Weird Al’s parody of Chamillionaire’s Ridin’. (If you haven’t heard the song, its chorus repeats the phrase “ridin’ dirty,” hence “white and nerdy.”) This should basically be my theme song. Via Angelos.
White and Nerdy
Quote of the Day
Actually, last night—prompted by Mr. Shakes not knowing the answer to a question about Texas while we were watching Jeopardy, for which I was faux-mocking him (because I did know it)...
“Whatever. I pride myself oon knooing noothing aboot Texas the way certain Texans pride themselves oon knooing noothing aboot Scootland.”
I can’t imagine to whom he might have been referring.
Drunk Driver Crashes Into Himself
Or “drink driver,” as they say in Britain:
A US drink driver, who drove at a gang of bikers while waving a pool cue, ran himself over after getting out of his car.What a douche.
…California Highway Patrol Officer Scott Yox told the San Francisco Chronicle the man waved a pool cue at the bikers and swerved his car towards them. The bikers split into two groups to get away and the irate driver aimed his car at two bikers who had pulled off the highway. He got out of his car with the pool cue — but before he could do anything, he was knocked down by his own car which had been left in reverse.
…Some of the bikers grabbed him and pulled him out of danger. Authorities said they had no idea why Brooks reacted the way he did to the bikers, who kept calm and didn't retaliate. …The man suffered cuts and scratches and was taken to hospital. He could face charges of assault with a deadly weapon and drink driving.
Btw, the best line in the article is care of aforementioned CHiPs Officer Yox, re: the bikers: “We don't believe they went to fisticuffs with him.” Fisticuffs! How deliciously old-timey!
I do declare if my daddy hadn’t already given to my hand to Mr. Shakes, I’d fancy the notion of Mr. Yox being my gentleman caller.
Boo-Hoo. You're Breaking My Heart.
Oh, my little spuds, break out the tissues. Prepare yourself to weep hot, bitter tears. For nothing, nothing could be more heartbreaking than the following news story...
Evangelical Voteres More Jaded in 2006
Oh, you poor, poor dears!!
NASHVILLE, Tenn. - Christian conservatives, traditionally a reliable Republican constituency, aren't necessarily a GOP gimme this time around. There is an undercurrent of concern that some evangelicals, unhappy that the GOP-led Congress and President Bush haven't paid more attention to gay marriage and other "values" issues, may stay home on Election Day or even vote Democratic.Yes, your hateful, marginalizing anti-gay agenda was just a little too late for these poor, ignored souls. Yes, the Republicans pandered, but they didn't pander enough, goddamn it. Where was the hate and fear? Why weren't they trying enough to smack down the gays? You mean... you mean they were just pandering to your hatred, bigotry and fear to wrangle your knuckleheaded votes? Why, those uncaring bastards!
"Conservative Christians are somewhat disenchanted with Republicans," said Kenyn Cureton, vice president for convention relations with the executive committee of the Southern Baptist Convention, the nation's largest Protestant denomination with nearly 16 million members.
Religious conservatives are unhappy the Republican-led Congress hasn't paid enough attention to "values issues," he said, noting that even a push this summer against same-sex marriage came too late.
(Oh, and the day "conservative evangelicals" start voting Democratic because the Republicans aren't spoon-feeding them enough hate, I'll eat my energy dome.)
"It has not escaped our notice that they waited until just a few months from the November elections to address our agenda," Cureton saidWow, you guys have razor sharp observation skills.
Jonathan Gregory, 38, a deacon at Grace Baptist Church in Bethpage, Tenn., said he may not vote GOP this fall, even though he considers himself a Republican and has voted for President Bush.Uh... hate to tell you this, Jonathan old bean, but if you're planning on voting "conservative across the board," you're going to be voting GOP. These bozos may not be conservative enough for your tastes, but even a right-leaning Democrat won't be vicious enough to get your vote.
"I will vote conservative across the board, depending on the candidates' stance on abortion, gay marriage and their support of the military," Gregory said.
Of course, you're more than welcome to vote third party. Let me know how that works out for you.
The Colorado-based Focus on the Family has started voter registration drives in eight states, according to the group's Web site. The Southern Baptist Convention is helping promote a Focus on the Family DVD about gay marriage.What complete horseshit. If a liberal church can be investigated by the IRS for an anti-war sermon - which wasn't exactly "endorsing a candidate" - then these slimeballs should definitely have the IRS crawling all over them for this. If you take an anti-war sermon as an endorsement for the Democratic party, then you have to apply the same logic in reverse. The last time I checked, the Republican party was leading the big push for "traditional marriage." Therefore, this is an endorsement for the Republican party. Therefore, bye-bye tax exempt status.
The DVD and booklet about gay marriage entitled "Why Not Gay Marriage?" aims to "equip Christians with answers to some of the most often asked questions in the gay marriage debate."
Neither group is endorsing candidates, which they're not allowed to do because of their tax-exempt status, but they are encouraging Christians to vote on "values issues," Cureton said.
Watch me hold my breath.
Church coordinator duties include "encouraging pastors to speak about Christian citizenship, conducting a voter registration drive, distributing voter guides and get-out-the-vote efforts." County coordinators recruit "key evangelical churches, friends and family and supporting church coordinators with periodic phone calls."Oh man, the IRS is all over these people like a bad suit...
...wait, they're not? It's perfectly okay?
Well, color me shocked.
Those efforts are continuing this year, with churches holding nonpartisan voter registration drives and pastors encouraged to preach on "values issues," particularly since conservative Christians may be disillusioned this time around, Cureton said.Waaah, waaah, waaah. I'm just heartbroken that your hate isn't being paid attention to by your evil overlords. You know something? Welcome to the fucking club. I'm not about to shed a tear over your frustration that Republicans aren't "paying enough attention to the gay marriage issue," when it's specifically designed to marginalize me and turn me into a second-class citizen. Especially when the government doesn't give a good goddamn about what I think.
You've got it all. You've got an insanely religious country, a Jebus-spouting lunatic in the White House, more money than you could ever use, the ear of the press, hell, the press itself, tax-exempt status (if you're conservative), and complete protection of the law. George W. Bush has done nothing but pander to you and your ideals since he first started running for office. Conservative Christians, especially White ones, have it better than anyone else in this country, when it comes to their ideals being considered for legislation.
Meanwhile, I'm ignored by Federal Civil Rights laws.
As far as the government is concerned, LGBT Americans Citizens shouldn't even exist.
Cry me a fucking river, you whiny pricks.
UPDATE: And another thing that popped into my head after this rant...
Every time that we've tried to enact Federal Protection for the LGBT community- for shit you take completely for granted, by the way- it's been thwarted by you assholes, shrieking "special rights!"
It's not a "special right" to be protected from losing your apartment for being gay, for chrissakes.
YOU can't lose your job for being Christian. However, I can be fired for being gay. The law protects you. It could give two fucks for me.
So, again, kindly shut the fuck up.
(Tiny violin image totally stolen from Pam. I'm a big cross-post and I need a big cereal!)
Most Hideous Image-Inducing Headline Ever
Katherine Harris, GOP & Bush Come Together. That’s enough to put a girl off orgies for good.
(Via Me4Pres.)
Oh, his Virgin Ears!
My goodness, what is it with these kids today? Why must they use such harsh language and shout so?
Bush 'Taken Aback' by Musharraf Comment
WASHINGTON - President Bush said Friday he was "taken aback" by a purported U.S. threat to bomb Pakistan back to the Stone Age if it did not cooperate in the fight against terrorism after the Sept. 11 attacks.More "straight-shootin, I looked in his eyes and I believe what's in his heart" policy by Prezint Normal McDrinkbeerwithhimson.
He praised Pakistani President Gen. Pervez Musharraf for being one of the first foreign leaders to come out after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks to stand with the U.S. to "help root out an enemy."
At a joint White House news conference, Musharraf said a peace treaty between his government and tribes along the Pakistan- Afghanistan border is not meant to support the Taliban.
He said news reports had mischaracterized the deals. "The deal is not at all with the Taliban. This deal is against the Taliban. This deal is with the tribal elders," Musharraf said.
Said Bush: "I believe him."
He said that Musharraf had looked him in the eye and vowed that "the tribal deal is intended to reject the Talibanization of the people and that there won't be a Taliban and there wont be al-Aqaida (in Pakistan)."
In an interview to air Sunday on CBS-TV's "60 Minutes" program, Musharraf said that after the attacks, Richard Armitage, then deputy secretary of state, told Pakistan's intelligence director that the United States would bomb his country if it didn't help fight terrorists.Wev. Look, we all know that Bush and his gaggle of insane commandos have no problem whatsoever with harsh, threatening language. I have no idea if Armitage really said this or not, but let's just say it's not too difficult to believe. Bush and his cronies love to do the big bomb prickwave, and we know they're not above thuggish threats.
He said that Armitage had told him, "Be prepared to go back to the Stone Age."
Armitage has disputed the language attributed to him but did not deny the message was a strong one.
Asked about the report, Bush said, "The first I heard of this is when I read it in the newspaper. I guess I was taken aback by the harshness of the words."
For his part, Musharraf declined to comment and cited a contract agreement with a publisher on an upcoming book. However, he told CBS the Stone Age warning "was a very rude remark."
I just find Bush's "My goodness gracious" reaction to be pretty amusing.
(Mister Cross-post... bring me a dream...)
Friday New Music Fluff
Not that you care, but I thought I'd fill you all in on some new music that's spinning in the Spudmobile CD player (or zipping in 1 and 0 form through the MP3 player). I should warn you, I'm no music critic. Don't expect any brilliant insight; I'm just saying this here be good music.
Jihad Jerry and the Evildoers: Mine is Not a Holy War
Jerry Casale of my beloved DEVO has branched out into this side project, and I'm really loving it. It's available on itunes right now, and the album is now available. (I jumped the gun and bought it digitally, not realizing it would come out in album form. D'oh.) You can hear songs off the album at the Jihad Jerry Myspace website. (I don't know if I'm delighted or annoyed by the fact that it seems like you have to have a Myspace site these days if you're in a band, movie, or what have you. Or maybe it's just the fact that I find Myspace annoying. And you kids get off my lawn!) I highly recommend "The Time Is Now," and my personal favorite, "The Owl." The sound is definitely devolved; members of DEVO are lurking in the background, and he's got some backup singers along for the ride. There's also a song penned especially for Dear Leader, "If the Shoe Fits." And yes, it certainly does. The next best thing to a new DEVO album... pick it up, infidels! (Oh, and someone please tell me where I can get one of those pink suits.)
Persephone's Bees: Notes from the Underworld
I picked this one up completely by chance. The husband and I were wandering around the Virgin Megastore, and this was on one of the new release listening stations. I've learned from experience that if an album cover catches my eye and sets off intrigue in my primal lizard brain, it's probably a good idea to give it a spin. And oh, my little Spuds, I'm so glad I did.
I'm finding it very difficult to explain their sound, but I'll give it a whirl. They've got this very interesting "60's French sunshine pop" feel; but with some bloopy keyboard work, and some pretty searing guitar. It popped into my head yesterday that they kind of sound as if Combustible Edison threw together a rock band. Head on over to the website for some song samples if this intrigues you... my favorite track right now is "City of Love," which has a nice little funky beat that gets hijacked by this weird calliope stuff about halfway through the song. Are there any San Francisco Shakers out there that have seen them live?
If you've picked up something new that's taken up permanent residence in your CD player, please let me know about it in comments! (Unless it's Justin Timberlake.)
(There was a time... when the world was cross-posted...)
Friday Cat Blogging
Olivia
More below the fold, including pix of my parents’ cats, whom I’m looking after this week while my parents are away.
Suede
Thinnest cat in the world. Tres crazy eyes.
Willow
Sweetie fluffball.
Feeling Safer Yet?
Seriously…WTF?
More than 1,100 laptop computers have vanished from the Department of Commerce since 2001, including nearly 250 from the Census Bureau containing such personal information as names, incomes and Social Security numbers, federal officials said yesterday.What I Would Do If I Were a Democratic Strategist: Put this information in a political ad and use it as a referendum on this administration’s ability to secure anything.
This disclosure by the department came in response to a request by the House Committee on Government Reform, which this summer asked 17 federal departments to detail any loss of computers holding sensitive personal information.
Of the 10 departments that have responded, the losses at Commerce are "by far the most egregious," said David Marin, staff director for the committee. He added that the silence of the remaining seven departments could reflect their reluctance to reveal problems of similar magnitude.
Flying H. Spaghetti Monster
Here is a way to measure how seriously President Bush was willing to compromise on the military tribunals bill: Less than an hour after an agreement was announced yesterday with three leading Republican senators, the White House was already laying a path to wiggle out of its one real concession.This president doesn’t even listen to the concerns of members of his own party, who, lest we forget, are there to represent the interests of their constituents, otherwise known as the American people. There’s a word for a leader who does whatever the fuck he wants to do regardless of what his country’s citizens think. I hope the GOP is proud of itself for rubber-stamping this asswipe right into his own nifty little dictatorship.
About the only thing that Senators John Warner, John McCain and Lindsey Graham had to show for their defiance was Mr. Bush’s agreement to drop his insistence on allowing prosecutors of suspected terrorists to introduce classified evidence kept secret from the defendant. The White House agreed to abide by the rules of courts-martial, which bar secret evidence.
…So it seemed like a significant concession — until Stephen Hadley, the national security adviser, briefed reporters yesterday evening. He said that while the White House wants to honor this deal, the chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, Duncan Hunter, still wants to permit secret evidence and should certainly have his say. To accept this spin requires believing that Mr. Hunter, who railroaded Mr. Bush’s original bill through his committee, is going to take any action not blessed by the White House.
The deal does next to nothing to stop the president from reinterpreting the Geneva Conventions.
Faith Films
In his post FauxFaith, about Fox’s newly-formed studio to churn out religious fare, FoxFaith, Kevin Wolf was asked by one of his commenters to come up with some good movies about religion and/or faith. His commenter suggested The Seventh Seal (proving immediately that “good movie” is a very subjective term) and Millions. Kevin offered The Blues Brothers, The Silence, The Exorcist, and The Rapture. Others suggested Winter Light and Crimes and Misdemeanors.
Off the top of my head, I’d add Saved, Signs, The Mission, and It’s a Wonderful Life.
I don’t know if these really count, since they’re not specifically about crises of faith, but perhaps In the Name of the Rose and Agnes of God ought to be on the list, too.
I’d also suggest that there are a lot of films which are about faith, even if they’re not overtly religious, like Awakenings or Field of Dreams.
Anyway, what have you got, Shakers?
Question of the Day
The most impassionate song
To a lonely soul
Is so easily outgrown
But don't forget the songs
That made you smile
And the songs that made you cry
When you lay in awe
On the bedroom floor...
Don't forget the songs
That made you cry
And the songs that saved your life
Yes, you're older now
And you're a clever swine
But they were the only ones who ever stood by you...
— "Rubber Ring," The Smiths
And so we come to the three-part question: What song makes you smile? What song makes you cry? And what song saved your life?
Mine (of many, in each category), in order: Christmas at the Zoo by The Flaming Lips, The Luckiest by Ben Folds, There Is A Light That Never Goes Out by The Smiths.
Bush and Rebellious Repubs Reach Deal on Torture
No word on what the precise agreement is, but McCain assures us “There’s no doubt that the integrity and letter and spirit of the Geneva Conventions have been preserved,” which, based on his previous track record with this issue, I presume we can take to mean, “Let’s get ready to torrrrrrrturrrrrrrrrrre!”
A political ad so heinous…
…that even Republicans are disavowing it.
A national black Republican group is running a radio advertisement accusing Democrats of starting the Ku Klux Klan and saying they have "bamboozled" black voters.Wow. Just wow.
Lt. Gov. Michael Steele, the black Republican nominee for Maryland’s open U.S. Senate seat, disavowed the ad Thursday and called for the Washington-based National Black Republican Association to stop running it. In a statement, he said it was "insulting to Marylanders and should come down immediately."
…The spot, a conversation between two women, includes one saying, "Democrats passed those black codes and Jim Crow laws. Democrats started the Ku Klux Klan." "The Klan?" the other woman replies. "White hoods and sheets?"
The first woman also says, "Democrats fought all civil rights legislation from the 1860s to the 1960s. Democrats released those vicious dogs and fire hoses on blacks."
The ad asserts that "Democrats want to keep us poor while voting only Democrat" and, "Democrats want us to accept same-sex marriages, teen abortions without a parent’s consent and suing the Boy Scouts for saying 'God' in their pledge."
About the GOP, the ad says "Republicans freed us from slavery and put our right to vote in the constitution."
I know that the Democrats as an entire party really aren’t doing enough to address minority issues, individual party members (and caucuses) notwithstanding, and I’m well aware that the Dixiecrats were turncoat Dems. In other words, you won’t find me arguing that the Dems are brilliant at serving their black constituency. But this is just patent insanity. Not to mention typically mendacious Republican wedge issue bullshit, in which boys kissing and women’s bodily autonomy eclipse any and all other issues, even the right to vote.
Meanwhile, it’s certainly interesting that an ad by the UCC implying acceptance of gay and lesbian couples was rejected for being “too conversial,” but an ad claiming that the Democrats want to keep blacks poor is just fucking fine.
In case you haven’t seen it yet…
…here’s that creepy old closet queen “Dr.” Paul Cameron on The Daily Show talking about why gays don’t belong in the military.
He’s such a revolting gasbag. Something tells me the Superbloggers might need to take him down in the not-to-distant future.
