Shakespeare’s Sister
I’m often asked from where the name of this blog came, which is understandable, considering it doesn't really make any sense. It's from a Smiths’ song of the same name; not one of their most well-known tracks, and the words "Shakespeare's Sister" never appear anywhere in the lyrics. Morrissey probably stole it from Virginia Woolf, who used it in an essay once upon a time.
I just found some video of The Smiths performing the song live in Madrid. I’m not sure when this performance was, although Morrissey notes it’s their new single, and “Shakespeare’s Sister” reached #26 on the British charts in March 1985, so it was probably sometime around then.
I thought that if you had an acoustic guitar, it meant that you were a protest singer. I can smile about it now, but at the time it was terrible…
The Virtual Pub is Open (and QotD)
It seems a bit silly to have a separate Question of the Day, when we’ve got the Virtual Pub hopping, so from now on, I’ll just combine them on Friday nights.
Belly up to the bar and place your drink orders. As always, drinks are on the house and McEwan’s is on tap. I’ll be popping in and out, so help yourself to whatever you find if I’m not behind the bar.
The QotD, as it must be in any pub worth its salt, is: What’s on your mind? Celebrating? Drowning your woes? Got a good story to share? Let’s have it.
Random Eddie Izzard Blogging
There must've been a Death Star canteen, yeah? There must've been a cafeteria downstairs, in between battles, where Darth Vader could just chill and go down:
Darth Vader: "I will have the penne al'arrabiata."
Canteen Worker: "You'll need a tray."
DV: "Do you know who I am?"
CW: "Do you know who I am?"
DV: "This is not a game of who the fuck are you. For I am Vader, Darth Vader, Lord Vader. I can kill you with a single thought."
CW: "Well, you'll still need a tray."
DV: "No, I will not need a tray. I do not need a tray to kill you. I can kill you without a tray, with the power of the Force, which is strong within me. Even though I could kill you with a tray if I so wished. For I would hack at your neck with the thin bit until the blood flowed across the canteen floor."
CW: "No, the food is hot. You'll need a tray to put the food on."
DV: "Oh, I see the food is hot. I'm sorry. I did not realize. Hahahaha...Oh...tray for the....yes. I thought you were challenging me for the fight to the death."
CW: "A fight to the death? This a canteen, I work here."
DV: "Yes, but I am Vader. I am Lord Vader. Everyone challenges me to a fight to the death. Lord Vader? Darth Vader, I'm Darth Vader. Sir Lord Vader? Sir Lord Darth Vader? Lord Darth Sir Lord, Lord Vader of Cheem? Sir Lord Baron Von Vader Ham? The Death Star. I run the Death Star."
CW: "What's the Death Star?"
DV: "This is the Death Star! You're in the Death Star! I run this star!"
CW: "This is a star?"
DV: "This is a fucking star! I run it! I'm your boss."
CW: "You're Mr. Stevens?"
DV: "No, I'm...Who is Mr. Stevens?"
CW: "He's Head of Catering."
DV: "I'm not Head of Catering! I am Vader, I can kill catering with a thought."
CW: "Wha?"
DV: "I can kill you all! I can kill me with a thought! Just...fine, I'll get a tray! Fuck it! This one's wet, and this one's wet and this one's wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. This one is wet. Did you dry these in a rainforest? Why, with the power of the Death Star do we not have a tray that is fucking dry? I do not... No, no, no! I was here first!"
Other guy: "You have to form a queue if you want food. Can I have uh....Ooo, penne al'arrabiata. That'd be very nice."
DV: "No, no, no! Do you know who I am?"
CW: "That's Jeff Vader that is!"
DV: "I am not Jeff Vader, I am Darth Vader."
OG "What? Jeff Vader runs the Death Star?"
DV: "No, Jeff....No, I run the Death Star."
OG: "You Jeff Vader?"
DV: "No, I'm Darth Vader."
OG: "Are you his brother? Could you get his autograph?"
DV: "I can't get his....No, I'm Jeff...Alright, I'm Jeff Vader! I'm Jeff Vader!"
OG: "Could I have your autograph?"
DV: "No, fuck off or I'll kill you with a tray! Give me penne al'arrabiata or you shall die! And you and everyone in this canteen! Death by tray it shall be!"
CW: "Do you want peas with that?"
DV: "Peas! You don't have peas! You can't put in right in...you can't put...it doens't work with penne! Unless you push 'em up the penne tubes and then it'd be weird! Oh alright! Put some peas in."
Whoa.
To expand on Shakes' earlier post, Melanie Morgan is fucking nuts. Greg Sargent of The American Prospect got in a little email "discussion" with her over the New York Times brouhaha. First, she had this to say, regarding Bill Keller:
"If he were to be tried and convicted of treason, yes, I would have no problem with him being sent to the gas chamber."Then, it got worse.
After emailing her for confirmation of the quote -- which she granted -- I sent her this extended description of the horrors of dying in a gas chamber, and asked the following: "Given that definition of the gas chamber, Is it really true that you'd countenance the above-described lengthy and excrutiatingly painful death for Bill Keller for printing that story?"Ho...lee... shit. These people are completely insane. She's not just regurgitating Republican talking points, she's turned into Grendel's mother.
Here's the emailed reply from Morgan, in full knowledge that it was on the record:Let me answer your question with a question. If, by leaking classified information that resulted in the deaths of American soldiers -- let's just say that a terrorist purchased all the ingredients necessary for an IED and detonated against a convoy of 18, 19 and 20- something Marines, killing them -- do you honestly think I would give a rat's rear-end how the editor who leaked that information dies? Do you think I actually CARE if he or she goes slowly, banging away on the prison bars or is extinguished immediately? The answer is NO. I DO NOT CARE.
However, the best solution that I can think of to deal with any newspaper editor, whether it's from the NY Times, LAT, WaPo, or the Wall Street Journal who is responsible for leaking national security classified information, is to be locked in a steel cage with the family members of slain troop members who would happily deliver the ultimate punishment of death. And then sent to the hottest corner of hell. (Emphasis added.)
And again, I feel it has to be said... "leaking" information that the President himself has been announcing to the media since 9/11 is treason worthy of a horrible execution... but sending soldiers to die over a lie is just fine?
I'm living in a cuckoo clock.
(Jaw-dropped cross-post.)
President Pander McBackdown
Remember when Bush said this, regarding the immigration issue?
Tonight, I want to speak directly to members of the House and the Senate: An immigration reform bill needs to be comprehensive, because all elements of this problem must be addressed together, or none of them will be solved at all.
Well, in a move that should suprise absolutely no one, Bush is backing down from his position.
[I]n recent days, senators and the White House have dropped hints that they are willing to move closer to the House’s position - perhaps by agreeing to a two-phase plan that would begin with construction of triple-layer walls, deployment of surveillance aircraft and other means of tightening the border with Mexico. When those measures are fully funded and operational - a process that could take as much as two years - debate on some version of the Senate’s broader proposals would begin. […]More at the link.
Also this week, Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.) met with Bush and Vice President Cheney to discuss his proposal for a guest worker program that would roll out only after the government certifies that the border is secure. “The president listened intently,” Pence told reporters. “He told me that he was intrigued with my proposal.”
So, even when he has support for reform, he allows himself to be bullied by the far Right "base." So much for a path to citizenship. And again... what about the other borders?
Caption This Photo
President Bush teases with first lady Laura Bush under the
belly of Air Force One... (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)
(Thanks, Holley.)
OMFSM!
You’ve got to read this post by Mark at Chez Lark, who has had his (and probably all of our) worst fear confirmed: That many of the assmonkeys in the Senate debating the issue of Net Neutrality have no frigging clue what they’re talking about.
Enter Republican Senator Ted Stevens:
I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o’clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?Well, it takes a long time to send a whole internet, Mr. Senator.
Bill “Good Ideaz” Frist hits another one out of the park.
"The threat from Iran is only going to grow in the years ahead. We need to take steps now to prepare to deal with that threat," Frist, R-Tenn., said in a letter to the president.In case you missed the upshot (no pun intended) of Frist’s missive, basically he wants to build a European missile-defense site. He believes: “The time has come to revive and reinvigorate discussions with allies in Europe that have previously expressed interest in hosting these interceptors at a third site on their territory.”
…"As Iran continues to make progress in deploying its Shahab 3 missiles and developing new, longer range missiles, while simultaneously pursuing nuclear weapons, the ability to shoot down Iranian warheads in flight becomes increasingly critical to our national security," Frist said.
Previously…as in, prior to the GOP turning America into the crazy kid that no one wants to play with because he blows up frogs with firecrackers.
Which, btw, our president actually used to do.
Frankly, I’m nowhere near convinced that successfully protecting ourselves from Iran is dependent on sticking a missile-defense system (have those things even been proven to work?) in Europe, but let’s say for shits and giggles that it did. That would create one more line item we can add to the Why You Shouldn’t Constantly Piss Off Your Allies List.
#7,982: Because you might want to put a weapons defense system in their backyard someday.
Al Gore in Rolling Stone
Here.
Bush is insulated -- his staff smiles a lot and only gives him the news that he wants to hear. Unfortunately, they still have this delusion that they create their own reality. As George Orwell wrote, we human beings are capable of convincing ourselves of something that's not true long after the accumulated evidence would convince any reasonable person that it's wrong. And when leaders persist in that error, sooner or later they have a collision with reality, often on a battlefield. That, in essence, is exactly what happened in Iraq. But we have to keep that from happening with the climate crisis. Because by the time the worst consequences begin to unfold, it would be too late.It’s a good interview. (Thanks, Angelos.)
You can’t make this shit up.
Fox host Brian Kilmeade suggests “the U.S. government should ‘put up the Office of Censorship’ to screen news reports to determine whether they ‘hurt the country’ or are of ‘news value.’”
Why, oh why, is my blog starting to look like The Onion when I’m writing about real things?!
Some days the anti-feminists just make it too easy.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll day it again: MensNewsDaily just keeps giving and giving. (Remember the fart button?)
Today, we are treated to Grooms For Life, or as Vanessa at Feministing (who gets the hat tip) says, “The pro-life prince has arrived.”
Is there a way to radically decrease abortions without asking the government to do it? Adoption is often suggested here and that is a good alternative but I think there is another as well.Now don’t start protesting Denise Noe’s spectacular idea just yet. She knows there are going to be objections. Two, in fact.
Marriage. I am not talking just about a return to the “shotgun marriage”; rather, I think an offer of marriage from a man who is not the father but will assume all the traditional responsibilities of fatherhood would be accepted by many unmarried pregnant women…
Grooms For Life could be facilitated on a practical basis by computerized matching of pro-life single men with unmarried pregnant women interested in carrying to term.
1. “Such couples would not be in love, so what chance would their marriages have of succeeding?” Don’t worry, Denise has got that all worked out. First of all, there are arranged marriages in lots of societies, so quitcher bitchin’, you spoiled American shits. Secondly, “Pro-life marriages would have major advantages over other unions: the men would know they have done a good deed in saving a baby from abortion and, thus, keenly look forward to the birth; the women would respect the moral sincerity of their new husbands.” This is an excellent point. When Mr. Shakes and I got married, he only had the happiness of marrying a woman he loved without the added benefit of the ego-boost that comes with rescuing someone from certain despair. And I had no idea whether he was morally sincere or not. Four years into our marriage, with no pregnancy in sight, I’m still not certain. It’s a delicate precipice we hang on, people.
2. “A second objection is that if men offer to marry pregnant women to insure the baby’s birth, women will deliberately get pregnant in order to nab a pro-life hubby.” That is a big concern, all right. But Denise swiftly knocks this one down, too. “Most women are quite rational people…” (here I thought, Yes! We’re actually heading into pro-choice territory here! but then I read the rest of the sentence) “and will realize that the number of Grooms For Life will not exceed the demand for them. Additionally, most women are pro-choice and, therefore, will have no incentive to abandon their current practice (whether celibacy, lesbianism, or contraception) in hopes of marrying a pro-lifer.” I’ll leave you to parse that one out in comments.
Personally, I can think of a few other objections to this proposal, but I’m going to go ahead and assume they’d be evident to anyone with a functioning brain. Instead, I’ll just leave with you with Denise’s vision of our Grooms for Life-filled future:
[F]emale pro-lifers and married men could spend their time recruiting bachelors to their cause so that the screaming demonstrators outside abortion clinics would soon be replaced by swains in bow ties, holding rings and serenading the pregnant women.
Wow. Utopia.
Friday Blogrollin'
Lloydletta's Nooz and Comments
Dohiyi Mir
Hughes for America
Puffs and White China Dogs
The Daily Background
Silly Humans
Mike’s Neighborhood
As always, if you're not on Ye Massive Blogroll, don't be afraid to point me your way in comments!
I Love the Internets
There’s just so much amazing stuff on there on the internets these days. Like, for example, Carey Roberts’ Twelve-Step Feminist Cure.
Mr. Roberts is very concerned with the “condition” of feminism, which he explains is “chronic, progressive, and highly contagious. With my own eyes I’ve seen bright, caring women fall under the sway of its deceptive allure. They soon begin to speak and act like someone possessed.” You see, feminism has the nasty habit of driving women to radical acts like “refus[ing] to use lip-stick or brush their hair.” He even links to a picture of Andrea Dworkin, “high-priestess” of feminism, to point out that she “doesn’t appear particularly liberated or enlightened. In fact she looks downright miserable.” As opposed to, you know, him, I guess.
So, this foxy chappy has decided that what “we” need is “a massive de-programming effort to help the millions of Gender Studies grads who now endure lives of resentment and barren solitude. They urgently need a helping hand — what will we do? The solution is a 12-step self-help program — you guessed it: Feminists Anonymous.”
As you can imagine, being one of the women who has fallen victim to the horrors of feminism, which Mr. Roberts describes as “loss of sense of humor, self-centeredness, and a decreasing ability to perceive reality accurately…paranoia, hysteria, and intense anger,” and what I would describe as “viewing myself as a fully equal human being with an obligation to assert my right to be so,” I was very interested in going through the twelve steps to rid myself of the insidious, life-ruining grip of feminism.
Step One: “We admitted we were powerless over feminism — that our lives had become bitter, lonely, and meaningless.”
Hmm. Well, I can admit I’m “powerless over feminism.” I mean, it existed before I was born and will probably exist after I die, and I doubt anything I’d do would change that. So, looks like I’m off to a good start! That next bit is trickier, though. My life isn’t bitter, lonely, or meaningless. In fact, even though I’m unemployed, totally broke, and never wear lipstick, my life is nonetheless filled with lots of interesting intellectual pursuits, an optimism about the future, a happy marriage, and a wealth of wonderful friendships. I sort of feel like I’d be trashing all that to say my life is for shit, so I guess I’ll just have to skip over that one for now.
Step Two: “We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
Ouch. So, first I have to admit I’m insane. I certainly don’t feel insane. Lucidity—check. Ability to differentiate between real and unreal—check. No voices in my head—check. Looks like I’ll have to come back to this one, too.
Step Three: “We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. (That’s right, Him. Now’s the time to get rid of that Wiccan broomstick stashed in your closet.)”
Hey—I never got a Wiccan broomstick! My Feminist Welcome Basket only came with a block of tofu, a tin language police badge, and a copy of Body Hair Beautiful. Damn it! I totally got screwed.
Step Four: “We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. (Hint: Humility is the first step in the path to self-awareness.)”
Now I’m confused. This was also Step Four in the Feminist Introductory course.
Step Five: “We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”
Um…Jesus? I don’t wear lipstick. I’m sorry. (That one was a total home run!)
Step Six: “We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character — despite the self-professed good intentions of Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem.”
I’m ready, God. I’m waiting… Still waiting… drums fingers Yup, still waiting… Okay, God isn’t paying any attention to me. I still feel as though I should get equal pay for equal work and have the last word on my own bodily autonomy. I’ll come back to this one when God’s done fixing Africa.
Step Seven: “We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”
That sounds a lot like Step Six. But that’s probably just my feminism talking. I’m sure I’ll understand the nuance once the evils of feminism have been scourged from my being. You know, after Step Twelve.
Step Eight: “We made a list of all men and women we had harmed, living and unborn, and became willing to make amends to them. (Practice saying, “I’m sorry” in front of the mirror each morning.)”
Maybe it’s because I never got my Wiccan broomstick, but I’m starting to think that I’m not a real feminist or something. Because I’ve been apologizing to people I hurt for, like, my whole life. I always thought it was because that’s what decent people do, but I guess it’s just because I never got my broomstick. Come to think of it, most of the feminists I know apologize if they hurt someone. I’m going to have to check their closets.
Step Nine: “We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would be impossible, or would injure them or others.”
See, now this sounds a lot like Step Eight. Oh, wait. I see. Step Eight was about becoming willing to make amends, and this one is about actually doing it. I see. Now that practicing in the mirror thing makes more sense.
Step Ten: “We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. (If you haven’t already taken your name off the Feminist Majority alert list, do it now.)”
Wow. There are a lot of steps about admitting how wrong I’ve been. It seems like it would be a lot simpler if Mr. Roberts just made one step suggesting I flagellate myself—one snap of the whip for every evil feminist thought I’d ever had, or something. Maybe he could offer a little brand I could sink into my flesh for each day I haven’t worn lipstick.
Step Eleven: “We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”
Fuck, you know, I’m starting to think I need to do some twelve step program for atheism first, if this whole ridding-myself-of-feminism thing is ever going to work.
Step Twelve: “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to feminists, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”
scrolls back up … Um, what message? What principles? As far as I can tell, I’m basically supposed to tell everyone my life is total rubbish because I’m a feminist (which isn’t true), apologize to people if I do something wrong by them (which I already do), and give my life over to God—who, per Mr. Roberts’ explanation of how feminism controls every aspect of my life, seems to simply be a male replacement for doing all my thinking for me. Oh, and start wearing lipstick.
Color me a hopeless case. I’m still a darn feminist.
And I want my broom!
(Hat tip to Punkass Marc, who’s got his own great post on Roberts’ 12-steppin’.)
Could Congress suck any harder?
As a follow-up to Spudsy’s post last Thursday, the renewal of the Voting Rights Act is still being held up by Republicans—who are now not just complaining about bilingual ballots, but also moaning about “whether hearings should examine the impact of this week's Supreme Court ruling on Texas redistricting.” Key parts of the Act will expire next year if Congress doesn’t act to renew it.
House Majority Leader John Boehner, an Ohio Republican, said Congress would return to the matter after a weeklong July 4 recess. Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, a California Democrat, said party members were "holding our fire and patiently waiting for the Republicans to work out their politics."What a swell idea! This is why I’m not a member of Congress—because if I were, I’d do something completely insane like stick my ugly mug in front of every camera I could find to inform the American public that the GOP is trying to make political hay out of something as fundamental as the right to vote, grabbing at any straw they can find to try to undermine the renewal of legislation that (ostensibly) guarantees fair elections. I’d probably also go batshit crazy and use that opportunity to attach the GOP’s contempt of voting rights to Speaker Hastert’s refusal to bring to a vote Congressman Holt's Voter Confidence and Increased Accessibility Act, even though it has 192 co-sponsors. That’s just how crazy I am.
But “patiently waiting for the Republicans to work out their politics” sounds like a much better idea.
WTF????
U.S. Troops Accused of Killing Iraq Family
BEIJI, Iraq - Five U.S. Army soldiers are being investigated for allegedly raping a young woman, then killing her and three members of her family in Iraq, a U.S. military official told The Associated Press on Friday.Good lord.
The soldiers also allegedly burned the body of the woman they are accused of raping.
[...]
There is no indication what led soldiers to this home. The investigation just cracked open. We're just beginning to dig into the details."
However, a U.S. official close to the investigation said at least one of the soldiers, all assigned to the 502nd Infantry Regiment, has admitted his role and has been arrested. Two soldiers from the same regiment were slain this month when they were kidnapped at a checkpoint near Youssifiyah.
Question of the Day
Do you believe in ghosts (or spirits, or whatever your preferred term)? Does your belief or lack of belief in ghosts correlate with religious belief? Ever had any experiences with ghosts, or something awfully strange you can't explain in that general area?
My answers are no, no, and yes. One of my aunts was much older than her husband (my dad's brother). She'd had a previous husband who died, and she and my uncle both believed he haunted their house. We'd be sitting in the living room downstairs, and it would sound like there was someone stomping back and forth across the floor upstairs, even though no one was up there. My aunt would yell up to him, "Knock it off! You're bein' agitatin'!" and then it would stop. I always found it rather amusing, and completely unexplainable.
