Get your Bingo cards ready!

'Cause Wil Wheaton's updated his psycho ex-girlfriend post!

Update: Here, let me try this one more time for the humorless and professional victims out there, who seem to have shown up in a flood today: Gender, race, sexual orientation, things that make us different that we don't choose . . . they just don't matter to me. At all. People are people and identity politics is stupid.

I found this post hilarious because it satirized the behavior of an ex-girlfriend/ex-boyfriend/ex-robot who just refuses to accept that it's over. I've had a psycho ex-girlfriend. My friends who are women have had psycho ex-boyfriends. In all cases, the behavior has been exactly like the behavior satirized in the post I linked. Get it? Get it? I'm talking to you now, people without a sense of humor: It. Is. Not. About. The. Gender. It. Is. About. The. Behavior. The Behavior. The Behavior.

Everyone get it now? Am I spelling it out simply enough for you? Let's all say it together. Use a puppet if it helps: It's about the behavior. It is not about the gender.

That's the whole point, that's the humor, that's what inspired me to link this post. If you're unwilling or unable to understand this . . . well, anything I'd say now would waste even more of my time, so I'll go back to pointing and laughing.

No, hon. We're pointing and laughing at you. It's so much fun watching you flail. Oh, and anyone else fill up their bingo cards just from these short paragraphs?

First, there's the accusation that anyone who didn't see what was so high-larious is "humorless" or a "professional victim." Then there's the lofty "I respect all differences" bit (belied, of course, by the gendered smears up higher in the post) followed by "identity politics is stupid."

Gosh, isn't it funny how those most eager to dispense with identity politics usually share a similar identity? Take, for example, Chris Bowers:

3. Coalition reorganization: Out with party silos, in with squishy goo-goos. In addition to a shift in culture and policy focus, I also expect a different approach to coalition building. A long-standing Democrats approach of transactional politics with different issue and demographic silos in the party shift toward an emphasis on good government (goo goo) approaches. We will see lots of emphasis on non-partisanship, ethics reform, election reform instead of on, say, placating labor unions, environment groups, and the LGBT community by throwing each of these groups a policy bone or two. Now, the focus will be on broad, squishy fixes that are designed to appeal to several groups at once. George Lakoff wrote about this a couple months ago.

No more identity politics! Broad, squishy fixes dictated by the creative class! Who happen to share the identity of Chris Bowers.

Moving on: Wil then tries to say that, sure, he called Clinton a bitch, but that's because she acts like one, so it's all okay! He then pretends that the psycho ex-girlfriend smear isn't at all gendered: why look! It could apply to a robot!

Get it? Get it? I'm talking to you now, people without a sense of humor: It. Is. Not. About. The. Gender. It. Is. About. The. Behavior. The Behavior. The Behavior.

Just ignore the fact that I'm flailing! Behold my mighty use of periods for emphasis, and tremble!

TREMBLE!

The rest is just standard-issue "You're just too dumb to see the humor, so I'm wasting my time, and by God, THIS GEEK IS GOING TO POINT AND LAUGH AT YOU! FEAR MY FINGER!"

Here's a hint, Wil: if you have to write an angry, defensive, bingo-filled screed explaining how uproariously funny the joke was to readers you think were too stupid to get the joke, the joke wasn't funny to begin with.

Thanks to Lauredhel for passing this on.