Open Thread


Hosted by carrots.

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The Virtual Pub Is Open

image of a pub Photoshopped to be named 'The Jiggly Arms'
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]

(See what I did there?)

TFIF, Shakers!

Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!


And don't forget to tip your bartender!



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This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

[Content Note: Misogyny; gender essentialism; heterocentrism.]

Normally, I wouldn't even link to the World Net Daily, home of such journalistic luminaries as Chuck Norris and David "The Lesser" Limbaugh, but this is impressively terrible even by the WND's peerless garbage standards:

screecap of the top of an article at WND headlined 'Want a man? Stop being a b-tch' and accompanied by a stock photo of a young white women sticking her tongue out
Actual screencap of actual headline and obviously perfect stock photo.

It's just a super article SORRY TO SPOIL THE SURPRISE OF GREATNESS FOR YOU with terrific stuff like:
Despite your beauty and brilliance, it could be your attitude that's preventing you from finding a husband and keeping him.
And:
Suzanne Venker in her hot new release, How to Choose a Husband and Make Peace With Marriage...faults the sexual revolution and feminist movement of the last 40 years for convincing women to not demand more of their relationships. ...But how can women find men who are good husbands, fathers and providers? Don't look to feminists for the answers, Venker warns. ...Venker said the feminist movement has taught women to stop needing men – for anything in life – from companionship to financial support or even childbearing.
And:
Venker explains that the feminist culture has created unnecessary marital strife for one big reason: "Women are bitter. They're defensive; they're competitive; and they're ready to pounce... [E]quality is always the goal. Women want to prove they're strong and capable and can't be messed with. To them, that's power. But all women end up doing is proving to men how angry they are. And who wants to be with someone who's mad all the time?"

Venker warns women to stop trying to compete with their husbands and to remove the "boss hat" when they get home – because marriage is about love, not competition and aggressiveness.

"Maybe women think being b-tchy is attractive since that's what they're attracted to. Women love guys who aren't sweet. They gravitate toward men who are confident, accomplished, and yes, full of themselves. Women are forever passing up the nice guy in favor of the jerk. But you can rarely turn this scenario around. Men don't want a b-tch for a wife. So don't be one."
I mean, that's just some solid advice right there. It's almost TOO GOOD, really. If Venker isn't careful, she's going to GREAT ADVICE Dr. Phil right out of a job, and that would be kinda bitchy.

Or not? I'm not sure if it technically makes one a bitch to go all "boss hat" in public. Are guys who don't want a bitch for a wife okay with bitches as colleagues and/or professional competitors? Anti-feminisming is hard. Maybe all of us should just resolve to defer to men at all times, just in case.

[Via HyperVocal.]

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Headline of the Day

Kevin Drum: Conservatives Shocked to Discover Healthcare in America is Really Expensive.

The inevitable result of the instinct to task individuals with finding solutions to systemic problems (i.e. bootstraps) is ignorance about how systems work. Systems of oppression, governmental systems, the healthcare system...

It's often surprising to progressives how truly mystified so many conservatives seem about How Things Work, but it's a carefully cultivated and fastidiously maintained ignorance that abets the notion they achieve success exclusively on their own merits, and others fail exclusively on their own shortcomings.

And it's why conservatives who struggle blame totally the wrong entities for their struggles. People who don't understand systems look for scapegoats.

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Obviously

image of James Franco gesturing solemnly while speaking into a microphone

What—did you think James Franco wasn't going to team up with director Christina Voros to film a documentary about Italian megabrand Gucci and its creative director, Frida Giannini? You're so weird.

That was always going to happen, because James Franco.

In other Vital Franco News, James Franco would, "under the right circumstances," have sex onscreen. So, for all of you who have been wondering if James Franco would be willing to have real sex onscreen for your Untitled James Franco Sexytimes Project, the answer is: MAYBE!
"I'd say under the right circumstances. There are a lot of circumstances," he said, with co-director [of Interior. Leather Bar.] Travis Mathews by his side. "Who's involved? Both behind-the-scenes, behind the camera, in front of the camera."

..."It's hard to put certain kinds of sex in film," Franco said. "Now, I could sort of understand that if it wasn't so easy to put other kinds of things in film, like violence. Obviously, there's some weird standard here that is just illogical."
I was going to make a respectful joke thanking Professor Franco of Necessary Observations at Priorities University, but then I realized that I do have a life that sometimes requires not documenting every single piece of Vital Franco News, and there is a strong possibility that I missed he is actually employed as a Professor of Necessary Observations at Priorities University, and wouldn't that make me look silly.

[H/T to my friend Todd for the Gucci link.]

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Friday Blogaround

This blogaround brought to you by spiral notebooks.

Recommended Reading:

Igor: Everything You Need to Know about the Administration's New Birth Control Rules

Rebecca: Genderswapped Children's Stories

Jeremy: This Is That Post Where a Catholic Leader Likens My Marriage to Men Squirting Milk out of Their Nipples

Dave: Lawmakers Press for Answers on Sale of Wild Horses

Emily: Fat-Shamed by OG/GYN

Andy: Documentary Explores Dangerous World for Gays in Jamaica

Angry Asian Man: Cibu, Your "Asian Inspired" Beauty Product Names Are the Worst

Trudy: What an Adorable Book!

Echidne: Good News Friday

Yatima: Announcing Geek Feminism Book Club!

Leave your links and recommendations in comments...

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Quote of the Day

"Hillary has transformed our understanding—no, our definition—of foreign affairs. Diplomacy is no longer just the skill of managing relations with other countries. The big issues—war and peace, terror, economic stability, etc.—remain, and she has handled them with firmness and authority, with poise and confidence, and with good will, when appropriate. But it is not the praise of diplomats or dictators that will be her legacy. She dealt with plenipotentiaries, but her focus was on people. Foreign affairs isn't just about treaties, she taught us, it's about the suffering and aspirations of those affected by the treaties, made or unmade. Most of all, diplomacy should refocus attention on the powerless. Of course, Hillary wasn't the first secretary of state to advocate for human rights or use the post to raise awareness of abuses or negotiate humanitarian relief or pressure oppressors. But she was the first to focus on empowerment, particularly of women and girls."Donna Brazile, Democratic strategist, writer, professor, and commentator, on Hillary Clinton's legacy (or at least part of it) as Secretary of State.

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Reproductive Rights Updates: Arkansas, Virgina, Washington, Michigan, North Dakota

You know what they say: new legislative session, new asinine horseshit legislation. They do say that, right? I'm pretty sure they do.

In Arkansas, Republican Jason Rapert proposed "heartbeat" legislation that would ban abortion if cardiac activity is detected.

LITTLE ROCK — Arkansas senators advanced a proposal Wednesday to ban most abortions if a fetal heartbeat is detected, a move that would prohibit the procedure as early as six weeks into a pregnancy, despite a warning from opponents that it would open the state up to legal challenges.

The Senate Public Health, Welfare and Labor Committee endorsed by a voice vote legislation that would require a test to detect a fetal heartbeat before an abortion is performed. If one is detected, a woman could not have an abortion, except in cases of rape, incest and if a mother's life is in danger.

The measure heads to a vote in the Republican-controlled Senate, where it's sponsored by 19 of the chamber's 35 members.

"I simply recognize that without a heartbeat, there is no life, and life must be protected," Sen. Jason Rapert, R-Conway, the bill's chief sponsor, told reporters after Wednesday's hearing.
And I simply recognize that a heartbeat does not a viable fetus make. Or even a heart itself: cardiac cells can beat in a petri dish. But, Jason Rapert (R-Conway), don't let science get in the way of your self-righteousness!

If you recall, Ohio attempted this same sort of thing, though this Arkansas legislation comes with even harsher penalties: medical personnel who perform abortions "could face a Class D felony, punishable by up to six years in prison and a fine of up to $10,000".

***

In Virgina, the final bill left to help fight against mandatory ultrasounds was defeated.
RICHMOND — A Republican-run Senate committee swiftly killed legislation Monday that would have made Virginia’s mandatory pre-abortion ultrasound exams optional after the committee chairman blocked discussion of the bill.

The hastily convened Privileges and Elections Committee special meeting lasted just minutes with Sen. Ralph S. Northam’s bill dying on a party-line vote. Six Republicans opposed and three Democrats supported it. Once proxy votes from absent Republicans were added, the final tally swelled to 8-3. Four committee Democrats did not vote.

“What a kangaroo court this is, Mr. Chairman. This is an embarrassment,” Mr. Northam huffed after committee Chairman Stephen H. Martin ordered a roll call vote while stifling efforts by Mr. Northam, a Norfolk Democrat who is a doctor, and at least one other physician to testify for the bill.

Mr. Martin, Chesterfield Republican, contended the committee had already discussed the bill. Its history in the Legislative Information System, however, showed that Senate Bill 1332 had never been before a committee or a subcommittee.
When that excuse didn't work, Martin then said that there wasn't any need to discuss it because it was just like other legislation they shot down, any minor differences in wording aside. Another committee member, Janet Howell (D-Fairfax) said she wasn't aware of it being on the agenda until minutes before the meeting started.

That's some awesome governing right there.

***

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Daily Dose of Cute

image of Olivia the White Farm Cat lying in the sunshine by the front door

Livs.

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Teaspoon Like Beckham

image of David Beckham at a press conference
Becks at the press conference in which he announced the donation of his salary.

In case you forgot for a moment that David Beckham is the greatest, here is a reminder that David Beckham is the greatest [H/T to Jess]:
"It has never been about the biggest contract or the money," said David Beckham in his press conference today announcing his five-month deal to join Paris Saint-Germain of the French Ligue 1.

"It's always been about playing football. I've been lucky to achieve what I've achieved and earned what I've earned."

The 37-year old highest paid soccer player in the world's most popular sport put his money where his mouth is. The "huge sum" Beckham confirmed he would earn — estimated at €800,000 ($1 million) a month, nearly double his salary at his previous club, the Los Angeles Galaxy — will all be donated to a yet-to-be-named Parisien children's charity.

It's a move in line with Beckham's (and his wife, Victoria's) philanthropic efforts. As a UNICEF ambassador since 1999, he has championed such childhood causes as malnutrition, domestic abuse and trafficking among others. The power couple also operates a charity to provide wheelchairs to disabled youth.
The Beckhams can afford it. They're already very wealthy, and he'll still make fuckloads of cash from endorsements. But there aren't a lot of people who can afford to donate a million dollars a month (!) to charity, and precious few of the ones who can, do.

That is a big teaspoon.

[Note: I am not saying that David Beckham is perfect! I am sure he has all kinds of human flaws, like unexamined privilege or forgetting to put his stinky socks in the hamper! I am just saying he's PRETTY GREAT!]

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In The News

Your regular In The News correspondent, Deeky W. Gashlycrumb, MD., is off while he moves into his new evil lair apartment.

[Content Note: Terrorism; hostility to agency; misogynistic violence.]

Chuck Hagel was not super during his confirmation hearing. I guess people are surprised by this? Has nobody met Chuck Hagel before?

Two dead and others wounded, some seriously, after a suicide bomber hits the US embassy in Ankara, Turkey.

Congress, possibly the most ill-equipped group in the country to address technology issues, will battle over internet privacy in 2013. I'm sure they'll make all the best decisions!

The Department of Health and Human Services is expected to announce today that religiously affiliated employers "will be able to opt out of providing their employees with insurance coverage for contraceptives" in an exception to the contraception mandate. Speaking of good decisions!

In an actual good decision, Congress passed a new law as an amendment to the National Defense Authorization Act which "imposes a fine and a prison sentence of up to five years on those found guilty of sending girls under the age of 18 out of the country" for female genital cutting.

Hawaii legislators, at the request of Aerosmith lord Steven Tyler, have proposed legislation "to protect celebrities from paparazzi, giving famous faces power to sue over unwanted beach photos and other snapshots on the islands." It is weird to me that we need laws to protect anyone from any unwanted photography! Why are people so terrible?! Don't take pictures without permission, you knuckleheads!

This is an actual headline in the world: Hillary Clinton Takes a Rest, How Weird Is That?

Japanese scientists have recorded the first real-time video of thoughts forming in the brain. Neat!

Want. Wanty-want-want!

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Photo of the Day

image
Tara at Think Progress: "Mississippi's only remaining abortion clinic, the Jackson Women's Health Organization, is struggling to stay open as it is faced with unnecessary, complicated restrictions imposed by the state's Republican lawmakers. But its owners are staying positive—and they hope to send that positive message to the rest of the Jackson community, now that the clinic building has gotten a new, bright pink facelift... But since the Jackson clinic hasn't been able to comply with the restrictive regulations—the new rules require the clinic's doctors to secure hospital admitting privileges, but all seven hospitals in the surrounding area have so far denied them—it may be in trouble soon."

In the meantime, the clinic will remain defiantly pink. Clinic Owner Diane Derzis: "It says: We're right here, and we're not going anywhere."

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TV Corner

There was no new Parks and Rec last night (WHUT?! BOO!), so no Parks and Rec thread. (Awwwwwww!) Instead, here is a general thread to talk about what you're watching, what TV shows (scripted or reality/competition) you're loving, what you're not loving, what you'd recommend to watch, and what you'd recommend to avoid.

Please be careful to warn about spoilers, as required!

Have at it.

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RIP Ed Koch

image of former NYC Mayor Ed Koch, standing in front of the NYC skyline with his arms spread, smiling

Former Mayor of New York City Ed Koch has died from congestive heart failure at age 88. His New York Times obituary is here.

Koch was a Democrat, and then he wasn't. He was an effective mayor in some ways, and a failure in others. He was polarizing sometimes because he was challenging the status quo in a radical way, and sometimes because his policies were designed to protect privilege. He was not always sensitive to issues of race or gender. Nor was he generous about anyone who lived outside New York City, seemingly the only place in the US he deemed worthy of residence. His third term was plagued by corruption. His political career was marked by many successes.

He was an icon of New York, a product and reflection of the city in many ways, good and bad. He was a character.

It was, for much of his career, an open secret, or a rumor, that Koch was gay, questions about which Koch used to evade until during a single interview in 1989 he said he was not. He stock answer was that it was no one's business but his own. It was used against him in the ugliest way, during the 1977 mayoral campaign, when signs reading "Vote for Cuomo, Not the Homo" were posted around the city.
Mr. Koch did not respond at the time, but 12 years later, in his book "His Eminence and Hizzoner," he recalled, "When I first saw those posters, I cringed, and I wondered how I would be able to bear it."
A rare confession of vulnerability from the mayor who once explained he wasn't the sort of person who got ulcers; he was the sort of person who gave other people ulcers. He was known for saying what he thought, come what may. Like most people with a disabled filter, that gave him both the capacity for charm and harm, in equal measure.

RIP Mr. Mayor.

[Note: If there are less flattering things to be said about Koch, they have been excluded because I am unaware of them, not as the result of any deliberate intent to whitewash his life. Please feel welcome to comment on the entirety of his work and life in this thread.]

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Open Thread


Hosted by a rutabaga.

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Question of the Day

How many languages do you speak?

The only language in which I am fluent is English (although I seem to have problems typing it), and I speak a very little bit of German and a very little bit of Spanish—just enough of each that I am generally able to converse, if awkwardly, with a German or Spanish speaker who also speaks a very little bit of English, and is willing to charade out the rest.

I also know the alphabet in ASL, which has come in handy on a few occasions.

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Photo of the Day

image of a nearly full-circle rainbow above a waterfall
[Click to embiggen.]
From the Telegraph's Pictures of the Day for 31 January 2013: An almost full-circle rainbow at Victoria Falls taken by Nicole Cambre on the Zambian side of the falls. [Nicole Cambre / Rex Features]
Lovely.

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HA HA PERFECT

Geraldo Rivera is "truly contemplating" a run for the US Senate in New Jersey.

"I mention this only briefly, fasten your seatbelt," Rivera said on his radio show. "I mentioned this only briefly to my wife...but I am and I've been in touch with some people in the Republican Party in New Jersey. I am truly contemplating running for Senate against Frank Lautenberg or Cory Booker."
That's so perfect because there are so many empty vaults that need investigating in the basement of the Capitol!

* * *

Because I have no commentary beyond a derisive snort, I will instead share (again) one of my favorite stories about my Nana Mil...

Once, she was visiting us in Indiana for the holidays (when I was about 13), and we saw a promo for an upcoming episode of Geraldo—back when he was a daytime talk show scandalmonger, before he became the highly reputable journalist for Fox News that he is today. It was one of those adverts that announced the topic and requested guests: "Prostitute Grannies! If you want your grandma to stop selling her body on the street, call 1-800…"

I told Nana that I was going to call, because I was tired of her wild whoring.

She took a long drag, exhaled with a raised eyebrow, pointed at me with her cigarette, and said without missing a beat: "Don't mess with my livelihood."

I laughed for approximately ten million years.

a picture of me as a toddler, sitting on the floor next to my grandmother, on whose head I've placed an open book
The Pink Petulance and her nana, who was being made to wear a book on her head, circa 1976.

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Speaking of...

Apropos of what I was saying earlier about social justice being a work in progress, Dave Weigel observes that, with Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick's appointment of Mo Cowan to fill John Kerry's vacated US Senate seat, this will be the first time ever that "the Senate will include more than one black member at the same time—Cowan and South Carolina's Tim Scott."

It takes a special sort of unicorn-scented ignorance to argue we live in a post-racial society when the US Senate has two whole black members serving at the same time! in the year of our lord Jesus Jones two thousand and thirteen.

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Cis Privilege Corner

[Content note: transphobia]

Over the past few weeks, I’ve had a glut of opportunities to consider the ways in which society privileges cis bodies. More specifically, I’ve been reflected on how society privileges cis people’s medical needs.

A few years back, I was at the radiology department of a local hospital, because it was the third Sunday of the month and I played roller derby. (Seriously. Let’s hear it for the rad techs.) Anyhow, I’m about to get my chest or head or whatever x-rayed or scanned to make sure that everything is of the appropriate size and relative location, and I’m talking to the tech.

According to my driver’s license and my chart, I’m a woman, so I have to answer the usual questions, because if I’m pregnant and playing roller derby, it would be totally inappropriate to expose the fetus (or fetuses!) to radiation.

Now, there’s two basic ways a provider can approach that question.

The first is pretty straightforward:

“Is there any chance that you might be pregnant”

Women (and trans* men) tend, in my estimation to have a pretty good handle on this one. Do I have a uterus and ovaries that are still functioning as if I’m potentially fertile? Has anyone been putting semen down there? What do I use for birth control? When was my last period. Etcetera. Remember, the question isn’t are you pregnant, it’s is there any chance that you might be pregnant.

In my mind, this is generally the most straight-forward approach (although that’s not really the point of this story). Usually I answer that one with something between a laugh and a firm no.

On this particularly night, when this particular body part or parts was behaving suspiciously, the tech took the other approach:

“When was the last time you had your period?”

I suspect the people that came up with this approach have a narrow set of expectations ranging from “four weeks ago” to “oh, has it been six weeks?” to “I’M BLEEDING OUT OF MY SNATCH RIGHT NOW!” (I’ve always wanted to be able to say that to someone in a hospital.) Anyways, there are those of us who have slightly different answers to that question-- answers like “last year”, or “back when Duran Duran was a thing.”

One of my close friends who I regularly talked to when I had just came out once told me a story about this one time she was in the hospital. (Trans* ladies. Always in the hospital.) For obvious reasons, she liked to keep a pretty low profile about the whole FREAKY LADY WHO NEVER MENSTRATED! thing. So, when posed with the latter question, she answered two weeks. Anyhow, between the various tests they were administering to her and the miscellaneous Percocet-induced answers she was giving to various queries, “two weeks” turned out to be THE WRONG ANSWER.

Long story short, various VERY SERIOUS medical professionals were going to have to take VERY IMMEDIATE action to keep her vagina from exploding or whatever. She ended up having to come out to the doctors on the spot, which sucks because the only thing worse than coming out as trans* to strangers who have a buttload of power over you is coming out as trans* to the strangers who have a buttload of power over you that you’ve been lying to all this time.

My friend came up with a pretty kick-ass solution. From then on out, when asked about her body’s menstrual habits, she told folks that she was born without a uterus. Of course, she lived in a polite neighborhood and didn’t play roller derby, so this wasn’t a regular occurrence.

So I’m standing next to the nurses’ station in this ER, various body parts in various places, and the tech asks me to tell her the last time I’ve menstrated. As on a few previous occasions, I respond that I was born without a uterus.

Unlike on previous occasions, this particular tech’s eyes swelled as she involuntarily blurted out “OH MY GOSH I’M SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT!”

I know, right?

I doubt I would have gotten that kind of response (complete unprofessional as it was) had the tech realized I was trans*.

It’s not that I particularly want random strangers constantly feeling sorry for my abdomen. Still, that involuntary response betrayed an understanding that being a woman and being born without a uterus might, for some people, under some circumstances, be A THING.

Outside of a handful of close friends, allies, and fellow trans* people, I very, very rarely receive that level of visceral empathy.

If cis people regularly had to deal with having trans* bodies, you had better fucking believe that they would get that shit taken care of right the fuck away. Yet, because society views my gender and my gendered bodied as delusional and fake, my getting appropriate medical care is nigh impossible.

Nobody, and I mean nobody with anything resembling a position of power wants to take a stand in favor of giving trans* people appropriate health care. Even the normally wonkcrushworthy (it’s a word now) Elizabeth Warren recently said that providing a trans* woman with necessary medical care was “not a good use” of government money.

There’s no excuse for us not having universal health care in the United States. But even in much of the rest of the world, trans people don’t have access to appropriate health care, even when they’re able to pay for it themselves.

I regularly deal with health professionals who have various suggestions on how to improve my outlook. They usually give decent advice, but they tend to give the kind of advice that well-intentioned, privileged cis people like to give trans* people-- good advice considering that it’s premised on a universe that I can’t imagine.

Crossposted from A Cunt of One's Own

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I Get Letters

[Content Note: Fat bias.]

You are fat!
That was the entire email. You are fat! I think the exclamation point is what I love most about it. It's a real eureka moment.

Yes, Perceptive Correspondent. I am fat! Congratulations on your unassailable observational skills!

I will never cease to be amused by dudes (always dudes) who think that telling me I'm fat will be received as an insult. It has as much capacity to harm me as telling me I have blue eyes or brown hair. All it conveys is that someone else hates me because I'm fat. It does not have any power to make me hate myself.

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Memorandum of the Day

Yesterday, President Obama issued a Presidential Memorandum on the Coordination of Policies and Programs to Promote Gender Equality and Empower Women and Girls Globally. In a White House blog post about the historic memorandum, Valerie Jarrett and Samantha Power note:

President Obama knows that promoting gender equality and empowering women and girls at home and abroad is not only the right thing to do, but the smart thing to do, as Secretary Clinton has famously said. A growing body of evidence- and our own experience- shows us that families, communities and countries are more prosperous and secure when, as President Obama said this month, "you unleash the power of everyone, not just some". That's why we've taken steps to achieve that simple and profound goal, from establishing the White House Council on Women and Girls, to launching a multilateral initiative to expand women’s political and economic participation, to developing a new strategy to prevent and respond to violence against women, to implementing a national action plan to promote the inclusion of women in conflict resolution and peace processes, to focusing on women and girls for greater impact in our global health and food security initiatives.

And Secretary Clinton's leadership in integrating the advancement of women and girls into U.S. foreign policy has been indispensable. With the tireless assistance of our first-ever Ambassador at Large for Global Women's Issues, Melanne Verveer, she has elevated these issues in our diplomacy and ensured progress for women and societies for generations to come.

Today, President Obama took a critical step to institutionalize all these efforts by signing a Presidential Memorandum to strengthen and expand U.S. government capacity and coordination across all agencies to better promote gender equality and empower women and girls. In the Memorandum, President Obama reaffirmed that "promoting gender equality and advancing the status of all women and girls around the world remains one of the greatest unmet challenges of our time, and one that is vital to achieving our overall foreign policy objectives."
Incoming Secretary of State John Kerry has said he will continue to prioritize gender equality in US foreign policy, and I desperately hope he will honor the work that outgoing Secretary of State Hillary Clinton began.

Obama signed the memorandum yesterday with Clinton at his side:

Obama signs paperwork while Clinton stands next to him
Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton watches as President Barack Obama signs a Presidential memorandum, "Coordination of Policies and Programs to Promote Gender Equality and Empower Women and Girls Globally," in the Oval Office, Jan. 20, 2013. [Official White House Photo by Pete Souza]
Via the Office of the Spokesperson of the United States Department of State, Clinton's statement this morning on President Obama's signing of this important memorandum:
The Obama Administration has made it clear that advancing the rights of women and girls is critical to the foreign policy of the United States. This is a matter of national security as much as it is an issue of morality or fairness. President Obama's National Security Strategy explicitly recognizes that "countries are more peaceful and prosperous when women are accorded full and equal rights and opportunity. When those rights and opportunities are denied, countries lag behind."

That's why I'm so pleased about the Presidential Memorandum that President Obama signed yesterday, which institutionalizes an elevated focus on global women’s issues at the State Department and USAID and ensures coordination on these issues across the federal government. And it is so important that incoming Secretary of State John Kerry has expressed his support for the continued elevation of these issues in our foreign policy.

As I have said many times, protecting and advancing the rights of women are critical to solving virtually every challenge we face as individual nations and as a community of nations. We have made great progress, but there is more to do. This is the unfinished business of the 21st Century, and it is essential that it remains central to our foreign policy for years to come.
I can only begin to imagine how desperate Clinton is to see this work continue, too. Thank you, Madame Secretary, for laying the pathstones.

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In The News

[Content note: Gun violence, gun culture, homophobia]

Torsdag Nyheter:

Standoff drags into its third day as a responsible gun owner holds a boy hostage in his underground bunker.

Also: A prosecutor was gunned down outside a Texas courthouse. One suspect is believed to be responsibly wearing a bullet-proof vest.

Girl Power! "Young women are speaking out as to why AR-15 weapons are their weapon of choice."

Fatboy Slim: "Weapon Of Choice"

The Andrews Sisters' last surviving member has died.

An earthquake of magnitude 6.0 struck off the coast of Alaska.

Marriage equality foes suffer from fundraising shortfall. Whoops!

The gay dog has been saved. Yay!

Conservatives are launching a Facebook alternative, "without all the restrictions". Neat!

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Daily Dose of Cute

image of Zelda the Black-and-Tan Mutt with a Very Serious expression

This iz mah srs face.

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime



XTC: "The Mayor of Simpleton"

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Post-Homophobic America

[Content Note: Homophobia.]

We have heard that we live in a post-racial America, and that we live in a post-feminist America. These things are not true, despite the insistence with which they are expressed by privileged people invested in the notion that racism and misogyny aren't Real Concerns anymore.

We hear less that we live in a post-homophobic America, at least in such explicit terms, but there is some notion attached with the increasing support for and legalization of same-sex marriage that the equality battle is largely won. This is partly a result of marriage equality having been positioned as the Final Frontier in equality by the most privileged members of the queer community, and mainly a result of straight people whose privilege inoculates them from the scope of how homophobia plays out in ways other than legal inequities.

This morning, I have read these three stories:

1. Niners CB Says Openly Gay Players Would Not Be Welcomed on the Team:

San Francisco 49ers cornerback Chris Culliver has made inflammatory comments regarding homosexuality in football just a few days before Super Bowl XLVII.

Shock jock Artie Lange revealed he had interviewed Culliver at media day Tuesday and aired a segment on his show that night, where the player insisted that any gay players would not be welcome on the team.

"I don't do the gay guys man," said Culliver, whose Niners play the Baltimore Ravens on Sunday. "I don't do that. No, we don't got no gay people on the team, they gotta get up out of here if they do.

"Can't be with that sweet stuff. Nah…can't be…in the locker room man. Nah."

When quizzed by Lange whether any homosexual athletes would need to keep their sexuality a secret in football, Culliver responded: "Yeah, come out 10 years later after that."
2. Tennessee 'Don't Say Gay' Bill Now Requires Teachers to Inform Parents if Their Child is Gay:
Tennessee's so-called 'Don't Say Gay' bill died with the adjournment of the state assembly last year. But now the measure is back — with new, harsher requirements.

The bill, SB 234, still bars Tennessee teachers from discussing any facet of "non-heterosexual" sexuality with children in grades K-8. But the newest iteration also includes a provision requiring teachers or counselors to inform the parents of some students who identify themselves as LGBT. State Sen. Stacey Campfield (R), who authored the bill the first time around and again introduced it this time, calls out students who might be "at risk," but leaves the interpretation of that behavior to the teacher.
3. Facebook Users Mount Campaign to Save 'Gay Dog' from Being Put Down by Tennessee Kill Shelter:
This healthy male American Bulldog mix is scheduled to be put down later today at the Rabies Control shelter in Jackson, Tennesee.

"Not bc he is mean or bc he tears things up," says a Facebook user [who pays regular visits to the kill shelter looking for dogs to rescue]. No: "Because his owner says he's gay."

According to the [Facebooker], this unloved pooch was rejected because he was found "hunched [over]" another male dog.

"His owner threw him away bc he refuses to have a 'gay' dog!" she writes. "Don't let this gorgeous dog die [because] his owner is ignorant of normal dog behavior!"
That's just stuff I've read this morning.

Equality is frequently treated as some sort of race with a definitive endpoint marked by a single achievement. Equality for African Americans was declared upon the Emancipation Proclamation, upon the passage of the Civil Rights Act, upon the election of the nation's first black president. Equality for women was declared upon women getting the right to vote, upon the passage of Roe v. Wade, upon Geraldine Ferraro's appointment to a national ticket.

Social justice doesn't work this way.

It's an ongoing process of changing the culture, including but not limited to meaningful legal changes. But marriage equality does not protect gay athletes in locker rooms, or gay kids in public schools, or bigotry that manifests in dangerous, oppressive, and/or absurd ways, like rejecting "gay dogs."

It's a tantalizing idea that one bit of legislation, or three bits, or ten, can mark an endpoint to institutional oppression. But culture changes not with the stroke of a pen. That takes a fuckload of teaspoons.

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Myths of Weight Loss

The wonderful Gina Kolata is in the New York Times today with a serious piece about the many false assumptions we hold about weight loss, abetted by bad (or incomplete) studies. I recommend reading the whole thing, but I do want to highlight this bit:

When [Dr. David B. Allison, director of the Nutrition Obesity Research Center at the University of Alabama at Birmingham] talks about his findings [about the many myths and unsubstantiated presumptions about obesity] to scientists, they often say: "O.K., you've convinced us. But what can we do? We've got to do something." He replies that scientists have an ethical duty to make clear what is established and what is speculation. And while it is fine to recommend things like bike paths or weighing yourself daily, scientists must make sure they preface their advice with the caveat that these things seem sensible but have not been proven.
Good for Dr. Allison! But I just love, ahem, how when he reports his findings about the dubiousness, at best, of many of the "facts" about fat, the immediate reaction is likely to be BUT WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING!

What a different culture it would be if fat people weren't a problem to be solved.

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Happy Birthday, SKM!

image of a birthday cake with a giant mustache on it, reading 'Happy Birthday, SKM!'

Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You look like a purveyor of the radical feminazi agendaaaaaaa!
And you smell like one, too!


(Mmm, jojoba!)

Every year on her birthday, SKM gets a cake featuring a Very Manly Man Offering Very Manly Birthday Wishes for her: Tom Selleck, Chuck Norris, Mr. T., Ron Swanson. This year, I figured I'd skip right to the point mustache.

Happy Birthday, SKM!!! I adore you, lady. I hope you have a great day and a marvelous year.

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Open Thread


Hosted by beets.

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Question of the Day

What album is currently getting the most airplay in your house?

If you are hearing-impaired and/or for any other reason can't or don't listen to music, please feel welcome to change your answer to some other form of media you're currently loving the heck out of.

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Breaking News

MOST DIVISIVE PRESIDENT EVARRRRRR Barack Obama is very popular.

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Just No

I am still, days after Hillary Clinton's Benghazi testimony, reading garbage about how she "got away with" something, and also about how she cried when recounting the human loss of the attack. Crocodile tears, etc. All the usual variations on how every time Hillary Clinton sheds a tear it is to evade accountability by "evoking sympathy."

Just No: There is not a woman in America who is laboring under the enormous misapprehension that crying evokes sympathy. Even our most intimate partners are taught to be suspicious of our tears, to regard them as mere markers of our intent to manipulate. We know quite well that crying evokes contempt, especially from those disinclined from extending us sympathy irrespective of our expression of its need.

If you believe that Hillary Clinton is a sentient woman, no less the savvy sort of politician who would counterfeit emotion if she calculated it would win her support, then trust me when I tell you she does not cry to evoke sympathy.

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Photo of the Day

image of a squirrel canoodling with a teddy bear
From the Telegraph's Pictures of the Day for 30 January 2013: Photographer Betsy Seeton took this picture of golden-mantled ground squirrel having an intimate moment with a teddy bear in Colorado. [Betsy Seeton/Solent News]

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Daily Dose of Cute



Jack and Potter

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Nina Simone: What Free Feels Like

Everybody is half-dead. Everybody avoids everybody. All over the place, in most situations, all the time. I know; I'm one of those everybodies.

And to me, it is terrible. And so all I'm trying to do, all the time, is just to open people up, so they can feel themselves and let themselves be open to somebody else. That is all. That's it.

[edit]

I always thought that I was shaking people up, but now I want to go at it more, and I want to go at it more deliberately, and I want to go at it coldly. I want—I want to shake people up so bad that when they leave a nightclub where I performed, I—I just want them to be to pieces.

[edit]

I want to go in that den of those elegant people with their old ideas, smugness—and just drive them insane.

[edit]

When I'm calm and cool and really got the antennae working, you know when to push and you know when to not. Nobody can tell ya, though—you have to feel it. In any situation between human beings. It's what makes a groove.

[edit; male interviewer asks her what freedom means]

What's free to me? Same thing it is to you. You tell me. ["No, you tell me." They both laugh.] Just a feeling. It's just a feeling. It's like how do you tell somebody how it feels to be in love. How are you going to tell anybody who has not been in love how it feels to be in love? You cannot do it to save your life. You can describe things, but you can't tell 'em. But you know it when it happens.

That's what I mean by free. I've had a couple of times onstage when I really felt free. And that's something else! That's really something else! Like all, all, like, like— I'll tell ya what freedom is to me: No fear! I mean, really—no fear. If I could have that half of my life...no fear.

Lots of children have no fear. That's the closest way—that's the only way I can describe it. That's not all of it. But it is something to really...really feel. I— [looks thoughtful; shakes her head and maybe chokes up a little] Wow. Like a new way of seeing. Like a new way of seeing something!
There is an entire post to be written about the connection between what Nina Simone is expressing here and this. But I don't want to write that post. I just want to let Simone's words work on me, and consider in what ways and spaces I have the privilege of feeling free, and in which ways and spaces I don't.

[Via Schmutzie.]

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Wednesday Blogaround

This blogaround brought to you by apples.

Recommended Reading:

Fall: The HAES® Files: On Ethics [Content Note: Fat hatred; bullying.]

Jorge: A Painfully Ironic Day for Boy Whose Dad Awaits Deportation

Lawrence: Vast Majority of Wage Earners Are Working Harder, and for Not Much More

Annie-Rose: Missouri Bill Would Require All First Graders to Take NRA-Sponsored Gun Class

Jenn: Reflecting on the Presidential Inauguration

karoli: 15-Year Old Performer at Obama's Inaugural Killed by Gunfire

FMF News: Malala Yousafzai Approaching Final Surgeries [Content Note: Violence.]

Lisa: Race, Rehabilitation, and the Private Prison Industry

Andy: Gay Marriage Foes Deep in Debt, Struggling to Meet Supreme Court Costs

Taegan: Fox News Ratings Plummet

Laura: Fly Me Away: Pilots and Volunteers Unite to Rescue Animals

Parks & Rec: The Manliest Banana You Will Ever See

Leave your links and recommendations in comments...

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Blog Note

It's not just you: Comments have been glitchy all week. Comments appear to post to the page, then disappear and reappear, or there's a big lag in their posting to the page. I've notified Disqus, and hopefully it will be resolved soon. In the meantime, please be assured we're not deleting comments (except where there are serious violations of the commenting policy, natch). I apologize for the inconvenience.

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Former Rep. Gabrielle Giffords' Opening Statement at the Senate Judiciary Committee Hearing on Gun Violence

[Content Note: Gun violence.]

Former Democratic Representative Gabrielle Giffords, who was shot at a public event in January of 2011, made this opening statement at the Senate Judiciary hearing on gun violence this morning:

Okay. Thank you for inviting me here today. This is an important conversation—for our children, for our communities, for Democrats and Republicans. Speaking is difficult, but I need to say something important: Violence is a big problem. Too many children are dying. Too many children! We must do something! It's [sic] will be hard, but the time is NOW. You must act! Be bold; be courageous. Americans are counting on you! Thank you!
Talk about brave women.

One of the most important things about Giffords showing up and speaking is that she is a reminder that statistics about gun deaths do not tell the whole story. Giffords survived. She survived. But she is forever changed. Her halting speech compels us to remember that gun violence is not just about those who die, children and adults, but about those who live, too.

image of Giffords' handwritten remarks
Giffords' handwritten remarks, from which she was reading. [Via TP.]

* * *

Meanwhile...


There are no words.

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Quote of the Day

"I haven't forgotten about Benghazi. Hillary Clinton got away with murder, in my view."—Republican Senator and world-class dirtbag Lindsay Graham.

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In The News

[Content note: Gun violence, transphobia]

Woensdag Nieuws:

A white Georgia man shot and killed a young Latino who accidentally pulled into his driveway.

Maryland lawmakers introduced a bill that would ban anti-transgender discrimination in the workplace, housing and public accommodations.

Hey look! Someone is saying that fat is not the same thing as illness. Radical!

Shippensburg University will be allowed to keep its Plan B vending machine.

Israel attacked a convoy on the Syrian-Lebanese border last night "as concern has grown in the Jewish state over the fate of Syrian chemical and advanced conventional weapons."

Former Illinois Governor George Ryan leaves prison and enters a halfway house. Good luck, George Ryan!

Hasbro unveils Star Wars Black Series action figures. Neat!

The Shaggs, a 60s rock band formed by three talentless sisters, are going to be the subject of a new film. Oof.

Is this the best horror preview voice-over ever?

Jim Nabors got married. Awesome. Totally awesome.

YouTube will introduce paid subscriptions for individual channels later this year.

Where were CD revenues up in 2012? Japan.

Also: The most beautiful record stores in the world.

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime



Nick Heyward: "You're My World"

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New Girl!

[SPOILER WARNING: There are all kinds of major spoilers from last night's episode of New Girl in this thread, so if you haven't seen it yet, you might want to skip it.]

Who wants to talk about last night's episode of New Girl with me? Because OMG NEW GIRRRRRLLLLL!!!!!! There were so many things I loved about this episode! Let us discuss ALL OF THE THINGS!

Nick Turtleface bullet point { That is a bulletpoint of Nick's turtleface. I know it's really small, but I hope you will just enjoy that a Nick's turtleface bulletpoint exists in the world.

Nick Turtleface bullet point True American is the greatest game of all time, right? What are the rules? WHO KNOWS! There is definitely not a print-out of the rules, though, so don't even ask!

Nick Turtleface bullet point "Damn it! I've been trying to get something going with myself for a full hour. It's like a taffy pull on a hot summer's day!"

Nick Turtleface bullet point "Pipe talk's boring!"

Nick Turtleface bullet point "Holly, he's really happy! He's got a 401k and a six pack!"

Nick Turtleface bullet point I know I have said this before, but I love Jess' and Cece's friendship. I also love how even though they are the primary ladies on the show, all the other ladies are still treated as human beings, even the weird ones. I really liked Winston's date in last night's episode; I hope she sticks around.

Nick Turtleface bullet point Jess running around the apartment bored. THE ROBOT! Amazing.

Nick Turtleface bullet point Melon head Nick!

Nick Turtleface bullet point Love the way Sam reacted to Jess' and Nick's predicament when he arrived at the party. So not threatened. In a good way. But also kind of in a bad way? It felt like a perfect navigation of that space in which someone is so cool for deservedly trusting their partner, but is also just that little bit too detached to see some truth about their partner they should probably be able to see. Sam is doomed, but it's not because he's terrible, or because Jess is terrible; they're just not quite right.

[Seriously. I'm warning you about the spoilers! Last chance!]

Nick Turtleface bullet point Love the way the show has handled the relationship between Jess and Nick. It's been so thoughtful and so honest. The characters have been allowed to talk bluntly about their attraction to one another, and it's been this thing that is part of their friendship. It's so refreshing to see an arc like this one (and who knows where it's going; WHERE IS IT GOING?!) that avoids the typical stupid conceit that one person is COMPLETELY UNAWARE that the other is mooning desperately over them, and then there are all these absurdly implausible circumstances that keep them apart interminably. The narrative of their relationship has been natural, and, crucially, both of them are equally invested in it.

Nick Turtleface bullet point THIS. ♥

Discuss!

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Seen

[Content Note: Religious supremacy; reference to clergy abuse.]

Another friendly message from my neighborhood church:

image of a church sign reading: 'A person committed to god provides the best modle [sic] for us'

Yes, this is the same church where "Christian" was recently misspelled, too, but whatever. Not everyone's a great speller.

Most people, however, have the capacity to understand, even if they evidently lack the willingness, that posting a public message that people with god-belief are axiomatically good people, and people without god-belief are inherently less than is some real bullshit. (And abuse-abetting, to boot.)

I'm guessing if I walked into that church and asked which god-committed person provides the best model—Jim Jones, Nechemya Weberman, or Osama bin Laden?—I would be instructed they mean Christian people, and if I then asked which Christian god-committed person provides the best model—Jim Bakker, Ted Haggard, or William Lynn?—the No True Scotsman fallacy would be invoked without a trace of irony.

There is no truth to this statement. It is not true that any old person committed to god is "the best" model for everyone. This is just another casual bit of Christian Supremacist bullying that conflates god-belief with ethical behavior. Believing in god is itself not a moral act.

It gets really fucking old being an atheist in this neighborhood.

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Today in Fat Hatred

[Content Note: Fat bias; medical malfeasance.]

From the Whoooooooooooops I Diagnosed You as Fat Files: Brian Harms was diagnosed as fat and told to lose weight if he wanted to feel better. Turns out he had a cyst deep in his brain that nearly killed him, of which uncontrollable weight gain was a symptom. Whoops!

Thank Maude that Harms lived.

But when people like me say "Fat hatred kills people all the time," this is what I mean. It's not hyperbole. It's a terrible truth.

[H/T to Shaker Carol.]

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Discussion Thread: When I Was Brave

After posting "Women Are Brave" yesterday, I had a request from Shaker koach for a thread in which Shakers can share stories of when they were brave, by every definition. So here it is. Share a time when you were brave. Share all the times!

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Open Thread


Hosted by celery root.

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Question of the Day

What was the last play you saw (dramatic or musical)? If you've never seen a play, please feel welcome to offer what play you'd most like to see.

The last one I saw via the magic of television was Anna Deavere Smith's amazing one-woman show Let Me Down Easy, video of which Deeks has here. The last one I saw live was a local high school production of Footloose, which was surprisingly terrific.

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Feel the Kentucky Homomentum!

Vicco, Kentucky (pop. 335) has passed a ban forbidding discrimination on the basis of gender identity or sexual orientation.

The New York Times' coverage, while not perfect, has a good description of the process, and of the role played by the city's openly gay mayor, Johnny Cummings. In addition to shepherding through this equality measure, Mr. Cummings has been active in trying to improve the town's infrastructure and civic pride:

As mayor, Mr. Cummings inherited a skeleton-crew city that could not afford to keep all the office lights on. What’s more, the creaky pipes in its water system, which generates money for the city through sales to area customers, were leaking more than 40 percent of the water, or revenue.

“How do you fix this?” Mr. Cummings remembers thinking. “I’m just a hairdresser.”

He began by making amends with government agencies that had long since written off Vicco, hiring back the maintenance whiz who knew the city’s pipes better than anyone and securing public grants to pay for the work. Now, he says, the repaired pipes are creating enough revenue to hire more workers and restore some color to Vicco’s dreary black-and-white.

For example, he paid $600 for the bold blue metal bench that now sits in front of City Hall, emblazoned with the city’s name. He also hired the city’s first police officer in years: Tony Vaughn, a former detective and one of Mr. Cummings’s protectors back in high school...

...This place-in-progress called Vicco was one of a handful of municipalities to receive a request last year from the Fairness Coalition, a Kentucky-based advocacy group for people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Mr. Cummings happens to have a sister, Lee Etta, who is active in the coalition.

The coalition’s request: to consider adopting an anti-discrimination ordinance.

The city’s forward-thinking attorney, Eric Ashley, trimmed the coalition’s 28-page ordinance proposal down to a couple of pages. Then the mayor and the four-member Commission, all heterosexual men, met in December for a first reading and a discussion that ended with a 4-to-0 vote in favor of adoption.

Congratulations to the people of Vicco!

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Two Bits of News

1. The Senate has confirmed John Kerry as the next Secretary of State.

2. President Obama gave an address on immigration reform earlier today. The full transcript of his speech is available here. He did not say anything in his remarks about bi-national same-sex couples, but that will reportedly end up in the proposed legislation.

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Promoted from Comments

[Content Note: Cultural misogyny and gender essentialism.]

Shaker AnnaAnastasia in comments on An Observation (About Tokenism), shared with her permission:

That we are mysterious, that we are an impenetrable and unrelatable monolith, that our communication and interaction with each other in real life is so inscrutable that it cannot possible be deciphered and reproduced
And you know what's a weird byproduct of this for me as a woman? That for as long as I can remember, I've been intimidated when engaging in friendships with women (in groups or one-to-one) because I've internalized that they're inscrutable, even though I am one.

Even from elementary school, girl-only slumber parties felt like checklists - did we paint our nails? Check. Eat a pint of ice cream? Check. Call boys? Check. I didn't even know whether I liked those things, and I certainly didn't know how to suggest doing things that were coded as less "girly" like digging in the mud. I just knew the script, because that's what I was told that girls do, so I played along. In university, I felt far more comfortable living in a mixed-gender unit than I did when I lived in an all-female unit, simply because I thought there was a script for living solely with other women. (To this day, I don't quite know what I expected, only that I expected something.)

Even today, I can't tell you the number of times that a female friend or friends have asked me to go shopping, or to the movies, or to hang out, as humans often do, and I become nervous and wonder how to "act" with another woman. I use "act" intentionally, because it feels like an act: I stand outside myself and wonder how a group of women would act in this situation. Should we pick the "girly" romantic comedy, or will she be disappointed if I suggest the action movie, because women don't watch those (even if I do)? What if I want to go shopping in a record store, not a lingerie store? Is that weird, as a woman, to find that more interesting? Of course not, but it doesn't stop me from feeling awkward. Being with a group of mixed gender friends is so much easier for me.

I guess what I'm saying is that we live in a really messed-up patriarchy when as a woman, I've mentally put myself in the role of a male scriptwriter who doesn't believe he knows how to depict relationships between women, even though the script I'm writing is my own life as a woman.
I relate to this a lot. One of the things that made a difference for me is feminism (SHOCKING I KNOW) and really internalizing the reality that women are not a monolith. A lot of what I thought was an awkwardness in interacting with other girls and women for many years was really just being friends with women who didn't share my (allegedly unfeminine) interests.

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Women Are Brave

[Content Note: Misogyny; harassment.]

There are a million garbage misogynist narratives demeaning women as less than—women aren't funny, women can't get along with each other, women can't achieve the extraordinary genius (or the depths of depravity) that men can, etc.—all of them self-evident crap to anyone who has interacted with women and cares to move beyond patriarchal narratives of institutional diminishment.

It's an impossible task to rank the capacity for rage-making these Myths of the Lady Monolith, but one of the tropes that most infuriates me, every time I have the misfortune to stumble across another of its endless iterations, is that women are weak—and its rubbish corollary that women aren't brave.

In order to maintain this illusion, bravery is typically defined in ways that have traditionally favored men. But even using traditional narratives, there are women who demonstrate courage: Among the staff and commentariat of this blog are women who have served or are serving in the military, female cops, female firefighters—women in a number of professions that require they put themselves in harm's way in the commission of their daily jobs.

If we expand the traditional definitions of bravery to include that which requires courage based on a circumstance of potential harm, all the women who publicly disclose concealable identities in public spaces where they may risk retributive harassment, physical abuse, employment insecurity, familial estrangement, community ostracization, or face other meaningful consequence are brave: The women who come out; the women who transition; the women who identify as feminists, womanists, atheists, survivors; multiracial women who can pass as white; women with invisible disabilities, including and especially mental illness; women who have had abortions; women who provide abortions.

That is hardly a comprehensive list, because it takes gumption just to walk out every day into a world that hates you.

Sure, there are female cowards, who are cowardly about some things or lots of things. But the point is not that there are no women who are cowards; the point is that there are women who aren't.

My friend Ari recently celebrated her 40th birthday. Shortly after, she got up onstage, in front of a packed house, and did stand-up comedy for the first time. And then, last Friday night, for the second time.

Now, despite my bias, I will tell you that Ari is a hilarious woman, who can make me laugh until tears roll down my cheeks. She has the capacity to command attention in a way I cannot fathom, and when she finds all eyes on her, she has the tremendous gift of elevating everyone in the room.

But on Friday night, it was not as remarkable that she was funny (although she was!) or charismatic (that, too!), but that she was one of five comedians, the rest of whom were all straight white men whose acts can collectively be paraphrased as: "Women are the worst, amirite? I am definitely a stalker. Also: I HAVE A PENIS! Goodnight!"

The only other woman onstage that night was a waitress, beckoned by the headliner to bring him a shot from the bar, then sexually harassed as he instructed the audience to check out her ass as she walked away.

Ari, a woman of color, smack in the middle of the group o' dudes, stood on the stage in pursuit of her longtime dream—and she told jokes that were not cruel, jokes that were not self-hating, jokes that celebrated female bodies, jokes that demanded the audience see her as a confident, strong, sexual, smart woman. She didn't compromise or conceal herself: She challenged us to love her, just as she is, in a space that was explicitly hostile to women in multiple ways.

It's not dragging someone off a battlefield in a hail of shrapnel, but I defy anyone to tell me that shit ain't brave.

My kingdom for a world in which women's bravery is celebrated in its every expression.

(Full Disclosure: I do not have a kingdom.)

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Fatsronauts 101

Fatsronauts 101 is a series in which I address assumptions and stereotypes about fat people that treat us as a monolith and are used to dehumanize and marginalize us. If there is a stereotype you'd like me to address, email me.

[Content Note: Fat bias; dehumanization.]

#17: Fat people's choices are always dictated by their fat.

This is not as obvious a narrative about fat people as something like "All fat people eat enormous amounts of food and never exercise," but it is just as pervasive in the lives of many fat people.

It's a common narrative of oppression: Anything a woman does can be attributed to her femaleness; anything a person of color does can be attributed to hir race; etc. Intersectionality only throws a wrench into the words so much as bigots have to decide whether a lesbian, say, is doing this or saying that because she's a woman or because she's gay. Sometimes: Because she's a gay woman!

It's a ubiquitous way of marginalizing people via their identities, frequently "justified" by evo-psych studies that argue X people's habits can be explained by how they had to fend off the wolfosaurs or whatever. It's in our DNA!

Anyway. This shit, generally minus the evo-psych science because fat is viewed as a behavior, happens to fat people all the time, because fat is such a visible part of a person's identity. Whatever explanation there might be for a fat person eating a salad, the axiomatic conclusion is that it's because zie's trying to lose weight. Whatever explanation there might be for a fat person avoiding airplanes (y'know, like the very common fear of flying), the reflexive presumption is that it's because zie can't fit in the seat. Whatever explanation there might be for a fat person having a bad knee, many people will simply assume that the injury is a result of one's fatness, not because of, say, a tumble on an icy sidewalk or a bad twist during a friendly soccer league.

I get this all the time. If I pass on fried food, someone may comment, "Oh, yeah, I know it's so bad for you; I should be watching my weight, too," though I'm passing because it upsets my stomach to fuck. If I mention walking the dogs, I am likely to hear what great exercise it is, though I primarily walk my dogs because they need to piss and shit, not for my own health (which isn't to say there aren't also health benefits). If I don't want my picture taken, it must be because I am fat. If I don't want to wear a particular style of clothing, it must be because I am fat. If I don't want to do a certain activity that requires physical exertion or getting onstage, it must be because I am fat.

(And, as an aside, there are legitimate reasons why a fat person might not want to do some of those things for reasons specifically related to fat bias. But not wanting to do something because I'm fat and not wanting to do something because fat people get harassed and bullied in those situations are not actually the same thing.)

Probably 99% of my life, I don't wear a wedding band, and, when I do, it's one of four different rings: My great-grandmother's wedding band; the wedding band Iain put on my finger at City Hall; the ring I chose when we updated our rings after Iain's band fell down a vent; and the ring I chose when we got new rings for our 10th anniversary. They all fit; I love them all very much; I'm just not someone who's keen to wear a wedding band all the time, for various reasons having nothing to do with my feelings about my relationship and my husband, and some things to do with my feelings about maintaining my individual personhood with people and culture outside my marriage.

I have a complicated relationship with my wedding band! Is what I'm saying. Which is a whole other post.

But despite this complexity, it has been assumed, out loud, to me, that I don't wear my wedding band because it doesn't fit anymore.

I'll allow you a moment to appreciate the irony of my not wearing a wedding band because of reductionist assumptions about married women, only to face reductionist assumptions about fat people.

...

Here's the thing: Fat people are people. (Still a radical concept!) We are denying fat people their comprehensive, individual personhood when we assume everything a fat person does can and must be explained by their fatness. The name for that is not "common sense," as it is so often euphemized, but dehumaniztion.

-------------------------

Previously:

#16: You are helping fat people by shaming them.
#15: Fat people hate having their pictures taken.
#14: All fat people are unhealthy.
#13: Fat people looooooooooove Twinkies!
#12: Fat people don't like/want to see media representations of themselves.
#11: No one wants to be fat.
#10: Fat people need you to intervene in their lives.
#9: Fat people don't know how they look.
#8: Fat people don't deserve anything nice.
#7: Fat people are permission slips for thin people to eat what they want.
#6: Any fat person eating a salad or exercising is trying to lose weight.
#5: Fat is axiomatically ugly.
#4: Fat people eat enormous amounts of food.
#3: Fat people are jolly/mean, and fat people are shy/loud.
#2: I can tell how someone eats all the time, because of how they eat around me.
#1: Everyone who is fat is fat for the same reason.

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Feel the Hoosier Homomentum!

Here's marriage story that made me smile:

Bloomington Mayor Mark Kruzan is conducting a wedding ceremony Thursday for more than a dozen LGBT couples, in a move meant to protest a proposed constitutional amendment that would ban same-sex marriage.

The ceremony coincides with the 10th anniversary of the PRIDE LGBTQ Film Festival in the city, and will take place at the Buskirk-Chumley Theater at 10 p.m. following the opening night of the festival.

Along with Kruzan, six members of Bloomington's city council and two members of Monroe County Council are expected to attend and pledge support, according to a news release. Local clergy will also be at the ceremony.

All my best to Mayor Kruzan and to the happy couples, for Thursday and for every day.

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Daily Dose of Cute


Rory the Rat Terrier, dreamily lying in blankets: I still can't stop thinking about Tony. Wondering where he could be, who he is with, what is he thinking, is he thinking of me, and whether he'll ever return someday...

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Changing Your Name at Marriage? "That Only Works For Women."

As we have discussed previously on this blog, the decision to change one's name--or not--upon marriage is fraught with a lot of cultural baggage. People have all kinds of good reasons to do so, or not.

However, if you're a man, the state of Florida figures that your reason is fraud. And that makes you a criminal:

Lazaro Dinh was initially issued a new license after presenting his marriage certificate at his local DMV office and paying a $20 fee, just as newly married women are required to do when they adopt their husband's name.

"It was easy. When the government issues you a new passport you figure you're fine," he said.

More than a year later Dinh received a letter from Florida's DMV last December accusing him of "obtaining a driving license by fraud," and advising him that his license would be suspended at the end of the month. Ironically, it was addressed to Lazaro Dinh.

"I thought it was a mistake," he said.

But when he called the state DMV office in Tallahassee he said he was told he had to go to court first in order to change his name legally, a process that takes several months and has a $400 filing fee.

When he explained he was changing his name due to marriage, he was told 'that only works for women,'" he said.

WHISKEY. TANGO. FOXTROT.

I would say more, but my brain is stuck on the "boggle" function.

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In The News

[Content note: Homophobia, gun culture, murder]

Martedì Notizie:

Reports are spreading that Chick-fil-A has ended its donations to antigay groups. But that's not the whole story.

The State Department has closed the office tasked with closing the Guantánamo Bay prison.

Comcast sucks.

Pro-gun fuckfaces shout at father who lost his son in the Newtown shootings.

Who's signing up for this? [NSFW.]

A Virginia inmate will get a full court hearing on her lifelong quest for sex-reassignment surgery.

Tower of Power's Rick Stevens, paroled after 36 years in prison, is back on stage.

Google releases detailed map of North Korea, gulags and all.

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Two Facts

1. David Brooks is still being employed by the New York Times to write a garbage column.

2. In this week's offering, which is about what's wrong with the GOP, Brooks manages to write this:

Since Barry Goldwater, the central Republican narrative has been what you might call the Encroachment Story: the core problem of American life is that voracious government has been steadily encroaching upon individuals and local communities. The core American conflict, in this view, is between Big Government and Personal Freedom.

While losing the popular vote in five of the last six presidential elections, the flaws of this mentality have become apparent.
—and then fails to address even obliquely that the "apparent flaw" is actually the profound hypocrisy of the Republican Party, who continue to narratively position themselves as the defenders of Small Government and Personal Freedom while recklessly spending enormous amounts of taxpayer money on bullshit and trying to use the power of government to compel forcible childbirth, deny basic equality, and crush workers' right to organize.

The GOP isn't even honest about who they are when they're navel-gazing. Americans expect politicians to lie to us, but we expect them at least not to lie to themselves.

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime



Gin Wigmore: "Man Like That"

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What Have You Done of Paramount Importance for Me Lately?

Chris and Zeke at BuzzFeed reported last night that "same-sex couples will be a part of the proposal for addressing immigration reform that President Obama is scheduled to unveil Tuesday in Las Vegas." This is excellent news, if accurate, both because it is the ethical thing to do and also because it's a direct challenge to DOMA.

Anyway. One of the architects of the Senate's bipartisan immigration proposal, Senator John McCain (R-Eallysoreloser) had to piss on the parade on CBS this morning, grumping "that including binational gay and lesbian couples whose relationships are currently not recognized by the federal government in the proposed legalization process is a 'red flag' that is 'not of paramount importance'."

Now you know I could spend all day every day writing about how terrible John McCain is (because that's pretty much exactly what I did during the 2008 election), but I'm not highlighting this totally typical bit of McCain fuckery to kick the Senator while he's already stuck in the quicksand on the shores of irrelevance.

I just wanted to highlight how emblematic of contemporary Republican thinking and argumentation this particular bit of haughty dismissal is: The issue is not of paramount importance.

To whom?

It is certainly of paramount importance to bi-national couples who cannot be together because the US government jettisons its charter of universal equality when it bumps up against not treating LGB people like second-class citizens.

It is certainly of paramount importance to immigration reform advocates who have petitioning for this change (among others) for more than a decade.

It is certainly of paramount importance to me, who has written ALL THE LETTERS to my elected representatives begging them to please extend to same-sex couples the right granted to Iain and me, because our love for one another and our desire to spend our lives together is not special because we're of different sexes.

But it's not "of paramount importance" to John McCain and the members of his garbage party. It's only "of paramount importance" to People Who Don't Matter. So it's thus not "of paramount importance" to anyone at all.

That, right there, is why the Republicans lost the Presidency, are a minority in the Senate, and wouldn't even have a majority in the House were it not for gerrymandering.

Members of their party are making noises about having to change the way they say things, and do things, but the GOP is never again going to be a functional national party as long as they continue to assess need on the basis of privilege.

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