Textbook Blues

Hey, assholes! It's Kenny Blogginz here with another one of my beloved college textbook reviews!

A wise man once said, "College is for NURDZ (not the good kind, either)," and I couldn't help but agree with that sage after a year of attending a local community college.

Look, Shakers, all I've ever wanted to do is to chillax with my smoky bros and brodettes, all up in somebody's basement, watching somebody's copy of Dragonslayer on somebody's flat-screen tv. I don't need a bunch of ex-ministers harshing my buzz! Imagine my horror when I went to my "Intro to Inter-Personal Communications" class, and found this gem in my textbook:

[It's a textbook page reading: Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. As men moved eastward, they found a plain in Shinar and settled there. They said to each other, "Come, let's make bricks and bake them thoroughly. They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. Then they said, "Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves and not be scattered over the face of the whole earth." But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower that the men were building. The Lord said, "If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other." So the Lord scattered them from there all over the earth, and they stopped building the city. That is why it is called Babel—because there the Lord confused the language of the whole world. Genesis 11: 1-9. And it's followed by an image of Pieter Bruegel's painting c. 1563 painting "The Tower of Babel."]

"Um—sorry, Professor Lordly. I didn't realize this was the Bible Study. I thought I was in college. I am? WHAAA?" Psshh. Whatever, dude.

And don't even get me started on my Writing class. That's right, true believers: I, your beloved Kenneth Quincy-James Blogginz, was forced to take a WRITING class. That's like making Cory Doctorow take a class on being awesome. Or making Neil Gaiman take a class on how to be loved by Kenny Blogginz.

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