I Write Letters

Dear Tall People:

I am writing to you today with much affinity: I am married to a tall person, and some of my best friends are tall people! And with no small amount of envy. The way you can just reach things on the top shelf of the kitchen cupboards? Ooh la la!

Me? I am a short person. Also I wear glasses. And, generally speaking, I like hugs!

In the interest of improving short person and tall person relations, I need to bring something to your attention that many of you don't seem to have realized: If you hug a short person who wears glasses in a way that tightly squeezes our bespectacled mugs to your front, IT HURTS OUR FACES!

Seriously. I cannot emphasize this enough: Having your glasses smashed against your face really, really hurts.

And nothing subverts the pleasure of a hug like worrying that your specs are gonna snap and/or shatter and/or puncture your eyeball.

It's also just kind of embarrassing to have onlookers seeing you look like this:

image of me with my glasses askew on my face and my hair ruffled, making a humorously consternated expression

Thank you kindly for your consideration.

Warmest regards,

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