If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one ability or quality (actual, not superhero), what would it be?
Your Tax Dollars at Work
Tonight is the annual Congressional Picnic on the South Lawn.
The Menu:
Display of Seasonal Raw Vegetables with Assorted Dips
Three Colors of Tortilla Chips with Guacamole and Bean Dip
Taquito Bar
Crisp Bibb Lettuce and Cucumber Salad with Helen Corbitt Poppy Seed Dressing
The Ultimate Potato Salad with Juniper and Buttermilk
Steak Fry with Homemade Barbeque Sauce on the Side
Garlicky Fried Chicken
A Pile of Grilled Shrimp
Rodeo Corn-on-the-Cob
Grilled Heirloom Fried Tomatoes
Mexican Confetti Rice
Toasted Jalapeño Blue Corn Bread served with Honey Butter
Peach and Blackberry Cobbler with Vanilla Ice Cream
Lemon Daisy Cupcakes
Texas Bluebell Ice Cream Cones
Decorated Sugar Cookies
Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Some of those menu items seem a little too “south of the border” for comfort. I mean, what’s next? Singing the National Anthem in Spanish? And the rest are so…elitist. I mean, some of that shit practically sounds French. Where the fuck are the hotdogs and ambrosia salad? Peach and blackberry cobbler?! What’s wrong with good, old-fashioned American apple pie, huh?
At least the entertainment sounds good. Darn the luck that I’m not a member of Congress, so I’ll have to miss out on “The Compassionates,” featuring White House Chief of Staff Josh Bolten on guitar.
Actual Headline
Cleric Calls on Bush to Convert to Islam. Yeah, good luck with all that. He won’t even covert to Christianity, and he already claims to be a Christian.
If I were Ann Coulter…
…when I read that the Tyrannosaurus of Turpitude had said this…
We in this Congress must show the same steely resolve as those men and women on United flight 93, the same sense of duty as the first responders who headed up the stairs of the Twin Towers.…on the floor of the House today to “encourag[e] his colleagues to vote for the sham Iraq resolution,” I would have immediately exclaimed, “I have never seen a Speaker of the House enjoy American civilians’ deaths so much!”
Of course, I’m not Ann Coulter, so instead I will just say: Mr. Hastert, 9/11 and the Iraq War have nothing to do with one another. Have you no sense of decency, you steaming pile of execrable pig shit? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?
Help name Shaker Jaclyn’s new kitty!
Awwww. Look at that face!
Shaker Jaclyn emailed me with the request that the Shakers help name her newest addition to the family. “The hubby and I have been fostering this little sweetie for a month now. I helped pull her out from under a truck in our parking lot at work. From conversations with other people who had seen her previously, we have determined that she had hitched rides under trucks at least three times. She's very resourceful.
Well, we're in the south. This time of year in particular, there are oodles of homeless kittens. So we haven't found her a home, and now we're getting rather attached. Looks like she'll become the fourth kitty in the house. But we haven't found a good name.”
So what have you got, Shakers?
(You can see a picture of Jaclyn’s very handsome Morris, one of Unnamed Kitty’s feline companions, here.)
Damn Immigrants
See, this is why we need to build a wall along the border. Oh, wait. This guy is a legal immigrant with lilywhite skin? Hmm.
A former Nazi officer living on a Wisconsin farm has built a memorial to Adolf Hitler in his bunker-like tractor storage shed, much to the chagrin of local officials.Locals are concerned that Junker’s Bunker o’ White Supremacy will become a tourist destination for racist nutwits. All I can say is: He’s 87. Hopefully, he’ll die soon, preferably sans any heirs who have an interest in keeping the Ode to Hitler Museum open for business.
A court order was being sought to stop Ted Junker, 87, from opening to visitors a 30- by 50-foot (9- by 15-meter) concrete building that he has spent $200,000 outfitting with photos of Hitler, a swastika-emblazoned flag and other items…
Junker, who came to the United States in 1955 and worked as a janitor in Chicago before buying his farm, has told local media that he believes Hitler was a great leader who is misunderstood. He said he joined the Nazi SS in 1940 and served on the Russian front in World War Two.
Staying the Course
I’m so shocked. “The Senate rejected a call for the withdrawal of U.S. combat forces from Iraq by year's end on Thursday as Congress erupted in impassioned, election-year debate over a conflict that now has claimed the lives of 2,500 American troops.”
The proposal suggested leaving “only forced that are critical to completing the mission of standing up Iraqi security forces” in Iraq until 2007, but Republicans argued that the war is “key to winning the global struggle against terrorism.” So what if it is? (Even though it isn’t.) How does slowly minimizing our troop strength, thereby signaling we don’t intend to be a permanent occupying force, undermine the war?
Congress has become a giant asylum for the criminally insane where we pay the interned hefty fees to take us all down with them.
Great post by Daou
It's hard to deny that Coulter's words border on incitement. What she says is neither amusing nor smart nor humorous nor factual nor worthy of airing on a major media outlet. It treats a substantial segment of the population as sub-human, as creatures deserving of public scorn and worse (She said Jesus would say that "we are called upon to do battle" on liberalism). Careful not to violate Godwin's Law, I'll refrain from the obvious comparisons, but what we're dealing with here is a dangerous inflection point in American politics. When this kind of opprobrium is peddled by major media outlets, it's high time that the Democratic establishment and the larger progressive community understand that this is a make-or-break showdown with the media.Read the whole thing.
Worst. Administration. Ever.
Is there anything more fucked up than having war profiteers making the decisions about whether we go to war? I think not.
Homobigots won’t throw in the towel
Having been, once again, roundly trounced in their efforts to pass a Constitutional amendment banning gay marriage through the traditional methods, now “the religious right is considering appealing to state legislatures to call a Constitutional Convention under an obscure provision of Article 5 that would allow amendments to the Constitution without congressional approval.”
Meeting after the big failure at the offices of the social-conservative Family Research Council, the top leaders of the marriage movement — Catholic, Protestant and Mormon leaders among others — discussed the possibility of an unprecedented Constitutional Convention. Two-thirds (34) of the state legislatures would have to call for such a convention — which could be done only with great difficulty. Even then, no one knows what such a convention would look like or what sort of amendments could result from it.Robert
Nonetheless, the discussion among leading homobigots casts into stark relief two big issues.
1. The people who support this shit are totally batshit bonkers and will stop at nothing to permanently relegate the LGBT community to second-class citizenship. After all their wailing about activist judges, here they are trying to find a way to circumvent the legislature after it didn’t deliver unto them the Constitutional amendment they so fervently desire, even after routinely asserting that the legislature was the only acceptable method for resolving the issue. They are vile, hatemongering hypocrites, and I don’t give a piddly shit how firmly they wrap themselves in the flag or how often they claim they’ve got God on their side. There’s not anything remotely moral about it, and I refuse to address it as though there is. This is nothing but an attempt to codify bigotry in law—a nasty, despicable, disingenuous maneuver no matter through which channel it’s pursued nor what motivation, earthly or heavenly, is claimed.
2. LGBT issues matter. Every time I read some allegedly progressive blogger suggesting that this is a secondary issue, I want to put my goddamn fist through the wall. It doesn't do the LGBT community a fat lot of good if Dems who don't give a flying fuck about them win—and unless we endeavor passionately and persistently to change minds about these issues, only Dems who don't can win. Bil Browning has got a post on Evan Bayh’s parsing of the gay marriage issue that’s informative of the game-playing on this issue, illustrating the difference between what Dems say to gay and gay-friendly constituents and the statements they issue via their spokespeople, and how ridiculously hollow the punting—“state’s rights issue”—is as Dems are faced with their own states pushing a gay marriage ban.
Look, the problem here is wrapped up in the phrase “I don’t care what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom.” Great. Bully for you. But being gay isn’t just about fucking someone who’s the same sex you are. Do you care about two consenting adults being denied the same rights you are conferred simply by virtue of your (unchosen) sexuality? Do you care about two consenting adults being denied the opportunity to visit each other in the hospital? Do you care about two consenting adults being able to raise children together as equal co-parents, being allowed to give homes to unwanted children, being able to not worry about who’s designated the next of kin upon their deaths?
Do you care about the fact that millions of consenting adults are being denied lots and lots of rights that you take for granted every bloody day?
This is a civil rights issue.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. “In 1948, the Democratic Party found itself divided over the issue of racial integration. Democrats, primarily of a southern persuasion, who supported Jim Crow laws formed a short-lived splinter group known as the States’ Rights Democratic Party, the charming slogan of which was Segregation Forever! Its members were known as the Dixiecrats. …Democrats who refuse to support equal rights for gays, including gay marriage rights, are the modern equivalent of the Dixiecrats, although a more appropriate portmanteau for these socially conservative Dems is Phobocrats, since their bigotry isn’t contained by region. (Unfortunately, homophobia is to be found everywhere.)”
The religious extremists have staked out their position on the right of this issue, and I’m staking out my position on the left—the uncompromising support of the LGBT community in their fight for full equality. Now is not the time to relegate LGBT issues to the back burner, as the wingnuts’ campaign escalates. Anyone who argues that we should have patience or tolerance or perspective as defined by silence while the religious right continues their attacks on fellow Americans out of hatred and fear is a useless stinking Phobocrat—and for them I reserve the same disdain as their forebearers the Dixiecrats so richly deserved.
(Pam’s got more.)
Daddy, can you turn this?
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“Lost” is done for the season, which puts us fans into a bit of a quandary. Sure, there are all these online puzzles and clues to follow, and there’s that Bad Twin tie-in novel that came out, but as distracting as those can be, none of them make up for the fact that I won’t be seeing the characters themselves doing anything new for at least three months. (Stalking Evangeline Lily from a rooftop across the street just isn’t the same, no matter what size lens I use.)
The best I can come up with is to see what my favorite actors on the show were doing before they got stranded in Hawaii. Jack and Locke are, for me, the best characters, but Matthew Fox’s major pre-Jack claim to fame was his run on “Party of Five,” and I’d rather (gulp) not watch TV at all than sit through a soap opera emo fest. Terry O’Quinn, though… that dude’s been around. Looking over his extensive filmography, I noticed one that I've been meaning to see for years: The Stepfather.
Meet Jerry (O’Quinn). Jerry is a big believer in the sanctity of the home and family, but his step-daughter Stephanie (Jill Schoelen) doesn’t trust him; maybe it’s just displaced grief over the loss of her father a year ago, or simply regular teenage hormones, but she can’t get through a school day without starting a fight, and Jerry annoys the hell out of her. She tries to explain things to her psychiatrist, but as sympathetic as he is to her concerns, he doesn’t understand what she’s getting it, and she can’t find the words to express it.
She better keep trying, though. Because there is something wrong with Jerry: for one thing, Jerry isn’t even his real name, and for another, the life he has now isn’t the life he’s always had. Before he came to live with the Blakes, he was stepfather to another family, a family that may have lived up to his expectations for a time but ultimately disappointed him. And when Jerry gets disappointed, he gets very, very angry…
One of those rare b-movie horror pictures that actually manages to be even better than its reputation, The Stepfather takes a disturbing, if potentially silly, premise and gives it as an expert a treatment as you could hope for. There are a few nods to camp (“Father knows best,” etc.), but as whole, the film keeps things surprisingly realistic, and the blackly comic moments are subtle enough that you don’t feel assaulted by them.
This respect for the audience’s intelligence is less surprising when you realize Donald E. Westlake wrote the screenplay. Westlake is best known for a series of comic crime novels revolving around a thief named Dortmunder (see Martin Lewis’s What’s the Worst That Could Happen? for a recent adaptation; or better yet, don’t), but he’s also done more than his fair share of dark work, including the Parker novels, which focus on the single-minded career criminal Parker and his various exploits, and thrillers like The Ax and The Hook, which take supposedly ordinary men, put them in desperate situations, and then turn the screws till something bursts.
It’s these latter novels that Stepfather reminded me of the most of. While Jerry is far from normal, there is a very specific methodology to his killings, and his ultimate goal, the creation and perpetuation of a perfect nuclear family, makes for some interesting social commentary. The Ax is an extraordinarily dark look at the job marketplace, while The Hook lays down the harsh realities of the publishing world, which demands a constant influx of new, saleable product, with little concern for the cultivating of actual talent. With Stepfather, we have the ultimate end of all those fifties sitcoms- “My Three Sons,” “Leave it to Beaver,” etc.: a man who’s so invested in his own idea of perfection, his own desperate need to create a home life to make up for his apparently horrific childhood (we don’t get anything as clear as an “official” backstory, but from the comments Jerry lets slide in his rages, it’s not hard to believe he had a rough time as a kid), that he’s willing to kill anyone and anything who fails to live up to his unreachable standards. His word view is so horrifyingly entrenched that change isn’t simply painful, it’s inconceivable, and one feels that murder for him is the only way he can think of to fix a problem, because he is incapable of compromise or growth.
What makes the movie truly great is that in spite of all of this, you still feel a little sympathy for Jerry by the end; that we care at all about a mass-murdering psychopath is due largely to Terry O’Quinn’s pitch perfect performance in a role that would have fallen apart in lesser hands. There’s precious little “Here’s Johnny” type over-emoting here, and while he’s definitely threatening when he needs to be, what hit me the most was his utter sincerity; there’s a terrific moment near the end when O’Quinn sees a mother and daughter welcoming their father home from work. As the family goes indoors, the little girl turns, sees Terry watching, and waves to him. Terry waves back. It’s a lovely, low-key scene, with no leering or catchphrases to ruin it, and it makes Terry’s ultimate breakdown perfectly understandable. That brief moment of happiness seemed so perfect, and while you realize growing up that it isn’t always like that, that it hardly ever is, who wouldn’t want to make a place where they were so loved?
The film has some minor flaws: there’s a subplot with the brother of Jerry’s last victim that, while not terrible, didn’t do a whole lot for me, and if you aren’t a fan of this sort of thriller, it’s doubtful that the movie will completely turn you around. But it’s really good, with the rest of the cast being just as convincing in their roles as O’Quinn is. (Jill Schoelen is excellent as Stephanie; I especially liked how apologetic her rebelliousness was, like she really didn’t want to mess everything up, she just could help it.) There’s, surprise surprise, a remake in the works, which I’m indifferent towards- there is way too much subtlety in the original for a remake not to muck up- but hopefully the remake will get the original a solid DVD release, and attract some new viewers. It definitely deserves them.
(Cross-posted, just for fun)
Quote of the Day
Christopher Hitchens, on how American dentistry’s superiority to its British counterpart supports his theory that fellatio is America’s signature sex act:
As one who was stretched on the grim rack of British “National Health” practice, with its gray-and-yellow fangs, its steely-wire “braces,” its dark and crumbly fillings, and its shriveled and bleeding gums, I can remember barely daring to smile when I first set foot in the New World. Whereas when any sweet American girl smiled at me, I was at once bewitched and slain by the warm, moist cave of her mouth, lined with faultless white teeth and immaculate pink gums and organized around a tenderly coiled yet innocent tongue.“I was at once bewitched and slain” gets my vote for the best euphemism for “I totally wanted to shove my cock in her mouth.”
Says Amanda, who’s got an excellent post on the article from whence this quote came, “And there you have it, the secret to American global superiority—we have the wherewithal to make sure our young women have straight, white teeth so that they are more attractive cock-suckers. We should add a verse to the national anthem celebrating this or something.”
Btw, Mr. Shakes, who also spent his life “stretched on the grim rack” of British dentistry, has beautiful teeth. As does my Londoner Andy. Luckily, neither of them has ever had the misfortune of meeting Christopher Hitchens.
Retrofuck Jackholes
It isn’t enough that they’re still obsessed with the Clenis. Nope, they’ve got to go back three frigging decades to have a go at Carter, too.
Let me go on the record now with the following: If George W. Bush spends his post-presidency years writing 20 best-selling books, serving as a diplomat, running a national and international policy center, building homes with Habitat for Humanity, and winning the Nobel Peace Prize, I will hungrily feast on Dennis Hastert’s superskanked asshole, delivering the best all-American rim job this country has ever seen.
Now watch this drive.
Bar the door! Blogger approaching!
You know that you've gotten under the skin of bad Republican governors when you find yourself in the custody of state capitol police - albeit temporarily. Such was the experience of political blogger Roy Temple, co-founder of the Fired Up! network of community websites (including Fired Up! Missouri) and former chief of staff for former Democratic Senator Jean Carnahan. Temple, a critic of the administration of MIssouri Gov. Matt Blunt, planned to attend the governor's signing into law of SB1014, the hotly-contested voter photo ID measure. Temple relates in his account of the incident that he was initially welcomed into the reception area, but was soon confronted by Spence Jackson, the governor's communications director and no friend of Temple.
As I attempted to quietly enter the Governor's inner office with the rest of the media, Mr. Jackson told me that I had to leave. When I asked him why, he told me that it was because the event was for invited guests only. I asked him who had been invited; he told me that he did not know the answer to that question. Nor did he have an answer when I queried how he knew I wasn't invited if he didn't know who had been invited.
Jackson then accused Temple of being potentially disruptive and claimed that Temple was a "physical and security threat" to the governor. He had Temple detained for about ten minutes by the security detail. Temple was then told that no charges would be filed.
Jackson tried to justify his barring Temple in terms of credentials. This from Jo Mannies' Political Fix blog at the St. Louis Post-Dispatch:
“He came in and attempted to pass himself off as a professional journalist,'’ Jackson said. “Anyone who has seen his Web site knows that’s a farce.'’
Of course, the FEC has publicly determined that Fired Up! is indeed a media entity, but that didn't matter to Jackson.
Later, Jackson continued to rationalize his action in ever more hysterical terms.
Jackson said that was his decision, and that he had good reasons. He called Temple one of the “Carnahan hate-bloggers…The Carnahans have a deep and visceral hatred for the Blunt family.'’Jackson also accused Temple of having “Timothy McVeigh-like fantasies.'’
Temple, a lawyer, said he was struck “speechless'’ by Jackson’s McVeigh statement, and is weighing whether to seek legal action. Temple noted that McVeigh, convicted and executed for the Oklahoma City bombing, was “a mass murderer.'’
As Steve Kraske notes at KC Buzz Blog, we haven't heard the end of this.
(Cross-posted over yonder...)LGBT Books Burned
I keep saying that the conservative extremists are going to get more violent and destructive as they get pushed to the margins, and hoping I’m wrong even as I say it, but every week seems to offer a new example. Pam reports that a fire was deliberately set in the LGBT section of a Chicago library, destroying 100 books, 10 of which were in the African American Studies section.
From our local NBC affiliate:
Chicago police said they were calling Tuesday's incident arson, but representatives of the gay community said on Wednesday that the timing with the upcoming Gay Pride Parade and proposed laws dealing with gay marriage in the works, the incident is too coincidental.And it’s located at 644 W. Belmont, which is right in the heart of the Lakeview neighborhood, affectionately known by many Chicagoans as Boystown, because it is the center of gay culture in Chicago—warmly recognized by the city with rainbow-bedecked monuments throughout.
"How unconscionable for them to come in and risk other people's lives just out of their hate," said Xavier Yager of the 23rd District Police Steering Committee.
The library has the city's largest collection of gay and lesbian literature and reference books in the adult book section on the second floor.
This was no coincidence.
Area fundies have also been increasingly wingnutty since Chicago decided to host the Gay Games later this summer. Someone's trying to send a message.
Ann Coulter Plagiarism Watch
The Rude Pundit here and here. (Via Gideon.) And Raw Story here.
Btw, did anyone watch Coulter on The Tonight Show last night? She was a crazy mess, as usual. Carlin’s face contorted into an expression conveying the excruciating pain of sitting beside her. Leno sorta pretended to ask her some tough questions, then wrapped it up by telling her it’s “always fascinating” having her on the show (after introducing her by comparing her to Michael Moore). I just can't get enough of Coulter claiming that the 9/11 widows are beyond criticism as she criticizes them.
I switched over after watching Stephen Colbert on Letterman, who was great. Letterman’s monologue including the following joke (paraphrased): “New Zealand now has a live sex act in which people can watch bulls mount a mock cow. Good to see Ann Coulter getting some work.”
What does it take to get Bush to apologize?
The realization that he has mocked a legally blind man:
Wallsten said Bush called his cell phone later in the day to apologize and tell him that he didn't know he had the disease. Wallsten said he interrupted and told the president that no apology was necessary and that he didn't feel offended since he hadn't told anyone at the White House about his condition.(Original story here.)
"He said, ‘I needle you guys out of affection,’" Wallsten said. "I said, ‘I understand that, but I don't want you to treat me any differently because of this.’"
Wallsten said the president said he would not treat him differently, so Wallsten encouraged him to "needle away."
"He said, ‘I will. Next time I'll just use a different needle,’" Wallsten said.
Wallsten said he thought that was a pretty good line. And his only complaint is that the president didn't answer his question at the news conference.
Good for the president for apologizing for such an insensitive blunder. And even better for Wallsten for using the opportunity to point out that Bush evaded his question. Well done, mate.
2,500
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The number of U.S. military deaths in theI have to admit, I'm amazed the Iraquis were even mentioned.
Iraq war has reached 2,500, the Pentagon said on Thursday, more than three years into a conflict that finds U.S. and allied foreign forces locked in a struggle with a resilient insurgency.
In addition, the Pentagon said 18,490 U.S. troops have been wounded in the war, which began in March 2003 with a U.S.-led invasion to topple President Saddam Hussein.
Tens of thousands of Iraqis have been killed.
Cue the Republican spin machine: "Liberals are filled with glee to hear this statistic, etc, etc."
May they rest in peace.
Waveflux has more.
Warning: Metaphor at work
This tale of a lust for gold is a fable for our times. From Jason Newell of the San Bernadino County Sun:
Gold dig gets 'out of hand'Henry Mora began to realize his search for buried treasure was getting "totally out of hand'' around the time a hole in his front yard had grown deep enough to swallow 10 men. [...]
"Once we started finding gold dust, we just got carried away," Mora said Wednesday, a day after Montclair officials fenced off his 60-foot-deep hole at 4307 Granada St. and ordered an end to the digging. "Before you know it, we're down there digging like 14 days, and we're at 60 feet. It was getting totally out of hand. I knew that."
Darn that faulty metal detector. It said finding gold would be a slam dunk.
Once the hole reached about 25 feet, Mora's ladder wouldn't extend any deeper. The men dug sideways a bit, then down again, making a shelf for the first ladder, and room for another to lead them deeper still.All the while, the metal detector continued to hint that they were getting closer.
"It was still beeping, and that just gave me the idea to keep digging," Mora said. "I think it's a normal human reaction, especially when you think there might be gold down there."
And especially when you ignore countervailing evidence - like the absence of what you're looking for. Fortunately, an observer who was considerably more reality-based than Mora took a hand.
But after seeing the mound of dirt growing on Mora's lawn and his hired workers descending into the ground for two weeks straight, a concerned neighbor called the city Tuesday to report the odd behavior.Stunned employees from the Fire, Police and Building departments showed up late in the afternoon, amazed at what they found. Code-enforcement officials posted a red "stop work" ticket near the hole, citing a code violation for the "hazardous excavation."
"It was an obvious life-safety issue," said Troy Ament, deputy fire chief. "Anytime we come across that, we need to cease that operation."
You can be sure that the authorities didn't waste time with a Kabuki theatre debate over whether or not to stop Mora.
So. Is Mora apologetic over this waste of time and resources? Apparently not.
Mora said he has no plans to give up hunting for treasure. But next time, he'll venture farther away from home Peru, perhaps. [...]"When you see stuff like that, you go, `Hey, I may have something. Maybe I've got a few gold bars,' " Mora said. "I took a chance."
These guys just can't stop themselves, apparently.
(Cross-posted with a square-head shovel...)
