1. Hillary Clinton works very hard! She is a very good candidate! But have you heard she has emailed things? And received emails from other people? Also, her family has a foundation that saves lives, but sometimes people who may or may not have wanted access to her donated to that foundation in hopes of getting access that they were denied. STILL IT LOOKS BAD, DON'T YOU THINK? Even worse, occasionally Hillary Clinton sits on stools. And pillows. Only monsters sit on pillows.
2. Donald Trump is going to give a speech about immigration today. I'm sure it will be terrific! So full of bigotry! I can't wait to hear all about the walls he wants to build, or doesn't want to build, or wants Mexico to build, or at least pay for, or maybe not. We'll see! Lord Trump still has not released his tax returns, nor a serious medical report, and also he is a scam artist who has made his money exploiting workers. But, in case you haven't heard, he's entertaining! And that is a key qualification for the United States presidency. IT'S IN THE CONSTITUTION. Look it up.
3. Our national media is garbage.
4. Tim Kaine continues to be very delightful and also makes good and serious points about how Donald Trump is a terrible candidate. I hope he's never sent or received any emails. Although it probably doesn't matter, because he's a dude.
5. Mike Pence continues to be the absolute fucking worst.
68 days more of this shit.
That about sums it up! Discuss.