I Got Your Badge in Communist Campfire Cooking Right Here

[Content note: homophobia, misogyny, religious oppression.]

Girl Scouts and former Scouts beware! Right-wing radio pastor Kevin Swanson is on to us:

Swanson warned that the “wicked” Girl Scouts are promoting “lesbianism” and abortion, calling the cookies “food offered to idols.”

...Swanson added that Girl Scouts are creating a generation of independent women who will put a “communist in the White House” and promote the “gay and lesbian agenda.”

He warned that “lots and lots of lesbians” attend Girl Scout conventions and criticized the Girl Scouts for hosting Houston Mayor Annise Parker and musician Sara Bareilles.

And just in case the scope of our iniquity wasn't fully clear, his co-host elaborated:

Buehner alleged that girls shouldn’t participate in Girl Scout sales because they might then think it is acceptable to be “a woman who is going to compete with men in the marketplace,” when they should train their daughters on how to become “a woman who will be a helpmeet to a man so he can compete in the marketplace.”

Hmmmm... let me check my badge vest. I know I have one in "Ignoring my Helpmeet-y Duties" somewhere, along with "Taking a Man's God-given Job Away."

Still working on the "Put a Commie in the White House" one, though.

You can read and listen to fuller excerpts at Right Wing Watch, if you have the stomach and the time to waste. Personally, I'mma put those precious minutes to good use, offering Girl Scout cookies to my idols, Steampunk Abortion Robot and Karl Marx Fashion Doll.

Feel free to share your favourite un-godly badges in comments!

[BIG h/t to elle.]

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