New York Primary Wrap-Up

image of my hand holding a glass with a shot of whiskey in it; on the glass is Hillary Clinton's logo accompanied by text reading: 'Made from 100% shattered glass ceiling.'

So, as you may have heard, New York had its primary yesterday! Congratulations to Hillary Clinton, who won the state for whom she served two terms as US Senator by almost 16 points! Wow!

(Here is her [video autoplays] victory speech. A transcript is not yet available.)

Clinton was awarded 139 delegates, and Bernie Sanders was awarded 106.

On the other side of the aisle, Donald Trump also won, taking 60% of the vote. He was awarded 89 delegates, and John Kasich was awarded 3. Ted Cruz was awarded no delegates. Whoooooops! There's some New York values for ya, pal.

Since who fucking cares about the Republicans, let's go back to the Democrats.

Clinton won more votes in New York than all the GOP candidates combined. She passed the ten million vote threshold for this primary. In exit polling, 72% of voters said she had energized the Democratic Party (compared to 64% for Sanders). She won by double digits. Will the media at long last stop with the garbage narrative about an enthusiasm gap?

Probably not! At least if the Washington Post's late-night coverage is any indication: "Hillary Clinton won New York, but her image is underwater." Hahahahahaha of course it is!

This, meanwhile, was their complementary piece on Trump: "New York blowout gives Donald Trump big boost in GOP race." Perfect.


Team Sanders is vowing that they'll still take it all the way to the convention, even though the math makes it virtually impossible for him to win. Actually impossible, unless basically all the superdelegates abandon Clinton for Sanders. Which won't happen.

I certainly hope that Sanders will reconsider his hard negative campaign strategy, especially since it's not even working. But I fear that we're just going to see more of the same. I'd be happy for my fears to be proven unfounded!

I guess we'll have to wait and see.

In the meantime, congratulations to Clinton supporters who are so happy! To the Sanders supporters who are merely disappointed, as anyone is when their candidate loses, my sympathies. I know it's a bummer.

And to the Sanders supporters who are losing their fucking shit over Clinton's win, let me make a suggestion: You wouldn't be so devastated if you hadn't turned this primary into an epic battle of good vs. evil. As you may have noticed, when Clinton loses in the entirely typical way that happens during primaries, I'm basically like, oh well, better luck next time. But since you've turned your opponent into HISTORY'S GREATEST MONSTER, it's no wonder you can't have a reasonable response to losing.

Just settle down. You've done your darnedest to demonize her, but she's not actually a demon. She's just a politician who won this one, not because of some grand conspiracy, but because she's run a better campaign in the opinion of more people. Shrug.

I strongly suggest reserving the apoplexy for the general election, when we'll all be facing an opponent who genuinely deserves it.

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