Ahoy-hoy, Shakers! Who among you good people has summoned me to the fore...?
Shaker Jay in Oregon, I swear to the everloving fates above and below this earth upon which I stand in my dapper spats, that if you don't stop abusing the Grumbles Signal like some dastardly rapscallion with gruel for brains, there will be hell to pay! Hell. To. Pay.
Young man, I am the Head Detector of Potions, Elixirs, and Poisons for the US Government and Its Occupied Territories. My vocation is of vital importance to this fine nation, and I cannot spend my afternoons on a wild goose chase after the source of the Grumbles Signal because you fancy a snicker-doo at my expense!
So listen here and listen well, you roustabout: I am a competent and efficient fisticuffer, and I will not hesitate to box you or any other cheeky crumblebum about the ears until you beg for my mercy if you unleash the 'stache again for nothing more than a twiddle-dee-dee! Is that understood?
Good day!
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