John McCain - Antichrist

Mccain antichristBeing deeply devout and American, I hold two truths to be self-evident - that the End of Times are upon us, and that Jesus is American.

It is with this in mind that I hereby unveil a Truth that will shock and amaze you - John Sidney McCain is the Antichrist.

I do not make this claim without evidence, mind you. After literally minutes of research, I have found that there can be no denying - John McCain is Satan Incarnate. Here are some vital facts:


Seven Deadly Sins



While there has always been mystery surrounding what form the Antichrist will take when it comes to Earth, there is one thing that is assured - that the Antichrist will be a Sinner of world-class standing. By looking at the Seven Deadly Sins, it is easy to see that McCain has taken sinning to an unholy level:

Lust: John Sidney McCain is guilty of Lust. He is an adulterer, very likely several times over.

Gluttony: John Sidney McCain is guilty of Gluttony. From his seemingly endless barbecues to being presented with donuts by Associated Press Political Reporters Liz Sidoti and Ron Fournier to gorging on German sausage, McCain's lust for food is legendary. And in other areas - such as his sudden desire to drill for oil anywhere and everywhere - McCain continually has shown that he can never get too much of things he likes.

Greed: John Sidney McCain is guilty of Greed. McCain and wife Cindy are worth as much as $100 million, own 10 homes, and favor expensive Italian shoes. McCain's home in Arizona comes with its own man-made lake.

Sloth: John Sidney McCain is guilty of Sloth. As a Senator from Arizona in the 110th Congress, McCain missed 64 percent of the votes. He has now missed 42 consecutive Senate votes on a wide range of subjects.

Wrath: John Sidney McCain is guilty of Wrath. His deep inner Wrath is well-documented and many colleagues deem him far too Wrathful to be trusted with the U.S. Presidency. Even McCain's famous "I lived at the Hanoi Hilton longer than anywhere else" comment came from his Wrath, as he admitted afterward: "I was just mad and had taken a swing."

Envy: John Sidney McCain is guilty of Envy. Since the 2000 U.S. Presidential Election, McCain has been blatantly obvious with his envy, first with George W. Bush, then to Mitt Romney and now Barack Obama. When you have something McCain wants, he has shown he will do or say anything to try and even the score.

Pride: John Sidney McCain is guilty of Pride. The next time McCain stops talking about his experiences being a POW will be the first since Nov. 2006. A recent scientific study has conclusively proven that McCain is 200 percent more ignorant than Barack Obama, and proud of it.

Signs of the Antichrist



This individual, known as Antichrist in the Bible, will be a sinister world leader that shows up during the End Times. He reigns terror for three and one half years. He will be the leader of a ten unit empire. He will be powerful and is even able to perform miracles. His powers will come from satan. He and his sidekick, the false prophet, will deceive the world. These two will cause everyone in the world to take a mark in their right hand or in their head. Nobody can buy or sell anything without this mark. They will also create an image and all must worship it ... Or die. The number one mission of Antichrist is to get the entire world to worship him as their lord. If they choose not to, they will be killed. It will truly be HELL on earth.

-- Serious Theologist.


The above text is the final proof that John Sidney McCain is the Antichrist. Note that the Antichristwill only reign for three and a half years. McCain has already let out hints that he will only be a one-term President. Other connections:

"He and his sidekick, the false prophet, will deceive the world."

Karl Rove
is running McCain's campaign. Enough said.

"These two will cause everyone in the world to take a mark in their right hand or in their head."

McCain has long been willing to stick RFID chips into everything and everybody.

John McCain - Antichrist



In the end, there is but one conclusion - John McCain is the Antichrist and End Times are imminent. The World is one U.S. Presidential election away from seeing the Book of Revelations become a reality show.

Scoff at this well-researched theory you will, but just remember, it makes exactly the same amount of sense as the theory held by many Republicans that Obama is the Antichrist.

--WKW

Shakesville is run as a safe space. First-time commenters: Please read Shakesville's Commenting Policy and Feminism 101 Section before commenting. We also do lots of in-thread moderation, so we ask that everyone read the entirety of any thread before commenting, to ensure compliance with any in-thread moderation. Thank you.

blog comments powered by Disqus