Context

Jessica at Feministing found a t-shirt sporting the above image at a site she aptly describes as “the jackpot of offensive t-shirts” after seeing the company’s advertisement at The Onion. She has more images from the shop here, and notes:

What kills me is that a lot of the shirts are anti-Bush, liberal-ish types. And then there are shirts like the one above. Sigh.

Lest one assume the images are ironic, the company is called Prickwear, and Broadsheet’s Rebecca Traister delved further into the site to locate these additional gems:

Some of their other sportswear showcases slogans like "Pull My Hair," "Stop Rape. Say Yes," "Let's Fuck! Not You, Fat Girl," "Those Fake Tits Really Bring Out Your Eyes," "Fuck me if I'm wrong, but I think you want to blow me," "No means eat me out first," and "Sorority Row sperm donor."

I checked out the Prickwear "Fuck You Monthly" section of the website and found some blogging about the crimes committed by Christian conservative extremists. Then there is a response to an angry letter writer who finds the Prickwear t-shirts hateful. "I would really like to know what is so 'hateful' about our shirts," responds the Prickwear blogger. "I think educational is a much better term for it. Do you really want your sons to learn that they should not drink from the red river the hard way? That sounds a little more 'hateful' to me....Oh I get it; you must be a fat chick. I don’t know why you are so defensive about it. I mean there has to be plenty of Mr. Rogers looking douche-bags out there who are willing to plow your fat ass."

The left has such an amazing sense of humor, doesn't it?

Part of what’s so disappointing about this is that the left really does have an amazing sense of humor. Another one of the t-shirts in the “Offensive” section reads Gay Marriage is okay! (As long as they are the same race), which is a sardonically clever way of illustrating bans on gay marriage are as absurd as miscegenation laws while at the same time acknowledging the truth that most homobigots, in a spirit of equal opportunity, are racists as well. Another shirt reading I Support the Environmentally Friendly Hummer utilizes a similar irony. Sarah Silverman’s entire act is based around such absurdities: Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and then the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans—I'm one of the few people that believe it was the blacks; I want to get an abortion, but my boyfriend and I are having trouble conceiving; I was raped by a doctor, which is a bittersweet experience for a Jewish girl.

But Stop Rape. Say Yes. and No means eat me out first don’t work the same way. They’re funny for the wrong audience. The only real irony is that saying no doesn’t stop rapes, which isn’t implicit in the “joke,” but an inevitable (and sad) extrapolation of the shirt itself. If you’re going to make a joke about rape, it’s got to be funny to rape victims. Otherwise, it’s just sexist swill.

I don’t think there’s anything that’s off-limits when it comes to humor, but context is everything. I used to work for a Holocaust survivor who believed the same thing—and the shit that came out of his mouth could be some dark fucking humor, but it was still funny as shit, and he loved that I laughed when others squirmed in discomfort. A laugh signified a recognition of what he’d been through, and that part of the way he dealt with it was that dark fucking humor. His life provided context.

But there’s no context on a t-shirt that says Stop Rape. Say Yes. There’s just the statement, and that's it. And therein lies the difference between the Gay Marriage is okay! (As long as they are the same race) and the Stop Rape. Say Yes. shirts. A homobigot or racist could never wear the former, but a rapist could wear the latter without a trace of irony.

(Many thanks to Paul the Spud for helping me work through some thoughts on this one.)

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

Lost Labor

In today’s WaPo, E.J. Dionne bemoans labor’s lost story and takes the American left to task for accepting “a certain amount of creative destruction because, in Margaret Thatcher's famous phrase, there is no alternative,” and failing to counter conservatives’ labor story with a single, compelling narrative of their own.

[I]t will come as no shock that progressives can't quite agree on a single narrative. The left is united in talking about rising health care costs and the fact that most of our foreign competitors have government-run health insurance systems that take the burden of health care off employers. The iconic number: providing health care for workers and retirees accounts for $1,500 in the cost of each American-made car.

Critics of globalization tell an additional story of how free trade is sending many of our best-paying blue-collar jobs offshore. There is also the decline of union membership, a chicken-and-egg tale, since private-sector unions historically were strongest in the older manufacturing industries such as steel and cars. The UAW's numbers tell the story: 1,619,000 members in 1970, 1,446,000 in 1980, 952,000 in 1990, 623,000 in 2004…

[T]his muddle reflects a default on parts of the left and, especially, within the Democratic Party. Because so many Democrats fear that they might sound like -- God forbid! -- socialists, they are unwilling to challenge the right's core story…

For 60 years New Dealers and social democrats, liberals and progressives…insisted that few would embrace capitalism's innovations if the system's tendency toward creative destruction was not balanced by public innovations to spread the bounty and protect millions from being injured by change.

Meanwhile, at MSN, Jim Jubak explains why it isn’t globalization that’s killing American companies, but “their own inability to drive innovation and growth.” I was particularly interested in this passage:

The other advantage of all this focus on globalization and the sacrifices that U.S. workers have to make is that it takes attention away from how these "struggling" companies are investing their money. While it's trying to close plants in the United States, GM Daewoo Auto, the South Korean subsidiary of General Motors, is spending $150 million on a new design center and $100 million on a technical center near Seoul to develop new diesel engines critical for GM's sales growth in Europe…

The implication is that globalization may force down the wages of "unskilled" U.S. workers, but skilled U.S. workers in manufacturing -- such as those who might be employed in a design center except, whoops, it was built in Asia -- don't have to worry. Nor, the argument goes, do service workers in the United States. Their jobs can't be shipped overseas.

Except, of course, that they can.

Between these two stories, there emerges the urgency of the left finding its singular voice on labor issues and reject the notion of creative destruction. American workers, the economy, and the environment all depend on it.

I’ve heard just as many Democrats as Republicans balk at the suggestion that the government must step in and, for example, require automakers to develop alternative energy-run vehicles by a drop-dead date, and the response is always that it would put an undue burden on the corporations. But here we have automakers reinvesting hundreds of millions of dollars in diesel in an effort to seize a bigger share of the European market while closing plants and laying off workers in America. (An idea, I might add, that seems unconscionably stupid with Toyota Priuses flying off the lots and gas prices even higher in Europe.)

Mr. Shakes notes: “They have no imagination, it seems. I wonder how much more of this cost cutting craze the American economy can take. For a few years now the cost cutting has been piling up cash on the ledger books and the captains of industry seem content just to sit on it. Don’t they have any ideas about how to spend this money? Other than distributing it as stock dividends and bonuses, of course.”

And he’s absolutely right. American corporations are raking in record-high profits (remember the oil industry’s $10 billion profit in a single quarter?), while the American people are carrying record-high debt—a dangerous imbalance which cannot be indefinitely sustained and which the market will not fix. In reality, this was the inevitable result of ever laxer market regulation and the complete obliteration of corporate responsibility. Creative destruction indeed.

The market doesn’t solve problems that it creates. That’s the government’s responsibility, which we seem to have forgotten. Until we’re ready to re-embrace a philosophy of public innovation to spread the bounty and protect millions from being injured by change, we’re on a crash course with an unavoidably ugly end.

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

Question of the Day

My earlier post (and a recent re-watching of the film) put me in mind of a book that I own, (now sadly out of print) and prompted my QOT:

What is the movie that changed your life?

Time Bandits had a profound effect on the way I view film, "stories" in general, and the world. I was ten when it was released, and I don't know how I managed to do it, but I got my parents to take me to see it in the theatre.

Here was a film "starring" a young boy that suddenly finds himself thrust into a bizarre, otherworldly situation with a number of eccentric companions, and he is trying to find his way home. This wasn't necessarily a new concept; "children's movies" had been working with that theme for years. But there were a number of differences with this film. For example, the "companions" weren't friendly. They didn't immediately take Kevin under their wing and protect him from the dangers of his new situation. They bickered, they were violent, and at first, they seemed to be a genuine danger to him. Within minutes of meeting him for the first time, they're threatening to eat him, for chrissakes. At this point, I'd also never been exposed to British humor (my first viewing of Monty Python would come about a year later), so the fact that I could be amused by something so dark was completely new to me.

Then, they lean against Kevin's bedroom wall. And it moves.

Soon, the Time Bandits (along with Kevin) are pushing the wall down a seemingly endless hallway, a hallway that incredibly has the same wallaper as Kevin's room, pursued by an enormous, glowing face intoning "Return the map... return what you have stolen from me... It will bring you great danger..."

Then... the wall falls away. And they plunge into darkness.

I was in heaven, let me tell you.


There was so much to this film that turned my ideas of movies and what a story "should be" completely backwards. The heroes were little people. And they weren't simply comic relief. Robin Hood (my first introduction to John Cleese) was a complete ass. The horrific ogre had a bad back, chest colds, and seemed to have a perfectly normal, loving relationship with his wife.

There was Michael Palin, continually tormented by the Time Bandits in his multiple reincarnations, complaining of "the problem." He has a "personal problem," one that makes him crave fruit. What the hell was his problem? It's never explained. Holy crap... a joke doesn't need an explanation or punchline to be hilarious!

The "Evil Genius," (or "Satan," for you more literal-minded types) was evil, but he also was a bit incompetent. I think David Warner's portrayal of one of the all-time greatest screen bad guys began my life-long love for the villain. They're always more interesting than the heroes.

I could go on and on, but I do want to point out one very important aspect of this film. Kevin has two, typical, boring parents. They're more interested in watching television than paying attention to their son. (The show they watch, by the way, predicts modern crap like Fear Factor.) They never believe him when he tells them what has happened in his room. The type of parents you've seen before in other fantasy children's films.

And then they're killed off.

Not only are they killed off, they're blown up. Disintegrated. They touch a piece of "concentrated evil" (after Kevin specifically warns them not to), and in a flash, they're reduced to two smoking piles of ash. And then the film ends.

No happy ending. Kevin is alone, left to fend for himself. We're given an idea that Kevin has a "guardian angel" (Sean Connery, first seen as King Agamemnon, then as a Fireman in this final scene) watching over him, but he's essentially left to fend for himself. And God left him behind, too.

This was incredible, incredible stuff to me. Right after seeing the movie, we went to the bookstore in the same mall, and I paged through this huge "making of Time Bandits" book that I still regret not buying. Geez, for all the crap I bugged my parents to buy, why not that?

So... how about you?

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

SCOTUS Rejects Whistleblower Case

The dismissal of whistleblower Sibel Edmonds’ case has been allowed to stand by the Supreme Court, who rejected her appeal without comment.

The U.S. Supreme Court let stand on Monday the dismissal of a lawsuit by a former FBI linguist who said she had been fired in 2002 for speaking out about possible security breaches, misconduct and incompetent translation work.

Without any comment, the justices rejected an appeal by Sibel Edmonds, who worked as a contract linguist at the FBI's Washington field office from shortly after the September 11, 2001, attacks until her dismissal the following March.

Edmonds had reported to FBI management her concerns about the quality of the translations, accusing fellow translators of willful misconduct and gross incompetence. She also accused a co-worker of possible espionage.

A specialist in Middle Eastern languages, she said that numerous communications had been left untranslated or had been mistranslated.

The FBI has said that Edmonds was disruptive and that her allegations were not credible.

In July 2002, she sued the FBI, the U.S. Justice Department and various high-level officials in challenging her dismissal.

U.S. District Judge Reggie Walton dismissed the case after then-Attorney General John Ashcroft invoked the rarely used "state secrets privilege."

He warned that further disclosure of the duties of Edmonds and other translators could cause "serious damage to the national security interests of the United States."

This is clearly a disturbing precedent. What incentive do whistleblowers have to come forward and reveal serious problems within the government if they can expect only to be silenced by the invocation of “state secrets privilege” and summarily shit-canned?

The Heretik notes:

THE GOVERNMENT CLAIMS states secrets privilege more than it admits, sixty times since the concept was born in the McCarthyite, anti communist hysteria of the Nineteen Fifties. In most instances, the state secrets privilege has been used to prevent certain pieces of evidence from entering court. As evidenced in the Edmonds case, the Bush Administration is expanding scope by seeking dismissal of entire cases. National security turned out not to be the issue in the first case that formed the basis for thestate secrets privilege doctrine, United States v. Reynolds. What was argued as a case involving secret military equipment and national security 50 years later turned out to be shoddy maintenance of the United States B-29 fleet.

IN THE EDMONDS CASE testimony given to Congress in open session was later retroactively classified. The way the Bush Administration uses the state secrets privilege the truth may be classified forever.

Mirror-image shades of the administration attempting to use first amendment protection to disseminate classified information anonymously and with impunity. There’s nothing they won’t do to protect their dirty deeds.

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

"If I were creating the world, I wouldn't mess about with butterflies and daffodils. I would've started with lasers, eight o'clock, day one!"

Holy crap. I mean, I knew that Bush, Cheney, and the rest of those demons had extreme Power Lust, but I didn't realize that it was this advanced...

WASHINGTON - A top aide to former Secretary of State Colin Powell said Monday that wrongheaded ideas for the handling of foreign detainees arose from White House and Pentagon officials who argued that "the president of the United States is all-powerful" and the Geneva Conventions irrelevant.

All-powerful? All-powerful? Look, I'm not as educated on the subject of religion as The Green Knight, but I think I can safely say that the Christian faith states that God is all-powerful... and to claim that you are above God is... well, a sin.

Kind of an odd thing for a Jesus-lovin' President to think, wouldn't you say?

Not to mention a "Christian" Administration saying that the Geneva Conventions are "irrelevant." I can think of a certain Jewish carpenter that might disagree with you on that, Georgie-boy...

(Incidentally, isn't "all-powerful" kind of a bizarre thing to say? It just sounds so comic book supervillain to me...)

In an Associated Press interview, former Powell chief of staff Lawrence Wilkerson also said President Bush was "too aloof, too distant from the details" of postwar planning. Underlings exploited Bush's detachment and made poor decisions, Wilkerson said.

Of course. Because Deities need not concern themselves with the peccadilloes of mere mortals.

Wilkerson blamed Vice President Dick Cheney, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and like-minded aides. He said Cheney must have sincerely believed that Iraq could be a spawning ground for new terror assaults, because "otherwise I have to declare him a moron, an idiot or a nefarious bastard."

*Spit take*

Well, that was awesome. I like his use of the word "nefarious;" suddenly we're in moustache-twirling cartoon territory. Somehow, I don't find the idea of Cheney dressing up like Snidely Whiplash too difficult to believe.

On the question of detainees picked up in Afghanistan and other fronts in the war on terror, Wilkerson said Bush heard two sides of an impassioned argument within his administration. Abuse of prisoners, and even the deaths of some who had been interrogated in Afghanistan and elsewhere, have bruised the U.S. image abroad and undermined support for the Iraq war.

Cheney's office, Rumsfeld aides and others argued "that the president of the United States is all-powerful, that as commander in chief the president of the United States can do anything he damn well pleases," Wilkerson said.

Yes indeed, Bush does think he can do anything he damn well pleases. And he's been running the country with this mindset since day one. Could he possibly show any more contempt for the opinions, needs and safety of the American people?

On the other side were Powell, others at the State Department and top military brass, and occasionally Condoleezza Rice, who was then national security adviser, Wilkerson said.

Powell raised frequent and loud objections, his former aide said, once yelling into a telephone at Rumsfeld: "Donald, don't you understand what you are doing to our image?"

Condi actually stopped bootlicking long enough to voice the opinion that maybe violently torturing our prisoners might not be the best idea? Color me shocked.

Powell was widely regarded as a dove to Cheney's and Rumsfeld's hawks, but he made a forceful case for war before the United Nations Security Council in February 2003, a month before the invasion. At one point, he said Saddam possessed mobile labs to make weapons of mass destruction, but they have not been found.

Wilkerson said the CIA and other agencies allowed mishandled and bogus information to underpin that speech and the administration case for war.

He said he has almost, but not quite, concluded that Cheney and others in the administration deliberately ignored evidence of bad intelligence and looked only at what supported their case for war.

A newly declassified Defense Intelligence Agency document from February 2002 said that an al-Qaida military instructor was probably misleading his interrogators about training that the terror group's members received from Iraq on chemical, biological and radiological weapons. Ibn al-Shaykh al-Libi reportedly recanted his statements in January 2004.

A presidential intelligence commission also has dissected how spy agencies handled an Iraqi refugee who was a German intelligence source. Code-named Curveball, this man, a leading source on Iraq's purported mobile biological weapons labs, was found to be a fabricator and alcoholic.

But Bush and his Administration aren't interested in facts or evidence. They aren't interested in accurate intelligence or going to war for just reasons. They don't give a shit about sending American soldiers to die in the dust in their unarmored vehicles. They don't care about lying to the American people every goddamned day.

Because they have understanding.

Understanding of digital watches.

And soon they will have understanding of videocassette recorders and car telephones. And when they have understanding of them, they shall have understanding of computers. And when they have understanding of computers, Bush shall be the Supreme Being!

Update: See? That Green Knight is always one step ahead of me.

(Energy dome tip to TBogg. I believe that cross-posts are the future...)

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

Check It Out

Blogenfreude over at Agitprop posts about a British blog who’s compiling a list of British bloggers who are willing to risk jail to publish the Bush / Blair / al-Jaazera memo. American bloggers are starting to sign up, too. Drop them a comment or an email to let them know you’re with them.

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

APB: Scott McClellan

Think Progress reports it’s been 19 days and counting…and no sign of Scottie:

Where did White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan go? The last time McClellan gave an on-the-record press briefing from the White House press podium was 19 days ago.

On November 14, PR Week reported that McClellan was on his way out:

A White House correspondent, who asked not to be identified, predicts McClellan, who replaced Ari Fleischer as press secretary in summer 2003, will soon be leaving his post. “I’m expecting very big changes,” the correspondent says.

On November 18, McClellan issued a written statement attacking Rep. John Murtha’s call for a drawdown in Iraq. McClellan said Murtha was “surrender[ing] to the terrorists.” Both Bush and Cheney had to later publicly step back from McClellan’s attacks.

We called the White House to ask whether there would be a press briefing today, and the press assistant checked the schedule and informed us there was not one scheduled. When asked whether there would be a press briefing any time this week, the press office informed us that there was nothing scheduled because the President would be traveling.

Given his long absence, we’re left wondering if Scotty is still on the job.

Where, oh where, has our little Scott gone? Oh where, oh where, can he be?

Perhaps he’s out getting a Kool-Aid refill.

Image from The Heretik.

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

No, Really, Go For it... Knock Yourself Out...

Write this date down in stone... for once, I'm fully behind one of Bush's decisions.

Bush Aids GOP as Campaigner-In-Chief

Man, it was difficult to type that headline without putting quotation marks around the word Aids. (bolds mine)

PHOENIX - Despite his low standing in the polls, President Bush is working to help Republican House and Senate candidates build their campaign war chests while promoting his own troubled agenda.

The president is expected to assume the campaign role more often in the coming months as the 2006 congressional election year begins.

"I, fortunately, have had my fill of campaigns, but there's nothing like walking into a room full of enthusiastic supporters to give you that spirit, to kind of put that wind behind your back," the second-term president told about 1,300 people at a dinner fundraiser for GOP Sen. Jon Kyl (news, bio, voting record) in Phoenix on Monday.

This is really pathetic. First, to escape criticism and his own failures at home, he runs away for a "tour" of Asia (I wonder how much that little excursion cost us taxpayers?), and now he's out shaking his tin cup for the GOP. Bush is well-known for only appearing in front of audiences with 100% support. Now that his approval numbers are in the dumper, he completely abandons any pretense of getting any work done to improve the situation he and Cheny have created, and spends time moneygrubbing.

Because nothing soothes your pain like delicious applause from the people that think you're infallible.

Already this year, the president has campaigned for Republican Sens. Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania and Jim Talent of Missouri who are up for re-election next fall.

Brian Nick, a spokesman for the National Republican Senatorial Committee, said the president plans to appear at events soon for Maryland Lt. Gov. Michael Steele who is vying for that state's open Senate seat, and Rep. Mark Kennedy who is in the race for the open seat in Minnesota. Both seats are currently held by Democrats choosing not to run for re-election.

Go for it, Bush. No, seriously, please. Go ahead and fundraise for all of your cronies. Since this tactic has proven so successful in the past, there's nothing I'd love to see more than your dazzling presence effecting every election. And if you feel like a little nip before you speak (especially in front of cameras), by all means, indulge youself.

That 35 percent approval rating can only help these guys.

Keep it up. You're doing a heck of a job, Chimpy.

"The president looks forward to campaigning on behalf of those who support his agenda to make America stronger and safer," White House spokesman Scott McClellan said Monday.

So do I, Scotty. So do I.

(Energy dome tips to Oliver and Monkeys for Helping. Near... far... wherever you cross-post...)

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

Why does Laura hate Christmas?

Laura Bush gets ready to punch Christmas in the face.

MRS. BUSH: Well, all things bright and beautiful is the theme this year. I think it will be really bright and beautiful with this fabulous tree. But thank you all very much. Happy holidays. I know this is the real start of the season, the Monday after Thanksgiving, and so I want to wish everybody happy holidays. And we'll see you later this week with the White House decorations...

Next thing you know, Bill O’Reilly will invite her on his show—and she won’t go, the coward!

Full transcript at WhiteHouse.gov. Hat tip C&L.

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

CREW After Dobson

Dr. Dobson’s Focus on the Family is the focus of a new IRS complaint filed by CREW.

Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) today filed an Internal Revenue Services (IRS) complaint against Focus on the Family, a conservative, non-profit organization led by its Founder and Chairman James C. Dobson. The complaint asks for the IRS to investigate activities by the group which may violate IRS regulations and require a revocation of its tax-exempt status.

Although barred from electioneering, Mr. Dobson has endorsed candidates for political office several times. In early April, 2004, Mr. Dobson endorsed Republican Representative Patrick J. Toomey in his race for Senate in Pennsylvania. In addition, it was reported that Mr. Dobson actively campaigned during a rally for Rep. Toomey. Other candidates that Mr. Dobson reportedly endorsed in 2004 include North Carolina Republican candidate Pat Ballentine for Govenor [sic] and Oklahoma Republican candidate Tom Coburn for Senate.

“Mr. Dobson’s egregious violations of IRS code demand an investigation into his improper activities that break both the spirit and the letter of IRS law,” Melanie Sloan, executive director of CREW said today.

It’s completely ridiculous that an organization like this even has tax-exempt status in the first place. I hope the IRS slaughters them for their outrageous violations of an already-generous statute, but sincerely doubt they will.

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

GOP Congressman Busted; Weeps and Begs for Forgiveness

I think I’m just going to save that headline and re-use it the once-a-month or so that it’s required.

Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham pleaded guilty Monday to conspiracy and tax charges and tearfully resigned from office, admitting he took $2.4 million in bribes to steer defense contracts to conspirators.

Uh-oh! Somebody call the wahhhhhhhhhmbulance for the newest Republican dickwit to shed some tears after getting busted for being a soulless criminal.

Cunningham, 63, entered pleas in U.S. District Court to charges of conspiracy to commit bribery, mail fraud and wire fraud, and tax evasion for underreporting his income in 2004.

Cunningham answered "yes, Your Honor" when asked by U.S. District Judge Larry Burns if he had accepted bribes from someone in exchange for his performance of official duties.

Later, at a news conference, he wiped away tears as he announced his resignation.

"I can't undo what I have done but I can atone," he said.

Ahhh, atonement. The magical gift from the conservatives’ warmongering, homo-hating Jeebus*, washing away all manner of sin. Infidelity, embezzlement, drunk driving, gambling, draft-dodging, lying…I’m sure being reborn free and clear of any scarlet letters (no B for bribery, WF for wire fraud, TE for tax evasion, or MF for, ahem, mail fraud) is no problem with Jeebus on your side.

Cunningham's pleas came amid a series of GOP scandals. Rep. Tom DeLay of Texas had to step down as majority leader after he was indicted in a campaign finance case; a stock sale by Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist is being looked at by regulators; and Vice President Dick Cheney's chief of staff was indicted in the CIA leak case.

GOP: 4. Moral Values: 0.

-----------------

* Not to be confused with the peaceful philosopher and anti-poverty advocate known as Jesus.

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

Another Fun Billboard

Yeah, Angelina—you godless hussy!
Is it just me, or is there something mind-bogglingly incongruous in an “abstinence mission” referring to bling? And does that mean that once you get an engagement ring, it’s okay to, uh, engage? What about one of the promise rings that are all the rage with the virgin set?

I’m so confused.

(Nicked from D-listed.)

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

Will the Christmas Crusaders jump on this one?

CNN Money reports:

Calls made to several Wal-Marts around the country revealed that one of the hottest items on the holiday sale list, a $378 Hewlett-Packard laptop, sold out within the first hour the stores were open.

"They trampled each other for 'em," said one Wal-Mart employee at a Maryland store. "It was great."

Four Wal-Marts contacted by CNNMoney.com said they received limited supplies of the HP laptop, ranging from 15 at a store in Michigan to about 65 at the Maryland location.

"There were a couple hundred people waiting in line to get into the electronics department and many were angry about waiting around for nothing," Tim Severance, in an e-mail to CNNMoney.com, said of a Wal-Mart in Martinsburg, W.Va. "Turns out that it was only a gimmick to get people into their store."

At the above link, there’s a video of a scuffle at an Orlando Wal-Mart where, as per an eyewitness, laptops were being thrown "20 feet in the air and people were collapsing on each other to grab them. It was ridiculous."


Merry Christmas, motherfucker!

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

Hollypops

I remember awhile ago reading an article about the stunning and inimitably interesting Liv Tyler, in which she recounted being told over and over that she was “too fat.” It was enough to make me want to scream on her behalf—and on behalf of all the women in the entertainment business who don’t have the wherewithal, luxury, self-esteem, or whatever it is that Tyler has that makes her respond to such insanity with a resolute, “Fuck off.”

Hardly a week goes by without Mr. Shakes or I gasping at a photo of some Hollywood starlet who suddenly looks as though she’s just escaped an internment camp, trading in womanly curves for jutting collarbones. The truly luscious Kate Winslet of Heavenly Creatures and (ugh) Titanic is now dreadfully thin. Joan Cusack looks absolutely scary in her new role as a skeletal pitchperson for some phone company. Christina Ricci looks likely to collapse from malnutrition at any moment.

There are, of course, women who are naturally this thin, but they don’t look gaunt and disproportionate. Their heads don’t appear to be oversized orbs floating above emaciated bodies.

Nicole Richie, Teri Hatcher, and Christina Ricci have collaberated to create a guilt-free snack that is causing a sensation in Hollywood. These NO calorie, NO fat Hollypops are the perfect meal for the gal who just can't seem to get thin enough. Three mouthwatering flavors, Lettuce, Water, and Espresso are sure to satisfy your appetite and sooth your hunger pangs.
It was with both amusement and sadness that I regarded this piece from 14, who runs the blog Gallery of the Absurd. Her commentary on the absurdly thin is spot-on, if painfully ironic.

In the run-up to Batman & Robin, there was a non-stop deluge of stories about how Alicia Silverstone had gained egregious amounts of weight, how the wardrobe team had to refit her costume because she was too fat to fit into it, how her career was over because she had become such a hideous heifer. The director, Joel Schumacher, was disgusted by the press. I remember at the time reading that he said something like, “What is this girl’s big sin—that she ate some pizza?” Eventually, the roar got so loud, he started lashing out at the journalists who continued to harp on the issue.

Schumacher, who also directed "The Client" and "A Time to Kill," was angry during the making of "Batman & Robin" when gossip writers made a big deal about Batgirl Alicia Silverstone's brief weight gain.

"It was horrible. I thought it was very cruel," Schumacher says. "She was a teenager who gained a few pounds -- like all of us do at certain times. I would confront female journalists and I'd say, 'With so many young people suffering from anorexia and bulimia, why are you crucifying this girl?"'

Why only female journalists, I don’t know (where they the only ones asking about it?), but the point is still salient. Famous women who are well within normal weight ranges are routinely accused of being “too fat.” Karen Carpenter, who died from anorexia, famously developed the obsession with her weight after being dubbed by Billboard as “Richard's chubby sister.” The emphasis on bony-thinness has no regard for health, nor, in many cases, the youth and beauty that is meant to be the staple of stars, as apple-round cheeks are dispatched in favor of a hollowed-out look, indicative of aging women. One of the most popular new plastic surgery procedures is fat deposits in the cheeks, to replace what women naturally lose during the aging process. Now, however, it’s increasingly being done on younger and younger women, who have prematurely aged themselves by losing more weight than is appropriate for their frames.

When woman are overweight, there is much hand-wringing concern about their health, but in reality, it’s little more than a cover for sizism. It’s their appearance to which one is reacting. If women’s health was such a concern, surely there would be as great an outcry over women who starve themselves and rely on plastic surgery to give the appearance of youth and health of which extreme weight loss has robbed them. Surely, there would be more concern about the message being sent to impressionable girls who seek to emulate their idols.

After being barraged by negative stories about her weight gain, Silverstone noted to Fashion Wire Daily:

I've never been heavy. What really hurts is, when they say that, I know I have a lot of young fans. So for them to go, “Wait a second. Alicia Silverstone is fat? Then what the hell am I?”

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

A Tale of Three Stories

One: Via Raw Story, I see that Bruce Willis, “angered by negative portrayals of the Iraq conflict, actor Bruce Willis is to make a pro-war film in which US soldiers will be depicted as brave fighters for freedom and democracy.” Willis is (emphasis mine):

expected to base the film on the writings of the independent blogger Michael Yon, a former special forces green beret who was embedded with Deuce Four and sent regular dispatches about their heroics…

Yon, 41, went to Iraq after a friend from high school, Scott Helveston, a former navy Seal, was hanged from a bridge in Fallujah in an incident that shocked the world. Yon had never blogged before but was the author of Danger Close, a book about his experience as a green beret when he killed a man in a bar-room brawl. He was charged with murder and acquitted on the grounds of self-defence.

Two: At Crooks and Liars, I see the video of what is being described by The Telegraph as “appearing to show security guards in Baghdad randomly shooting Iraqi civilians.”

The video has sparked concern that private security companies, which are not subject to any form of regulation either in Britain or in Iraq, could be responsible for the deaths of hundreds of innocent Iraqis.

The video, which first appeared on a website that has been linked unofficially to Aegis Defence Services, contained four separate clips, in which security guards open fire with automatic rifles at civilian cars. All of the shooting incidents apparently took place on "route Irish", a road that links the airport to Baghdad.

Three: The LA Times reports on the tragic death of Col. Ted Westhusing, one of the Army's leading scholars of military ethics. The Army has ruled his death a suicide.

In e-mails to his family, Westhusing seemed especially upset by one conclusion he had reached: that traditional military values such as duty, honor and country had been replaced by profit motives in Iraq, where the U.S. had come to rely heavily on contractors for jobs once done by the military…

Then, in May, Westhusing received an anonymous four-page letter that contained detailed allegations of wrongdoing by USIS.

The writer accused USIS of deliberately shorting the government on the number of trainers to increase its profit margin. More seriously, the writer detailed two incidents in which USIS contractors allegedly had witnessed or participated in the killing of Iraqis…

Most of the letter is a wrenching account of a struggle for honor in a strange land.

"I cannot support a msn [mission] that leads to corruption, human rights abuse and liars. I am sullied," it says. "I came to serve honorably and feel dishonored.

"Death before being dishonored any more."

(Arthur Silber has much more on this story.)

What’s the connection; what’s the point? Hunter at DailyKos, discussing the “trophy video” mentioned above, notes:

And so the circle -- or spiral -- continues. For those with short memories, it was the alleged misconduct of armed contractors in Iraq that led to the killing and public display of four of them, hanging from a bridge... which led to two separate massive retaliatory assaults against Fallujah... which led to a widespread backlash in Iraq... which led to, among other things, a widened insurgency... which contributed to a situation in Iraq in which armed contractors are necessary for protection of private clients... which led to the alleged misconduct of several of them...

Which leads to what, I wonder?

Iraq is a snake eating its own tail.

I’ve absolutely no doubt that our soldiers are accomplishing lots of good things in Iraq, but I’ve also no doubt that there’s lots of horrible shit going on over there, too, by our own hands. War proponents argue that Iraqis are better off without Saddam Hussein, and I’m sure that’s true. But that really isn’t the question anymore. The question now is whether Iraqis would be better off without us.

Last Monday, Iraqi leaders called for a timetable for the withdrawal of U.S.-led forces. Maybe we ought to listen.

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

Question of the Day- Hot Air Radio

Hello, everyone. Did you Americans have a nice holiday weekend? Good. Did our non-American friends have a nice, yet shorter weekend? Excellent.

Okay, I'm inspired by Shakes' post below, and my wiseass response. Here's the question of the day:


What would be a more appropriate tagline for this billboard?

Mine were "Liberals stare in slackjawed awe at the bullshit we spew day after day after day after day..." and "Liberals Stand and Shake Their Heads at Our Willful Ignorance."

I'm sure you all can come up with some better ones. I was up at 5:30, I haven't finished my coffee yet, and I'm a little bleary-eyed. Have at it!

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

Junkyard Dog Still Chasing Side of Beef

Fitzy still hasn’t let Rove off the hook:

A second Time magazine reporter has been asked to testify in the CIA leak case, this time about her discussions with Karl Rove's attorney, a sign that prosecutors are still exploring charges against the White House aide.

Viveca Novak, a reporter in Time's Washington bureau, is cooperating with Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald, who is investigating the leak of CIA operative Valerie Plame's identity in 2003, the magazine reported in its Dec. 5 issue.

Novak specifically has been asked to testify under oath about conversations she had with Rove attorney Robert Luskin starting in May 2004, the magazine reported.

TalkLeft has some info on Novak’s reporting.

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

Back in the Saddle

I’ve returned from our weekend Thanksgiving celebration at my sister’s house, which was exceedingly pleasant, aside from the drive home, which was completely annoying, as holiday traffic, nasty weather, and construction all conspired to nearly double our travel time.

Mr. Shakes: I’m turning into a
chubby volcano of annoyance!
I didn’t discover any telltale signs of a war on Christmas, oppressed Christians, or otherwise maligned conservatives on our voyage, but I did see this massive billboard flanking the highway:


Isn’t that sweet? It’s nice to know our collective opinion is so important to the rightwing blowhards that produce and listen to such swill that they’ll put it right on a billboard. Aww shucks, WIND—we didn’t know how much you cared.

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

Inherit the Dumbassery

A California couple is trying to take SOCAS and use it against evolution. Apparently these people think that since the University of California-Berkeley has a site designed to help teachers teach evolution that is partially funded by a grant from the National Science Foundation; SOCAS has been violated. From the article:

Jeanne and Larry Caldwell of Granite Bay say portions of the Understanding Evolution Web site amount to a government endorsement of certain religious groups over others because the site is partly funded through a public money grant from the National Science Foundation.

In the lawsuit filed last month, the Caldwells contend the site is an effort "to modify the beliefs of public school science students so they will be more willing to accept evolutionary theory as true".

Yes, it a conspiracy to brainwash kids into believing in science and not god! The eeeevil scientists and science teachers are out to get your children! Be alert! They're using websites to train those teachers in the best way to "modify" students' beliefs.

So get this:

The plaintiffs are not proponents of "intelligent design" — a theory that living organisms are so complex they must have been created by a higher intelligence — but they object to the teaching of evolution as scientific fact, Jeanne Caldwell said.

Because, you know, it's not a scientific theory or anything. WTF. And just what is it that these people would like taught? I'm guessing outright creationsim--given their fear that the site to help teachers teach is going to "modify" student beliefs into accepting evolution as possible and that they think that since the NSF gave a grant to the site, this is endorsing "certain" religious groups (read: not theirs).

Here is the site: Understanding Evolution. Check it out for yourself.


(cross-posted at expostulation)

Open Wide...

Shut Up!

Question of the Day

A few days ago, someone mentioned in a comments thread the possibility (for which all LotR fans fervently hope) that The Hobbit will also be brought to the big screen by Peter Jackson. (Or someone else, but I think PJ's got to get the gig.) Ian Holm being a bit too old for the part, who would you cast as Bilbo?

I think I'll get a lot of flak for this choice, but I'd choose Zach Braff, who's good at both comedy and drama and has the sort of round features of hobbits, including the requisite big, soulful eyes you'd expect of Bilbo. I know he seems a bit "modern" for such a role, but I remember having the same thought when I heard Elijah Wood had been cast, and now I can't imagine anyone else as Frodo.

Open Wide...

Shut Up!