Teach Me Thy Ways Thaddeus- SNORT!

Some of you may remember Rep. Thaddeus McCotter (R-MI) during the SCHIP wackiness where he said: "Republicans like kids—and not just medium rare with a side of fries." He's a funny sort. McCotter marched onto the House floor and translated DEMOCRATSPEAK for all the C-SPAN viewers. Being a clever sort of politician or having an aide with horrid video encoding abilities, Thaddeus uploaded his performance to YouTube. If any of you pinko-commie, global warming believing, get out of Iraq, liberal DEMOCRATS are confused about your words, Thaddeus translated them into "proper context." He also posted a handy primer on the House Republican Policy site.

So watch and learn as Thaddeus translates with a ruler and CHARTS! Charts, people! "Charts" on poster board with colored words NEVER lie!


Or read and learn!
Transcript below:

In the interest of legislative process, whereby we hear many speeches on the floor, many members talk to their constituents; I'm going to try to bring a bit of enlightenment to this process with the use of a technological device as a ruler and chart. We're going to learn how to speak Democrat today.

Speaking local Democrat. Often we hear the word progressive, which translates into regressive, as used in a sentence, democrats are progressive. The translation, Democrats are regressive.

We hear the word change which means the 1970's. Democrats will bring you change. Translation, Democrats will bring you the 1970's.

Government means socialism. Democrats support proactive government. Translation, Democrats support proactive socialism.

Enhance revenues translates into raise taxes. Democrats will enhance revenues. Translation, Democrats will raise taxes.

This is my favorite part. The rich means you. For example, Democrats will only tax the rich. Translation, Democrats will only tax you. Ouch.

Invest translates into waste. Again used in a sentence. Democrats will invest your money. Translation, Democrats will waste your money.

Energy means lethargy. Democrats have an energy policy. Translation, Democrats have a lethargy policy.

Green collar jobs translates into unemployment. Democrats will replace your blue collar jobs with green collar jobs translates into Democrats will replace your blue collar jobs with unemployment.

Speaking global Democrat. Diplomacy equals magic. Democrats will protect America from Iranian nukes through tough principled diplomacy translates Democrats will protect America from Iranian through tough principled magic.

Engage means appease. Democrats will engage America’s enemies. Translates, Democrats will appease America’s enemies.

Importantly, end means lose. Democrats will end the Iraq war. Translation, Democrats will lose the Iraq war.

And finally, Contextually Construing Electoral Democrat, i.e., walking the party plank. This is a graduate level course.

As a progressive party, Democrats will bring you change to the production of green collar jobs and by using diplomacy to engage into diplomacy and end the Iraq war.

Translation, as a regressive party, the Democrats will bring you the 1970's by using socialism to raise taxes from you to waste in the production of lethargy and unemployment and by using magic to appease America’s enemies and lose the Iraq war.

I hope this exercise has been instructive.


No, it hasn't.

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