Shakesville

The Real Question is How Does HE Sleep at Night?

Recently, when President Bush came face to face with a woman who told him that she works three jobs, he responded:

Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that. Get any sleep? (Laughter.)

The Talent Show’s Greg suggested we choose your own answers to Bush's snappy parting remark, "get any sleep?" and offered his response:

Not much. You know what else I don't have time to do? See my kids!! Because I have three fucking jobs. I keep my fingers crossed that one of them doesn't end up doing drugs or turning to crime, not that I'd ever find out in the 15 minutes per day I get to see them.

I also hope that none of us ever comes down with a serious illness, since none of my three shitty jobs offers the health benefits that come with one good job. The debt from one serious illness would be enough to have us eating dog food from the back seat of our car until the kids are old enough for college. Did I say "college"? That was just a joke. I meant "prison".

Anyways, enough about me. I wanna hear more about that baseball team you used to own.

Ezra Klein went with: "Not really. Do you also find it weird that you run the entire country yet have time to read in the evenings and exercise in the mornings, while I work three jobs and can't even see my kids?"

My offering: Nope, and no vacation time, either, you brush-clearing fuck.

Please feel free to enter multiple retorts. I will savor them all.

Axis of Evil

So now that we’ve been greeted as liberators, showered with rose petals and sweets, removed all the weapons of mass destruction, assisted with fully functional and successful elections, and wholly democratized Iraq without a hitch, I was thinking we ought to check in on the rest of the Axis of Evil and see if they’re ready for the benevolent hand of unsolicited intervention to smack them on the bottoms like the naughty countries they are, too.

Iran:

The biggest difference between Iraq and Iran is, of course, the spelling. But another difference is that, while Iraq never remotely had the capability to produce a mushroom cloud, or even actually had any weapons of mass destruction, Iran does. A final difference is that while Iraq is currently engaged with our fatigued troops, Iran acts with impunity, knowing our thinly stretched military resources won’t be in any shape to engage them anytime in the near future. Nonetheless:

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said on Wednesday that Iran must live up to its international obligations to halt its nuclear program or "the next steps are in the offing."

"And I think everybody understands what the 'next steps' mean," Rice told reporters after a meeting with NATO foreign ministers and European Union officials.

"It's obvious that if Iran cannot be brought to live up to its international obligations that, in fact, the IAEA (International Atomic Energy Agency) statutes would suggest that Iran has to be referred to the U.N. Security Council," she said.

Iran has refused to halt its nuclear program, saying it is only intended for peaceful
energy production.

[…]

"The message is there, the Iranians need to get that message, and we can certainly always remind them that there are other steps that the international community has at its disposal should they not be prepared to live up to these obligations," the secretary of state said.

She said that no timetable had been set.

The problem with threats is that, when they’re empty, they only embolden those at whom they are directed. Iran will continue its nuclear problem for whatever reason it damn well pleases, and in a stroke of extraordinary convenience, will carry on funneling money to the increasingly receptive hands of Iraqis who keep American troops distracted from any real threat Iran might present.

North Korea:

Spelled differently altogether, North Korea also has the distinction of being led by an utter madman, who uses our awkward and inconsistent dealings with him as a justification for increasing his arsenal. Today, they confirmed what anyone with two functioning brain cells has suspected for, um, ever:

North Korea announced for the first time Thursday it has nuclear weapons, and it rejected moves to restart disarmament talks anytime soon, saying the bombs are protection against an increasingly hostile United States.

[…]

“We ... have manufactured nukes for self-defense to cope with the Bush administration’s evermore undisguised policy to isolate and stifle the (North),” the North Korean Foreign Ministry said in a statement carried by the state-run Korean Central News Agency.

The claim could not be independently verified. North Korea expelled the last U.N. nuclear monitors in late 2002. It is not known to have tested an atomic bomb, although international officials have long suspected it has one or two nuclear weapons.

If a little bell is going off about how Saddam’s expulsion of weapons inspectors seemed to be an integral part of Bush’s reasoning for his invasion of Iraq, you’re not alone. But hey—it’s hard work trying to sell the same story twice, especially when the first time you weren’t exactly, well, honest.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said the North had no reason to believe the United States would attack.

“The North Koreans have been told by the president of the United States that the United States has no intention of attacking or invading North Korea,” Rice said in Luxembourg.

It certainly isn’t shocking that they are reluctant to take him at his word. Aside from Bush’s perceived estrangement from the truth, which was previously noted by Kim Jong-Il in the tit-for-tat that began with Bush calling Kim Jung-Il a spoiled child and purportedly a “dwarf moron”, it was less than a month ago that Bush was promising to end tyranny throughout the world. If one is a tyrannical leader with an arsenal of nuclear weapons, I’m not sure that a logical interpretation of that sentiment is the sense of a bull’s-eye on one’s forehead. That’s part of the danger of using inflammatory rhetoric when there are crazed leaders of dangerous leaders listening to your speech, too—not just your idiot flag-waving supporters who don’t understand or care that is isn’t America’s prerogative, nor is it within our ability, to go around stomping out any nation head who doesn’t conform to our notion of democracy. Words matter.

North Korea said Thursday its “nuclear weapons will remain (a) nuclear deterrent for self-defense under any circumstances.”

Of course, so do actions. And despite predictions that the Iraqi insurgency will survive for years, the administration still considers the invasion of Iraq nothing but a resolute success, an inconceivably selective vision that doesn’t reassure me they will take wiser action in future.

(Apologies for the slight overlap in Demosthenes’ earlier post.)

North Korea Comes Out

I know we're all focused on Gannongate right now, but check out this news story.

North Korea has formally announced that they possess nuclear weapons, and has pulled out of the six nation disarmament talks. They have cited "U.S. Aggression" as the reason for both their development of a nuclear arsenal and their withdrawal from treaty negotiations.

This is what happens when you indulge in empty brinksmanship and sabre rattling against a totalitarian regime: you hand the insane despot in question a perfect excuse for arming himself to the teeth. Afterwards, it's difficult to come back to them and whine that you didn't mean all those nasty things you said, and that you really, honestly, cross your heart and hope to die, have absolutely no plans to invade their country. This of course, is precisely what Rice attempted to do today, when she said: "The North Koreans have been told by the president of the United States that the United States has no intention of attacking or invading North Korea," yeah, sure.

I'm so glad that while our armed forces are busy tilting at windmills in Iraq, a country that had no WMD, we've given carte blanche to every tin pot dictator with a nuclear ambition.

More Gannongate

Pam’s got the round-up of mainstream media coverage on Gannongate. (She has also thoughtfully provided some of the Freepish shrieking that passes as dialogue on the Right.)

Reading the coverage so far, I noticed that very few stories are including the Plame connection. Atrios accurately notes there appear to be two Gannongate stories available for the telling:

a) Partisan operative with no background in journalism, whose work frequently involves passing off RNC press releases as his own stories, is allowed to be a part of White House press briefings day after day, operating under a pseudonym, providing a regular lifeline for Scott McClellan and making it difficult for other reporters to get answers to serious questions.

b) Partisan operative with no background in journalism, whose work frequently involves passing off RNC press releases as his own stories, is allowed to be a part of White House press briefings day after day, operating under a pseudonym, providing a regular lifeline for Scott McClellan and making it difficult for other reporters to get answers to serious questions. Oh, and he put up a shirtless pic on AOL and registered domain names promoting gay military porn and prostitution.

If the media thinks "b)" is a big story and "a)" is not, that's hardly the fault of pesky bloggers.

Hardly the fault of pesky bloggers indeed. If the administration wants to blame anyone, they can blame themselves for consistently exploiting, rather than condemning, homophobia. I think, Mr. President, Mr. Cheney, Mr. Rove, that was a policy best described as likely coming back to “bite ya on the ass,” which, in another little bit of irony, was probably one of the ala carte services offered by Jeff Gannon at MilitaryEscortsM4M.com.

Mr. Franken Goes to Washington?

If you have the chance and ability, try to tune into Air America. Al Franken is apparently going to announce on the air today whether he’ll run for the Senate seat in Minnesota being vacated by Mark Dayton.

I kind of think we need him on the air more than in the Senate. What do you think?

I'm on My Knees (No Snickering, Please)

Looks like all traces of Gannon/Guckert is being quickly erased from the internets. Some of the commenters at AMERICAblog are (probably rightfully) concerned that by tomorrow, there won’t be any leads left to follow.

So I’m gonna pray.

Dear Jesus:

You created a lot of beauty in this world of ours for us to enjoy. I have witnessed many of your fine sunsets, thrilled in the splendor of new-fallen snow, and have repeatedly called out your father’s name during some of the more glorious moments I’ve spent bearing witness to the male form. But nothing would be as beautiful, as soul-shakingly, blindingly gorgeous, as seeing a closet homo be the downfall of this administration.

I don’t ask for much, Jesus, but if you could just please let this M4M fucktard be the nail in the coffin for this malevolent group of gay-hating bigots, the irony would be so delicious, I would never desire a morsel of food again, living instead off the sweet fumes of the satisfaction that would satiate my every long-held desire to see them crash and burn into hellflames of their own making.

I know you’re well familiar with paradoxes, what with the people who follow a religion named after you not really paying attention to your teachings and stuff, so I’m hoping you’ll find it in your heart to deliver this simple little twist of fate to those who have sought to do evil in your name.

(Plus, it would totally be flippin’ sweet!)

Amen.

Gannongate (Continued)

I was just bringing Mr. Shakes up to speed on Gannongate. I said, “It’s like Watergate, only it’s bloggers uncovering it all.” He said, “Yeah, but the difference is no one will give a fuck.”

He’s probably right.

But as part of my meager attempt to make sure that doesn’t happen…

Kos explains why we should care about Jeff Gannon:

A potential male prostitute gets White House credentials using a fake name, provides McClellan a welcome ideological lifeline during press conferences, and somehow gets access to classified CIA documents that outs an undercover CIA operative.

Outs a CIA operative? That sounds familiar…

White House-credentialed fake news reporter "Jeff Gannon" from fake news agency "Talon News" was cited by the Washington Post as having the only access to an internal CIA memo that named Joseph Wilson's wife, Valerie Plame, as a covert CIA agent. Gannon, in a question posed to Wilson in an October 2003 interview, referred to the memo (to which no other news outlet had access, according to the Post). Gannon subsequently has been subpoenaed by the federal grand jury looking into the Plame outing.

Oh yeah. Remember that? This guy was in it deep. And his benefactors, also known as the Bush administration, have the motherfucking nerve to let their media operatives call us traitors. Well, fuck you, you sons of bitches. Show me any credentialed member of the White House Press Corps with a liberal bent who has a history as a male prostitute (or, as Gannon is now claiming, simply a history of developing websites for male prostitution rings) and revealed the name of a covert CIA agent and I’ll eat my words. In fact, I’ll eat the entire Oxford English Dictionary.

And, contrary to what I assume we’re expected to believe, that Gannon/Guckert is a lone agent, there are some pretty big fucking questions I think this administration needs to answer. If he was just some sneaky little twerp who managed to get White House Press Corps credentials by changing his name, who in the name of all that’s holy is doing the fucking background checks on these people?! I can’t imagine that the information uncovered by a few clever bloggers wasn’t discernible by the federal government. Which leads me to believe that Gannon/Guckert was afforded some kind of special treatment in exchange for…something. Lobbing softball questions at White House Press Briefings, however, cannot be the only reason. If it were the only reason, then why the fuck was he given an internal CIA memo, and who the fuck gave it to him?

Meanwhile, Gannon/Guckert is already mounting his defense, and it is, of course, the one you’d expect, the one designed to be the most appealing to supporters of Herr President:

NPR: "As for those Web sites, Gannon said he created them for clients of a software company he used to work for. And Gannon says his Christian faith has enabled him to receive forgiveness for the sins of his past."

Oh, just blow me, you sniveling douchebag, then shove that Christian bullshit right up your M4M ass. Jesus ain’t interested in saving self-interested cunts who run secret porno sites on the side of their treasonous activities on behalf of the antichrist and his band of merry men. Save your prayers, fuckwit, because where you’re going, prayers don’t matter, and the people who can hear you scream don’t give a shit if you howl from here to eternity.

Scumbag.

Scary Lady

Jesus Lord! Is this the scariest picture you've ever seen of Condi Rice or what?!

She looks like the spawn of Satan and Eartha Kitt.

Longing for the Rapture

Earlier today, we were talking about the Rapture, and there were some jokes about how it can’t come soon enough, if it means ridding the country of Christian fundamentalists. Thinking about it this evening, however, I began to contemplate how far-reaching the effects of the puritanical hold they currently have on American politics actually are. It’s more than attacking gay rights; it’s more than attempting to blur the line between church and state; it’s more than trying to eradicate abortion rights; it’s so, so much more. The trend toward religious values (which are, I would like to note, not the only or even remotely the most American set of values one might hold) is subverting intellectualism, and indeed, if further pursued, will undermine the very things that afforded America the superpower status that these same people depend on to wage the wars they so rabidly support.

Yesterday, it was reported that British regulators had granted a license to create cloned human embryos for research, specifically the exploration for a cure to amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or Lou Gehrig's disease. Britain joined Korea and China, who have also granted research groups the permission to do this particular type of stem cell research. The methodology they intend to use sounds fascinating and ground-breaking, and our government has no interest in doing the same. Though President Bush likes to talk about how America must facilitate a culture of life, it is merely a nod to his anti-abortion, anti-stem cell supporters, and he seems to have little interest in bettering the culture for the already living.

Here, it is illegal to create cloned human embryos with federal money, though a few groups may turn to private funding, and California recently passed a measure that would allow state funding of human embryo cloning and related research. But having to jump through these hoops when the governments of other countries are wholly supporting such research puts American scientists at a distinct disadvantage.

We have always been on the cutting edge of new technologies, but now we turn our backs on the advancements that will define the twenty-first century, stepping away from progress and turning instead to the imaginary tradition of a governing Judeo-Christian ethic, forged only in the small minds of religious zealots, rather than any actual history. The rest of the world passes us by.

It is among these groups of fools that you will also find the insistent tendencies toward isolationism and the uncompromising xenophobia upon which this administration depended so heavily in securing and maintaining support for their “war on terror.” And thus, after 9/11, our immigration policies became so stringent that we are now seeing a steady decrease in international student enrollment at our universities. The wait time for student visas and required embassy interviews have become prohibitive to apply for study in America, while other English-speaking countries (Britain, Canada, Australia) have increasingly made the application process for foreign students easier.

Such policies may make red staters feel more secure, but in the long term, this will have devastating consequences for America…and Americans. The revolutionary technology development, medical advancements, and research that was always a hallmark of American educational institutions was attributable in large part to attracting the best and the brightest from around the world, who supplemented our homegrown talent. Now, we throw up roadblocks, and they find another adopted home to fund the explorations of their deep and valuable dreams.

What the supporters of such policies fail to see is that democracy is spread through better methods than war, and foreign students who studied in America took their experiences home with them. Inviting scores of international students to America has been, without much fanfare, one of the most successful methods of diplomacy ever conceived. As it falls by the wayside, so too do hopes of sharing the best parts of America with the world in exchange for the simple opportunity to share our schools, our culture, our lives.

We have also reduced our own exposure to new cultures through the hand we once extended to our guests. With so few Americans having the means or desire to travel abroad, shutting off avenues to those willing to bring their cultures to us is nothing short of lunacy. The truth is, it was a mutually beneficial arrangement, and we have shit all over it in the name of a counterfeit safety.

In the end, we are not protecting ourselves from anything but amplified ignorance. Too many are seeking solace in the form of evangelical religion—where there is to be found a clearly delineated sense of right and wrong. And while there may be truth to the notion that comfort can be found in a world of black and white, without any of the hazy grays that demand thought and nuance and caution, such comfort will be fleeting.

It’s no wonder they, too, hope for the Rapture to promptly come and take them away. The human mind wasn’t built to ignore gray, and the vigilance required to hold it at bay must be exhausting.

Gay Rights Update: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The Good: Washington

Lambda Legal said today that briefs from dozens of groups urging the Washington State Supreme Court to allow same-sex couples to marry show an “extraordinary level of support” for marriage equality among a wide range of people in the state.

About 150 leading organizations and individuals signed onto 15 friend-of-the-court briefs that were filed in the Washington State Supreme Court in support of marriage for same-sex couples.

Check out the link to see the amazing list of groups and individuals who signed on to the briefs to show that a diverse cross-section of Washington state is eager to see equal rights extended to gays and lesbians. It’s really exciting.

The Bad: Virginia

The Virginia House approved a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage yesterday, despite a warning from the state's first openly gay legislator, Democrat Adam Ebbin, that the measure will one day prove as shameful as slavery and segregation.

The House voted 78-18 in favor of a resolution similar to one easily approved in the Senate on Monday.

Ugh. Not so amazing. In fact:

What is even more distressing is that an alternative proposal, which would have removed elements prohibiting civil unions or contracts between two people of the same sex that approximate those of marriage was rejected. They want to leave that can of worms open and squirming.

Which means, of course, that a gay couple could adopt a child together in Illinois, for example, where both can legally adopt the child (one through the agency, the other through the courts), but if they moved to Virginia, that’s the end of equal parenthood rights. (Maybe not on the child adopted in Illinois—although I’m not sure if Virginia would have to recognize that agreement—but if they wanted to bring more children into their family, they couldn’t make the same arrangements.)

And as you may recall, crafty attorneys in Ohio are already attempting to use such a similarly rigid piece of legislation to defend domestic abusers from heterosexual couples who aren’t married.

The Ugly: Alabama

The first bill passed in both the Alabama Senate and the House in the new legislative session is a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages in the Bible Belt state.

[…]

Alabama has had a law since 1998 that bans gay marriages, but legislators — both Democrats and Republicans — said a constitutional prohibition would be stronger.

"It will be a safeguard for future generations," said Sen. Roger Bedford, D-Russellville.

Sen. Hank Erwin, R-Montevallo, read aloud from the Bible about marriage and told his colleagues, "We have always been a traditional family state that says we support one man and one woman in a marriage."

The bill passed unanimously, 35-0. Seriously—what the fuck is wrong with Alabama?

(Hat tips to Pam and “regular Blender/sometime Shaker” JJ.)

Bizarro World (Again)

My god. Even having resigned myself to the fact that up is down and black is white a long time ago, it’s still unbelievable that Pat Buchanan has started to seem like a voice of reason on a semi-regular basis.

Ron at Middle Earth Journal has the excerpts, and a fine commentary to go with them.

O'Lielly

Is Bill O’Reilly able to tell the truth about anything?! God, I hate that guy!

Go read this. And then take a moment to reflect on how awesome Keith Olbermann is to calm your nerves again.

Daou Could You?

The Daou Report has been sold to Salon.

I guess that's cool, although I fear it will mean the death of recognition for the smaller bloggers that found their way on there. At least I got to be on it once.

Gannongate

I've been trying to keep with all the news about Jeff Gannon, pseudonymed White House reporter extraordinaire, but so much is happening so fast, every time I write something, the story's moved on!

Check out AMERICAblog for the ongoing drama--John's got a bunch of posts up, one better than the next. (He's also looking for some supporting materials to get to reporters, so if you've been following this story and can help, I'm sure he'd appreciate it.) There's also plenty at DailyKos to check out--diaries a-go-go! This post byKatherine Brengle at MyDD concisely outlines the relevant history (definitely recommended if you are only now hearing about this).

And, as always, Pam's got the Freeper response here.

Read Me, Seymour

Mr. Shakes and I were recently at a Barnes & Noble and found ourselves in front of a table of tiny classics—books like Dostoevsky’s The Idiot and Camus’ The Plague printed in what couldn’t have been more than a 7-pt font to make them pocket-sized and thereby attractive to some dummy who wouldn’t otherwise read them. Or something—I’m not sure what the goal was, to be honest; I would no sooner attempt The Iliad in 7-pt text than try to cut an acre of grass with a dull butter knife. Anyway, there were probably 50 titles or so, and after we had finished wondering why they were so tiny, we figured out how many of them we’d collectively read. Between us, we’d read all but 3. (I can’t remember what they were, but I’m pretty sure one was Ulysses—ugh.)

So, the point is, Mr. Shakes and I like to read. In fact, we’re voracious readers, with each of us generally having no fewer than three books going at any given time. There are books all over our house, on every topic imaginable, and both of us have the strange habit of rereading books that we love over and over and over, thereby ensuring that our moans about needing to live 200 years to read everything we want to are increasingly accurate.

I was thinking last night that probably a few of the people who like to drop in here are also devourers of books, so I had the idea to start a book club, where people could all read the same thing and discuss, but I’m too scattered—I’d never hold up my end of that deal. My compromise, then, is to suggest a regular book recommendations thread, where we could all pitch in ideas of things we’ve read recently that others might like. I tend to enjoy fairly esoteric stuff, which means I’m always looking for good recommendations of books one wouldn’t normally hear of, and there are so many great political books out there now; if someone’s read one that is great (or not great) and would share their review, that would help thin the list.

Any interest in this?

Rapture - not just a Blondie song

It's articles like this (linked from a discussion forum b/c original requires registration) that really call to the surface what lurks in the underbelly of this nation and keeps me up at night. With crazies who believe this junk at the wheel, we are certainly going to crash, aren't we?

Oh, Canada

John Rogers has a few words of warning for his adopted Canadian brethren as they consider gay rights—don’t let our mission to codify intolerance creep across your borders. Do your own thing, because you’re right…and we’re not.

We Are Meant to Learn from History

You must read this amazing piece by The Fixer. (That’s the “Below the Fold” link; if you want to comment, go here.) A sample:

I remember my mother telling me about the year (August 1936) she returned to school after summer break to find Hitler's picture hanging in every classroom. She came home that day and told her mother (my grandmother), who dutifully marched up to the school with my mom the next morning. The conversation with the headmaster went something like this:

Grandma: "Why is that little bastard's picture hanging in all the classrooms?"

Headmaster: "It is a directive from Berlin."

The post, titled “They learned it in the schools,” it’s a very powerful reminder about how the greatest changes often come under the most stealth circumstances.

Once you’ve read it, I ask that you read this old post that connects the dots between how close we may very well be to having a similar subversive strategy implemented here. Chalk it up to paranoia if you like, but I’d rather be considered paranoid than be someone who never stood up and said a word.

The Great and Powerful Oz

Reuters reports:

President Bush's senior adviser, Karl Rove, will take on a wider role in developing and coordinating policy in the president's second term, the White House announced on Tuesday.

Rove, who was Bush's top political strategist during his 2000 and 2004 presidential campaigns, will become a deputy White House chief of staff in charge of coordinating policy between the White House Domestic Policy Council, National Economic Council, National Security Council and Homeland Security Council.

Rove will continue to oversee White House strategy to advance Bush's agenda and will "make sure we have an open and fair process for the development of policy and to make sure the policy is complementary and consistent with the various councils," White House spokesman Scott McClellan said.

"He is one of the president's most trusted advisers who has played an integral role in strategy and policy development for a long time," McClellan said.

Senior advisor to the President … top political strategist … overseeing the advancement of Bush’s agenda … developing and coordinating policy on domestic issues, the economy, security, and homeland security …

Am I nuts, or is Turd Blossom now running the entire country?

I kind of feel like Rove’s doing the same thing to me.

“Is President George Bush a Man of His Word?”

Harry Reid is not happy about the RNC-authored press release intended to crucify him, and he’s tearing Bush a new one: see it here. (Link via AMERICAblog.)

Balls!!!