(edited below the fold)
Despite what your advertising people may have told you, this is not a commercial:
(Transcript below the fold)
This is a twisted conglomeration of stereotypes. In 15 seconds, you perpetuate and reinforce the ideas that the “typical” teenage girl:
is distracted by sparkly things,
is a dangerously poor driver,
Who is this girl? I'm not sure she's typical. And, as if the commercial isn’t insulting enough, you have the nerve to refer to this mysterious girl as “Mayhem?”
Who’s “in good hands” with you, Allstate? Certainly not young women or the image of them.
Exasperated and insulted,
ETA: via Shakers ajoye and The Chemist:
Because women out performing their daily routines are a danger to men who just can't help themselves. Here is the same sentiment present in so many rape apologists' arguments: "It's the woman's fault for wearing certain clothing/being attractive/taking up (public) space)."
A pink SUV makes its away across a parking lot. The camera then switches to the inside of the SUV where we see a disheveled man (Mayhem) driving and clutching a cell phone with a sparkly cover.
Mayhem: "I'm a typical teenage girl."
The phone chimes and Mayhem looks down at it. In the process, he hits the front fender of a car and knocks it off, damaging his own car, as well. He continues to drive off and tosses the cell phone into the back seat.
Screen fades to black and the words "Are You in Good Hands" and then "Allstate" appear.
Commercial opens on Mayhem jogging with requisite pink headbands and weights.
Mayhem: I’m a hot babe out jogging. I’m out making sure this (gestures towards his upper body) stays a ten when you drive by.
(Guy drives by in black car and ogles Mayhem. Mayhem smiles and winks because we all know how flattering it is to be ogled.)
Mayhem: You’re checking out my awesome headband when…
(Guy crashes into light pole)
(Light pole falls on car)
Mayhem: That’s when you find out, your cut rate insurance… it ain’t paying for this.
(Guy gets out of the car to survey damage)
Mayhem: So get Allstate. Save cash and get better protected from Mayhem like me.
Allstate logo appears along with voice of Dennis Haysbert: Dollar for Dollar, nobody protects you from Mayhem than Allstate.