Former President Gerald Ford has died at age 93.
Ford became president when Nixon resigned in August 1974. It was less than a year after Ford had assumed the vice presidency in the wake of Spiro Agnew's resignation, making him the first president who was never elected to either the vice presidency or the presidency. A month later, Ford offered an unconditional pardon to Nixon, which paved the road to the White House for Jimmy Carter.
I was born in May 1974, so Ford was my second president, but I have no memory of him. My first awareness of Ford is Chevy Chase's impersonation of him falling down the stairs of Airforce One—which I saw in re-runs.
Pam's got a nice obit you should check out, which illustrates more than anything how much the Republican Party has changed in the last 30 years.
RIP Gerald Ford
Recommended Reading
Ryan Lizza's got a great piece in GQ about Rahm Emanuel, Kiss the Ring. It's well worth your time to give it a read. I'm curious to hear your thoughts about it, or, more specifically, about Emanuel after reading it.
Magical Mystery Meme: The Answering
(Original post here.)
#1: Mad Writing and Forgery Skillz—True. I inherited the ability to write upside-down, backwards, and upside-down-and-backwards from Mama Shakes, who thinks that most people can probably do it, but have never tried. I'm not sure from whence the expert forgery talent came, but the trick to it is that I have to watch someone writing to copy their script. There's something about seeing the way they hold the pen that unconsciously registers technique and pressure that I can then replicate. I can decently replicate a signature I didn't see written, but can't parlay that into writing anything in the same script.
#2: On the Cutting Room Floor of Mercury Rising—True. I've actually told that story here before, so long-time readers had an edge with that one. The reason I was waiting to leave the building was to go fill a prescription for antibiotics my doctor had just called in for me, because I was on death's door with a horrendous case of bronchitis. So I was already short-tempered from being so ill; being made to wait put me in a devilish mood.
#3: Can't Ride a Bike—False. Of course I can ride a bike! Everything I said was true, though, about the oversized bike and falling repeatedly. I fell so much, in fact, that Mama Shakes eventually fashioned me homemade knee- and elbow pads out of pairs of Papa Shakes' socks. Never gave up, though, in my usual tenacious way, and finally learned. And spent the rest of my childhood atop a bike.
#4: Egg Hatred—True. I'm not sure when or how my deeply held aversion to eggs developed, because I liked eggs when I was a kid. But somewhere along the way, I not only lost the taste for them, but actually began to be made sick by the mere smell or sight of cooked eggs. For many years, I couldn't even eat if someone else was eating eggs around me, but now that doesn't bother me so much. (Although I can't kiss Mr. Shakes after he's eaten eggs until he brushes his teeth.) I can, however, cook no problem with raw eggs—they don't bother me at all. And the only way I can explain the egg drop soup exception is that it really doesn't smell, look, or taste of cooked eggs to me.
#5: Lucky at Cards—True. Papa Shakes is an excellent card-player, and I seem to have acquired my luck and skill from him, along with the basics of gin rummy, Shanghai rummy, poker, blackjack, and blitz. (And about a dozen card tricks.) I think some people figured this one was bunk because I said "I regularly come up with absolutely extraordinary hands on the river," which may have read as though I'm not much of a player, waiting until the river to complete my hand. But if I still have a hand by the river, it's already a good hand, and so it's precisely as I said; the river often turns my three aces into an ace-over-kings full house, or my flush into a royal flush. If there's a single card that can make my good hand fantastic, it'll come up on the river—which is what drives Mr. Shakes to agitated distraction when we play.
Boxing Day Cat Blogging
Matilda: Explosion of Fuzz
Olivia: Big Stretch and a Yawn
Waste Not Want Not
Is not an aphorism that means anything to the Bush administration. $2 billion more down the shitter.
Actual Headline
Flash! President Bush Says He Reads Papers—That this is considered newsworthy tells us just about everything we need to know about President Cloistered McBubbleboy, methinks.
President Bush declared in 2003 that he did not read newspapers, but at his final news conference of the year last week, he casually mentioned that he had seen something in the paper that very day.Meanwhile, does anyone really believe he needed to read that in the paper in the first place? Wev.
Asked for his reaction to word that Vice President Cheney would be called to testify in the C.I.A. leak case, the president allowed: “I read it in the newspaper today, and it’s an interesting piece of news.”
That was a marked contrast with his position in 2003, when he told Brit Hume on Fox News that he glanced at the headlines, but “I rarely read the stories,” because, he said, they mix opinion with fact. He said he preferred to get his news from “objective sources” — like “people on my staff who tell me what’s happening in the world.”I'll give you a moment to stop laughing at that one. An oldie but a goodie.
Last year, in an interview with Brian Williams, he softened his stand. “I see a lot of the news,” Mr. Bush told Mr. Williams. “I — every morning I look at the newspaper. I’m not — I can’t say I’ve read every single article in the newspaper, but I definitely know what’s in the news.”Oy. I can't decide what's more pathetic, frankly—the most powerful man in the world saying he "definitely know[s] what's in the news" in a manner belying that he does, or the fact that the dubious news-awareness of the most powerful man in the world warrants a timeline recounting just when, precisely, we were given insights into how dangerously ignorant of current events he actually is.
In April, Mr. Bush reinforced the idea that he read the paper but at the same time suggested it had little influence on his thinking. In rejecting calls to fire Donald H. Rumsfeld, the secretary of defense, he said: “I hear the voices and I read the front page and I hear the speculation, but I’m the decider, and I decide what’s best.”He hears the voices, and then he makes the decidings. Another golden oldie.
Still, despite his statement in 2003 that he did not read the papers, his wife, Laura, said last week that she and her husband had read the morning papers for years. “We’ve done the same thing since we first got married,” she told People magazine. “We wake up in the morning and drink coffee and read the newspapers.”I'm not sure that catching up with the hilarious exploits of Beetle Bailey and Funky Winkerbean is technically "reading the newspaper."
Tony Snow, the president’s press secretary, said in an interview he was certain Mr. Bush read the papers, though he was not sure which ones.Although he did confirm they are all printed daily in the White House basement.
While the merry bells keep ringing, may your ev'ry wish come true
This is the "Shakes" version of Mr. Shakes' and my actual
holiday card. The South Park versions of us were created
here, and they are scarily accurate representations of us.
Happy Festivus, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa,
Happy New Year, and much awesomeness for whatever else you're celebrating.
Music for Sunday Night
Ignore the video. Just listen to the music.
Music for Saturday Night
This is one of my favorite FL tracks, any time of year.
The Magical Mystery Meme
Och aye, I've been tagged!
Sticking with the meme that brung me, I'm doing it the "Ezra" and hence "Neil" way—that is, four of the following stories are true, and one is the creation of a memed fabulist.
1. I am ambidextrous and can write, in both print and cursive, backwards, upside-down, and upside-down-and-backwards. I am also a spectacular forger. After watching someone write their signature, I can not only replicate it but write just about anything else in their script as well. A former boss of mine had me sign everything for him and handwrite notes on his behalf—and was constantly delighted and disturbed that even he couldn't tell the difference between his writing and my mimicry of it.
2. I have had unexpected encounters with three famously conservative stars: Gary Sinise, who was extremely nice, Mel Gibson, who appeared quite sane and did not call me 'Sugartits,' though he was only drinking coffee at the time, and Bruce Willis, who was filming a scene from Mercury Rising outside the building in which I was working. Directly outside the front door, in fact—which is why, when I tried to leave the building, I was stopped by a big gym rat in a black muscle tee who told me I had to wait for 10 minutes because "they're shooting a scene and we can't interrupt them." Forty minutes later, a crowd of people, many of whom were trying to leave to get to business meetings, had gathered, and I was getting testy with the gym rat. "Ten minutes," he told me, but I saw the fear in his eyes. "That's what you said forty minutes ago," I snarled, then shoved past him and out the door—and, hence, into the scene—where someone yelled "Cut!" and one Mr. Bruce Willis admonished me, "We're trying to shoot a film here!" and I snapped back, "I'm trying to live my life here!" before marching off haughtily. Attica! Attica!
3. I have never properly learned how to ride a bike. Because my parents were teachers, we spent our summers either traveling about the country on "educational vacations" or in New York City, where my mom grew up, with my grandparents. One summer in NYC, my dad tried to teach me how to ride a bike, but between having a borrowed bike that was too big for me and trying to stay upright on Queens' tree root-cracked, uneven sidewalks, it was a disaster. I tried for weeks, but learned only that scabbed knees and elbows elicit easily-exploited amounts of sympathy from grandparents.
4. I hate—hate hate hate with the passion of ten thousand suns—eggs and anything "eggy," like mayonnaise. (I don't terribly mind a little mayo in, say, tuna salad, but when I make it myself, I use fat-free cucumber ranch dressing instead.) On the phone with Paul the other day, who knows of my deep detestation of eggs and with whom I'll be spending Christmas Eve, he was harassing me with threats of serving me eggnog. I told him I'd sooner eat one of his dog's turds, which sent him into fits of laughter, mainly because he knows it's true. The weirdest bit of my egg revulsion is that while the mere whiff of cooked eggs makes me gag, I love egg drop soup. Mr. Shakes often cites this as evidence of my insanity, a point which I find admittedly tough to dispute.
5. I love card games, and I tend to be extremely lucky at the games I like the least. Five Card Stud is my favorite poker variation, but I am significantly more lucky (and probably also more skilled) at Texas Hold 'Em. I regularly come up with absolutely extraordinary hands on the river. And though I prefer poker, I have more success with blackjack, which I find quite tedious, because it is simply a game of memory and math and has none of the fun bits of poker, like searching out tells and talking smack.
There is it. Now it's up to you to guess which one is false.
And now I'm tasked with tagging five more. Go: Maurinsky, Griffin, Creature, Deborah, and Shayera.
Everyone else should consider themselves tagged, too, and drop me a line in comments if you pick up The Magical Mystery Meme.
(Crossposted at Ezra's place.)
What would happen if the Virgin Mary came to Bethlehem today?
"There are no Hamas or Fatah foetuses." That certainly seems an important thing to remember. I know in the grand scheme of things it's not "that simple," but when the choice is let a woman through a checkpoint or force her to give birth in the back of a car at the end of a gun, it is precisely that simple.
Ho Ho Ho
If you can get through the longest, slowest, most boring credits ever, you'll be well on your way to enjoying an awesome Christmas classic from 1959, K. Gordon Murray's Santa Claus, in which Santa must fight the Devil for the salvation of humankind on Christmas Day.
This is Part One; the rest is below the fold. H/T to Recon, who makes every day Christmas!
Part Three:
Part Four:
Part Five:
Part Six:
Part Seven:
Part Eight:
Part Nine:
The Virtual Bar Is Open
Continuing a tradition, and a theme, whatever you are celebrating this year, even if just its end, I hope you enjoy yourself and stay safe and healthy, and wish you all oodles of joy and best wishes—and most importantly peace.
Now drink up, Shakers!
May the best ye've ever seen
Be the worst ye'll ever see
May a moose ne'er leave yer girnal
Wi' a tear drap in his e'e
May ye aye keep hale an' he'rty
Till ye're auld eneuch tae dee
May ye aye be jist as happy
As we wish ye aye tae be
Slainte Mhath!
Just Don't Say Macaca
The "swearing in on the Quran" hysteria continues, and Virgil Goode is leading the way. (Bolds mine)
Goode wrote that to "preserve the values and beliefs traditional to the United States," an immigration overhaul was necessary to avoid "many more Muslims elected to office demanding the use of the Quran."Yes, Jebus forbid that any Muslims be elected to office and "demand" use of the Quran. After all, strict adherence to one religion is one of the principles that this country was founded upon!
Oh, wait...
Defending his statements Thursday, Goode, a Republican, told Fox News he wants to limit legal immigration."Not from European countries?" Is it just me, or does that sound like "visas for white people only?"
He also said he wants to do away with "diversity visas," which he said allowed people into America "not from European countries" and "some terrorist states."
I'm really loving this new racism on the Right. Pulling an Allen and calling someone "macaca" will get you in trouble. But cloak your racism with boo scary talk of "terrorists," and suddenly, you're patriotic and tough on National Security.
Keith Ellison, meanwhile, refuses to sink to their level:
Minnesota Rep.-elect Keith Ellison told CNN that he is not angry about a letter Virginia Rep. Virgil Goode wrote that said Ellison should not be allowed to place his hand on the Quran during his unofficial swearing in ceremony.Damn that Constitution! It just wants to let anyone into office, and use whatever goddamned book they like! Why does the Constitution hate America?
"I think the diversity of our country is a great strength," Ellison told CNN's Wolf Blitzer. "It's a good thing that we have people from all faiths and all cultures to come here."
[...]
Ellison responded to Goode's sentiments by saying that he would like to meet with Goode to talk about Islam and find some "common ground."
"We all support one Constitution, one Constitution that upholds our right to equal protection, one Constitution that guarantees us due process under the law, one Constitution which says there is no religious test for elective office in America," Ellison said.
Meanwhile, Goode said at a news conference at the Franklin County Courthouse in Rocky Mount, Virginia, that he feels he said nothing inappropriate.I do not think that means what you think it means.
"I will not be putting my hand on the Quran," Goode said.
Goode, who represents Virginia's 5th Congressional District, said he is receiving more positive comments from constituents than negative.
"One lady told me she thinks I'm doing the right thing on this," he told Fox News. "I wish more people would take a stand and stand up for the principles on which this country was founded."
Shakes has much more in her latest article at Comment is Free, A Big Tent for Bigots. Take a look!
Update: Don't hold your breath.
Meet the GOP's 2036 Presidential Nominee
Todd Shriber, the communications director for U.S. Rep. Denny Rehberg (R-Mont.), went to attrition.org in September looking to hire a hacker or two for a fairly straightforward task: he wanted someone to break into Texas Christian University’s computer system and change his grade point average.Via Josh Marshall:
…The two “hackers” who decided to avoid the criminal work and string Shriber along had entirely too much fun with the poor schmuck. At one point, they asked Shriber to recognize exactly what he was requesting, and take certain steps to ensure their safety:“First, let’s be clear. You are soliciting me to break the law and hack into a computer across state lines. That is a federal offense and multiple felonies. Obviously I can’t trust anyone and everyone that mails such a request, you might be an FBI agent, right? So, I need three things to make this happen: 1. A picture of a squirrel or pigeon on your campus. One close-up, one with background that shows buildings, a sign, or something to indicate you are standing on the campus. 2. The information I mentioned so I can find the records once I get into the database. 3. Some idea of what I get for all my trouble.’”You wouldn’t believe the picture Shriber sent…
Wow.
