Shaker rvh emails, which I am sharing with her permission:
My 13 yr old son is addicted to porn. (In a nutshell). He consumes straight porn. I try to be very open about sexuality in the house with him and his brothers; he's the middle one. However, basically, my fear is that he is seeing women be degraded and presented as a product for consumption. I know there are varying schools of thought surrounding porn and whether it can be empowering for participants, but that isn't really relevant to whether it communicates to a young man that women are a product to be consumed by the heterosexual male gaze. I referred him to Scarleteen for sex questions, but that doesn't seem sufficient.My suggestion: "I cannot think of a great resource for a 13-year-old boy, besides Scarleteen. You may have already tried this approach, but I know a lot of adult straight men I know who have gotten engaged with the concept of enthusiastic and explicit consent have subsequently found straight porn deeply problematic (i.e. less enjoyable), because so much porn is contra those ideals. So maybe talking around the porn discussion altogether about notions of explicit consent and equal partnerships, even and especially in sex coupling, would dim the fire a little bit, lol."
I've almost broken my Google looking for some guidance, but I'm not finding anything great. I don't want him to get the impression that I'm telling him sex is wrong or erotic materials are wrong. My question is: Any ideas? Can you recommend any good resources?
What say you, Shakers?