Film Corner: Gravity (Again)

Hey, everyone! Do you remember when I posted the first trailer for AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH: The Movie I MEAN GRAVITY the name of this movie is definitely Gravity even though it should totally be AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH: The Movie? And remember how I said that I can sit through a movie like The Blair Witch Project, or whatever found footage bullshit is currently making people pass out and barf in theaters if their hyperbolic advertising is to be believed, without a flinch or even passing evidence of interest flickering on my face in between my disinterested yawns, but movies like Open Water and Open Water 2: We're Gonna Need a Smaller Boat terrify me! And this is like Open Water 3: This Time It's in Space, so I AM FOR SURE GOING TO BE TERRIFIED BY THIS MOVIE!? Remember all that?

Well, Warner Bros. has released more trailers, and we should definitely all watch this one together and pee our pants:

Astronaut Sandra Bullock is hurtling through space. SHE IS JUST HURTLING THROUGH SPACE ALL BY HERSELF! She is breathing really hard because HOLY SHIT. We are seeing EARTH and SPACE and EARTH and SPACE from her perspective as she tumbles through space ass over teakettle OMG.

The camera pans around so we can see her DEEPLY PETRIFIED eyes. "Explorer, do you copy?" she asks. HURTLING. TUMBLING. "Houston, do you copy?" HURTLING. TUMBLING. "Houston, this is Mission Specialist Ryan Stone. I am off-structure and I am drifting. Do you copy?" HURTLING. TUMBLING. "Anyone?" HURTLING. TUMBLING. "Anyone? Do you copy? Please copy. Please."

The camera pans back so we can see her HURTLING and TUMBLING through space, as a brightly-lit Earth hovers in the background like a taunting reminder of her isolation. Fuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh.

It's all one shot. IT'S ALL ONE SHOT. Somehow that makes it even more terrifying!

I know that some people hate these kinds of movies, because they are often very heavy-handed metaphors for some shallow existentialist commentary on how we all die alone or whatever, and I know that some people love these movies for the same reason, but THESE MOVIES MAKE ME SO LITERAL, Y'ALL. Wev your metaphors! I don't want to get eaten by sharks! Or space sharks!

I will probably see this movie. Is what I'm saying.