Shakesville: Garbage Treasures

Showing posts with label Garbage Treasures. Show all posts

Showing posts with label Garbage Treasures. Show all posts

Garbage Treasures: Birthday Edition

As you may recall, Deeky collects and saves useless garbage like we're beyond Thunderdome and useless garbage is now a form of currency and he's a garbageaire. Then, instead of throwing it away, he throws pieces of his fancy detritus collection into an envelope and pays money to ship it to me, at which point I put them in plastic treasure chests and put them out by the curb every week to be collected by the "treasure man," who buries them at the "treasure dump" for me for safe keeping.

But not before taking a picture of the bounty so that I can post it, natch.

Because this was a Super Duper Special Deluxe Birthday Garbage Treasures package, however, it was not 100% Garbage Treasures! But you didn't think Deeky would send me a birthday present without including trash in it, did you?! I HOPE NOT!

image of two presents wrapped in Hello Kitty wrapping paper, a present wrapped in green bubblewrap, a birthday card addressed to me, and a stack of junk

Before Unwrapping: Two presents wrapped in Hello Kitty wrapping paper, a present wrapped in green bubblewrap, a birthday card addressed to me, and a stack of junk.

image of the opened card, with random book page tucked inside, Blur's latest CD, a '50 Shades of Grey' Officially Licensed Anal Beads, and two religious candles with the heads of the saints replaced with Freddie Mercury's and David Bowie's heads

image of the opened card, with random book page tucked inside, Blur's latest CD, a '50 Shades of Grey' Officially Licensed Anal Beads, and two religious candles with the heads of the saints replaced with Freddie Mercury's and David Bowie's heads

The Gifts: One Blur CD, one set of anal beads from the officially licensed '50 Shades of Grey' collection, two religious candles featuring Freddie Mercury and David Bowie, and one birthday card reading: "Liss: From one hobag to another, have a filthy fucking birthday! #BUTTSTUFF Love, [Deeky]."

Blur, anal beads, and Saints Mercury and Bowie. TO BE KNOWN IS TO BE LOVED.

image of a collection of random junk, described below

image of a collection of random junk, described below

And, of course, there was the usual collection of garbage treasures! Clockwise from top left: An "EAT BERTHA'S MUSSELS" bumper sticker; a menu from the Charcoal Deli; a "Saucers Invade China" collectable card; a CD labeled "URANUS" in Deeks' handwriting; an advert for Starlooks' first ever cosmetics line for men; a flyer for Germano's Cabaret; and a flyer for the Cabaret Macabre.

Thank you, Deeky. Between these amazing gifts and my heartfelt cake, you really are the bestest of friends!

(Seriously, though: I am listening to the Blur CD right now, and those candles are fucking amazeballs. There's a better picture of them here. ♥)

Garbage Treasures! (And Happy Birthday to Deeks!)

As you may recall, Deeky collects and saves useless garbage like we're beyond Thunderdome and useless garbage is now a form of currency and he's a garbageaire. Then, instead of throwing it away, he throws pieces of his fancy detritus collection into an envelope and pays money to ship it to me, at which point I put them in plastic treasure chests and put them out by the curb every week to be collected by the "treasure man," who buries them at the "treasure dump" for me for safe keeping.

But not before taking a picture of the bounty so that I can post it, natch.

image of the collection of garbage treasures described below

Clockwise from left: A pamphlet for the Mütter Museum, which is apparently "disturbingly informative"; an "I'm Ready for Hillary" bumper sticker, because Deeks knows how much I love Clinton pressure campaigns THEY ARE MY FAVORITE; an "I voted" sticker; an advertisement for erotic videos, which warns it should be only be opened by recipients interested in perusing a "sexually oriented advertisement," and has already been opened; and a brochure on fraud warning that "cheating the system" is illegal.

This is, by the way, only about half of the total contents of the envelope. Also: Here is what happened the first three times I tried to take the above picture, lol.

As you also may recall, Deeky loves sending me Guy Fieri garbage treasures, and this package arrived with Guy Fieri's trademark "Mop & Slop!" scrawled on its top in Deeky's handwriting.

image of box with Mop & Slop!!! written on it in purple

image of box with Mop & Slop!!! written on it in purple

Before I even opened it, I texted him: "There had better not be some Guy Fieri trash up in this box!" To which he replied: "LOL!!!"

Two minutes later...

image of a bottle of Guy Fieri sauce sitting on my kitchen counter

image of a bottle of Guy Fieri sauce sitting on my kitchen counter

Liss: GODDAMMIT I HATE YOU.

Deeks: Hahaha!!!!!!!

And then he texted me a picture of himself holding the bottle before he sent it, which he'd thoughtfully memed for me.

image of the bottle in close-up, so the 'Mop & Slop' can be read on the label, to which Deeks has added text reading: 'MOP & SLOP?'

image of the bottle in close-up, so the 'Mop & Slop' can be read on the label, to which Deeks has added text reading: 'MOP & SLOP?'

Finally, the package included a bright orange shark friend for me!

image of a rubber orange shark sitting on my kitchen counter

image of a rubber orange shark sitting on my kitchen counter

We are already having SO MUCH FUN together!
* * *

Whenever I'm having a day where I can't decide about what to write, I text Deeks and ask him, "What should I write about?" And every time, he replies, "Me!"

Since Sunday is his birthday—HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEEKS!—I have decided to do just that.

One of the luckiest things that has ever happened to me because of this blog is meeting and becoming friends with Deeky W. Gashlycrumb.

We have made each other laugh, we have talked about the worst things that have happened to us, we have annoyed the shit out of each other, we have gotten tattooed together, we have watched terrible television via text, we have survived watching Heaven Is for Real together in his lovely Baltimore flat, we have sent each each other obnoxious gifts through the mail, we have eaten the best macaroni and cheese on the planet together, we have talked about movies and music and television shows and politics and culture and food and cats and dogs and love and sex and aging and family and surviving.

We celebrate when one of us has a success, and commiserate when one of us is hurting. Which, you know, is the basic job of being a friend, I guess.

But what makes a friend your family is the hard stuff. We worry about each other; we make sure the other is taking our meds and doing self-care. We always have each other's backs. We don't fucking disappear, and we carry each other's pain when the burden is too much to carry alone. We know when the right thing is to say, "What can I do?" and when the right thing is to make the grossest of jokes, to provide the space to think about something, anything, else.

Which, you know, is not actually the easiest thing for two people who are shy and awkward and selfish and guarded and a thousand miles apart. But Deeks is worth the effort, and I try to make myself worth the effort right back.

My life is better because Deeky is in it. To have a friend like that is a precious thing, and I am very lucky.

I love you, pal. Happy birthday.

image of Deeks and me together, smiling

image of Deeks and me together, smiling

Deeky Is a Monster

As I mentioned, Deeky purchased me a copy of Gwyneth Paltrow's cookbook for my birthday, because he hates me. While he was here, he mentioned that another gift he'd bought hadn't arrived before he left, so he would send it to me once he got home. Well, it just arrived.

image of the back of the skillet, which is pink, and features a cartoon image of a pig in a top hat and wearing a monocle, with Guy Fieri's signature

This is the back of the actual skillet.
Deeky W. Gashlycrumb, you are a MONSTER. And I can only assume that if I try to cook one of Gwyneth Paltrow's precious recipes in a Guy Fieri skillet that the entire universe will implode. So get your shit in order, people, because HERE COMES THE BOOM!

Garbage Treasures: Now with Extra Duran Duran!

As you may recall, Deeky collects and saves useless garbage like we're beyond Thunderdome and useless garbage is now a form of currency and he's a garbageaire. Then, instead of throwing it away, he throws pieces of his fancy detritus collection into an envelope and pays money to ship it to me, at which point I put them in plastic treasure chests and put them out by the curb every week to be collected by the "treasure man," who buries them at the "treasure dump" for me for safe keeping.

But not before taking a picture of the bounty so that I can post it, natch.

image of the collection of garbage treasures described below

Counter-clockwise from top right: A flier for the George Peabody Library Book Festival, which happened September 27-29; a brochure for Medieval Times in Hanover, Maryland; a full sheet of Diary of a Wimpy Kid car window decals; a foil package of Parks and Recreation trading cards; a flier for Reducing Gun Violence in America, forward by Michael R. Bloomberg, featuring the image of a machine gun; an advert for the Broadway Musical edition of Elf, adapted from the movie starring Will Ferell; a pile of business card-sized prints of Duran Duran; the packaging for a Doc Johnson Classic Butt Plug (smooth | medium), built in America since 1976; a manky copy of Jennifer Love Hewitt's book, The Day I Shot Cupid, which looks like it's spent some time in a gutter puddle; a photocard for Disney's Teen Beach Movie, the tagline for which is "Never contradict a girl!" because obviously it is; and a little gummy skeleton covered in cat hair.

This is, by the way, about a quarter of the total contents of the envelope.

LOL FOREVER.

Texting! With Liss and Deeky!

As Deeky mentioned In the News, I recently gifted him a Star Wars bow tie. Here is the text conversation had upon its arrival...

Deeks: Thanks for the bow tie!

Liss: You're welcome! I wanted to send you something non-garbagey for a change!

Deeks: LOLOLOL. I just assumed it was garbage prior to opening it.

Liss: "Wait—what? Who is this from again?"

Deeks: I had to check the note they included.

Liss: LOL!

I don't know what he is on about. Just because the last thing I sent him was a pair of marshmallow dolls with googly eyes! Harrumph.

image of two marshmallows: on the left, one has been painted orange and a white handlebar mustache and googly eyes affixed to it; on the right, one has been painted purple with purple-lidded and lashed googly eyes and is wearing a turquoise bow

Garbage Treasures: Now With More Ed Hardy!

As you may recall, Deeky collects and saves useless garbage like we're beyond Thunderdome and useless garbage is now a form of currency and he's a garbageaire. Then, instead of throwing it away, he throws pieces of his fancy detritus collection into an envelope and pays money to ship it to me, at which point I put them in plastic treasure chests and put them out by the curb every week to be collected by the "treasure man," who buries them at the "treasure dump" for me for safe keeping.

But not before taking a picture of the bounty so that I can post it, natch.

image of the collection of garbage treasures described below

[Click to embiggen.]
Counter-clockwise from top left: The packaging itself, a shiny bright red envelope featuring a sparkly sticker of a tween boy who I can only assume is a member of One Direction; some helpful educational materials authored by John Stossel; a pamphlet on "How to Pray the Rosary," which will obviously come in very useful; a "Growing Pains" trading card featuring "Jeremy Miller as Ben Seaver"; a burned copy of the conservative film Last Ounce of Courage on which Deeks has handwritten OBVIOUSLY; a burned copy of the Sean Penn film This Must Be the Place (which I CANNOT WAIT TO WATCH) on which Deeks has handwritten OF COURSE; a burned copy of (what I am guessing is the remake of) Red Dawn (which I can't wait to NOT WATCH) on which Deeks has handwritten NO DOY; and a packet of orange-flavored Ed Hardy Energy Sticks: "All Day Energy 3-Pack. Pour on tongue."

LOL FOREVER.

Garbage Treasures: Now with extra Chester A. Arthur!

As you may recall, Deeky collects and saves useless garbage like we're beyond Thunderdome and useless garbage is now a form of currency and he's a garbageaire. Then, instead of throwing it away, he throws pieces of his fancy detritus collection into an envelope and pays money to ship it to me, at which point I put them in plastic treasure chests and put them out by the curb every week to be collected by the "treasure man," who buries them at the "treasure dump" for me for safe keeping.

But not before taking a picture of the bounty so that I can post it, natch.

image of the collection of garbage treasures described below

[Click to embiggen.]
Counter-clockwise from top left: An ad for $30/month of unlimited yoga at Charm City Yoga; three b-movie trading cards for Robots on the Run, Earthmen Land on Mars, and Lord of the Fleas, obviously; a giant magnet of Chester A. Arthur; and a burned DVD copy of the 1986 horror classic Trick or Treat, starring Marc "Skippy Handelman" Price.

There were also some Flula stickers, but I already stuck 'em on stuff.

Garbage Treasures: Now with extra Chuck Norris!

As you may recall, Deeky collects and saves useless garbage like we're beyond Thunderdome and useless garbage is now a form of currency and he's a garbageaire. Then, instead of throwing it away, he throws pieces of his fancy detritus collection into an envelope and pays money to ship it to me, at which point I put them in plastic treasure chests and put them out by the curb every week to be collected by the "treasure man," who buries them at the "treasure dump" for me for safe keeping.

But not before taking a picture of the bounty so that I can post it, natch.

image of the collection of garbage treasures described below

[Click to embiggen.
Clockwise from bottom left: A schedule effective January 9,2012 for the Metrolink; a promotional sticker for Allagash Brewing Company of Portland, Maine; a Trojan-Enz lubricated condom (my preferred brand!) that looks to be about a decade old; a pamphlet on STD Facts; a stack of glossy "Get Out of Jail Free" business cards; a stack of glossy "Over the Top" business cards; a flyer for Maryland Deathfest ("America's biggest metal party of the year!") which took place two months ago; a post-it stack featuring an army of Bossk the Bounty Hunter action figures; a burned DVD labeled "Cowboy George"; and, the pièce de résistance, a hardcover copy of Chuck Norris with Ken Abraham's Against All Odds: My Story, which came with a note attached on post-it stationery from the desk of Jim Devlin, Vice President of Finance for GM, that read: "I thought this might make a good replacement for your Bush book! Love, Deeks."

image of handwritten note stuck to book cover

image of handwritten note stuck to book cover

In case you hadn't guessed, Deeky's real identity is not Jim Devlin, Vice President of Finance for GM.
All of which came in a package for which the return address was simply: "DEEKY."

image of envelope

image of envelope

LOL!
Plans:

1. I will definitely do something with the Chuck Norris with Ken Abraham book. I don't know what yet. Watch this space.

2. I will carry around some of the Chance cards with me wherever I go, and the next time someone around me says something ignorant about fatties (FOR EXAMPLE) or immigrants (FOR EXAMPLE), and then realizes I am fat or married to an immigrant, I will hand them one of those cards.

3. The Bossk post-its, which Deeky created for his desk "but didn't realize til they got here that there is NO PLACE TO WRITE ON THEM," which is WHY I LOVE THEM MOST OF ALL, are going with me every time I travel. And I will leave one, mysteriously, wherever I go.

Garbage Treasures: The Movie

[Reposting this one from a while back, because reasons and a cumbling infrastructure and also as filler.]

The reviews are in:

"Four and half thumbs up!" — Roger Ebert

"Tropetastic!" — Elvis Mitchell

"★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★" — Leonard Maltin

"Wevs." — Pauline Kael

Time to walk down the red carpet, Shakers! Here it is, the world premiere of my first (and likely last) animated short film. Emphasis on short; it's only a minute long.

Cue the paparazzi, I'm wearing my finest Jean Paul Gaultier tux and snockered on rum. And tune in for my exclusive interview with Leeza Gibbons after the gala! Do people still use the word "gala"? Let's all pinky swear to use "gala" in conversation at least once today, okay? Okay!

Anyway, press play, if you want to watch me and Liss in animated action. In the meantime I'll be collecting all the Oscars. And Grammys. Take that, Foo Fighters!

Garbage Treasures: A Liss & Deeky Adventure
Vague transcript: Deeky mails Liss a package, but Liss is unhappy with her gift.

Garbage Treasures: Wool Edition

In my mailbox recently:

Mini alpacas. Made from alpaca wool. Is it wool if it's from an alpaca? Or is that just for sheep? I don't know. (I don't care.) Alpaca alpacas with eight penny finishing nails for legs. Obviously. Why not? (Why not: Because the legs fall out easily.) The cats love them, so that is something.

As an interesting aside (N.B. this is not interesting) Potter and Jack love all of the Garbage Treasures Liss sends me. Mantis baby, the alpacas, the marshmallow heads. What are the marshmallow heads, you ask? Wait until next week for that one.

Texting! With Liss and Deeky!

Liss: Btw, a fly just flew in a tiny gap in the screen in my office window & immediately landed on A Charge to Keep, thus proving it is indeed an actual piece of shit. Deeky: LOLOL! Of course. Liss: It is so terrible. I can't even think of a form of disposal awful enough for it when I'm done. Short of the devil himself manifesting in my office to personally request I shove it up his b-hole, nothing seems like it will do.

Garbage Treasures

First off, let me apoligize in advance for my face. It's in the post and there is little I can do about it now. So, please keep your complaints about it to yourselves. Or at least direct them toward my father and his DNA.

Anyway... Look what came in the mail recently:

picklefinger toy

What is that, you ask? It's a picklefinger. Obviously. Obviously? Yes, obviously. And what is a picklefinger? Duh. It's a pickle designed to be worn on the finger.

Like so:

seeky and picklefinger toy

seeky and picklefinger toy

See? A pickle. On a finger. Picklefinger. Why did Liss send this to me? I don't know. Do you know? No. You do not know. No one knows. It is a mystery wrapped in an enigma inside a jiffy mailer.

Bonus image:

deeky

That's me using the picklefinger in a manner not endorsed by PickleCo Picklefinger Manufacturers. "So enjoy!"

Garbage Treasures: Interplanetary Edition

If you wonder why I send Liss stuff like George W. Bush books, it's because things like this show up in my mailbox:

E.T. on the mantle

I admit, when I first pulled this out of its box, I thought it was a turd. Not a real turd, mind you, but a turd modelled out of clay. Why would anyone make a turd out of clay? I don't know! But it seems no more nonsensical then what it really is.

And what is it? Really? An extraterrestrial. How do I know it's an extraterrestrial and not a turd with legs? Because the little card says so! The card also says something about how extraterrestrials don't really fit in in this world and maybe neither do we. I'm not sure who is meant by "we." Maybe artists who make extraterrestrials with silver marble eyes and sell them on Etsy.

Or perhaps people who buy extraterrestrials with silver marble eyes.

Garbage Treasures: The Saga Continues

As you may recall, Deeky collects and saves useless garbage like we're beyond Thunderdome and useless garbage is now a form of currency and he's a garbageaire. Then, instead of throwing it away, he throws pieces of his fancy detritus collection into an envelope and pays money to ship it to me—priority mail, so he can track his garbage treasure's path across the country—at which point I put them in plastic treasure chests and put them out by the curb every week to be collected by the "treasure man," who buries them at the "treasure dump" for me for safe keeping.

But not before taking a picture of it so that I can post it, natch.

image of a collection of crap arranged on my desk

Some of the contents of the latest package of Deeky's Garbage Treasures: A pamphlet exhorting me to "get vaccinated to protect against SHINGLES"; an Atlas Shrugged DVD sleeve; a DVD of The Return of Bruno; a Royal Pine-scented car freshener; a "Fibromyalgia Awareness" ribbon bumper magnet; and unopened piece of Important Correspondence from Breath Right Nasal Strips; a business card for Dr. Victor H. Acosta, DDS; and a copy of George W. Bush's A Charge to Keep, complete with Not Bad for a Human bookmark featuring a gritty portrait of Lance Henriksen. Obviously.

Btw, the back cover of A Charge to Keep features the painting of the same name, which is Mondo Fucko's favorite painting because he's a narcissistic chowderhead: "He came to believe that the picture depicted the circuit-riders who spread Methodism across the Alleghenies in the nineteenth century. In other words, the cowboy who looked like Bush was a missionary of his own denomination. Only that is not the title, message, or meaning of the painting. The artist, W.H.D. Koerner, executed it to illustrate a Western short story entitled 'The Slipper Tongue,' published in The Saturday Evening Post in 1916. The story is about a smooth-talking horse thief who is caught, and then escapes a lynch mob in the Sand Hills of Nebraska. The illustration depicts the thief fleeing his captors. In the magazine, the illustration bears the caption: 'Had His Start Been Fifteen Minutes Longer He Would Not Have Been Caught.'"

Ah, the Bush years. Good times. By which I mean terrible, terrible times.

I can't wait to read what is sure to be a GREAT book!

Garbage Treasures

What is this?

An artistic rendering of RPattz

An artistic rendering of RPattz (AKA: Robert Pattinson, for all you squares). An artistic rendering of RPattz that sparkles. Obviously. You can't tell it sparkles because you have to see that in person. Like the aurora borealis a photo of it just can't possibly convey the beauty. But it sparkles. It's also bulges:

An artistic rendering of RPattz

It arrived unassembled, as it were. I nearly threw half of it out by accident. Whoops. Then I read the instructions. (Art! With instructions! So very Geffen Contemporary.) So I put it together and it hangs on a wall in all its convex glory.

Thanks, Liss! I can't wait to see what's next!

Texting! With Liss and Deeky!

Liss: Btw, I was just watching Garbage Treasures again. Also: At dinner, I showed Iain the Garbage Treasure I last bought which is hopefully on its way to your door, and his response was: 'What the fuck is that?!' Deeky: LOL! Great. Liss: I can't wait for you to see it! Deeky: LOL!

Two Facts: 1. I don't smoke cigarettes or weed anymore, and I don't drink coffee, or tea, or booze ("You don't drink any grown-up drinks!"—Iain), and I work at home, so I don't step out for lunch or walk past newsstands anymore, all of which conspires to limit my opportunities for the little $5 splurges that, when one can afford them, make life a little more pleasurable. 2. It turns out, I have more fun spending $5 to buy the most horrendously weird piece of shit and sending it to Deeky than on pretty much anything else in the world.

Garbage Treasures: The Movie

The reviews are in:

"Four and half thumbs up!" — Roger Ebert

"Tropetastic!" — Elvis Mitchell

"★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★" — Leonard Maltin

"Wevs." — Pauline Kael

Time to walk down the red carpet, Shakers! Here it is, the world premiere of my first (and likely last) animated short film. Emphasis on short; it's only a minute long.

Cue the paparazzi, I'm wearing my finest Jean Paul Gaultier tux and snockered on rum. And tune in for my exclusive interview with Leeza Gibbons after the gala! Do people still use the word "gala"? Let's all pinky swear to use "gala" in conversation at least once today, okay? Okay!

Anyway, press play, if you want to watch me and Liss in animated action. In the meantime I'll be collecting all the Oscars. And Grammys. Take that, Foo Fighters!

Garbage Treasures: A Liss & Deeky Adventure
Vague transcript: Deeky mails Liss a package, but Liss is unhappy with her gift.

Photo of the Day

Meet Mantisman! Part mantis, part man! (Paging, Roger Corman.) He showed up in my mail the other day, a gift from Liss. A couple weeks back I asked my friends (harrumph!) on Facebook to send me cool stuff for my mantle. My mantle is empty. My mantle was empty. No more! Not now that Mantisman has arrived.

Okay, so he looks more like a baby than a man, right, so I've a mantisbaby to look after. Of course. Because as I told Liss yesterday, I keep finding him in different spots around my apartment. Either the cats are getting ahold of him or he's alive.

She replied: "I hope it's that he's alive. Obviously." Obviously.

Say hi to Mantisman (AKA Mantisbaby), everyone!

Deeky's Garbage Treasures

As you may recall, Deeky is a closet hoarder who sends me his garbage treasures. Basically, the way this works is that Deeky saves useless garbage like we're beyond Thunderdome and useless garbage is now a form of currency and he's a garbageaire. Then, instead of throwing it away, he throws pieces of his collection of strange bits of paper and other detritus into an envelope and pays money to ship it to me—priority mail, so he can track his garbage treasure's path across the country—where it sits in my mailbox until he harangues me to collect it. Then, I empty the garbage contents of the garbage envelope, laugh at it with him until tears are rolling out of our eyes, and throw it away. I mean, put it a special garbage treasure reservoir for safe-keeping!

But not before taking a picture of it so that I can post it, obvs.

image of the latest collection of garbage treasures

[Click to embiggen.]
Some of the contents of the latest package of Deeky's Garbage Treasures: A copy of Roald Dahl's The Witches, illustrated by Quentin Blake, a tag from a Michael Kors shirt, a "How to Use a Condom" guide in English and Spanish from LifeStyles Condoms, a "Jody Landers for Mayor of Baltimore City" flyer ("Together...we can - and we will make a difference."), a green bumper-sticker reading "Go Green Eat Pickles," an STD Facts pamphlet, the 23rd edition of the Baltimore Water Taxi Guide, good from March 2011 through March 2012, a green toothbrush reading "BRACES by DR. BONEBREAK," and a Justin Bieber action figure from the Mini Collection. It's "Red Carpet Justin," for all you curious collectors out there.

I have to admit, however, that the item which made me laugh until I was crying was actually a sealed envelope, addressed to Deeks in one of those fonts that's supposed to fool recipients into thinking it's a hand-written letter. In the same font was printed, "We Miss You." The cynicism of that plaintive marketing message combined with Deeky's undiluted contempt, picturing him dumping the thing unopened into the package destined for me, just sent me into gales of relentless laughter.

image of aforementioned envelope

image of aforementioned envelope

I Found Deeky's Birthday Present

Majestic, is it not?

The great thing is, this is like two gifts in one. As Melissa noted to me via email, she should be receiving it in her mail about a month after Deeky's birthday. Happy Birthday, Melissa!

(via.)