The Olympic Committee Hates Babies

That is the only reasonable conclusion to come to, given that they have spent years arguing they couldn't possibly allow ladies' ski jumping, since the competitors would damage their babymaking bits, but have now decided at long last to include "women's ski jumping and four other new events for the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia."

Unless, of course, the IOC was never actually concerned about women hurting their delicate ladyparts and was using that as pitiful excuse to avoid admitting they're actually scared that women might be better at the sport.

Which is, perhaps, why it was that when their concern about male competitors' delicate fee-fees female competitors' delicate ladybits grew thin, they argued, to stop women competing at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics, that "the sport lacked enough elite competitors."

The women seemingly sealed their case at the Nordic world championships in Oslo in early March, when competitors jumped in heavy fog and strong winds.

IOC board member Gerhard Heiberg of Norway said he was impressed by the level of competition and would recommend the event's inclusion to IOC President Jacques Rogge.

No catastrophic injuries to vaginas (or male egos) has been reported.

Congratulations, ski-jumping women. You've more than earned your place at the table.