I Write More Letters

by Shaker Moderator Aphra_Behn

[Trigger warning for misogyny, gender essentialism, violence, sexual assault and harassment, rape culture, domestic abuse, bullying.]

TO: Mr. Jim Trebilcock
Executive Vice President of Marketing
Dr Pepper-Snapple Group
U.S.A.

Are you there, Mr. Trebilcock? It's me, Aphra.

I don't know if you got a chance to look at the letter I sent you last week about the Dr Pepper Ten campaign designed by Don Draper your totally not-stuck-in-the-1960s marketing team. In it, I raised concerns about aspects of your campaign such as a commercial which derides "feminine" taste in films, and a Facebook campaign which includes such items as an app where men can publicly shame each other for failing to live up to "masculine" behaviors (the "Ten Man'Ments") and a game wherein players may shoot stereotypically "feminine" items like high heels and lipstick.

The response I received from Dr Pepper-Snapple Consumer Relations was essentially the same boilerplate response that at least two other Shakers got. And having read it, I can only guess the author was completely unacquainted with (a) my original letter and (b) anti-feminist Bingo.

(Spoiler Alert: You've got the central square covered!)

Now I'm all for efficiency and mass production, but before you go Henry Ford with your replies to unhappy customers, you might want to take just a quick moment to consider: Is implying that my customers are humorless, hysterical, and colossally unobservant via form letter is really the best way to go?

(Spoiler Alert: It's really, really, not.)

And in the interest of doing you a favor, I'm going to craft a totally personalized response to your letter, and let you know exactly where you might re-think things.

Let's start here:

Thank you for writing to us about Dr Pepper TEN and allowing us to respond to your concerns. I am a woman who loves the full flavor of Dr Pepper TEN and the fact that it’s only 10 calories. When I first saw the tongue-in-cheek advertising campaign and the tagline, my reaction was, "I'll be the judge of that." In other words, no one is going to tell me what I can eat or drink.

Well, that clears up that, doesn't it? YOU GOT A WOMAN TO SAY IT'S OK! Now that your anonymous staffer has waved the Wand of Erasing Sexism +10) over the campaign, I can see I was totally wrong...

Hey, wait. No, that's actually not how it works.

You don't get to trot out a member of an oppressed group to say that sexism is okay and then have all the nasty implications go away. Women do not have a hive-mind. And some women have good reason to participate in their own oppression; for example, when one's employer is rolling out a massively misogynist advertising campaign and wants one to opine on it. Offering up one example and telling your consumers that this is the right reaction is not only insulting, it's ridiculous. As a matter of fact, sexism is not just a matter of opinion. I think you'll see what I mean as we go along.

We have a huge female customer base that has been satisfied with Diet Dr Pepper as their beverage of choice for years; however we learned through extensive market research that there was a gap in our male audience that was looking for a low-calorie alternative to regular Dr Pepper that lacked the diet imagery. We created Dr Pepper TEN to fill that void. Dr Pepper TEN features steel-grey packaging with rivets and a manly tagline, "It's Not For Women."

Now, I realize you think your customers have the observational abilities of a particularly distracted tree sloth. But I think I am on safe ground noting that anyone who writes you about this product ALREADY knows you are marketing to men. You want to open new marketing ground? Great! Fantastic! Awesome! Forget Team Jacob, forget Team Edward—GO TEAM CAPITALISM!!! Woot! Yay! *sparkles*

But there are ways to market to men that don't involve denigrating women, the feminine, and any man who doesn't fit a very narrow gender stereotype. In using subtractive masculinity as your marketing strategy, you denigrate a very wide swath of the human race, despite your claim that:

We also know Dr Pepper TEN will appeal to both men and women, however the marketing strategy is tailored to our market research and filling the need of the male target with the tongue-in-cheek marketing campaign.

If I follow your logic, telling women that something is off-limits is actually a way to welcome women with open arms.

Mr. Trebilcock, your logic is not like our earth logic.

Because, make no mistake, every single fucking day, women and girls receive the message loud and clear that certain things are off-limits to them because of their gender. Military women are sexually harassed and assaulted so often, by their comrades, that the resultant psychological trauma has its own moniker: MST, or Military Sexual Trauma. Any woman who dares run for political office will quickly find herself subjected to demeaning sexist stereotypes and generally treated as less-than human. Girls and women in gaming spaces must put up not only with a deeply hostile culture, but with massively sexist designs built right into many games.

Humorless, dull feminist that I am, I translate those messages as a clear message to women and girls: THIS IS NOT FOR WOMEN. But according to the logic your Consumer Relations team is giving me, I now see that I should interpret them as "COME ON IN, LADEEEEZ! THE WATER'S WARM!"

Are you kidding? In a world where I, along with other women and girls, deal with sexist shit being flung at me every day, do you really think I'll respond to one more dinosaur-sized turd by saying "Ohhhh! Dr Pepper, you scamp! This turd's different! It's so very inviting!"

We hope you, too, will come to see our advertising campaign for what it is, a humorous take on the many men who are worried about their waistlines but are too "manly" to drink a diet soda.

Oh shit. Humor? Really? Wow, I had not picked up on that at all!!! Oh well, nothing to see here, move along...

No. Wait. Saying excuse "it's a joke" doesn't, in fact, make it okay. That's the excuse of bullies from the playground on up. It doesn't fly in nursery school. And it doesn't fly here.

My ex used to make hilarious "jokes" about my alleged feminine foibles that made us late to parties and outings, when in reality we were often late because of his last-minute shouting and agitation that reduced me to tears. He used to make "tongue-in-cheek" comments about how my graduate work really was an excuse for loafing, comments made especially hilarious when he "accidentally" tried to burn my doctoral dissertation notes. He had many a "humorous" take on my alleged need for a keeper/minder/babysitter, which explained—in a FUNNY way!—his need to constantly keep tabs on my movements, my friends, even my conversations with family.

He was a real card! And we haven't even gotten to the part where he threatened me physically. That was a real laugh-a-palooza.

(Spoiler Alert: It was actually some horrific shit.)

Let's be clear: I'm not saying your campaign will turn otherwise decent human beings into abusers. I am saying it confirms the idea that the feminine is less than, and that's exactly the logic that fuels abusers and bullies. If abusers and bullies can look at your campaign and come away with their sexism confirmed, rather than challenged by your "humor," then you ARE CONFIRMING SEXISM. Abusers and bullies use the excuse of "it's a joke" every single day. It doesn't make it any less abusive, and it doesn't make it any less wrong.

If you aren't familiar with this dynamic, it's Domestic Violence Awareness Domestic Violence Awareness Month AND National Bullying Awareness Month, so now would be a great time to catch up. Not the best time to launch a pro-misogyny, pro-bullying advertising campaign, but a great time to catch up.

And once you're caught up, I sincerely hope you'll consider doing the right thing. End your contemptibly misogynistic campaign, replacing it with one that insults neither masculinity nor femininity. Creativity: Isn't that what you pay your creative team for? You might even make a donation to one of many worthy organizations that help people deal with the horrific real-life effects of misogyny and gender policing: Rape, abuse, bullying, and other forms of emotional and physical violence.

On the day that happens, I will give Dr Pepper-Snapple Group a full salute for having proven that making a profit doesn't have to come at the expense of denigrating humanity.

But for now, since you can only be bothered to write a half-assed boilerplate letter in response to consumer concerns, I can only be bothered to give you a one-finger salute in response to your contemptible campaign.


Sincerely,
Aphra

cc. Shaker Cauldroness and Shaker bellnola