My Presidency? Heh heh. [laughter] Or Tuesdays with Cheney? [laughter] By the way, I'm not sure whether or not Senator Obama is here. Last I heard, he was not coming to the Radio and TV Correspondents' Dinner—not enough press. [laughter and woos and applause] People magazine recently had a photo of the Senator, there on the beach in Hawaii, his sleek, hairless pecs glistening in the surf. [laughter] Shows how biased the press is. Ya ever seen a shot of, uh, like that of Denny Hastert? [laughter]

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White House Correspondents' Association Dinner

The annual Beltway Elite Circle Jerk was last night, and it was even more embarrassing than usual—which is really saying something.

Ensuring no one will ever enjoy another episode of Who's Line Is It Anyway? again, Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood got Karl Rove up onstage for a fun little rap number, during which Turd Blossom rechristened himself "MC Rove" and tried to do something with his body that I presume was dancing.

But before we even got to his wicked awesome convulsive cavorting, he had a couple of hot jokes for the crowd, like giving his name as "Patrick Fitzgerald," saying he "tears the tops off of small animals" for fun, and responding to Sherwood saying they want to ask him a few questions with, "Lots of people want to ask me questions." Ho ho ho! Isn't being a scumbag criminal employed by the White House just hilarious?!

Considering how hard the room full of assembled politicos and members of the media laughed at this clever repartee, they apparently think it is.

Anyway, here's the stinking video—and I'll have more of Bush making an arse out of himself later…

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime

Manimal

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