From an earlier IM conversation with Mr. Furious:
Shakes: Tell me how dire our media is when this is a news story.
Mr. Furious: Gimme a break! Who gives a fuck?
Shakes: Do you like their list of “cool” phrases?
Mr. Furious: That’s like on Yahoo, you’ll see stuff like "Terrorist Escapes" … "Another Hurricane?" … "Cheney Murders Puppies" — and then ... "Tom Cruise Excited About Pregnancy."
Shakes: So annoying.
Mr. Furious: “Angelina Jolie adopts new baby" ... "Armageddon near?"
Shakes: "Colin Farrell has sex!" "Russell Crowe throws things!"
Mr. Furious: "Is global warming bad? Take our poll."
Shakes: “Did dinosaurs go to church? Some scientists say yes; others disagree."
Mr. Furious: "Jesus invented Post-Its, intelligent design experts say."
Shakes: "GOP proposes amendment declaring earth flat. Dems divided."
Mr. Furious: “Terry Schiavo's parents claim to hear her move - file one last appeal"
Shakes: "Oprah gives audience members free brain transplants." ... "Oprah's ratings plummet."
Mr. Furious: "Woman sees Jesus in her diaphragm - makes $100,000 on eBay."
Shakes: "Columbian druglords drop freshly rehabbed Kate Moss from advertising campaign."
Shakes: "Bush administration captures al-Qaida second in command for 97th time."
Mr. Furious: “Second in command escapes for the 96th time."
Sigh.
Important News Items
Scotty's Gonna Snap
I just read a rumor that today's Press conference almost turned into a shouting match between Scotty and a reporter. Did anyone see it? I'm sure Crooks & Liars will have video up at some point; the White House website hasn't posted it yet. Still going through "selective editing," I'm sure.
Domo Arigato
American newspapers are adding manga comics. Cool.
Of course, the only times I’ve read newspaper comics in the last decade are when my mom has clipped out something for me she thought I’d find funny.
Mr. Freeze Gets Chilly Reception
Chants went up of "Arnold, go home" as soon as he stepped from his vehicle.
The size and demeanor of the crowd caught law enforcement by surprise.
Schwarzenegger's last public visit to the area was June 17, 2004, before about 3,000 mostly admiring or just plain curious constituents at the Chico Mall.
"What a difference between that crowd and this," Barrow remarked.
He said the mall visit was much more controlled and police got a lot of advance warning.
Although there were minor disagreements between officers and protesters, no arrests were necessary.
As he left the restaurant and headed for his black Ford Excursion about 20 feet away, the governor was showered with small ice cubes an unidentified protester threw from a cup.
Dat’s naht fahnny!
(Hat tip to Blogenfreude for sending the article.)
Convenient One-Stop Shopping
...for all of your Bush Administration Lies that Led Up to the War needs.
This is just jawdropping. I mean, we know about all of this, but seeing it all again, all at once, is enough to make you want to drive to the White House and just start punching people randomly.
And the "mushroom cloud" line makes me even more furious now than it did at the time.
Let the anger flow through you.... and get these bastards out of office...
(But I was going to go to Toshi station and pick up some cross-posts!)
Fox News Accused of Sexual Harassment
The commission claims that a Fox vice president, Joe Chillemi, "routinely used gross obscenities and vulgarities when describing women or their body parts," language that it says Mr. Chillemi "did not use with male employees." The suit contends that Mr. Chillemi "routinely cursed at and otherwise denigrated women employees," telling them to "be a man."Yeah, that might happen. Or she could leave her job for any one of the same reasons that a man might leave his job—a better position, more money, desire to relocate, job dissatisfaction, injury, illness, retirement, hitting the jackpot. I’ll never understand why the fact that women have one reason that men don’t for possibly leaving a job (and one that often results only in a short leave of absence, at that) leads people to assume that a man is a better candidate for long-term employment.
The suit charges that Mr. Chillemi, in a discussion about a television segment focusing on sexism in the workplace, said, "Of course I'd pick the man" if he had to choose between a woman and a man for the same position, because he was concerned that a woman could become pregnant and leave her job.
In truth, if a company is accommodating to women with families, she has more reason to stay than a man who may not directly benefit from those policies. We’ve all known women who pass up better jobs and/or more money at another company to stay with a company with family-friendly policies. (That’s a bullshit decision to have to make, but that’s a whole other post.) Of course, that’s an argument for progressive corporate policy-making, in which I suspect Fox News has little interest.
But God says... wait... D'oh!
So, say you're a moneygrubbing Republican politican that is bowing and scraping to appease the religious right. *cough*MCCAIN*cough* Too chickenshit to take a strong stance on evolution or creationism, you've embraced the creationism-in-sheep's-clothing lunacy of "Intelligent Design." Reporters ask if creationism should be taught in science classes along with evolution, and you're all for it. "All sides should be shown," you crow, and that god-fearin' money keeps rolling into your coffers. Yes, the church is on your side.
Wait....
Evolution is in the Bible, says Vatican
D'oh!
THE Vatican has issued a stout defence of Charles Darwin, voicing strong criticism of Christian fundamentalists who reject his theory of evolution and interpret the biblical account of creation literally.
Oh, no... no, no, no, NO! The money was ROLLING in! Come on, work with me here!
Cardinal Paul Poupard, head of the Pontifical Council for Culture, said the Genesis description of how God created the universe and Darwin's theory of evolution were "perfectly compatible" if the Bible were read correctly.
His statement was a clear attack on creationist campaigners in the US, who see evolution and the Genesis account as mutually exclusive.
"The fundamentalists want to give a scientific meaning to words that had no scientific aim," he said at a Vatican press conference. He said the real message in Genesis was that "the universe didn't make itself and had a creator".
Look! Over here! Gays getting married! Flag Burning! MICHAEL MOORE IS FAT!!
This idea was part of theology, Cardinal Poupard emphasised, while the precise details of how creation and the development of the species came about belonged to a different realm - science. Cardinal Poupard said that it was important for Catholic believers to know how science saw things so as to "understand things better".
An appeal for intelligent thought? Wait, are you sure this is the church? Come on, if these people start thinking for themselves, they won't believe all the bullshit I spew on a daily basis!
People thinking? Nooooooooo!!!!!
Hey, if even the Vatican says you're full of shit... isn't it possible that... you might be full of shit?
(Excuse me while I giggle my cross-postin' ass off. Energy Dome tip to Oliver.)
I Don’t Get It Either
Ezra needs answers, dammit:
Can someone explain the rationale of a Daschle 08 candidacy to me? He's hinting at a campaign, raising money, and now advertising across blogs with a PAC called "New Leadership for America" whose front page is a pledge to bring the troops home by 2007.He’s also made a trip to Iowa, and showed up on Real Time on Friday, where he practiced the time-honored political device of laughing uncomfortably and making a bad joke when Bill Maher accused him of launching his candidacy.
Huh?
Daschle was no peacenik, he voted for the war. And he was no liberal, either. As senate minority leader, he was a sound parliamentarian but neither a mobilizing force nor an electric personality for the party's base. He was not associated with any particular issue, like health care or energy, and he was not effective as head of the opposition. He lost an election to an empty suit and his successor is widely considered to be doing a better job than he did.
Now, I like Tom Daschle. Always have, always will. A good public servant with a good heart. But he had no major accomplishments as a senator, the party lost seats under his leadership, he was nothing even resembling a liberal, he showed no particular electoral skill, and he's never been a governor. Save for a return to the spotlight or consideration for future jobs in public life, what's the rationale for his candidacy? What's his constituency?
I don't get it.
I can’t imagine what he’s thinking. I don’t think he captured the imaginations of diehard Democrat political junkies, no less the rest of America. He seems, as Ezra notes, a nice man, but I’ve always found him a decidedly uninspiring one. He’s Gephardt without the vague hint of albinism that keeps your eyes plastered to the screen for two extra seconds trying to locate a speck of melanin.
He lost his Senate seat in a red state, thereby waving farewell to any claim that he’s a Dem who can appeal to red-staters. He’s been one-upped in a big way by Harry Reid as Senate Minority Leader, which, in all honesty, isn’t saying much—and I don’t think being a stupendous Senate Minority Leader ever paved the way to the presidency for anyone, anyway.
As far as I’m concerned, the last thing the Democratic primaries needs is another Dem hawk trying to twist his way into an antiwar position and attempting to set himself apart by denouncing the other candidates as “too liberal.” The only vote I’ve got for Daschle is one for him to stay home.
Question of the Day
Inspired in part by a conversation Toast and I had about possible QotDs, and in part by a recent post by Michael Bérubé. MB was recasting All the President’s Men (Redux), and his list was as follows:
JAMES CAAN as I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby
JOHN LITHGOW as Karl Rove
LOUISE LASSER as Judith Miller
PAUL GIAMATTI as Matt Cooper
MATTHEW BRODERICK as Patrick Fitzgerald
ALBERT FINNEY as Joseph Wilson
RANDY QUAID as Tim Russert
DON S. DAVIS as Dick Cheney
LORNE GREENE as Robert Novak
and
LISA KUDROW as Valerie Plame
Heh heh. Pretty good, no? Personally, I would have gone with Ed Harris for Scooter, but no matter. The choice of Paul Giamatti as Matt Cooper is inspired.
Anyhow, we won’t do the whole list in one go, because that would just get chaotic, so today’s question will be limited to two, one of whom wasn’t on MB’s list. Who would you cast as George Bush and Dick Cheney?
I think I’d go with Bubbles and Lisa Marie Presley.
If they’re not available, Nick Nolte and Richard Dreyfuss.
(Before you tell me I’m wrong about Nolte, just check out that picture! Plus, he’s already done a lot of the requisite research.)
Fitzy Still in Pursuit of Rove
According to the ubiquitous “attorneys close to the case,” Patrick Fitzgerald is still trying to determine whether Turd Blossom lied to the FBI about his role in outing Valerie Plame.
All I want to know at this point is why Fitzy hasn’t slung his fat ass to a chunk of oak and started waterboarding him. If Bush and Cheney think that’s an appropriate interrogation technique for accused criminals in other countries, why shouldn’t Fitzy be allowed to use it here and save us all the time and cost of all his namby-pamby grand jury malarkey?
Why, just today, Bush was asked about whether interrogators should be allowed to use torture:
"Our country is at war, and our government has the obligation to protect the American people," Bush said emphatically…Okay, cool. So whatever we do to detainees is fair game for extracting information from anyone who is alleged to have compromised national security, right?
"Anything we do… to that end in this effort, any activity we conduct, is within the law," he said. "We do not torture."
Bring on the dogs!
Yo, Asshole…
…maybe you should have thought about whether you could get a fair trial if you got busted on all your illegal activities before you redistricted a liberal county to favor the GOP.
I guess DeLay won't be happy unless his trial is held in his living room with Judge Jeff Gannon presiding.
From the IOKIYAR* Files
*It's OK If You're A Republican. But you knew that already.
At Unclaimed Territory: Impeachment is Anti-Democratic. When you're trying to impeach Bush, that is. If your name is Clinton, you're fair game.
At The Green Knight: Churches are tax-exempt. Even churches that make political statements or donations. Unless those statements are anti-Bush.
At Tbogg (with further detail at Orcinus): Republican? Love to spread lies and bullshit? Can we buy you a drink?
The Republican Party: We can do no wrong. Even when we do.
(Can't remember where I found the link to the Unclaimed Territory post, but a tip 'o the energy dome to you.)
(C is for cross-post, that's good enough for me...)
So Not Surprising
CapitolBuzz reports that the IRS is threatening a liberal church with revoking its tax-exempt status because the minister gave an antiwar sermon during the last election.
Meanwhile, during the same time, the Republican National Committee was employing the services of Texas-based Christian activist and vice-chairman of the Texas RNC, David Barton, who believes the United States is a Christian nation and the separation of church and state is a myth. He earned at least $12,000 last year from the RNC for “political consulting.” During the presentations he gave, coordinated by the RNC’s evangelical outreach director, Drew Ryun, Barton would contend “that the IRS allows pastors to endorse candidates from the pulpit as long as they make it clear it’s their own personal opinion and not an official church endorsement” and pass out a letter from the IRS “explaining what ministers are able to say and do, legally, in their churches.”
That letter explicitly states:
Organizations described in section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code that are exempt from federal income tax are prohibited from directly or indirectly participating or intervening in any political campaign on behalf of, or in opposition to, any candidate for public office… [U]nder Federal law tax-exempt charitable organizations are prohibited from endorsing any candidates, making donations to their campaigns, engaging in fund-raising, distributing statements, or becoming involved in any other activities that may be beneficial or detrimental to any candidate. Even activities that encourage people to vote for or against a particular candidate on the basis of nonpartisan criteria violate the political campaign prohibition of section 501(c)(3).During the sermon in question, the rector, George Regas, noted that "good people of profound faith" could vote for either man, and did not endorse either candidate. He said that Jesus would have been against the war in Iraq. While one may agree or disagree with Regas’ conclusion, it doesn’t come close to violating the IRS statute. (Unless they are claiming that his interpretation of scripture, which lead him to believe Jesus would be antiwar, constitutes an involvement in an activity that may be detrimental to a candidate, in which case, I’m sure they’re gearing up to go after every minister who has claimed God would support a ban on gay marriage.)
So now the church is being threatened with losing their tax-exempt status, while the RNC had on its payroll someone who went around giving luncheon lectures on how conservative ministers could avoid a similar fate by narrowly construing the statute and avoid censure by technicality. It’s only my personal endorsement of Bush, not the church’s. Unbelievable. But so not surprising.
Real Dolls and GOP Hacks
After posting my favorite picture in the world of John McCain over at Ezra’s place…
…Ezra said to me, “He looks like a muppet, as if they trotted out an animatronic McCain. Maybe made by the same guy who did Cheney?”
I suggested that perhaps McCain is actually a Real Doll, as it occurs to me that the owners of Real Dolls and the Bush administration have approximately the same needs—loyalty, compliance, someone who looks real enough but doesn’t ask too many questions, a realistic body with no brain to help convey one’s basest urges.
And I don’t think McCain is the only Real Doll floating around the Beltway. He’s certainly not the only GOP hack willing to get repeatedly fucked while never saying a word.
Cool
This story makes me happy:
A new asteroid is to be named after a transvestite gypsy folk singer from Bulgaria.In keeping with this trend, I'd like to suggest the next new asteroid be named Phranc.
The asteroid, temporarily been called 2005 UT12, was spotted in the Taurus constellation by Bulgarian astronomers, with the help of scientists from Spain and the UK.
A spokesperson for the Bulgarian team said: "We want to name the asteroid after the folk singer Azis, who is quite famous here."
Azis is a controversial figure in the conservative country as he is openly homosexual, and a political campaigner for the rights of the minority Roma population.
French Riots
I’ve gotten a couple of emails asking what, exactly, is going on in France, so here’s a quick summary (and I recommend, if you’re interested, checking out the BBC nightly news, if you get it, since the American news shows haven’t been giving it a hell of a lot of attention). The rioting is now in its 11th day, and was precipitated by the deaths of two youths who ran into a power station; locals say they were being chased by police, a claim the police deny. That incident, however, was not the sole impetus for the rioting, which has at this point resulted in the burning of over 1,400 vehicles and numerous buildings in over 300 French towns, and is now starting to spread to Belgium and Germany.
This is a simplification, but basically, Chirac is a conservative (you can tell he’s a conservative since he waited a week before even commenting on the riots, ho ho), and his administration treats immigrants like shit, especially Muslim immigrants, which is a huge demographic in France (and, in fact, the biggest in Europe). So there is an Islamic angle to this story, but it’s not what many of the rightwingers would have us believe. It’s an immigration and equality issue, not a religious issue. The immigrants struggling for societal inclusion are Muslims, and part of the problem is Muslim-specific legislation (such as Muslim dress in schools), but the bigger conflict surrounds prejudice, poverty, unemployment, and the resulting despair and frustration that accompanies such circumstances.
In terms of historical reference, it’s more useful to think Watts Riots or the 12th Street Riot in Detroit than 9/11 or the London bombings. This isn’t al-Qaida; it’s lots of very unhappy, long mistreated people reacting violently to a precipitating event that quite likely began with a confrontation with police. That’s not intended to serve as a justification for what’s happening, but just an explanation to put it in some kind of realistic perspective.
UPDATE: Holly sends along this article from the Jerusalem Post, which notes that anti-Semitism is not playing a role in the violence in France, which differs from some other recent dust-ups.
The Heretik has lots more here.
Read My Lips: We Don’t Torture
So says the pres:
"Our country is at war and our government has the obligation to protect the American people," Bush said. "Any activity we conduct is within the law. We do not torture."And his administration has been nothing but honest, so I’m sure if he says it, it’s true.
Joe Scarborough was a guest on Real Time with Bill Maher on Friday, along with fmr. President of Ireland Mary Robinson and my beloved John Waters. Scarborough (who’s a former GOP congressman in addition to an MSNBC talk show host) is occasionally reasonable, and he was occasionally reasonable on the show Friday night, but the rest of the time he was a jackass, and was incredibly rude to Ms. Robinson, who was far nicer to him than I would have been in return.
At one point, Scarborough perfectly exemplified the lunacy of the Right’s position on torture. He said (approximately): “First of all, it depends on what your definition of torture is. Take waterboarding, where you put someone’s head under water and then bring them up and then put them back under water. I mean, is that torture?” It was one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard, and he seemed to have no sense whatsoever how asinine he truly sounded. Maher, Robinson, and Waters all said, very matter-of-factly, “Yeah, it’s torture,” dismissing his lunatic rhetoric with the contempt it deserved.
In truth, the exchange was indicative of the positions espoused by the Right on many issues, not just torture—putting forth a radical notion as if it is a legitimate position. Maher and his other two guests handled it correctly, rejecting it out of hand and not entertaining for a moment that Scarborough’s assertion should be taken seriously. I wish that happened more. It’s astounding the number of extremists (Falwell, Robertson, Buchanan, Dobson, Coulter, Malkin, etc. etc. etc.) who have been legitimized purely by nature of not having their crackpot theories rejected out of hand. They have been de-fringed by a media who treats the likes of Pat Robertson as qualified to comment on a SCOTUS nominee, and put him up against a legal scholar to let him spew his madness as if it’s a viable alternative opinion.
When people in politics and the press moan about the level of public discourse being in the toilet, or how divided the nation is, I can’t begin to imagine why they’re surprised. Indulging maniacs was always going to have this inevitable result.
Your Laugh for Monday Morning
Caution: Do NOT drink coffee while reading this headline.
Bush Orders Ethics Training for White House Aides
Ahem.
Heh.
Hah.
HA HA HA HA HA HA *snort* HA HA HA HA!!!
Excuse me, I have to wipe away some tears here... seriously, you're kidding, right?
NPR.org, November 5, 2005 · President Bush has ordered all White House officials to take part in an ethics training program. The classes are to include instructions for handling classified information. Mr. Bush's directive comes after top White House aide I. Lewis Libby was indicted on charges of lying to a grand jury about a leak that revealed the name of a CIA operative.(Audio at link)
So let me get this straight: Bush's team is filthy with corruption, and his response is to send them back to High School to take Ethics 101. You know, because apparently the common-sense idea that you shouldn't screw over the American people with your every action somehow escapes them.
Dear Leader: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is we did wrong, but we think you're crazy for making us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a criminal, and a liar, and a criminal, a liar, and a criminal. It just keeps going on like that. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Bush Club.
You know what I got for Christmas this year? It was a banner fuckin' year at the old Rove family! I got a carton of indictments. The old man grabbed me and said "Hey! Smoke up Turdblossom!"
(Don't you... cross-post about me...)
(Edit: Updated old/unruly photo.)
A Maverick No More
I've got a new post about the loathesome John McCain up at Ezra's place. Now he's courting Falwell. Yeah, quite a zany maverick, that one.
