Showing posts with label sexual assault. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexual assault. Show all posts

Hundreds of Priests and Thousands of Victims: Catholic Church Abuse and Cover-Up Detailed in Pennsylvania Grand Jury Report

[Content Note: Sex abuse by clergy; descriptions of assault and grooming.]

Yesterday, Pennsylvania Attorney General Josh Shapiro held a press conference at which he discussed the release of a 1,356-page grand jury report "alleging decades of sexual abuse and cover-ups by Roman Catholic officials across the state." The document "is the culmination of the Pa. Attorney General Office's investigation into seven decades of allegations of sexual abuse by Catholic priests in the dioceses of Pittsburgh, Allentown, Erie, Greensburg, Harrisburg, and Scranton. The two other Pennsylvanian Catholic dioceses of Philadelphia and Altoona-Johnstown were also investigated in recent years."

Video of the entire press conference is below. (I haven't yet been able to locate a complete transcript.) It is incredibly difficult viewing, as Shapiro details some of the abuses, which are nearly unfathomable in scope, and some of the mechanisms by which the subsequent cover-up was orchestrated.


The abuse Shapiro describes is so brazen. It is abuse committed by bold abusers who knew they would be protected, and that their victims would not.

Shapiro notes that the grand jury report is the "largest, most comprehensive report into child sexual abuse within the Catholic Church ever produced in the United States," and further that the victims of this vast conspiracy were let down both by the church and by law enforcement — a truth made evident by the fact that some of these allegations date back seven decades. That they have been failed so hard and so long by the people meant to protect them makes Shapiro's determination to stop this malice, and hold people accountable for it, all the more moving.

There is excellent coverage at the Philadelphia Inquirer, for anyone who would like to read more (please note that there are descriptions of assaults at the links):

Jeremy Roebuck, Angela Couloumbis, and Liz Navratil: Pennsylvania Catholic Church Sex Abuse Report Names Hundreds of Priests, Accuses Leaders of Cover-Up: 'They Hid It All.'
In all, more than 300 priests were singled out — though some names remain redacted amid legal wrangling over the fairness of the investigation and the public report. Dozens of church superiors — including some now in prominent posts nationally — were also named as complicit.

"All of [the victims] were brushed aside, in every part of the state, by church leaders who preferred to protect the abusers and their institutions above all," the report says. "Priests were raping little boys and girls, and the men of God who were responsible not only did nothing: They hid it all."

The abuse "was rampant and widespread," Attorney General Josh Shapiro said at a news conference in the state Capitol. "It touched every diocese, and it is horrifying."
Craig R. McCoy: In Scathing Report, Grand Jury Says Priest Abuse Cover-Up Began at the Top. "The grand jury said the state's bishops had misused their power and enabled the victimization of children: transferring abusive priests, failing to notify police of their crimes, misleading the public about their misconduct, and, in the case of one alleged molester, even officiating at his funeral."

David Gambacorta: Priests Ran Child P0rn Ring in Pittsburgh Diocese. "The men gave a specific gift to children they favored, something they could wear that would mark them as prime targets for abuse. [Rev. George Zirwas] 'had told me that they, the priests, would give their boys, their altar boys, or their favorite boys these crosses,' George told the grand jury. 'So he gave me a big gold cross to wear.'"

And let us not forget that, despite his (broken) promises to meaningfully address sex abuse in the Catholic Church, the chronically overestimated Pope Francis was, as recently as January of this year, accusing victims of being liars. The cover-up does indeed go right to the very top.


I am grateful to my state's passionate Attorney General Josh Shapiro and everyone else who has played a role in this long-time-coming report for their hard work on a subject that is difficult for so many reasons, not least of which because of intimidation from the Catholic Church.

I take up space in solidarity with all of the survivors, whether they have participated in the process, didn't feel safe or ready to participate, or have never breathed a word of what was done to them.

And I implore anyone who has insisted that clergy abuse in the Catholic Church is just about "a few bad apples" to seriously reexamine your position. Because it is dangerously wrong.

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Junot Diaz Accused of Sexual Assault

[Content Note: Sexual assault/harassment.]

Last month, writer Junot Diaz wrote a widely-shared piece for the New Yorker about having survived childhood sexual violence. I linked the piece here, without comment, because I thought it was an important piece, but I also struggled with what I thought was suggestion, without acknowledgment, that Diaz had been sexually abusive himself in his adulthood.

And, unfortunately, my suspicions were correct.


Many people will be quick to make the point that survivors of childhood abuse sometimes abuse others, because they have been entrained to regard abuse as normal. This is a true thing. But.

Most survivors of sexual violence don't violate other people. And those who do are still responsible for their own harmful actions, even if their abusers are simultaneously responsible for the reverberating harm they caused.

And Diaz did not own his assault(s) in his piece. That is a critical point. To the contrary, there is now the appearance that he confessed his own abuse as a preemptive deflection of accusations against him he may have rightly suspected were imminent.

Indeed, when Bina Shah asked, "Do you think he was trying to pre-empt this from coming out with the essay he wrote in the New Yorker about being raped as a child? Like Kevin Spacey's 'I'm gay' diversion?", Zinzi Clemmons replied frankly: "Yes. And so do many of my colleagues."

That preemption also, of course, created a context in which his victims now have to face all the regular blowback faced by any person publicly alleging abuse against a prominent figure, and additionally will have to weather the criticism of levying allegations against someone who is himself a victim.

Which brings me to this: I take up space in solidarity with Clemmons, and the others, those who will tell their stories and those who won't, who were victimized by Diaz. I am so desperately sorry he was abused; I am so angry he abused others.

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Joe Biden, What Are You Even Doing?

[Content Note: Toxic masculinity; victim-blaming; rape culture; fat hatred. Video may autoplay at link.]

Joe Biden was never my favorite politician, to put it politely. But Maude Almighty is the former veep working overtime to make me loathe him even more than I already did.

To wit, via Karma Allen at ABC News: Biden Says He Would Have 'Beat the Hell out' of Trump in High School for Disrespecting Women.

Whut.

Leaving aside the cringe-inducing absurdity of a 75-year-old man talking about beating up a 71-year-old man when they were in high school six decades ago, this is toxic masculinity in its chivalrous iteration: Using violence to defend women's "honor" is not feminist and it's not heroic. It's chauvinist trash.

Former Vice President Joe Biden took fresh jabs at [Donald] Trump on Tuesday while speaking at an anti-sexual assault rally, telling students at the University of Miami that he probably would have "beat the hell out" of Trump if they'd attended school together.

"A guy who ended up becoming our national leader said, 'I can grab a woman anywhere and she likes it,'" Biden said. "They asked me if I'd like to debate this gentleman, and I said 'no.' I said, 'If we were in high school, I'd take him behind the gym and beat the hell out of him.'"
First of all, the solution to abuse is never more abuse. Secondly, Joe Biden was once face-to-face with a man who abused multiple women, and not only did he not "beat the hell out of" Clarence Thomas, but he was shitty to Anita Hill and refused to call three other witnesses who were prepared to make their own allegations against Thomas.

Women don't need men to beat up other men to defend us. We do, however, need powerful legislators to hold abusive men to account and ensure they don't, for instance, get a lifetime appointment to a court which empowers them to make decisions about our lives.

Biden failed that test. Big time. And he doesn't appear to have learned any lessons from that spectacular failure.

He went on to make what appears to be a defense of the narrative that popular guys beating up creepy losers is a workable rape prevention strategy, as if attractive athletes don't abuse women, and naturally threw in some fat hatred to boot:
"I've been in a lot of locker rooms my whole life," Biden continued. "I'm a pretty damn good athlete. Any guy that talked that way was usually the fattest, ugliest S.O.B. in the room."
Cool.

And if that weren't enough, Biden went on to admonish survivors that we have a responsibility to report being raped, as part of rape prevention:
"It's not just on the men. It's on you women, as well, on campus," Biden said. "All the studies show that 95 percent of young women who are abused — the first person they tell is their roommate, their friend, someone on campus. You've got to inform yourself as to what facilities are available, what help is available, not just empathize, hug and say, 'I'm so sorry.' You have an obligation to be informed."
Nope. Let me say that again: NOOOOOOOOOPE.

There are a lot of things that discourage survivors from reporting. Among them is men publicly fantasizing about violent retribution against rapists, which can leave survivors reluctant to report for fear of furthering a cycle of violence. Many, many survivors neither appreciate nor value men threatening other men ostensibly on our behalf.

That Biden doesn't understand that makes him untrustworthy. That he failed to hold a sexual harasser accountable when it mattered makes him unreliable. And that he thinks it's hip to wax tough about traveling back in time to beat up Donald Trump in high school makes him a fucking joke.

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Today in Rape Culture

[Content Note: Rape culture; descriptions of sexual harassment and/or assault; rape apologia.]

A bunch of new allegations late yesterday and this morning...

Salma Hayek in the New York Times: Harvey Weinstein Is My Monster, Too.

I was so excited to work with him and that company. In my naïveté, I thought my dream had come true. He had validated the last 14 years of my life. He had taken a chance on me — a nobody. He had said yes.

Little did I know it would become my turn to say no.

No to opening the door to him at all hours of the night, hotel after hotel, location after location, where he would show up unexpectedly, including one location where I was doing a movie he wasn't even involved with.

No to me taking a shower with him. No to letting him watch me take a shower. No to letting him give me a massage. No to letting a naked friend of his give me a massage. No to letting him give me oral sex. No to my getting naked with another woman. No, no, no, no, no… And with every refusal came Harvey's Machiavellian rage.

I don't think he hated anything more than the word "no."
Catherine Pearson, Emma Gray, and Alanna Vagianos at the Huffington Post: A Running List of the Women Who've Accused Donald Trump of Sexual Misconduct. "These allegations span more than three decades, from the early 1980s to 2013... Trump and his administration have repeatedly denied all of the accusations, most recently tweeting that women he didn't know were making 'false accusations.' In October 2017, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders suggested that all of Trump's accusers were lying."

Daniel Holloway at Variety: PBS Suspends Tavis Smiley Following Sexual Misconduct Investigation. "PBS has suspended late-night talk show Tavis Smiley amid misconduct allegations against its host and namesake. ...The investigation found credible allegations that Smiley had engaged in sexual relationships with multiple subordinates, sources said. Some witnesses interviewed expressed concern that their employment status was linked to the status of a sexual relationship with Smiley. In general, witnesses described Smiley as creating a verbally abusive and threatening environment that went beyond what could be expected in a typical high-pressure work environment. Several expressed concerns about retaliation."

Joe Coscarelli and Melena Ryzik at the New York Times: Music Mogul Russell Simmons Is Accused of Rape by 3 Women. "In recent interviews, four women spoke on the record about a pattern of violent sexual behavior by Mr. Simmons, disclosing incidents from 1988 to 2014. Three of the women say that he raped them. In each case, numerous friends and associates said they were told of the incidents at the time. The women said they were inspired to come forward in the aftermath of the accusations against Harvey Weinstein, as victims' stories have been newly elevated and more often believed. ...Black women, especially, felt powerless against Mr. Simmons and his cohort in the small world of urban music, with several saying that misconduct against them could go unchecked because their place in the industry was so tenuous. They feared being ostracized, or worse."

Beth Healy and Sacha Pfeiffer at the Boston Globe: For Years, Fenway Health Center Kept Prominent Doctor Accused of Harassment, Bullying. "Fenway Community Health Center permitted a doctor accused of sexually harassing and bullying employees to continue working there for four years after the first serious complaint was filed in 2013, according to interviews with current and former employees and documents reviewed by the Globe. The Boston medical institution, known for its pioneering care and advocacy for patients in the gay community, paid an outside law firm twice in the last four years to investigate allegations made against the doctor, Harvey J. Makadon, according to the sources. The second time, in 2015, chief executive Stephen Boswell ignored the lawyers' recommendation to fire Makadon, and failed to report the matter to the board of directors."

And a follow-up: Second Fenway Health Center Leader Steps Down Amid Furor over Handling of Sexual Harassment Claims.

Morgan Spurlock: I Am Part of the Problem. At the link, Spurlock confesses (sort of) to rape, sexual harassment, and infidelity — then offers a list of reasons why he might have sexually abused women. I have so many fucking problems with this, I hardly know where to begin, but, chief among my objections is this: Now, if any woman accuses him of any other abuse, lots of people won't believe her, because he didn't "confess" to it and, gee, he's so honest. This is a clear attempt to get out ahead of serious allegations and frame it himself before his victims can even tell their stories. I'm filthy angry about this, especially because, as Spurlock certainly anticipated, he's being widely congratulated for his bravery. Seethe.

Heather Caygle at Politico: Democratic Lawmaker: Women's Clothing an 'Invitation' to Harassment. "A female Democratic House member shocked fellow lawmakers Wednesday when she said that the revealing clothing that some members and staffers wear is an 'invitation' to sexual harassment. Rep. Marcy Kaptur (D-Ohio) made the comments during a private Democratic Caucus meeting Wednesday to discuss sexual harassment issues, according to two Democratic sources in the room. ...In a statement to Politico later Wednesday, Kaptur said she never meant to suggest that women are to blame for harassment they experience." Except, ya know, she did.

And finally, during a Q&A for their new film, The Post, Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep on separating (or not) the art from the artist:

TOM HANKS: If you threw out every film or television show that was — okay, yeah — made by an asshole, Netflix would go out of business. [audience laughter] So that's not a good idea. I think you do just have to — you wait, because this is a long game. Picasso was a womanizer — this is not excusing anybody. You just have to wait and see how it settles over the long haul. This is not a sprint; this is a marathon. And I think work does speak for itself, but character does come into the conversation at some point, but I think that lands over time.
Although she is not in the above video, Streep reportedly said: "We still revere Shakespeare. I mean we haven't thrown [The Merchant of Venice] out and there is no question that that play is antisemitic. There's no question that The Taming of The Shrew is misogynist. Everybody has their blank spots, but the genius that understands about the human experiment is worth safeguarding and shouldn't be touched… People who are terrible also have terribly clear insights on other subjects, so I don't think you throw the baby out with the bathwater."

Oh.

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Today in Rape Culture

[Content Note: Sexual harassment and assault.]

On Monday, I wrote about Chef Mario Batali "stepping away" from his businesses after allegations of sexual harassment. On Tuesday, I mentioned in comments that New York restaurateur Ken Friedman had also been accused of sexual harassment.

At the Cut, Lisa Ryan reports that Friedman reportedly had a private area at one of his restaurants, known as "the rape room," where Batali allegedly assaulted multiple women, including an unconscious woman.

The Spotted Pig, located in Manhattan's West Village [and co-owned by Friedman], was a regular late-night spot for Batali, who stepped down Monday from his food empire amid sexual-misconduct allegations. Like other VIP guests, after the restaurant's dining room closed at night, Batali would frequently hang out on the third floor — an invitation-only space that employees and industry insiders claim has been nicknamed the "rape room."

According to the Times, Friedman made it clear that regular restaurant rules do not apply on the third floor, and guests frequently groped female employees there. The restaurant's employees claim they frequently witnessed Batali's sexual aggression in the private space — and that Friedman knew it was going on.

...A former server told the Times about Batali, "We called him the Red Menace." She continued, "He tried to touch my breasts and told me that they were beautiful. He wanted to wrestle. As I was serving drinks to his table, he told me I should sit on his friend's face."

Batali told the Times in a Tuesday email, "Though I don't remember these specific accounts, there is no question I have behaved terribly."
Female employees were served up as bait by one predator for his fellow predators. This is absolutely sickening — and it's emblematic of why, as Rebecca Traister observed in a terrific piece, "This Moment Isn't (Just) About Sex. It's Really About Work."

This is about whether women have the basic fucking right to make a living — and to get to and from work — without being harassed and assaulted as the cost of our survival.

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In the News

Here is some stuff in the news today...

[Content Note: War; drones] "The United States has carried out airstrikes on positions of so-called Islamic State in Libya, following a request by the UN-backed government there, the Pentagon says. The strikes targeted positions in the port city of Sirte, an IS stronghold. Libyan PM Fayez al-Sarraj, in a televised address, said the strikes caused 'heavy losses.' ...The airstrikes are the first such US military intervention co-ordinated with the Libyan unity government."

[CN: Misogyny; violent imagery] I was just filthy angry about this headline in the New York Times today: "Hillary Clinton Hunts an Elusive Prey: White Male Voters." And so I wrote about it and tweeted about it and guess what? That ugly headline is no more. Now it reads: "Hillary Clinton Targets a Skeptical Crowd: White Male Voters." I'm going to guess a deserved apology to Hillary Clinton will not, however, be forthcoming.

[CN: Islamophobia; abuse] After Khizr and Ghazala Khan appeared at the Democratic convention, powerfully calling out Donald Trump's Islamophobia, Trump naturally went on the attack after them, because he is an abusive nightmare. And apparently there is nothing he does so egregious that Republicans won't withdraw their support for him. Many Republicans are hoping it will "blow over," despite the fact that the part of Trump so broken that he thinks and says such things will not "blow over." Senator Roy Blunt's hot advice is that Trump should just keep a lid on it. And Senator John McCain, whose service has been explicitly attacked by Trump, harshly criticized him, but still hasn't withdrawn his endorsement. The Republicans own this guy, and they will keep owning him. Period.

Relatedly, Sally Bradshaw, a senior adviser to Jeb Bush and one of the co-authors of the Republican Party's infamous "2013 autopsy report" examining why Mitt Romney lost, is leaving the Republican Party: "This is a time when country has to take priority over political parties. Donald Trump cannot be elected president. ...As much as I don't want another four years of Obama's policies, I can't look my children in the eye and tell them I voted for Donald Trump. I can't tell them to love their neighbor and treat others the way they wanted to be treated, and then vote for Donald Trump. I won't do it." Welp!

[CN: Misogyny; sexual harassment; coercion; rape culture; sexual assault] Eric Boehlert on "Roger Ailes and the Rampant Misogyny That Fuels Fox News." Difficult but important reading. "And no, it's not plausible that Fox News executives didn't know about this kind of rampant, illegal, workplace behavior. Fox News general counsel Dianne Brandi and Ailes' deputy Bill Shine have been accused of trying to cover up their former boss' behavior. But surprise! That demeaning view of women has also been a cornerstone of Fox News' programming for many, many years. The sexist themes relentlessly promulgated by Fox didn't spring from a vacuum. They sprang from inside Roger Ailes' corner office."

[CN: Self-harm; carcerality; transphobia] Rage seethe boil: "After Suicide Attempt, Chelsea Manning Faces Indefinite Solitary Confinement: 'Now, while Chelsea is suffering the darkest depression she has experienced since her arrest, the government is taking actions to punish her for that pain. It is unconscionable and we hope that the investigation is immediately ended and that she is given the health care that she needs to recover,' said Chase Strangio, an ACLU staff attorney." I don't have anything to add to that. This is just the most unfathomably cruel way to respond to any attempt at self-harm. JFC.

[CN: Disenfranchisement] "Voting rights rulings could deal blow to Republicans in 2016 elections." Well, that's one way of putting it! Another ways is: "Voting rights rulings will curb disenfranchisement that has been dealing a blow to voters' rights."

Good: "Hillary Clinton will address the largest gathering of black and Latino journalists since 2008, multiple sources confirm to BuzzFeed News. This year, the National Association of Hispanic Journalists and the National Association of Black Journalists are holding a joint convention in Washington, D.C., and Clinton will make remarks Friday, sources said." In shocking news, Donald Trump's campaign has not responded to the invitation.

Fascinating: "New findings using data from NASA's Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter show that gullies on modern Mars are likely not being formed by flowing liquid water. This new evidence will allow researchers to further narrow theories about how Martian gullies form, and reveal more details about Mars' recent geologic processes."

And finally! "Baby Kangaroo Snuggles Baby Emus and It's Too Cute." AS ADVERTISED!

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Quote of the Day

[Content Note: Sexual and domestic violence; failure to support survivors.]

"The negative impact of college dating abuse is not limited to a survivor's academic career. There can be a literal cost to being a victim. I have more than $80,000 in private student loan debt used to attend a school that didn't care that I had been raped and abused. Think paying back your student loans is traumatic? Trying doing it when every payment reminds you of your abuser."—Wagatwe Wanjuki, in a powerful and intimate piece about the costs to students when colleges fail to seriously address gender-based violence, in flagrant violation of Title IX.

Wagatwe's writing and activism on this subject is just continually terrific. If you're on Twitter, follow her here to keep up with her work.

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In the News

Here is some stuff in the news today...

One of the neatest stories from the World Cup is how the Japanese fans, as part of their own soccer tradition, clean up the stadium after their national team's matches. That is a really terrific tradition, and I think USA fans should adopt it, with gratitude to the Japanese.

[Content Note: Misogynistic violence] Strong Support For IVAWA and CEDAW in Senate Hearing: "In an iconic display of support, eight women Senators testified [yesterday] at a Senate subcommittee hearing in support of the need to take action against violence against women globally. Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA), Chair of the Senate Foreign Relations Subcommittee on International Operations and Organizations, Human Rights, Democracy, and Global Women's Issues, made clear that to fully address violence against women the Senate must pass the International Violence Against Women Act (IVAWA) and ratify the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW). Testifying at the hearing [yesterday] were Senators Tammy Baldwin (D-WI), Heidi Heitkamp (D-ND), Mazie Hirono (D-HI), Amy Klobuchar (D-MN), Patty Murray (D-WA), Debbie Stabenow (D-MI), and Elizabeth Warren (D-MA). ...The committee room was standing room only, packed with women leaders and activists, and a long line of supporters... The hearing, entitled 'Combating Violence and Discrimination Against Women: A Global Call to Action,' focused on the epidemic of violence against women around the world, and called on the Senate to take action on two tools to help reduce violence and advance the status of women: IVAWA and CEDAW."

[CN: Rape culture] Relatedly: "Law enforcement officers and campus administrators need better training in how to interview and assist students who report sexual assaults on college campuses. That was the takeaway on Monday from the final installment of three roundtable discussions on Capitol Hill about how to address the problem of campus sexual assaults. 'We are having way too many interviews of sexual assault victims by someone who does not know how to do a forensic interview,' said Sen. Claire McCaskill, in her opening remarks as host to the group of college administrators, advocates and campus and county police officers who convened to talk about colleges' adjudication processes for handling sexual assaults."

Here's some good news: "The US supreme court [has ruled] that the constitution does not allow police to conduct warrantless searches of cellphones carried by people they have arrested."

[CN: Dangerous weather] Tis the tornado season in the Midwest, and a tornado touched down in Indianapolis yesterday. It did some damage, but no one was injured, which is amazing and great. Yay!

Chicago has won the bidding war for the new $1 billion Lucas Museum of Narrative Art, which will be built on the city's lakefront museum campus "on a 17-acre site located on parking lots between Soldier Field and McCormick Place. It will open in 2018." Neat!

[CN: Antisemitism] Gary Oldman doubles-down on his fuckery with a weirdly belligerent and sarcastic-sounding apology for defending Mel Gibson and saying that the entertainment industry is "run by Jews."

RIP Eli Wallach. One of the great character actors, and a ubiquitous crossword puzzle answer. The 2006 rom-com The Holiday isn't a great film, but I love Eli Wallach's character in it so much. It's one I'll stop and watch if I see that it's on while I'm flipping channels, because he's so terrific in it.

A new study says that Breaking Bad is the most binge-watched show. I could have saved them the money and told them that, because OBVIOUSLY IT IS!!!

screen cap of Huell from Breaking Bad sitting alone in an empty room
I hope Huell has Netflix.

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Today in Rape Culture

[Content Note: Rape culture; sexual assault and harassment.]

Welp, this sounds like a terrible idea:

10News [of San Diego] has learned Mayor Bob Filner has agreed to be the keynote speaker at a benefit for sexual assault victims.

A women veterans group tells 10News the mayor's camp has just confirmed the appearance. Filner was originally scheduled to attend as an award recipient.

The group has stripped him of the award. Instead, he is set to address the scandal now consuming City Hall.

The woman leading the benefit is Tara Jones, the president of the National Military Women Veterans Association of America.

Months ago, Jones' group decided to honor Filner with a lifetime leadership award for his work on behalf of women veterans, including the issue of sexual assault.

Amid the recent scandal swirling around Filner, the group stripped him of the award. In a statement, the groups said, "We do not tolerate sexual discrimination at any level within our society."

Still, the group did not disinvite the mayor from the August award gala, instead announcing that he will address the scandal in a speech.

"He is now the keynote speaker on these injustices," said the group.

A motivation for the invite was not given, but Jones has repeatedly expressed the importance of creating awareness.

"We need the awareness piece, then have more dialogued to fix this," Jones recently told 10News.
Maybe—maybe—this would make sense if Filner had demonstrated any willingness to accept meaningful accountability for ramming his tongue down one woman's throat and sticking his hand in her bra, kissing another woman against her will, and telling a third woman she would work better "without [her] panties on." But he has not.

He has refused to resign his mayorship, and promised to seek counseling while insisting it was all just a big misunderstanding: "I'm a hugger, of both men and women... As it turns out that those are taken in an offensive manner, I need to have a greater sense of awareness of what I am doing and we will correct that, and I am taking those steps. ...There is a difference between someone who is tough to work for...and sexual harassment."

Giving this platform to someone who might well use it to defend his own history of sexual assault is wildly inappropriate. As a survivor, I cannot even imagine sitting in the audience while he has the floor in what should be a safe space.

Even in the best case scenario, even if Filner is the most self-reflective and contrite predator of all time, I wouldn't have the slightest inclination to sit in a room with him, listening to him talk about hurting women.

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Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month

[Content Note: detailed discussion of sexual assault/violence/abuse]

April is National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month. Did you know that? Yes? No? Sorta-because-I-saw-someone-post-an-awareness pic-about-it-on-Facebook? In any case, you know now!

Even if you did know this month's designation, did you know:

* 1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime.

* 1 in 33 American men have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.

* 15% of sexual assault and rape victims are under age 12.

* 93% of juvenile sexual assault victims know their attacker. (source)

* Every 2 minutes, someone in the US is sexually assaulted.

* In 2005-10, 78% of sexual violence involved an offender who was a family member, intimate partner, friend, or acquaintance. (source)

The National Sexual Violence Resource Center's campaign this year is: It's time...to talk about it! Talk Early, Talk Often. Prevent sexual violence.

It's never too early to approach this subject, as the easiest and arguably most important form of prevention is teaching about consent. A person can start this when their child is a baby/toddler:

1. "No" always means no. If you're playing, like say tickling, and the child says "no, stop"--even if they are laughing--you stop. Full stop. You teach them you respect their boundaries and help them learn to respect the boundaries of other people.

2. Do not force them to give anyone affection, including to you. Do not force affection onto them.

3. With children, parents often have to make decisions that involve giving consent for the child (like medical decisions). Talk with the child about this and, as the child gets older, give them age-appropriate control and autonomy. In some states, once a person is 13, they have a right to privacy over their medical records and treatment.

***

However, I'd like to revisit the first line of their campaign: It's time...to talk about it.

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