"Football Town Nights"

[Content Note: Sexual violence.]

Last night, on Inside Amy Schumer, there was a sketch about football and rape culture that was absolutely amazing. Tough, terrible, and extraordinary.

Now, before I even get into the sketch, I want to note a couple of things:

1. Amy Schumer has dealt with rape using humor previously. I don't think she always successfully navigates that area, but I do think she did here.

2. This is not a rape joke, but a rape culture joke—that is, it doesn't seek to normalize rape and uphold the rape culture, but to examine, challenge, dismantle it.

3. Nonetheless, it still may be triggering, because there is a lot of discussion of rape culture tropes and examples of rape apologia and victim-blaming.

4. Although I find this sketch to be successful, that doesn't mean anyone else has to agree. I understand and respect that some survivors do not and cannot find any rape-related humor funny or effective, no matter what its target. I don't think that makes them "oversensitive." I think that means they've got a different sensitivity than I do.

So, all of that said, here is the sketch, which is a send-up of the TV show Friday Night Lights, which centered around the high school football program in a small town in Texas:


Video Description: Actor Josh Charles, a thin, white, middle-aged man, is playing a high school football coach who is new to town, in a community where football is everything. Comedian Amy Schumer, a thin, white, young woman, is playing his supportive but concerned wife, who always has a glass of white wine in her hand.

Montage of scenes from around town. Text onscreen: "Football Town Nights." More montagery. Text onscreen: "Monday." A male voiceover, meant to sound like a newscast, talks about the new coach coming to town to coach the "Bronconeers." Cut to a scene of an elderly male neighbor bringing Coach and Coachwife a baked good while they're unpacking and moving in. He tells them the old coach was like family, and Coach has some big shoes to fill. "Ain't it good to be the coach?" Coachwife asks, and sashays away, drinking and spilling a glass of white wine.

Text onscreen: "Tuesday." The locker room at the high school. The coach walks in to meet the team, which is mostly white teen boys and a couple of black teen boys. He tells them that he does things differently than the way they're used to. He gives them three rules, written on a whiteboard: 1. No huddle offense. 2. Two days every day. 3. "NO RAPING!!!"

The team reacts with sighs and mutters. "But, Coach—we play football!" one of the players tells him. "My team; my rules," says Coach. "You don't like it; don't let the door rape you on the way out." The assistant coach throws his clipboard to the floor and storms out. "Can we rape at away games?" asks one of the players. "Nope," says Coach. "What if it's Halloween, and she's dressed like a sexy cat?" asks another player. "Nope," says Coach. "What if she thinks it's rape, but I don't?" asks another player. "Still no," says Coach. "What about like a sexy ladybug?" asks another player. "Nope," says Coach. The players moan exasperatedly. "A ghost? What about a sexy owl?" Coach makes a WTF face.

Shot of the school front and the sound of a bell, indicating time has passed. Coach sits with his head in his hands. On the whiteboard is written: "Adopted?—No. Dad's dead?—No!" The players continue to question Coach. "A sexy Transformer?" asks one. "What if my mom is the DA and won't prosecute? Can I rape?" asks another. "No you cannot," says Coach. The other players exhale disappointedly. "What if she's drunk and has a slight reputation and no one's gonna believe her?" asks another. "That ain't allowed," says Coach. "Okay, the girl said yes to me, the other day, but it was about something else," says another. "NO!" says Coach. "What if the girl said yes, but then she changes her mind out of nowhere, like a crazy person?" asks another. "You gotta stop," says Coach with a shrug, shaking his head. "NO YOU GOTTA STOP!" yells one of the players, lunging for Coach; the other players grab him and hold him back. Coachwife shows up with a larger glass of white wine, and leans in the door of the locker room, sipping it. She and Coach shake their heads at each other.

Text onscreen: "Wednesday." Coach and Coachwife are walking from their truck to the front door when two elderly white ladies pass by. "Hey!" one of them shouts. "You're that new coach who don't like raping!" Coach and Coachwife turn and look at them. "How are our boys supposed to celebrate when they win?" asks the other lady. "Or blow off steam when they lose?" asks the first. She spits on the ground and they walk away. Coachwife tells them they're not being very neighborly, then tells Coach that this is just this town's way, and asks him if he thinks he needs to back off "this whole no-raping thing," and he protests and she says she knows, but she is so tired. She sips from an even larger glass of white wine.

Text onscreen: "Thursday." One of the players shows up at Coach's front door. Coach lets him in, and the player sits down and tells Coach that Coach is the closest thing he's ever had to a dad and needs to ask him something. "Go ahead, son," says Coach. "But, like, what if someone else is raping her, right? And I'm just like filming it on my phone?" the player asks. "It's still a no; you're just as guilty!" says Coach. Coachwife comes into the room, drinking from a glass of wine that is as long as her torso.

Text onscreen: "Friday." It's the night of the big game. The football stadium is filled with people. An announcer says, "The Bronconeers are taking a beating out there!" One of the players takes a hard hit and has to be carried off the field. In the locker room, he lies on a gurney in a neck brace, being examined by a doctor. "Just give it to me straight, doc," says his worried father. "Will my boy ever rape again?" The doctor looks down sadly. "I'm afraid not," he says, and the injured player's parents clutch each other and cry. Coach storms away, angry and confused.

At halftime, the Bronconeers are down 15 points. Coach rails at the players in the locker room. "We should not be losing this game! Doogan, what the hell were you thinking out there during that last play, son?" The player who came to Coach's house replies, "I was thinking about raping." Coach convulses with anger. "Goddammit!" he says, throwing a helmet.

"How do I get through to you boys that football isn't about rape?!" he thunders. "It's about violently dominating anyone that stands between you and what you want! Now, you gotta get yourself into the mindset that you are gods!" He clenches his fists and the team rallies enthusiastically. "That you are entitled to this!" The team cheers in agreement. "That other team? They ain't just gonna lay down and give it to you! YOU GOTTA GO OUT THERE AND TAKE IT!" The team shouts. They all come together and raise their hands against Coach's raised hand. "Now let's get out there!" Coach says. "Clear eyes, full hearts." All together they yell, "Don't rape!"

The team runs back toward the field. Just inside the locker room door is Coachwife, standing and leaning on a ginormous glass of white wine. "Ain't it good to be the coach?" she asks Coach. "I love you, baby," he says.

* * *

Wow. That last bit? Devastating.

It's essentially the idea I wrote here, after an(other) NFL player was arrested for domestic violence:

The truth is, we need to take a long, hard look at celebrating a game that is deeply rooted in and profoundly encouraging of aggressive masculinity. We ask these players to conform to stereotypes of toxic masculinity; we oblige them to spend their entire lives immersed in a culture of toxic masculinity; we turn our heads away when they take drugs that make them stronger and tangentially more prone to rage; we treat with indifference the head injuries they sustain, which can affect judgment and impulse control; we pay them enormous sums of money to play, in front of cheering crowds, an aggressive sport that consists primarily of bashing into other men to physically achieve their objective of winning; we shame them when they fail to be sufficiently aggressive; and then we expect them to turn off the "smash to win" impulse they spend most of their lives perfecting, the moment they walk off the field.

We reward them handsomely for demonstrations of physical aggression on the field, and then we hold them uniquely, exclusively, individually responsible when they do the same thing off the field.

Maybe we need to ask ourselves, as a culture, if we're really okay with asking women and children to continue to pay the price for our entertainment.

Except, in the sketch, it's wrapped in the additional commentary of how even coaches that seem like the good guys are still using violent rhetoric to motivate their teams.

There are a whole lot of layers to this sketch. I kind of can't believe I saw that on television. Damn.