[Content note: Homophobia, racism, misogyny]
For Your Friday News Hole:
President Obama showed his supporters his gratitude by giving them a heartfelt thank you. That was pretty great!
Romney thanked his staff by cancelling their credit cards on election night. That's not so great.
Also cancelled: Romney's $25,000 fireworks celebration over Boston Harbor. Dang.
And: Romney had no concession speech penned. Obviously. What a great campaign!
Anti-choicers are doubling down now. Of course.
Today's Secret Word: Sedition. Family Research Council's chief dildobrain Tony Perkins and self-appointed dildobrain Donald Trump are both calling for revolution.
Related: Peter Morrison, racist douchebag and treasurer of the Hardin County Republican Party, wants Texas to secede.
Oklahoma residents who vowed to flee to Canada if President Obama was reelected got a primer in the quickest route possible out of the country from a local traffic reporter. Heh.
Here is some creepy: A new Xbox patent allows Kinect to monitor how many people are watching a movie.
Obama is "so absolutely delighted" by our marriage equality wins in Maine, Maryland, Washington and Minnesota.
Lynyrd Skynyrd will cease using the Confederate flag as a stage decoration at concerts. Neat!
Stacie Laughton, a New Hampshire Democrat, became the nations first openly transgender lawmaker. Yay!
Gay sex will lead to human extinction! What? We made all the heteros stop fucking?
Also might lead to extinction: Here is the trailer for World War Z, a zombie movie.