So this lady wants to marry some guy

The BBC is reporting that a woman in Hong Kong is trying to marry her boyfriend.


The issue is that doctors declared the woman in question, who we'll call "W" (because her lawyer didn't give the BBC her name) to be a boy back when she was in the hospital following her birth. Ergo, the government is under the impression that she and her boyfriend are both men.

Her lawyer isn't pressing that same-sex marriage should be legal, because, well, you know, this doesn't directly involve same-sex marriage.

I think it's pretty obvious that the ultimate solution to this situation is to make marriage between any consenting adults legal (along with, say, respecting trans people's identities). More radically, one might abolish government recognition of marriage altogether, and give everyone the right to control their household(s). But have you tried either of those lately? That shit takes forever.

Homophobic and transphobic societies put people like W and I in very nasty corners. I'm sure there are GL(b) activists reading this story who are angry that W isn't fighting with them, but I hardly see how W has any more of an obligation to fight for gay rights than any other person in a heterosexual relationship.

This brings us to my partner and I, who were married despite both being ladies who lived in Wisconsin, where that sort of thing isn't cool.

Here's the deal: governments don't want transsexual people to marry anyone, or to exist at all. We're kinda a pain that way. I mean, the woman at the county clerk's office didn't want to issue us a marriage license because 'Sir, your driver's license is fraudulent', I hardly think she was ready to let me marry a man.

Even when transsexual people do marry people of a different gender in places where same-sex marriage is illegal, [TW: transphobia and violence]challenges to their marriages can come at any time. This hardly makes trans peoples' marriages equal to those involving two cis people.

I'm not sure what my point is. I guess I'm just tired. My identity, and that of my trans family seems to be the keystone of just about each and every one of society's battles about sexuality. Often I hear people say that this means that we should be at the forefront of each and every one of these battles. I suppose I try, but that, my friends, is tiring.

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