My Prayer for Today

Since the President has called on me to pray today, even though a federal judge has declared the National Day of Prayer unconstitutional, I feel it is my civic duty to offer the following spiritual appeal in accordance with my own faith and conscience:

Dear DUC:

Please restore my national government to a state of integrity wherein it respects its own founding documents.

Also, please assure that monkeys fly out of my ass.

Have a shpadoinkle day!

Portly