Breathtaking

[Trigger warning for animal cruelty.]

Convicted animal abuser and NFL quarterback Michael Vick wants a dog:
Eagles quarterback Michael Vick, who spent time in prison for his involvement in dog fighting, said Tuesday having a dog as a pet would help in his rehabilitation.

In an interview with NBC News and TheGrio.com, Vick said, "I would love to get another dog in the future. I think it would be a big step for me in the rehabilitation process."
Reading this the first time, I thought: No dog's safety is worth risking in service of Michael Vick's rehabilitation, but, yes, in theory, it's too bad he mistreated dogs and now can't own one, and because dogs can be important teachers and healers.

And then I read the next sentence:
"I think just to have a pet in my household and to show people that I genuinely care, and my love and my passion for animals; I think it would be outstanding."
Oh. He didn't mean his rehabilitation as a human being. He meant the rehabilitation of his public image. Of course.

Well, no worries, Michael Vick. I'm sure a cameo awaits you in The Hangover 3.

[H/T to Shaker Whooie.]

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