ELECTION UPDATE!!!

1. Hillary Clinton is definitely dying IF SHE'S NOT EVEN ALREADY DEAD and therefore is totes using a body double. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IT, YOUR DISBELIEF IS EVIDENCE THAT YOU'RE IN THE BAG FOR KILLERY SHILLERY HILLARY, YOU MONSTER. Don't you even SEE how her nose looks different when she's making different expressions or how her wrinkles look different at different resolutions or how she's totally thinner when someone has stretched a photo?! PROOF! It's called SCIENCE.

The one problem (THERE'S DEF ONLY ONE) w/ the Clinton body double theory is that it's hard to believe even 1 woman would put up w/ this shit

— Melissa McEwan (@Shakestweetz) September 13, 2016

(BTW: Once you start deep-diving into the body double conspiracy "evidence" (which I don't advise), you realize that "basket of deplorables" was generous.)

2. Donald Trump is up to a lot of heinous stuff, as per usual! Of course it just wouldn't be FAIR or OBJECTIVE if the media covered all of these things, because then it might be obvious that he is a much worse candidate than Clinton! SO KEEP A LID ON IT. GEEZ.

3. Our national media is garbage.

4. Tim Kaine continues to be very delightful and also makes good and serious points about how Donald Trump is a terrible candidate. I hope he's never sent or received any emails or started a foundation that has saved millions of lives or coughed or sat on a stool or felt faint from a combination of heat and pneumonia or rested against a pillow or SUSPICIOUSLY wore his purse on a different shoulder than usual one day. Although it probably doesn't matter, because he's a dude.

5. Mike Pence continues to be the absolute fucking worst.

54 more days of this shit.

That about sums it up! Discuss.