Fat and Wordy, yo

Inspired by a (surprisingly) brief e-mail-based conversation I shared with Liss on the topic of our shared blogorrhea (the obsessive need to fill the blank space - ever and always renewing blank space, curse you, computers! - with words, words, beautiful words), and with an apology to a certain Mr. Yankovich:

Fat & Wordy

They see me scrollin’
My blog roll
I know they’re all thinking I’m so fat and wordy
Think I’m just too fat and wordy
Think I’m just too fat and wordy
Can’t you see I’m fat and wordy?
Look at me, I’m fat and wordy
I wanna roll with
The blogstas
But so far they all think I’m too fat and wordy
Think I’m just too fat and wordy
Think I’m just too fat and wordy
I’m just too fat and wordy.
Really really fat and wordy.

First in my class here at Shakie-V
Can write, I’m a champion at speechin’ free
MC’Ewan - that’s my favorite MC
Now I’m 40, and my face is all liney
My mug’s never thin, to the contrary
You’ll find that it’s plump like a berry
None of my theory tomes are cherry
Favourite book is my dictionary
My ref’rence shelf is all totally pimped out
Got people diggin’ my neologizin’
Yo, I drop words in a thousand places
Can’t leave the lure of the empty spaces
I can hang in a comment thread for days and days
I’m a whiz at arguments – my words just raze
Once you read my sweet words you’re gonna stay amazed
My fingers movin’ so fast I’ll set the Toobz ablaze
There’s no takedown that I haven’t done
At critique, well I’m number one
Feminist analysis just for fun
I ain’t got a joke but I can kill with a pun
Bella Ciao is my fave protest song
I could sing it out if you want to sing along
I’ll take down neo-cons who bring on
Any fallacies – and I can do it in Klingon

They see me bikin’
With my big ass
I know in my heart they think I’m fat and wordy
Think I’m just so fat and wordy
Think I’m just so fat and wordy
Can’t you see I’m fat and wordy
Look at me, I’m fat and wordy
I wanna scroll with
The blogstas
Because it’s apparent I’m so fat and wordy
Think I’m just so fat and wordy
Think I’m just so fat and wordy
I’m just so fat and wordy
I’m so glad I’m fat and wordy

I’ve been bloggin, interjectin’
Comment threads, you know I inspect ‘em
Dust jackets on my books, I must protect ‘em
My little laptop keyboard
Never leaves me bored
Cruisin’ online for things I can write about media
LOL at Conservapedia
I memorized Female Eunuch so very well
I could recite it right now
And have you say “Caitie well what the hell?”
I got a business doing edits (edits)
When my friends need some words, who do they call?
I do the spellcheckin’ for ‘em all
Even made a personal ranty blog

Yo, I got myself an open mind
Seems they’re really not hard to find
Spend my nights with a keyboard tap-a-tap
Hit “Post”, hope someone reads me
Look, “Fuck’s-sake” from Deeky!

I’m wordy in the extreme
And writin’ feminist themes
I ain’t no Repub, hate the G-Dub, cause yah, “I have a dream”
Yah the question is
Which of them’s the worst
Cause Billy O’s bad
But Limbaugh comes in first
Spend every weekend at my laptop over here
Got my byline, it’s way up there

They see me scrollin’
Blog-rollin’
Cons shakin’ in their boots ‘cause I’m so fat and wordy
Just because I’m fat and wordy
Just because I’m fat and wordy
All because I’m fat and wordy
You know I’m fat and wordy
I wanna scroll with
The blogstas
And I will, cause I’m obviously fat and wordy
Liss and I so fat and wordy
We're so glad we're fat and wordy
We're both so fat and wordy
Look at us, we're fat and wordy

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